Emotional resistance to small dietary changes

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sanseverina5624
sanseverina5624 Posts: 16 Member
edited October 2017 in Motivation and Support
Hi! I've been working out for 2+ years and am disciplined, fit and strong, which I was not so much before. My body composition has changed a lot, also my mood and confidence. It has proven worth the work in more ways than I imagined, and I'm very motivated and committed to fitness now. *But*, having done all this work, I want to go the full distance and lose the few extra pounds I always seem to carry. I have always had decent control over my weight, but when it comes to making the changes to lose that little bit of extra, I sabotage my results at Mr. Donut. It's not a serious health issue or anything, but I don't want to cheat myself and stop a little bit short of my goal. But also, as for a lot of us I'm sure, food is comfort. Has anyone dealt with this motivational issue successfully? What do you tell yourself to walk away from something you don't need and will regret?

Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    you need to think about why you start to show these behaviours when you start to cut... you shouldn't be deprived if you're only taking 250 cals from your day.

    maybe have a look into re-feeds and think about how to incorporate treats so you don't feel deprived?
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,488 Member
    edited October 2017
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    You state "I don't want to cheat myself and stop short of my goal" so don't! Carry that commitment and motivation you have for fitness right on in to cutting the excess off.

    You could look at it as a two phase process and your goal is successful when you have completed both phases.

    Look for reasons you sabotage your efforts, set a comfortable calorie deficit goal and be as committed to it as you are your fitness.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    Is your goal to never eat donuts again?
  • sanseverina5624
    sanseverina5624 Posts: 16 Member
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    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Is your goal to never eat donuts again?
    Haha, no, impossible - just to stay within my set limits for a day.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    sanseverina5624 wrote: »
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    Is your goal to never eat donuts again?
    Haha, no, impossible - just to stay within my set limits for a day.

    or, look at your weekly goal, that way you can be more flexible?
  • sanseverina5624
    sanseverina5624 Posts: 16 Member
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    TavistockToad wrote: »
    maybe have a look into re-feeds and think about how to incorporate treats so you don't feel deprived?
    That could work: if treats are factored in, then I'm likely to treat them as part of the overall plan. I like this.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    sanseverina5624 wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    maybe have a look into re-feeds and think about how to incorporate treats so you don't feel deprived?
    That could work: if treats are factored in, then I'm likely to treat them as part of the overall plan. I like this.

    One thing I do around this time of year is buy a fruitcake and assorted treats from a bakery in Texas. These are treats which I know I must make adjustments to have, so I will make adjustments. All things within my calorie budget. You can do it, too, with your treats.
  • sanseverina5624
    sanseverina5624 Posts: 16 Member
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    All of your suggestions are helpful. Thank you. I will do some planning. I do respond to things I can plan and track.
  • vinerie
    vinerie Posts: 234 Member
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    I think you raise an important point about food being comfort. It is really hard to completely give up comfort food. Still working that out myself. Right now I try to calorie count as accurately as possible to try and "budget" for a more heavy/comforting meal. I'm not sure if that is the best thing to do--this is supposed to be about creating new habits and I have some thin friends who seriously don't need/want donuts. A donut is maybe a couple times a year thing. But they are completely satisfied eating light and healthy all the time. I don't get it, but they are not here on MFP trying to lose weight :(
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    You totally have to read Duhigg's book on Habit. He uses his doughnut habit to illustrate the habit/reward cycle. In Duhigg's example, the doughnut was feeding a need to stretch his legs and go socialize. Now he stretches his legs and socializes, sans doughnut.

    Slide122.jpg

    TL;DR Find out what is triggering your doughnut habit, and find an alternative reward.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,467 Member
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    Some things are specific problems. A donut is just a fried wad of goo. Can't recall my last donut.

    If you have goals, certain things are helpful, certain things not.

    Maybe there's a reason you're resisting getting there.
  • sanseverina5624
    sanseverina5624 Posts: 16 Member
    edited October 2017
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    There's more to this than donuts. It's about comfort food. I've considered exactly what these foods represent and do not want to cut them out 100%. I tend to fulfill obligations to others and in some respects, not always to myself. Meals are times free of stress and I need to look at how to replace that with another kind of time unencumbered by obligation. Also, I genuinely like food. Maybe one day I'll be that person who treats food as purpose-driven fuel, and I'm eating more in that way than before. I have always eaten mostly fresh, unprocessed food, anyway. For now, I think it's a matter of planning and tracking a small number of these foods. I respond to tracking and charts, so I'll pre-plan this.
  • alicebhsia
    alicebhsia Posts: 179 Member
    edited October 2017
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    sanseverina5624 wrote: »
    Hi! I've been working out for 2+ years and am disciplined, fit and strong, which I was not so much before. My body composition has changed a lot, also my mood and confidence. It has proven worth the work in more ways than I imagined, and I'm very motivated and committed to fitness now. *But*, having done all this work, I want to go the full distance and lose the few extra pounds I always seem to carry. I have always had decent control over my weight, but when it comes to making the changes to lose that little bit of extra, I sabotage my results at Mr. Donut. It's not a serious health issue or anything, but I don't want to cheat myself and stop a little bit short of my goal. But also, as for a lot of us I'm sure, food is comfort. Has anyone dealt with this motivational issue successfully? What do you tell yourself to walk away from something you don't need and will regret?

    what about finding a substitute? like a piece of cinnamon sugar toast or a small bowl of cereal or a soft roll with a little butter and honey. if the problem is that you are going to places like dunkin donuts or something, i guess the trick would be to not go in in the first place. ONE munchkin has 60-90 calories depending on the variety. one donut is like the equivalent of one of my whole meals. when i was younger and got tempted by something like a cookie or something i would just imagine cutting open my stomach and stuffing it in cause that's basically what would happen looks wise if i ate it.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    sanseverina5624 wrote: »
    There's more to this than donuts. It's about comfort food. I've considered exactly what these foods represent and do not want to cut them out 100%. I tend to fulfill obligations to others and in some respects, not always to myself. Meals are times free of stress and I need to look at how to replace that with another kind of time unencumbered by obligation. Also, I genuinely like food. Maybe one day I'll be that person who treats food as purpose-driven fuel, and I'm eating more in that way than before. I have always eaten mostly fresh, unprocessed food, anyway. For now, I think it's a matter of planning and tracking a small number of these foods. I respond to tracking and charts, so I'll pre-plan this.
    I would go so far as to say it's not about the donuts.
    I think you need to be more assertive, give more to yourself, and ignore others a bit. But I've also come to understand that this is your personality - how we are different - I recommend you read Gretchen Rubin's "Better than before" where she discusses the four "tendencies - obilger, upholder, questioner, rebel.
    Food is supposed to be pleasureable; looking at food as solely fuel, is a dangerous road to go down - especially if you like to eat. (Some people couldn't care less. They can live on Soylent (the meal replacement drink, not made from people).)
    Most people in the modern world get overweight from what they eat outside meals - snacks, treats, drinks, bits and pieces. Do not mess with your meals. If you stick to meals, you will most likely have a normal weight. Sticking to meals does not mean that you never eat outside meals, but that you mostly just eat meals. Meals made up of mostly fresh, unprocessed food means that it's harder to overeat (you can, but it's harder) than if you base your intake on grazing on cookies.

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