Emotional resistance to small dietary changes
sanseverina5624
Posts: 16 Member
Hi! I've been working out for 2+ years and am disciplined, fit and strong, which I was not so much before. My body composition has changed a lot, also my mood and confidence. It has proven worth the work in more ways than I imagined, and I'm very motivated and committed to fitness now. *But*, having done all this work, I want to go the full distance and lose the few extra pounds I always seem to carry. I have always had decent control over my weight, but when it comes to making the changes to lose that little bit of extra, I sabotage my results at Mr. Donut. It's not a serious health issue or anything, but I don't want to cheat myself and stop a little bit short of my goal. But also, as for a lot of us I'm sure, food is comfort. Has anyone dealt with this motivational issue successfully? What do you tell yourself to walk away from something you don't need and will regret?
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Replies
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you need to think about why you start to show these behaviours when you start to cut... you shouldn't be deprived if you're only taking 250 cals from your day.
maybe have a look into re-feeds and think about how to incorporate treats so you don't feel deprived?3 -
You state "I don't want to cheat myself and stop short of my goal" so don't! Carry that commitment and motivation you have for fitness right on in to cutting the excess off.
You could look at it as a two phase process and your goal is successful when you have completed both phases.
Look for reasons you sabotage your efforts, set a comfortable calorie deficit goal and be as committed to it as you are your fitness.2 -
Is your goal to never eat donuts again?1
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Haha, no, impossible - just to stay within my set limits for a day.kommodevaran wrote: »Is your goal to never eat donuts again?0 -
sanseverina5624 wrote: »
Haha, no, impossible - just to stay within my set limits for a day.kommodevaran wrote: »Is your goal to never eat donuts again?
or, look at your weekly goal, that way you can be more flexible?2 -
That could work: if treats are factored in, then I'm likely to treat them as part of the overall plan. I like this.TavistockToad wrote: »maybe have a look into re-feeds and think about how to incorporate treats so you don't feel deprived?1 -
sanseverina5624 wrote: »
That could work: if treats are factored in, then I'm likely to treat them as part of the overall plan. I like this.TavistockToad wrote: »maybe have a look into re-feeds and think about how to incorporate treats so you don't feel deprived?
One thing I do around this time of year is buy a fruitcake and assorted treats from a bakery in Texas. These are treats which I know I must make adjustments to have, so I will make adjustments. All things within my calorie budget. You can do it, too, with your treats.2 -
On days you decide you want to eat that donut, log it ahead of time and work the rest of your daily calories around it. It'll also give you all day to figure out how or if you want to do a little extra activity to help work it off. I'm not a big planner and I almost never prelog, but I've found this little trick to be helpful.5
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All of your suggestions are helpful. Thank you. I will do some planning. I do respond to things I can plan and track.1
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I think you raise an important point about food being comfort. It is really hard to completely give up comfort food. Still working that out myself. Right now I try to calorie count as accurately as possible to try and "budget" for a more heavy/comforting meal. I'm not sure if that is the best thing to do--this is supposed to be about creating new habits and I have some thin friends who seriously don't need/want donuts. A donut is maybe a couple times a year thing. But they are completely satisfied eating light and healthy all the time. I don't get it, but they are not here on MFP trying to lose weight
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You totally have to read Duhigg's book on Habit. He uses his doughnut habit to illustrate the habit/reward cycle. In Duhigg's example, the doughnut was feeding a need to stretch his legs and go socialize. Now he stretches his legs and socializes, sans doughnut.
TL;DR Find out what is triggering your doughnut habit, and find an alternative reward.2 -
I think this is interesting. I'm not sure I'm a typical emotional eater, I didn't eat to soothe emotions, but to prolong them; and I have been more of a compulsive, restrict-binge-grazer. Anyway, good taste is important to me. Looking at my meal plan, I would say everything I eat is comfort food. I have tried to eat a lot of greens and high fiber/low fat, but I can't, I rebel. But when I feel that I can make my own decisions, freely, I have nothing to rebel against. When I don't deem any foods "bad", I don't fear it, which would only enhance my desire and expecations, and when I finally "gave in" I didn't dare to pay attention, because I just felt I had to eat it fast, and "forget" it. And when I plan delicious meals, I have no reason to overeat or eat outside plan. I eat plenty of fruit and veg, too - and I enjoy it.I think you raise an important point about food being comfort. It is really hard to completely give up comfort food. Still working that out myself. Right now I try to calorie count as accurately as possible to try and "budget" for a more heavy/comforting meal. I'm not sure if that is the best thing to do--this is supposed to be about creating new habits and I have some thin friends who seriously don't need/want donuts. A donut is maybe a couple times a year thing. But they are completely satisfied eating light and healthy all the time. I don't get it, but they are not here on MFP trying to lose weight
I may have become one of those thin friends
I just decided to eat, move, think and feel like a normal weight person - so I don't eat to pass time anymore, and not to avoid hurting other people's feelings, or because it's cheap, or it's going to be thrown out, or because I've already broken my resolve by eating something unplanned/bad, or it's just a little left, or any of the reasons I used to mindlessly justify overeating. 5 -
Some things are specific problems. A donut is just a fried wad of goo. Can't recall my last donut.
If you have goals, certain things are helpful, certain things not.
Maybe there's a reason you're resisting getting there.1 -
There's more to this than donuts. It's about comfort food. I've considered exactly what these foods represent and do not want to cut them out 100%. I tend to fulfill obligations to others and in some respects, not always to myself. Meals are times free of stress and I need to look at how to replace that with another kind of time unencumbered by obligation. Also, I genuinely like food. Maybe one day I'll be that person who treats food as purpose-driven fuel, and I'm eating more in that way than before. I have always eaten mostly fresh, unprocessed food, anyway. For now, I think it's a matter of planning and tracking a small number of these foods. I respond to tracking and charts, so I'll pre-plan this.0
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sanseverina5624 wrote: »Hi! I've been working out for 2+ years and am disciplined, fit and strong, which I was not so much before. My body composition has changed a lot, also my mood and confidence. It has proven worth the work in more ways than I imagined, and I'm very motivated and committed to fitness now. *But*, having done all this work, I want to go the full distance and lose the few extra pounds I always seem to carry. I have always had decent control over my weight, but when it comes to making the changes to lose that little bit of extra, I sabotage my results at Mr. Donut. It's not a serious health issue or anything, but I don't want to cheat myself and stop a little bit short of my goal. But also, as for a lot of us I'm sure, food is comfort. Has anyone dealt with this motivational issue successfully? What do you tell yourself to walk away from something you don't need and will regret?
what about finding a substitute? like a piece of cinnamon sugar toast or a small bowl of cereal or a soft roll with a little butter and honey. if the problem is that you are going to places like dunkin donuts or something, i guess the trick would be to not go in in the first place. ONE munchkin has 60-90 calories depending on the variety. one donut is like the equivalent of one of my whole meals. when i was younger and got tempted by something like a cookie or something i would just imagine cutting open my stomach and stuffing it in cause that's basically what would happen looks wise if i ate it.0 -
I would go so far as to say it's not about the donuts.sanseverina5624 wrote: »There's more to this than donuts. It's about comfort food. I've considered exactly what these foods represent and do not want to cut them out 100%. I tend to fulfill obligations to others and in some respects, not always to myself. Meals are times free of stress and I need to look at how to replace that with another kind of time unencumbered by obligation. Also, I genuinely like food. Maybe one day I'll be that person who treats food as purpose-driven fuel, and I'm eating more in that way than before. I have always eaten mostly fresh, unprocessed food, anyway. For now, I think it's a matter of planning and tracking a small number of these foods. I respond to tracking and charts, so I'll pre-plan this.
I think you need to be more assertive, give more to yourself, and ignore others a bit. But I've also come to understand that this is your personality - how we are different - I recommend you read Gretchen Rubin's "Better than before" where she discusses the four "tendencies - obilger, upholder, questioner, rebel.
Food is supposed to be pleasureable; looking at food as solely fuel, is a dangerous road to go down - especially if you like to eat. (Some people couldn't care less. They can live on Soylent (the meal replacement drink, not made from people).)
Most people in the modern world get overweight from what they eat outside meals - snacks, treats, drinks, bits and pieces. Do not mess with your meals. If you stick to meals, you will most likely have a normal weight. Sticking to meals does not mean that you never eat outside meals, but that you mostly just eat meals. Meals made up of mostly fresh, unprocessed food means that it's harder to overeat (you can, but it's harder) than if you base your intake on grazing on cookies.2
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