Need advice, can't post on facebook

Options
sturgeonml2017
sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
in Chit-Chat
Best Best friend ever ia getting married and I'm attending the overnight bachelorette trip. Huge deal since ill be leaving my hubby and 1 year old overnight, I'm kinda freaked but its my best friend since childhood and I want to be there for her. Question is what do I do if they get a stripper? Well I guess not what but how because I'm not a a stripper type person anyways, but also I feel like it would be disrespectful to my husband to take part. How do I excuse myself without seeming like a total party pooper and nerd.
«13

Replies

  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Options
    What do you have against strippers? Strippers need loving too, ya know.
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    Lol. I'm just backwards and it makes me uncomfortable...lol. I could suck that up for her, but I try to ask myself what I would want my husband to do in the same situation.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Options
    livingleanlivingclean wrote: »
    sturgeonml2017 wrote: »
    Lol. I'm just backwards and it makes me uncomfortable...lol. I could suck that up for her, but I try to ask myself what I would want my husband to do in the same situation.

    Your husband would probably have a good old ogle, have a good time with his friends, and not think twice.

    Haha...This!!
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Options
    sturgeonml2017 wrote: »
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol

    So are you saying that your husband would have a problem with you being around a stripper?
  • rugratz2015
    rugratz2015 Posts: 593 Member
    Options
    Who's organising it? Not everyone gets a stripper.
    - I think the important person here is the bride, if she wants one then fair enough, you will have to put up with it, but if she doesn't then maybe you should make that point to whoever is organising that the bride won't like it.
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    Its not an insecurity thing with either of us, it's respect for the other person. Not putting yourself in a situation that shows disrespect for your spouse. My husband did not and does not tell me what I can and cannot do. All I was simply asking was if the situation becomes one in which I feel like its not appropriate for me, what is a classy way to excuse myself. Every person and every marriage is different. And we just so happen to think this way...if you would be uncomfortable with the other doing it, dont do it yourself. To ypur point rugratz, your right it ia a big if question, I'm a crazy person who stresses too much and can't sleep because I'm stressed about being away from my little one. If there happens to be one, I just need to remember Its for her, not me and like I said if something gives me that uncomfprtable feel then I will excuse myself.
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    Oh and thank you ironanwine. Good way to look at it.
  • sturgeonml2017
    sturgeonml2017 Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    sturgeonml2017 wrote: »
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol

    So are you saying that your husband would have a problem with you being around a stripper?

    No, I'm saying he wouldn't ogle girls and lie to me about it like the others suggested.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    Options
    callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »
    its not like like the stripper is going to have sex with you. or kiss you. or do anything with you. relax. have fun. its for the bride, not for you. if your husband is so insecure he doesnt even want you AROUND a stripper (thats not even meant for YOU) .... you have far bigger issues.

    Let's not evaluate the whole OP's relationship based on 4 sentences she wrote.
  • mnalsa83
    mnalsa83 Posts: 181 Member
    Options
    You could always talk to the bride. Let her know you're fine if she chooses but that you personally are uncomfortable and perhaps just let her know for that one activity you'll fly solo and find something else to do for the evening but that you'll be fine to attend other events planned.
    I'm not comfortable around them either and my one girlfriend did a stripper club. We got a booth, the guys mainly we're on stage. The bride's we're the only ones who got up there. At the end, the guys walked around and the few of us that were uncomfortable just sat back talking and a few of us excused ourselves to go outside.
  • Ironandwine69
    Ironandwine69 Posts: 2,432 Member
    edited October 2017
    Options
    sturgeonml2017 wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    sturgeonml2017 wrote: »
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol

    So are you saying that your husband would have a problem with you being around a stripper?

    No, I'm saying he wouldn't ogle girls and lie to me about it like the others suggested.

    Okay then..if you find out that there will be a stripper, mention it to your husband. And go have fun. The stripper will be just a small part of the party. Be a good sport for your friend. You don't have to interact with him if you don't want to. This is about the bride having fun.
    We all need to unplug for a evening.
    Have fun.
  • caco_ethes
    caco_ethes Posts: 11,962 Member
    Options
    A well timed bout of dysentery is all you require.
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    Options
    sturgeonml2017 wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »
    sturgeonml2017 wrote: »
    I hear all your saying! I wouldn't want to do anything to damper her party. But to be honest, you dont know my husband like I do. Sometimes i think he is from another planet...lol

    So are you saying that your husband would have a problem with you being around a stripper?

    No, I'm saying he wouldn't ogle girls and lie to me about it like the others suggested.

    Who said anything about lying to you about it?
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
    Options
    Who is organizing the event? Ask them what the plan is instead of assuming.
    Talk to the bride about it in advance. If she is your best friend she will understand and not want you to be uncomfortable.
    If you are uncomfortable with a stripper just plan leave during that portion of the event. Don't make a big deal about it in the moment. Maybe go get more food or drinks or say you are tired.
    If it is going to be strippers as the focus of the whole trip maybe get together with the bride and let her know you aren't comfortable attending that kind of event. Get together with her to do something else another time.

Categories