WHY DO I STILL FEEL FAT!!!!

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  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,222 Member
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    I started at 165 where I looked very fat. So Just keep losing. It isn't body dismorphia or anything. 167 is a lot. That's it. For an average height women 167 is overweight bmi. Lower half of healthy weight where you might start to look slim is 135lbs for an average height. At 167 you just aren't slim, that's why you don't feel so. Maybe you thought 150lbs would look differently. On me 150 looks fat. I have before pics at 160lbs and fat is dangling from everywhere. Just gross. I've been 125 my whole life and 125 was slim. 167 is fat. I'm 5'7.
  • kimberley1975mfp
    kimberley1975mfp Posts: 36 Member
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    Well this before picture is after my 2nd child. I went on to have 2 more after that picture. The second picture is me today. So I do know intellectually I’m NOT fat. My abdomen is definitely out of shape from the 4 kids and the weight gain over all those years. So it’s not super helpful for someone to say 167 is fat. It’s not fat considering and I am 5’6 and I do know that to have a normal range BMI I need to hit 150 which is why I set that as my goal. Because I wanted to be able to say “I’m normal”. Would I prefer 140? Well of course I would but I will take 150 for sure. Gonna work on where I was compared to where I am and be thankful
  • kimberley1975mfp
    kimberley1975mfp Posts: 36 Member
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    Before pic
  • memickee
    memickee Posts: 250 Member
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    Huge difference!! Way to go!
  • MonkeyMel21
    MonkeyMel21 Posts: 2,394 Member
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    The thing is, when you lose the weight right at first, most of the time you're not going to look like you imagined you would. This is when you need to give your body time to adjust, get a little elasticity back in to your skin, and preferably incorporate strength training if you haven't already. You will look better after all of that. I was a bit devastated after finally losing my pregnancy weight but after starting a boot camp and giving my self some time, I'm as confident as ever!
  • squirmmonster
    squirmmonster Posts: 98 Member
    edited October 2017
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    Being significantly overweight can have some pretty big long term consequences, especially some of it pregnancy. But it's really nothing to keep hurting yourself over. It is in the past and there's nothing you can do to change that. Focus is where you tend to end up going in life, so try to not focus on feeling fat, even when you do. This should be a strong motivator not to focus on it, since I'm sure you don't want to be overweight again! Focus instead on what you want to get out of continued weight loss (or fitness goals if you're okay with your weight now) and be realistic with yourself. Set some more goals and just keep imagining you've already done them. Picture you're already there. And as often as possible, monitor your thoughts. When you find yourself beating yourself up, say to yourself "I reject that". If you're alone, or somewhere that you are safe to be a little crazy, say it out loud, as powerfully as possible! If you have to do it in your head, imagine you're saying it that way, too. These are some things that have helped me recently, not to hate my body so much, and it is working.
  • DamienAngelica
    DamienAngelica Posts: 281 Member
    edited October 2017
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    You look wonderful! Congratulations on all your hard work! You definitely don't look fat at all, but I suspect it will just take longer for your mind to lose the weight your body already has.
  • lesliejharned
    lesliejharned Posts: 1 Member
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    You've accomplished so much and have a lot to be proud of!! I recall reading that we add to our fat cells when we are teenagers and when we are pregnant. That being said, don't be overly hard on yourself -- you've had four children. Just keep going with strength training, cardio and calorie reduction. Isometrics are great and work with kettle bells and dual handled medicine balls have been life changing for me.

    It is a great feeling when you notice your clothes are too big. They didn't stretch out -- you got smaller :). Your mind will eventually catch up to the reality. Just be consistent and stick with it. The changes you've made will benefit your mind, body and soul - and your precious children. Good luck!
  • Sunnybrooke99
    Sunnybrooke99 Posts: 369 Member
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    It doesn’t matter how good other people seem to think I look, I need to feel like I’m fit and in control of my body. I really have to have some regular workout, or I ‘feel’ fat. It’s not just in my mind. I get slightly achy, if I don’t work out, and my digestion is more sluggish.
  • Seffell
    Seffell Posts: 2,222 Member
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    kimberley1975mfp wrote: »
    So it’s not super helpful for someone to say 167 is fat.

    You said you think you look fat and that you are 167. I thought you wanted to not look fat when naked in the shower because you said you wanted to cry. So I offered my advice which was to lose more instead of learning to lie to yourself with false positive body images. After reading your reply I realise you only want to feel slim, not actually look slim. You only wanted to be told you don't actually look fat. That's fine then. The others have given you great encouragement about that. I hope you start feeling slimmer.
    It just never works for me. I need to look slim to actually feel slim. But to each their own.
  • crazykatlady820
    crazykatlady820 Posts: 301 Member
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    I spent my entire childhood until 15 years old hearing I was worthless, ugly, digusting, and no one would ever love me... every single day. I hated my father so much that I never realized how much his words actually stuck with me. I didn't even realize until this past year (at 35) that I have believed those words all these years. No matter how awful and untrue it is, when you are told something every day for years and years it stays with you. It has affected so much of my life without me even realizing it. I have always felt like even though I have a wonderful husband and 2 pretty awesome kids that one day they would realize I'm this awful unloveable person and they would leave me. Same for my friends. I have always approached every friendship like I'm an imposter and they'll realize it and dump me eventually. A man that is probably one of the worst humans alive made me hate myself and I didn't even realize it. It's hard work, but I do my best to love myself now. I tell myself every day that I'm not worthless, because maybe if I hear it enough it will be what sticks with me instead. Because I'm not worthless and I know it... it just takes time to remember that and to make sure my actions and feelings reflect my truth and not someone else's lies.

    My point is that you need to tell yourself the opposite of those awful things. You need to live in your truth and you need to know that you don't need anyone else's permission to feel beautiful and feel good about yourself. Give yourself permission to feel beautiful and to love yourself. It'll take a lot of work, you'll have to remind yourself every day (sometimes more than once a day), but you're worth it.

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