Has Anyone Noticed?
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Didn't expect there to be this much feedback! I'm already liking the chit-chat forum more
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Well dang *kitten* got wild when I got up to do dishes and start dinner.
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I guess from my perspective, at least half the time people think people in the forums are being "mean" those people are actually being constructive. All too often, people think that support = unwavering positive feedback and approval, and when they get something other than that, they think people are being rude, mean or generally unsupportive. Most of the perception of "meanness" is in the reader of these things and the interpretation, if you ask me.2
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In 5 years here, I've also noticed that a lot of people don't get sarcasm and for whatever reason think everything is "serious business"...2
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RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Plenty of undesirable, arrogant, condescending, self-righteous, and judgmental members here. They tend to have the loudest voices. Probably because they enjoy inflicting themselves on others and also because they thrive on drama. I avoid posting and commenting in these forums very much for this reason. I am over it honestly. If I post it is on my private MFP page. The people with whom I have become friends are genuine, straight forward and most of all helpful with out behaving in this off-putting manner. When I am do come to the forums I do more searching and reading than anything else.
However the few very good members out here who also have more than a shred of maturity and sensibility about posting are also appreciated. I tend to take their provided input seriously as while taking the "other kind" with a grain of salt.
There all sorts of people here. Sarcastic, mean, the ones that think their opinion is the only one that matters, passive aggressive, thirsty needing validation, sweet, kind, overbearing, fake, pretty much anything you can think of. All of the friends I have made have come from these boards and they are honestly the bomb. They may be sarcastic and rarely serious out here in forum land but on my serious wall posts, they are the best, sweetest, funniest, most genuine friends I can ask for. Everyone has multiple sides to them and they chose who they want to show them to and when.
They sure do have multiple sides. But what a lot of people show habitually is how they come to be known as this that or the other. My comment stands.
Wasn't trying to persaude your opinion. Just stating mine. My comment stands as well and I know that when I come into a forum setting that this is just one portion of that person and not to judge or make assumptions about someone based on that tiny glimpse of them.3 -
I guess from my perspective, at least half the time people think people in the forums are being "mean" those people are actually being constructive. All too often, people think that support = unwavering positive feedback and approval, and when they get something other than that, they think people are being rude, mean or generally unsupportive. Most of the perception of "meanness" is in the reader of these things and the interpretation, if you ask me.
Solid observation, much of what we take in is skewed by our perspective and what feelings we apply to the message. And like you know, perhaps an assumption that 100% positive support is what we're going to get.. yet that kind of support is neither healthy or realistic. It actually sets us up for a hard hit when someone lets loose some truth about something that we think we may be doing great at but are actually mediocre.0 -
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RunHardBeStrong wrote: »RunHardBeStrong wrote: »Plenty of undesirable, arrogant, condescending, self-righteous, and judgmental members here. They tend to have the loudest voices. Probably because they enjoy inflicting themselves on others and also because they thrive on drama. I avoid posting and commenting in these forums very much for this reason. I am over it honestly. If I post it is on my private MFP page. The people with whom I have become friends are genuine, straight forward and most of all helpful with out behaving in this off-putting manner. When I am do come to the forums I do more searching and reading than anything else.
However the few very good members out here who also have more than a shred of maturity and sensibility about posting are also appreciated. I tend to take their provided input seriously as while taking the "other kind" with a grain of salt.
There all sorts of people here. Sarcastic, mean, the ones that think their opinion is the only one that matters, passive aggressive, thirsty needing validation, sweet, kind, overbearing, fake, pretty much anything you can think of. All of the friends I have made have come from these boards and they are honestly the bomb. They may be sarcastic and rarely serious out here in forum land but on my serious wall posts, they are the best, sweetest, funniest, most genuine friends I can ask for. Everyone has multiple sides to them and they chose who they want to show them to and when.
They sure do have multiple sides. But what a lot of people show habitually is how they come to be known as this that or the other. My comment stands.
Wasn't trying to persaude your opinion. Just stating mine. My comment stands as well and I know that when I come into a forum setting that this is just one portion of that person and not to judge or make assumptions about someone based on that tiny glimpse of them.
That's pretty much what we all are doing. Personally I judge a person's behavior in the forums based on well.,... their behavior in the forums. People are often very different in person.0 -
I guess from my perspective, at least half the time people think people in the forums are being "mean" those people are actually being constructive. All too often, people think that support = unwavering positive feedback and approval, and when they get something other than that, they think people are being rude, mean or generally unsupportive. Most of the perception of "meanness" is in the reader of these things and the interpretation, if you ask me.
This is very true...0 -
Unfortunately, some people make themselves feel better when they put others down..............1
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I guess from my perspective, at least half the time people think people in the forums are being "mean" those people are actually being constructive. All too often, people think that support = unwavering positive feedback and approval, and when they get something other than that, they think people are being rude, mean or generally unsupportive. Most of the perception of "meanness" is in the reader of these things and the interpretation, if you ask me.
Completely agreed. I am sorry but difference of opinion doesn't equate being mean. And I am not a sugar coater, I will tell you exactly how I see it. I am not mean about it but people want to be coddled and hearing the truth sometimes makes them think I am a *kitten*. No, you just don't want to hear the honest truth. You want to be told what you already have decided in your head.1 -
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cwolfman13 wrote: »In 5 years here, I've also noticed that a lot of people don't get sarcasm and for whatever reason think everything is "serious business"...
Some people don't like sarcasm. That's what a friend list can be for. Observing the characters in the main forums and choosing the non sarcastic people to send friend requests to. Personally I love carefully crafted sarcasm, and also goofballism, but it's not for everyone. Since only a tiny percentage of MFP's membership actively posts on the forums, I suspect most people actually don't like sarcasm. These are bitter, jaded, cynical rooms but worth navigating cautiously for the funna when it does happen.
This said, try some sarcasm out on a Swede and see how it goes.. lol0 -
@RacerX_14 wrote: »Unfortunately, some people make themselves feel better when they put others down..............
Your nipples are uneven.1 -
I have, in the past, gotten to know a few people from here, very well. There was one in particular that I had many personal conversations with. I'm pretty sure he's not here ... at the moment anyway. He was very sarcastic and quite a know-it-all in the forums and was banned several times. But irl he was nothing like that. He was kind and considerate and rather affectionate and not sarcastic at all. So I would tend to agree that most personalities here aren't the same as out there in the newsfeed or in real life.
The sarcasm, most of the time, is funny and I very much appreciate the witty intellectuals who are fluent in it. It quite often lights up a rather dull day. But it takes a while for some, including myself, to get used to the sarcasm and not take it personally. And so in that perspective, I don't think it's fair to call someone who hasn't quite realised that it's all in jest, a 'sensitivity Sally.' IMHO, of course!6 -
SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »@RacerX_14 wrote: »Unfortunately, some people make themselves feel better when they put others down..............
Your nipples are uneven.
Dammit you noticed!0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »In 5 years here, I've also noticed that a lot of people don't get sarcasm and for whatever reason think everything is "serious business"...
Some people don't like sarcasm. That's what a friend list can be for. Observing the characters in the main forums and choosing the non sarcastic people to send friend requests to. Personally I love carefully crafted sarcasm, and also goofballism, but it's not for everyone. Since only a tiny percentage of MFP's membership actively posts on the forums, I suspect most people actually don't like sarcasm. These are bitter, jaded, cynical rooms but worth navigating cautiously for the funna when it does happen.
Goofballism is a great word. That is all.
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Birds of a feather flock together . Some just like to feed off the negative energy and misery .2
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Do any of you ever wonder how you come across to everyone else? I do. I thought about making a ‘Insightful this if you secretly hate me’ post here but then everyone would insightful it and I wouldn’t know if it was everyone being sarcastic or if everyone was using the opportunity to let me know how much I suck at life, among other things. And then I would cry and cry. There’s no good outcome, except that my eyes turn green when I cry and that’s cool.8
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caco_ethes wrote: »Do any of you ever wonder how you come across to everyone else? I do. I thought about making a ‘Insightful this if you secretly hate me’ post here but then everyone would insightful it and I wouldn’t know if it was everyone being sarcastic or if everyone was using the opportunity to let me know how much I suck at life, among other things. And then I would cry and cry. There’s no good outcome, except that my eyes turn green when I cry and that’s cool.
Not to everyone else but to certain people, yes. However wondering and actually giving AF are two different things. Although I'd like to be well liked, I don't think that's the case and that's okay by me. 2 -
A lot of it depends on what MFP stands for to you:
MFP
= My Fitness Pal
= My Flirting Place
= My Food Porn
= My Feverish Passive-Aggression
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Just_J_Now wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »Do any of you ever wonder how you come across to everyone else? I do. I thought about making a ‘Insightful this if you secretly hate me’ post here but then everyone would insightful it and I wouldn’t know if it was everyone being sarcastic or if everyone was using the opportunity to let me know how much I suck at life, among other things. And then I would cry and cry. There’s no good outcome, except that my eyes turn green when I cry and that’s cool.
Not to everyone else but to certain people, yes. However wondering and actually giving AF are two different things. Although I'd like to be well liked, I don't think that's the case and that's okay by me.
See that’s interesting because I view you as one of the more well-liked people around here.1 -
caco_ethes wrote: »Just_J_Now wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »Do any of you ever wonder how you come across to everyone else? I do. I thought about making a ‘Insightful this if you secretly hate me’ post here but then everyone would insightful it and I wouldn’t know if it was everyone being sarcastic or if everyone was using the opportunity to let me know how much I suck at life, among other things. And then I would cry and cry. There’s no good outcome, except that my eyes turn green when I cry and that’s cool.
Not to everyone else but to certain people, yes. However wondering and actually giving AF are two different things. Although I'd like to be well liked, I don't think that's the case and that's okay by me.
See that’s interesting because I view you as one of the more well-liked people around here.
Aww...really? You have awesome views. :laugh: No seriously though, that means a lot coming from you. I think you're very well liked around these parts as well.1 -
caco_ethes wrote: »Do any of you ever wonder how you come across to everyone else? I do. I thought about making a ‘Insightful this if you secretly hate me’ post here but then everyone would insightful it and I wouldn’t know if it was everyone being sarcastic or if everyone was using the opportunity to let me know how much I suck at life, among other things. And then I would cry and cry. There’s no good outcome, except that my eyes turn green when I cry and that’s cool.
I'm pretty sure I understand how I come across. I use it to my advantage when possible. For example, if I seem to be attracting people I do not want to attract I will intentionally hit the Go-Go Gadget people repellent. When I notice I am coming off as rude or generally unpleasant unnecessarily because my attitude is suffering from something that has nothing to do with the people on the receiving end, I check-out of the internet for the day to spare the masses. Unless I am enjoying the torture, than I'll stick around and keep up the punishment.0 -
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Just_J_Now wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »Just_J_Now wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »Do any of you ever wonder how you come across to everyone else? I do. I thought about making a ‘Insightful this if you secretly hate me’ post here but then everyone would insightful it and I wouldn’t know if it was everyone being sarcastic or if everyone was using the opportunity to let me know how much I suck at life, among other things. And then I would cry and cry. There’s no good outcome, except that my eyes turn green when I cry and that’s cool.
Not to everyone else but to certain people, yes. However wondering and actually giving AF are two different things. Although I'd like to be well liked, I don't think that's the case and that's okay by me.
See that’s interesting because I view you as one of the more well-liked people around here.
Aww...really? You have awesome views. :laugh: No seriously though, that means a lot coming from you. I think you're very well liked around these parts as well.
Maybe we all just think we're hated :laugh:
Unless I really am. Then, whatever.5 -
HealthyAshes88888 wrote: »Just_J_Now wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »Just_J_Now wrote: »caco_ethes wrote: »Do any of you ever wonder how you come across to everyone else? I do. I thought about making a ‘Insightful this if you secretly hate me’ post here but then everyone would insightful it and I wouldn’t know if it was everyone being sarcastic or if everyone was using the opportunity to let me know how much I suck at life, among other things. And then I would cry and cry. There’s no good outcome, except that my eyes turn green when I cry and that’s cool.
Not to everyone else but to certain people, yes. However wondering and actually giving AF are two different things. Although I'd like to be well liked, I don't think that's the case and that's okay by me.
See that’s interesting because I view you as one of the more well-liked people around here.
Aww...really? You have awesome views. :laugh: No seriously though, that means a lot coming from you. I think you're very well liked around these parts as well.
Maybe we all just think we're hated :laugh:
Unless I really am. Then, whatever.
I think this is part of it actually, that people THINK they are hated or THINK that they are being attacked. This is a website full of people who don't feel fantastic about themselves and came here for help (not every person, but a large majority). So many of us are already self conscious or paranoid that people are looking at us and laughing or judging us based on our bodies/looks that it can carry over and make you think that people here are picking on you or singling you out or their posts are about you. It doesn't make it true.
omg you're so right too 0 -
danyeljking wrote: »Has anyone noticed some of the general demeanor here on MFP is very negative and a bit intimidating? I've been using MFP for years off and on and the majority of what I see in the general diet help and nutrition forums are users who seem to be rolling their eyes while typing their responses. Thought the golden rule applied online too. Thoughts on this?
I have not noticed much of a change in posting behavior on MFP in the last 2-3 years.
I think most people are trying to be helpful and supportive and some people are very blunt about it.
They seem to appreciate directness so the golden rule seems to apply if by golden rule you mean treat others as you would want to be treated. I don't see those people starting threads complaining about how other people post very often.
If people are actually breaking rules then report them.
There are many health and fitness message boards. If you don't like the style of this communit you do not need to take part.
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I have, in the past, gotten to know a few people from here, very well. There was one in particular that I had many personal conversations with. I'm pretty sure he's not here ... at the moment anyway. He was very sarcastic and quite a know-it-all in the forums and was banned several times. But irl he was nothing like that. He was kind and considerate and rather affectionate and not sarcastic at all. So I would tend to agree that most personalities here aren't the same as out there in the newsfeed or in real life.
The sarcasm, most of the time, is funny and I very much appreciate the witty intellectuals who are fluent in it. It quite often lights up a rather dull day. But it takes a while for some, including myself, to get used to the sarcasm and not take it personally. And so in that perspective, I don't think it's fair to call someone who hasn't quite realised that it's all in jest, a 'sensitivity Sally.' IMHO, of course!
Great thoughts.
Internet communications with strangers tends to be closer to what the parties are actually thinking rather than thinking one thing and verbalizing some filtered/watered down version of that message. This candidness can range from being refreshing to mortifying, depending upon your tolerance for bluntness and the context of the discussion.1 -
I have not noticed much of a change in posting behavior on MFP in the last 2-3 years.
I think most people are trying to be helpful and supportive and some people are very blunt about it.
They seem to appreciate directness so the golden rule seems to apply if by golden rule you mean treat others as you would want to be treated. I don't see those people starting threads complaining about how other people post very often.
If people are actually breaking rules then report them.
There are many health and fitness message boards. If you don't like the style of this communit you do not need to take part.
I do know about other communities and I am a part of them. Thank you for your advice.0
This discussion has been closed.
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