So disheartened

I just need to vent and get this out before I go to sleep this morning.

I'm frustrated with my lack of progress. I've slowly gained back all the weight I lost over the past 4 years. I'm at the heaviest I've ever been - 221 lbs. And over the past several months when I've really dug down and really monitored my calories and exercise, I've only lost and gained the same 3-5 lbs. I'm not trying to over restrict my calorie intake, most days it's a struggle for me to eat more than 1200 in a day. I'm working with a personal trainer twice a week and have been for over a year now. I'm now adding cardio and lap swimming on some of my off days to bolster my activity level. And still. Nothing to show for it on the scale. I only weigh in once a week at a weight loss support group. I'm just at a loss. I'm so upset with myself for gaining all the weight back and now when I'm really really trying to do something about it, nothing's coming from it. I don't want to give up. I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to hate myself anymore than I already do. I'm tired off not seeing any progress for all I've been doing. I'm just at a loss.

Sorry for the post. I just needed to get this out there in the open to be more honest with myself.
«1

Replies

  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,751 Member
    When you say you've really monitored your calories, how have you been doing this? Do you use a food scale for solids and measure all liquids? Or are you guesstimating/scanning/measuring everything?
  • shira324
    shira324 Posts: 156 Member
    Can you make your diary public so we can help you?

    You can't out-exercise a poor diet. You have to eat fewer calories than you burn in order to lose weight. You won't know if you're eating at a deficit unless you're carefully weighing/measuring and logging ALL your food.

    If you are logging everything (and you're sure about the correct calorie counts & measurements), and still not losing weight, maybe you need to consult a doctor. There can be medical reasons why your body retains weight.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,532 Member
    This right- you can hardly manage to consume 1200 with an aggressive exercise program?

    If you don't have a medical issue, you're eating too much. Makes me wonder if you are crunching the numbers right. Are you doing WW?
  • FitGamerSmoak
    FitGamerSmoak Posts: 224 Member
    If you've been doing what you say, at 1200 calories and working out you should see results. But then again if you don't have the energy to put enough effort out there you might not be getting the results you want.

    How are you measuring your food? Are you counting every morsel that enters your body? Are you eating back exercise calories? Etc.
  • sereynolds10
    sereynolds10 Posts: 8 Member
    edited October 2017
    I measure out what I eat with measuring cups and/or scales. I guess that only thing that's hard or I haven't thought of is weighing fruit or veggies - in that regard, I am guessing some of the time (I measure out lettuce and most veggies I've cut up). I haven't noticed any changes in clothes. And as for me struggling to eat, I have no appetite most days. That's what I mean by having difficulty getting to 1200 calories. I generally do not eat the extra calories that I burn off with exercise. All my recipes come from a blog (Skinnytaste) and I import the recipes and alter them as I need to (with changes to ingredients or what not). So, I'll be more diligent with weighing and measuring fruits and vege
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I measure out what I eat with measuring cups and/or scales. I guess that only thing that's hard or I haven't thought of is weighing fruit or veggies - in that regard, I am guessing some of the time (I measure out lettuce and most veggies I've cut up). I haven't noticed any changes in clothes. And as for me struggling to eat, I have no appetite most days. That's what I mean by having difficulty getting to 1200 calories. I generally do not eat the extra calories that I burn off with exercise. All my recipes come from a blog (Skinnytaste) and I import the recipes and alter them as I need to (with changes to ingredients or what not). So, I'll be more diligent with weighing and measuring fruits and vege

    can you open your diary?
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I measure out what I eat with measuring cups and/or scales. I guess that only thing that's hard or I haven't thought of is weighing fruit or veggies - in that regard, I am guessing some of the time (I measure out lettuce and most veggies I've cut up). I haven't noticed any changes in clothes. And as for me struggling to eat, I have no appetite most days. That's what I mean by having difficulty getting to 1200 calories. I generally do not eat the extra calories that I burn off with exercise. All my recipes come from a blog (Skinnytaste) and I import the recipes and alter them as I need to (with changes to ingredients or what not). So, I'll be more diligent with weighing and measuring fruits and vege

    Have you been to the doctor lately? Our usually advice is to tighten up logging. However, your lack of appetite may possibly be a symptom of another problem.
  • whosshe
    whosshe Posts: 597 Member
    Are you eating the right foods? Maybe heavy carbs foods even if within/under your total calories? Just things to look at.

    why would that matter?

    Retaining water maybe? But I can't see it lasting for several months.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Are you eating the right foods? Maybe heavy carbs foods even if within/under your total calories? Just things to look at.

    why would that matter?

    Retaining water maybe? But I can't see it lasting for several months.

    :huh: i dont think so.
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    It is almost like they want the woo to be true...
  • tuolon
    tuolon Posts: 107 Member
    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10608660/found-a-video-that-really-motivated-me-to-do-better-and-just-wanted-to-share#latest

    Here is a link to a really good video by a member from my fitness pal. I bumped the discusion. It is a video on youtube that is called "counting calories with a ballerina" by munchies.
    The girl in the video exercises and eats some of her calories back from exercising. And still loses weight. She only needs to deprive herself of 250 calories a day to lose 1/2 a week. Personnally, i didn't start losing weight until i started eating back some of my exercise calories. I was starving myself and my body held onto my calories. Maybe that might be the problem. I don't know, i can only give you my personnal experience.
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,532 Member
    You don't have weigh or measure lettuce. Something does add up. Have you crunched the numbers on the recipes?
  • sereynolds10
    sereynolds10 Posts: 8 Member
    I opened up my journal. Have at it. I think an obvious thing is I might be not eating enough fruits and vege. Tuesdays are my free days - most of the time I don't record this days. I don't think I go overboard, but that could also be it. But I don't want to constrict myself too much or I might go crazy and binge. And I know I've only recorded in MFP for the last couple of weeks. Before that, I was recording elsewhere, but eating about the same
  • ladyhusker39
    ladyhusker39 Posts: 1,406 Member
    edited October 2017
    The good news might also seem like bad news to you, but you're eating considerably more than you think. You need to use a food scale and start measuring your solid food in grams. You have a lot of very rough guestimates of weights/portion sizes. Tighten that up and you'll start to see results.
  • ladyhusker39
    ladyhusker39 Posts: 1,406 Member
    It takes a little practice to get the hang of how to accurately weigh your food, but keep at it and you'll get better.

    Something else you could experiment with if you don't want to be so precise is to cut out some of your snacking. Like those cookies for example or something else that's coming in around 200-300 calories and see how/if that moves the scale. If not, you could cut something else and see how that works. It's not as pinpoint accurate as weighing/measuring, but it can be effective for quite a while until you get closer to goal and really need to tighten up.

    I've done this for the first 35 lbs and it's worked well because I just had so darn much to work with. Now that I'm getting closer to goal it's getting harder to do this way, but it could give you some good results for a while to get you going and keep you motivated.

    Just a thought.
  • I'm right there with you. I'm at six weeks of tracking, no weight lose, no waist change. I'm hoping it's the muscle weighs more than fat thing. And time of month messes with weight up and down alot too. If you are feeling in better shape, you have made progress.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,128 Member
    edited October 2017
    I'm right there with you. I'm at six weeks of tracking, no weight lose, no waist change. I'm hoping it's the muscle weighs more than fat thing. And time of month messes with weight up and down alot too. If you are feeling in better shape, you have made progress.

    If you're in a deficit, there is not a "muscle weighs more than fat thing" a female who has been in a deficit for 6 weeks wouldn't not be gaining enough (if any) muscle to see it affect the scale negatively. You're either retaining water and/or eating more/burning less than you think.

    A calorie surplus is needed to gain muscle, unless you're eating a lot of protein, lifting heavy and got some newb gains, which still likely wouldn't be weighing more than fat lost in a moderate deficit.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,128 Member
    Looking at your diary, few points
    • nothing appears to be weighed
    • Things like "Homemade - Fried Chicken Wings" is this your own recipe? If not you have no idea what the nutritional information is and if it's correct
    • Your non-logging days combined with above issues can easily wipe out a deficit

    Get a food scale, build your own recipes if you're not already and log everything.
  • This content has been removed.