No Honor in Cheating - Cheat Days and the Wrong Mindset

I totally agree with you. Great post!

Love your post....I totally agree with EVERYTHING you said

Eh, I agree with you on some points, and not on others. First, I do agree that you shouldn't throw away an entire day. That is one of my big mistakes.....I used to eat bad in a day and continue eating bad all day long. I figured, I've already blown it at this point, why not continue? But I found myself eating just for the sake of eating. I often wasn't even enjoying it anymore at the time, and I certainly didn't enjoy it later when I didn't feel good, or days later when the scale revealed a gain or I had stayed the same when I had worked hard every other day for a loss. I still mess up sometimes, but now I try to eat healthy all day, and then have a cheat meal, not a cheat day.

However, I do think we need to allow ourselves to be realistic. Setting unrealistic goals is the best and fastest way to set ourselves up for failure in my opinion. I will be honest, I LOVE pepsi, taco bell, and just plain eating out in general whether it be healthy or bad food. Yes a part of me sees it as entertainment, but the other part of me just loves the taste, the convenience, etc.

If my lifestyle change were just for a set period of time, say 90 days, then I would totally view these as cheat days. If I have committed to a healthy lifestyle for 90 days, there is virtually no reason I cannot stick to it, and not doing so would be cheating. But you said it yourself, it's a lifestyle change, meaning it has to be a change we can live with for the rest of our lives. I don't like being fat, but I also do not like the idea of giving up the favorite foods for the rest of my life. I don't like the idea of watching my friends and family happily eating and enjoying themselves at get togethers and holidays, while I am scribbling down every bite I put into my mouth and then cutting myself off halfway through the day because I have reached my limit.

I don't want to decline invites to go out to eat because they are eating at a restaurant that doesn't have anything I can get without feel like I am starving an hour later. Sure, eat well on some holidays? Turn down some invites to go out? I can do that. Turn them down for the rest of my life? No.

It's not all or nothing in my opinion, you have a bad day, you start new tomorrow and get back on the horse. I don't have to chose between eating bad and being fat.....and eating well and being thin. I can work toward my goal, and even reach my goal all the while enjoying the things I enjoy. It's all about moderation. Besides, you don't have to do it every Friday in order for it to be a cheat day/meal. You kind of contradicted yourself when you said "If I am eating healthy 98% of the time, it isn’t going to kill me to have a slice of pizza on Friday night with a nice cold 90 minute IPA. I just can’t do it every other night or even every Friday."

That's exactly what a cheat meal is all about. It's not going to kill you, and it's something you really enjoy.

Honestly, disagree. Now, I'm not saying that stuffing your face with everything in the fridge is ok (the way I have been doing lately...ugh). But, it's ok to indulge now and again. It's ok to go over now and again. It's, as was said, a lifestyle change, and attempting to adhere to that rigid a lifestyle without the ability to give myself, every now and again, a freaking break? No thanks. I make healthy choices when I can (please don't take the last 2 weeks as typical, normally I'm pretty good, it's just been a rough 2 weeks). But I'm going to be honest. When I am dying for a cheeseburger, or a glass of wine, or a bowl of mac and cheese? Yeah, I'm going to have it, and I'm better off for it. Indulging in a little bit when I need to helps prevent me from (again, ignore the last 2 weeks) overdoing my indulging later on. You shouldn't live to eat, but you should enjoy every bite you put in your mouth. Some days, I'd rather enjoy 10 bites of mac and cheese than 40 bites of salad. And you know what, that's ok. I don't believe in all out deprival, ever. For a day or two, sure, be good. But don't punish yourself for enjoying things once in awhile. That's what cheat days are for. Not for every day, but for those days when a salad just isn't going to cut it, or a date night at your favorite restaurant, or a night out with the girls (or guys). This is a lifestyle change. Your diet (and by diet I mean eating habits) shouldn't stop you from enjoying your life, or your food.

Thanks for blog. I have bookmarked it, you make great points.

Honestly, I was ready to disagree whole heartedly when I read the title here...but once I read the blog, I have to admit I do agree. I no longer look at food as a reward. The "I've been good all week and deserve this fatty, high calorie yummy chocolate cake" attitude I used to have is gone! Has been for a while too. I do make room in my calories for treats, because I enjoy them. But in moderation. This week I've had a few more than usual, and I do still have bad days where I come close to going on a binge again. But, I'm getting better. And I've noticed that I'm not even wanting those foods anymore. I do have the occasional planned "cheat" meal, but I guess I need to stop calling it a "cheat". I'm not cheating, I'm having 1 indulgence every now and then, and it is most definitely NOT a reward for anything. I log everything, every day, even if it's not the best choices and isn't exactly good for me. Thank you for the post, I enjoyed reading it and love your philosophy!

Hmm....I don't know.

While I was losing weight, I would typically have about one meal a week you might call a "cheat" meal. Usually it was a dinner out but not always. It worked as a calorie spike for me (if I was typically at 1200-1400 per day, this day might be over 2000) which kept me from plateauing, I think.

Also, if I wanted anything during the week that would actively interrupt my weight loss (let's say, a couple of Pop Tarts), I'd think, "No, not now, but if I'm still craving them on Saturday I'll eat them for my cheat meal." And sometimes I was still wanting them on Saturday, so I'd eat them, but sometimes I wasn't.

And I'm sorry, but food is a reward for me. Food is delicious. I love food. It's awesome. A glass of wine after a rough day makes me feel good. I look forward to a wonderful dessert from a good restaurant.

Now that I'm maintaining, I don't have cheat meals any more, but that's because it's all part of my lifestyle now and I have a lot more treats and snacks like that on a regular basis, since I'm eating more calories. But I guess I always had a sort of cheat day, and it worked well for me.

Oh, and I don't log calories anymore, but I always logged every single one when I was dieting, even those cheat meals.

I was with you right until you advocate staying away from foods that tempt you to binge. That's what you would do if you were on a diet. If you're truly making a lifestyle change, you should be learning how to incorporate food like that into your diet in a moderated healthy fashion. Trying to give up any favorite food completely is only going to lead to failure for 90% of people.

I kind of agree.

I also think that there is a difference between using food as a reward and actually wanting to eat that 'slice of cake'. If you have successfully overhauled your lifestyle then you should still be able to occasionally have anything you want?

The problem of course is when people cannot moderate their intake of certain foods or when they cannot differentiate between wanting something because they want it versus wanting to eat something to reward themself or make themself feel better.

I think the reason the whole moderation thing works (IMO) is that the longer you are on this path the more you begin to understand what you are putting into your body, you begin to learn about food and you begin to make healthy choices.

6 months ago I thought nothing about having an evening meal that was 1000 calories - now I only over-indulge to that extent very rarely. I know and I consciously choose to eat healthy most of the time BUT I also know nothing is out of bounds should I really want it... The whole point being nowadays I usually don't want to eat the crap - give me a big bowl of salad over a plate of fries.

Eh, I agree with you on some points, and not on others. First, I do agree that you shouldn't throw away an entire day. That is one of my big mistakes.....I used to eat bad in a day and continue eating bad all day long. I figured, I've already blown it at this point, why not continue? But I found myself eating just for the sake of eating. I often wasn't even enjoying it anymore at the time, and I certainly didn't enjoy it later when I didn't feel good, or days later when the scale revealed a gain or I had stayed the same when I had worked hard every other day for a loss. I still mess up sometimes, but now I try to eat healthy all day, and then have a cheat meal, not a cheat day.

However, I do think we need to allow ourselves to be realistic. Setting unrealistic goals is the best and fastest way to set ourselves up for failure in my opinion. I will be honest, I LOVE pepsi, taco bell, and just plain eating out in general whether it be healthy or bad food. Yes a part of me sees it as entertainment, but the other part of me just loves the taste, the convenience, etc.

If my lifestyle change were just for a set period of time, say 90 days, then I would totally view these as cheat days. If I have committed to a healthy lifestyle for 90 days, there is virtually no reason I cannot stick to it, and not doing so would be cheating. But you said it yourself, it's a lifestyle change, meaning it has to be a change we can live with for the rest of our lives. I don't like being fat, but I also do not like the idea of giving up the favorite foods for the rest of my life. I don't like the idea of watching my friends and family happily eating and enjoying themselves at get togethers and holidays, while I am scribbling down every bite I put into my mouth and then cutting myself off halfway through the day because I have reached my limit.

I don't want to decline invites to go out to eat because they are eating at a restaurant that doesn't have anything I can get without feel like I am starving an hour later. Sure, eat well on some holidays? Turn down some invites to go out? I can do that. Turn them down for the rest of my life? No.

It's not all or nothing in my opinion, you have a bad day, you start new tomorrow and get back on the horse. I don't have to chose between eating bad and being fat.....and eating well and being thin. I can work toward my goal, and even reach my goal all the while enjoying the things I enjoy. It's all about moderation. Besides, you don't have to do it every Friday in order for it to be a cheat day/meal. You kind of contradicted yourself when you said "If I am eating healthy 98% of the time, it isn’t going to kill me to have a slice of pizza on Friday night with a nice cold 90 minute IPA. I just can’t do it every other night or even every Friday."

That's exactly what a cheat meal is all about. It's not going to kill you, and it's something you really enjoy.

*Stands up and claps....THIS!*

I stopped reading at the god stuff,but what I can say is I cheat or better yet I still pretty much eat what I want in moderation.Obviously one look at my ticker and you can see its worked out pretty good for me.At my last check up everything looks AMAZING and I am as healthy as can be.SO im just going to look at it as if its not broke why fix it

to be fair i went back and read the rest of it,I still stick by what I say.What works for you works for you,but I have already found what works for me and im very happy with my weightloss and progress

I agree! I incorporate everything I love into my calories each day. If I want ice cream, I have it.. If I want chocolate, I have it. I just make sure I fit it in my daily calories. Once a month, we go to Chinese buffet.. That is the only meal I do NOT log and the only meal I do NOT pay attention to. I eat what I want there.. I don't feel bad afterwards.. Ive lost 50lb doing it this way. It may not work for some but it works for me.

I agree to an extent, but then stop agreeing when you relate a cheat food as a reward. I think it's more so about control. It's about saying, "Look at me, I have this new mind frame and can have this one brownie but not go crazy."

You talk about harboring a new mindset, well that should include the ability to have one or two treats and stop at that. Otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for a massive failure down the road. Forbidding yourself from certain foods is walking a tightrope. I whole-heartedly believe in putting into your body healthy, nutritious foods in order to live a healthy, nutritious life. Our bodies are our longest place of residence. I don't keep my house a disaster so I'm certainly not about to keep my body as a wasteland either.

However, my house also has that one bit of stationary that is definitely not conducive to the rest of the decor. It's something that aids a part of me and soothes me. That's what a "cheat" food is. It's the ability to aid a part within yourself, relish in its delectability, and then get orderly again.

I commend you for the kind of dedication you've put into this weight-loss quest, however I must express my uncertainty with the kind of mindset that views "cheat" food as destructive to the entire path. When you're driving in your car and hit a speed bump, I'm pretty certain it doesn't stop you from getting to your destination. It's just simply placed there as a reminder for you to slow down and enjoy life.

I do agree that cheat days are not a good way to approach food consumption when you are on a weight loss journey. Call them what you will, but "cheat meals" are a fact of life and I don't think if you have those that you cannot also be prioritizing weight loss.

My "diet", what I'm eating today to be healthy and lose my weight, will not be a "diet" but just my everyday routine once I reach goal. Hence the reason they call it a life style. I have to be in that mindset or else I'll just put the weight back on once I reach my goal. However, in life you're going to have meals or events where you over indulge. Whether it's at a wedding or a party or just that craving for a food you haven't had in a long time. Understanding that you can't eat like that at every meal or every day and being able to walk away and get back to eating right and health without feeling discouraged goes a long way towards keeping you on track and healthy.

If I did not accept "cheat meals" as a part of my diet life style I would not have continued after the first month and a half or so on MFP. Summer hit, the boys were out of school, and we went on several vacations. By allowing "cheat meals" as a life style I maintained, didn't gain back any weight, and am progressing downward once again.

Well written article and makes you think. Thanks!

Eh, I agree with you on some points, and not on others. First, I do agree that you shouldn't throw away an entire day. That is one of my big mistakes.....I used to eat bad in a day and continue eating bad all day long. I figured, I've already blown it at this point, why not continue? But I found myself eating just for the sake of eating. I often wasn't even enjoying it anymore at the time, and I certainly didn't enjoy it later when I didn't feel good, or days later when the scale revealed a gain or I had stayed the same when I had worked hard every other day for a loss. I still mess up sometimes, but now I try to eat healthy all day, and then have a cheat meal, not a cheat day.

However, I do think we need to allow ourselves to be realistic. Setting unrealistic goals is the best and fastest way to set ourselves up for failure in my opinion. I will be honest, I LOVE pepsi, taco bell, and just plain eating out in general whether it be healthy or bad food. Yes a part of me sees it as entertainment, but the other part of me just loves the taste, the convenience, etc.

If my lifestyle change were just for a set period of time, say 90 days, then I would totally view these as cheat days. If I have committed to a healthy lifestyle for 90 days, there is virtually no reason I cannot stick to it, and not doing so would be cheating. But you said it yourself, it's a lifestyle change, meaning it has to be a change we can live with for the rest of our lives. I don't like being fat, but I also do not like the idea of giving up the favorite foods for the rest of my life. I don't like the idea of watching my friends and family happily eating and enjoying themselves at get togethers and holidays, while I am scribbling down every bite I put into my mouth and then cutting myself off halfway through the day because I have reached my limit.

I don't want to decline invites to go out to eat because they are eating at a restaurant that doesn't have anything I can get without feel like I am starving an hour later. Sure, eat well on some holidays? Turn down some invites to go out? I can do that. Turn them down for the rest of my life? No.

It's not all or nothing in my opinion, you have a bad day, you start new tomorrow and get back on the horse. I don't have to chose between eating bad and being fat.....and eating well and being thin. I can work toward my goal, and even reach my goal all the while enjoying the things I enjoy. It's all about moderation. Besides, you don't have to do it every Friday in order for it to be a cheat day/meal. You kind of contradicted yourself when you said "If I am eating healthy 98% of the time, it isn’t going to kill me to have a slice of pizza on Friday night with a nice cold 90 minute IPA. I just can’t do it every other night or even every Friday."

That's exactly what a cheat meal is all about. It's not going to kill you, and it's something you really enjoy.

*Stands up and claps....THIS!*

Absolutely!!

Food is a tool. I feel like for some cheating can actually be beneficial (e.g. http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/most_recent/in_defense_of_cheat_days), and there are recorded instances of people losing weight eating nothing but twinkies and other sugary delights.

Everything works, nothing works forever.

Argh, lost my entire response to you. Okay time to type again:

I read your blog and several comments below. Although I do find your blog was well written, I do not fully agree with your points.

I, myself, try not to see food as a reward. Yes this is a life style change for me but that does not mean I should give up all my favorite foods. Why not try to make your favorite foods healthier? For example, I like sloppy joes so I make them with ground turkey instead of beef. This is not a weekly meal or even a monthly meal but it's nice to know I can eat it without guilt. I also enjoy pizza. Why not make a pizza with pita bread, sauce, light cheese and turkey pepperoni or veggies? I refuse to give up my favorite foods because they are deemed "bad" or "off limits". You know why I'm overweight? It's not because I ate all those foods but it's because I ate all those foods without any moderation! I love chili cheese fries from a place near my house. We don't go very often so it's a treat when we do. We only get 1 order, because it's huge, and we share. But I also eat light all day before, I exercise before and after the meal (after the meal is usually a nice walk somewhere) plus I drink a lot of water. Because I know that I'm going to indulge in an extremely high calorie meal, I make adjustments to my daily intake so that I can enjoy. GUILT FREE! It is about moderation.

Thank you for your blog, I think it provides an excellent point of view. I cannot and will not cut out all foods that I'm told I shouldn't eat because 1. it makes me want them more to the point where I will over indulge and 2. this is a life style change. It is unrealistic for me to believe that I will never eat chili cheese fries or cheese burgers or pizza ever again.