Weight Loss and Dating

2»

Replies

  • Hodar
    Hodar Posts: 338 Member
    As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.

    When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
    1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.

    2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.

    But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
    1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
    2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
    3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".

    Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.
  • jamie78
    jamie78 Posts: 514 Member
    As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.

    When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
    1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.

    2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.

    But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
    1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
    2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
    3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".

    Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.

    I love that you say that... I cant remember the comedian that said Men have a nothing box in their brain and that is where you will find them 90% of the time! lol
  • jamie78
    jamie78 Posts: 514 Member
    As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.

    When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
    1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.

    2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.

    But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
    1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
    2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
    3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".

    Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.

    I love that you say that... I cant remember the comedian that said Men have a nothing box in their brain and that is where you will find them 90% of the time! lol

    Here is the link it is freaking funny!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjnLLw5BTmc
  • Sj20fame
    Sj20fame Posts: 205 Member
    As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.

    When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
    1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.

    2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.

    But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
    1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
    2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
    3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".

    Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.

    haha awesome!! Now this was a good post!
  • spackham
    spackham Posts: 252 Member
    I decide what I am going to eat before I go out after checking out the nutrition facts. Sometimes I can eat ALL of what I order or sometimes I will bag half even before I start eating unless I exercised like a professional athlete that day and need the calories. It was a good thing that you did all that walking and needed extra calories. I bet you ended up not being too far off until you hit the ice cream. The thing is... if you could have pre-chosen your food, you could probably have afforded the ice cream! But, for me, I would prefer the food (but not that outrageous salad) and just 2-3 bites of ice cream but I am married and we old married folk can do stuff like that cause my husband supports giving up 3 bites of his dessert so I don't order one of my own. If I am really wanting something naughty, I can usually fit it in by exercising really hard that day. I will work hard for food and treats. My slogan is "I eat whatever I want!" Of course, I work out hard for it and make sure I really want to eat it. Sometimes things are just not worth the calories so I tell myself, "I don't want that today."

    That's what I do!
  • tlahuiltzin
    tlahuiltzin Posts: 42 Member
    As a guy, we feel pretty much picked on. Yeah, it's worse with marriage - but I digress.

    When my date calls, and asks where we are eating; this does 2 things.
    1) I panic, because guys figure food is food - we may not have decided on any place special. We may not know where we are going, until we drive past the resturant 2 or 3 times.

    2) If I say "I'd thought we'd go to 'x'"; the fear is that she has some other place that SHE wants to go. Now, if I say "Thought the Cheesecake Factory sounded good; cause everyone loves cheesecake" - I feel I'm offering her a 'veto'.

    But, all in all, calling and asking is good for 3 reasons.
    1) Guys love it when their dates call them. It confirms that the date isn't being cancelled, and that she's as interested in the date as he is.
    2) Knowing she is planning her meal, means that I have successfully chosen a place she approves of.
    3) It opens a new line of questioning - "Ok, looking for low-calorie options .... um, how about going to 'y'".

    Communications is a GOOD thing. Us guys have no idea if you are naturally skinny - or are starving yourself. Generally, we don't care (at first). What guys are attracted to, is how a girl looks (initially), and secondary and more importantly is how we feel when we are around them. Guys are very simple, very basic creatures. If women could truly read a man's mind - they would be amazed how often our minds are utterly blank. We are like dogs - if we like something, we are not subtle about it.

    LOL!! Awesome. I want to keep you around for dude advice. :)
  • lclarkjr
    lclarkjr Posts: 359 Member
    Speaking as a dude, I have no problem with my date taking home a "doggy bag". So order something and then just plan on not finishing the entire thing and take it home for lunch the next day. As long as you don't get all anal-rententive about watching your calories (by this I mean don't make it the focal point of every conversation, don't complain about the calorie content of dishes, and don't let it suck the fun out of you), then I don't see any reason why you wouldn't be able to talk to your date about it. Just my opinion anyway.
  • caitmcwill
    caitmcwill Posts: 102
    oh i have definitely been there. however, this was by my ex husband. he decided i wasn't in shape and healthy enough...so he looked for someone else while we were still together. hows that for messed up. so now i am constantly looking at the amount of calories i consume because getting dumped by your husband can totally shatter your confidence. when i go out to eat i always look at the nutritional information prior, but if you can't just eat half of it. i know that it can be hard sometimes to only eat half when the meal is so amazing...especially at cheesecake factory, but think about whether or not you are really hungry or if you are eating because it is there in front of you. by the way i was looking at the nutritional information at cheesecake factory a few days ago and it was astounding. it looked like almost everything was above 700 calories... lame :(
  • babs24
    babs24 Posts: 13 Member
    I like this post for so many reasons. It's honestly so sweet, your date I mean. And I hope you have another and another and another great dates. I think a lot of people have been in those shoes. Secretly thinking, "Should I say I'm watching what I eat or just try to play it cool and order whatever but only eat a little. OR do I get the salad OR..." and we try to strategize so we're not compromising our health goals while at the same time not giving someone new the wrong idea about who we are. It's easy to be confident once we're sure of making decisions in our best interest, but what if we're in transition.. This is the longest I've stayed committed to my health - physically, mentally, and emotionally and I have to say it's an amazing change for me, but it's still a change. It still takes getting used to what's "normal" for me, even though I am now welcoming all these good habits. It's normal for me to now to drink a liter of water in the morning instead of eat a cinnamon roll, and it's normal for me to go running outside once a week, and to WANT to go to the gym on my lunch hour to get in a great weight training session, and only order 2 drinks and no dessert, etc. Countless little changes that I've made are permanent now, my standards for myself and how I live have changed. And that's that Lifestyle Change everyone talks about, wow, now I know what that means! Logging on to seek advice is just another tool you're using to get to where you want to be! Nothing will stand in your way. And who says YOU'RE not looking at your date's eating habits for someone who cares about what he eats too. You're amazing for putting yourself first and that will attract a lot of great people into your life. Cheers and have fun in love!
  • stephanielynn76
    stephanielynn76 Posts: 709 Member
    For your second date... if you haven't already made a decision on where you will go... I'd do some research in preparation. This way when he asks if you have any idea about where you'd like to eat you can say... "I hear the salmon is good at Chilis... how about we go there...?" or something to that effect.

    If you have truly made eating well part of your lifestyle then you will eventually have to make this known to him. If he is a good guy and genuinely likes you, he will be supportive in your quest for a healthy lifestyle!
  • fionarama
    fionarama Posts: 788 Member
    I kind of think you should ensure your new man works in with your lifestyle - find one that is into fitness and activity, so you can plan dates that involve a great walk in the outdoors with a picnic things like that.
    eating clean and simple is always best, try for Japanese (sushi and sashimi) or a steak house (steak and salad) simple food. but mainly eating out will slow your progress you can't really do it more than once a week, so try to think up dates that don't involve eating so much!
  • LindsayChick
    LindsayChick Posts: 129 Member
    I'm married but totally know what you mean, as I felt the same way when I was dating! I would order a piece of fish and only eat about 4 oz or the size of a deck of cards. That should keep you within 200 calories, then get steamed or sauteed veggies for your side! That's a reliable bet. Also, you could do the same w/ baked chicken (if skinless)! Good luck and have fun dating! ;)
  • MrLeeParker
    MrLeeParker Posts: 49
    As a guy, I have never been turned off by a woman who takes care of herself. Quite the opposite actually :)

    And remember, he asked you out. So it would take more than casually asking about calories to put him off.

    p.s. You have a beautiful smile. Just thought I'd say that.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Ya know what? Unless it's a surprise, the man should have no issue telling you his plans. Hell, I think that it's rude not to even ask someone where they might want to go, to just assume.

    If a man likes you, he's going to respect the fact that you're trying and taking care of yourself, so if he wants to know why you want to know, just tell him flat out what your goals are. It's a good test as well, because next time you go out, if he chooses another "decadent" place without asking first, you know that he either didn't listen, or doesn't care.

    I'm very open about this part of my life with everyone in my life. Anyone I've gone out with knows at least something about it.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories