We broke up because...
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            He said he was going to go get donuts. I waited all excited and he never came back0
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            Tricked me into losing a bet just for free drinks. 0 0
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            In trying to do something nice I brought donuts home and she didn't recognize me....had no clue who I was. Ended up shooting me in my pinky toe before I ran away....0
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            She got more excited over the box of Donuts I bought her than the sexy Boudoir photos I gave her0
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            she wouldn't feed my donut cravings0
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            Won't let me watch hockey because it was too violent0
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            Every time we watched hockey together she would bad mouth my beloved Blackhawks!!0
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            He got violent when his Blackhawks lost0
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            She mocked the Leafs. Granted I did too but I'm allowed to0
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            I mocked the Leafs....apparently I'm not allowed to 0 0
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            All he cared Bout was hockey and not my feelings0
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            He wouldn't let me stroke his beard0
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            She only wanted to stroke my beard...Noth...well you get the point!0
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            The only thing he wanted stroked was his ego 0 0
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            She insisted I brunch her hair like 152 strokes a nite. It was tiring0
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            Lol! She always had food on her mindAliNouveau wrote: »She insisted I brunch her hair like 152 strokes a nite. It was tiring
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            She never let me eat.0
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            She doesn't approve of my humor so I won't comment!  0 0
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            She didn't believe in the moon landing.0
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            She kept claiming that she had actually been to the moon.0
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            He went to jail for Mooning a cop0
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            She still pined for her jailed lover0
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            She stopped coming for the conjugal visits.0
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            He fell in love with Big Bubba in jail 0 0
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            She went to Prison for paying an Inmate to shank Big Bubba0
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            She was behind the whole Bubba shanking0
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            She was a one-upper. She'd have a better version of every one of my stories.1
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            Her stories always put me to sleep!1
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            She would belch like a trucker, and then look at me excitedly for approval.1
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            Her futch ovrns were lethal..I died 0 0
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