Lost confidence after being called out in front of class
alveenar
Posts: 4 Member
I am new here but thought I would attempt to join after reading how positive everyone is...
The last time I went to a fitness class is 2012 - 6 weeks ago I realized I was 40lbs overweight and completely out of shape. I really wanted to join the gym but have never been confident enough, so 6 weeks ago I started building my fitness at home, 3 weeks ago I felt confident enough to join the gym. I started to enjoy bodycombat and bodypump classes and although I am the least fit in the class I really was loving it and had great instructors and in 6 weeks I am down a dress size and feeling stronger.
Today I went to a body pump class whilst visiting a new city to try and keep up with my fitness - I went nervously into the class and set up, I told the instructor I am new to this class and relatively new to body bump she just said ok and continued talking to another member. During the class I couldn't keep up with everything and as other instructors have told me to do - I was missing out on a few reps and the instructor called me out in front of the class by whistling ( like I was a dog ) shouting 'hey' and said ' if you cant do this you shouldn't be here' a few other members laughed , others were shocked.
I left in tears because I had worked so hard to build up my confidence and felt so demoralized and embarrassed afterward. I did complain to the manager of the gym and he was great and told me this person has had multiple complaints already.
But for some reason I can't shake this - I don't want to go back to being so underconfident that I cant go back again to classes or the gym..:(
Thanks for reading
The last time I went to a fitness class is 2012 - 6 weeks ago I realized I was 40lbs overweight and completely out of shape. I really wanted to join the gym but have never been confident enough, so 6 weeks ago I started building my fitness at home, 3 weeks ago I felt confident enough to join the gym. I started to enjoy bodycombat and bodypump classes and although I am the least fit in the class I really was loving it and had great instructors and in 6 weeks I am down a dress size and feeling stronger.
Today I went to a body pump class whilst visiting a new city to try and keep up with my fitness - I went nervously into the class and set up, I told the instructor I am new to this class and relatively new to body bump she just said ok and continued talking to another member. During the class I couldn't keep up with everything and as other instructors have told me to do - I was missing out on a few reps and the instructor called me out in front of the class by whistling ( like I was a dog ) shouting 'hey' and said ' if you cant do this you shouldn't be here' a few other members laughed , others were shocked.
I left in tears because I had worked so hard to build up my confidence and felt so demoralized and embarrassed afterward. I did complain to the manager of the gym and he was great and told me this person has had multiple complaints already.
But for some reason I can't shake this - I don't want to go back to being so underconfident that I cant go back again to classes or the gym..:(
Thanks for reading
1
Replies
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That’s so rude.
Go back to the regular class when you can. Even mention it to your own instructor; they might have a perspective to share.
If you are really affected by the nasty instructor, email her gym and offer feedback on her ‘teaching’ style.
Good work on all your progress.14 -
Wow, what a horriffic @$$wipe! That was beyind f'ed up! I promise you, in *most* gyms the instrctors are not like that. Special group instructors are often paid based on the class sizes, and people who send away paying clients in tears, are people who don't get paid for very long.
There will always be people who think the best way to feel good about themselves is to make others afraid, and unhappy with themselves. *kitten* them. The majority of people aren't like that You said your regular gym has been a generally positive experiance. Focus on that. It will probably be difficult the first few days to get over it, but the more often you expose yourself to your normal place (uh...figuratively speaking, please don't wander around the gym physically exposing yourself, you would be arrested...) the easier it is for your brain to recover the sense of security you had before.
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Wow, what a horriffic @$$wipe! That was beyind f'ed up! I promise you, in *most* gyms the instrctors are not like that. Special group instructors are often paid based on the class sizes, and people who send away paying clients in tears, are people who don't get paid for very long.
There will always be people who think the best way to feel good about themselves is to make others afraid, and unhappy with themselves. *kitten* them. The majority of people aren't like that You said your regular gym has been a generally positive experiance. Focus on that. It will probably be difficult the first few days to get over it, but the more often you expose yourself to your normal place (uh...figuratively speaking, please don't wander around the gym physically exposing yourself, you would be arrested...) the easier it is for your brain to recover the sense of security you had before.
...
Thank you Lizery and Momepro - i already feel better just sharing and knowing that I am not being over sensitive and the bit you said Momepro about it taking time - that just really normalizes everything for me and helps me realize I can do this again. Thanks.
Its horrible when someone shocks you and shatters your wafer thin gym confidence - I hope this just makes me stronger.
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Wow! Totally uncalled for and inappropriate. I would have been fired on the spot for talking to someone like that when I was an instructor. Everyone should go at their own pace in a class. Showing up is half the battle. I am so sorry for your experience and I hope it doesn’t kill your joy or sense of accomplishment.4
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@alveenar You are not being overly sensitive, what an awful, demoralising thing to happen. It is not the norm to treat people like that in class. It will be hard to put it behind you but you must, you can't let one despicable excuse for a human rob you of the fun you were having. Complain loudly to that Gym, that person should not be employed.
When you get back to your regular gym tell them what happen... Im sure they'll make you feel comfortable again.
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So sorry to hear this has happened to you. That is horrible. I would feel exactly like you did.
Going by the names of those classes I am pretty sure we belong to the same company of gym. If I am correct it is a very big company and they need to know what kind of staff they have. Generally my experiences have been very positive there.
I suggest putting together a well worded, detailed email in the feedback section on their website.
This instructor should not be allowed to conduct themselves like that. It's so bad all around.
Best of luck in your fitness journey. Feel free to add me as a friend if you wish.3 -
You keep up the good work. It is something that you love and you will be better and better with time. The way the instructor treated you was very uncalled for. Stay with the instructors where you feel confident. Don't give up what you love. 1
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I'm so sorry this happened to you. Remember that the instructor wasn't born able to do it any more than you were, she had to learn and struggle in the beginning too. She had no right to treat you that way, and hopefully she will have a long time to think about and learn from her behavior soon when she is fired.
Stay strong, you are moving in the right direction.1 -
I can't believe you didn't smack the instructor. Do not let someone else deter you, to heck with them.3
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A jerk.
Use this. You deserve to realize your goals. The only justification needed is it's what you decided to do. If you got a passable workout out of the class, the class, and no class instructor served their purpose.
If you read this board, a couple of times per day you will find posts of people thrown for a loop by something someone said. Work on your program. Keep researching, experimenting and adjusting. With time you will learn the pinciples of weight loss and fitness as they apply to you. Pay others no mind. Whatever that fool was saying to you, it made sense to him somehow. He has his agenda, you've got yours.
Go about your business doing your best to be kind to people you encounter. How they act in response is irrelevant. People will try to mistreat you sometime. Fat, thin, fit, unfit has nothing to do with it. When gym times comes up next, suck it up and go do your best. It will be great.1 -
Wow im so overwhelmed by all the lovely, empowering and supportive responses! I am already feeling motivated again to get back to working out - while I am away from my home city I think I will work on keeping up my fitness at home - youtube videos or hikes outdoors and when I am back to home city/gym next week I am going to use this pain I felt as motivation to show myself I can do this and if I have overcome this once I can overcome this again! love to you all!7
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don't give up on something you like. she a rotten teacher who shouldn't be employed. i'm naturally clumsy I loved doing Zumba but I was never good at it. but you shouldn't let that instructor win because you only get better by going to class2
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"...had multiple complaints..." and that instructor is still teaching??? I'm glad you were only visiting that gym and never need to return. Neither the instructor nor the other students are what you deserve.0
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Sounds like the instructor is a JERK. I wish you all the best in ypur journey to get in shape.0
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As hard as it would be, you should try going back to that class and do it the way YOU do it. Show her that she can’t keep you down. If that a-hole says anything this time, just call her out in front of everyone. Say “why are you being rude and putting me down? Aren’t you supposed to be helping people instead of breaking their spirit?”6
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So sorry this happened to you. Hopefully your complaint will be the last straw and will prevent anyone else from experiencing this behavior. I do not have the guts to try a class at this point. Good for you for going and I hope this doesn’t ruin it for you. You deserve to feel confident and amazing.1
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As hard as it would be, you should try going back to that class and do it the way YOU do it. Show her that she can’t keep you down. If that a-hole says anything this time, just call her out in front of everyone. Say “why are you being rude and putting me down? Aren’t you supposed to be helping people instead of breaking their spirit?”
^^^ This is what needs to happen.
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If it were me I wouldn’t visit that gym again. Hang out with the positive instructors and make sure they know what a big difference they are making.
I’m getting old. I have no patience for mean people or bad drivers. I like my skin and I like my heart. Both deserve protection.4 -
That's ridiculous!
Don't let this jerk affect your goals and your determination. That's the only thing you should care about Not being able to keep up is a normal thing that happens when you start something new and the whole point is gradually building your abilities and skills up, learning the moves and what not. The instructor's comment says all about them, their ignorance and meanness and nothing about you. 0 -
Call the manager of the gym and call her/him out! Find out the name of regional manager and contact them. Go on yelp and call out on there. Don't skirt and hide....fight back and regain your dignity while dream of punching the douche in the face!3
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If she isn't fired yet and has multiple complaints, you need to contact someone who will fire her, like owner or like disboohead said "regional manager." If she did it to you, she will do it to other people. And the person that you complained to doesn't seem to care or else he would have fired her. I would get fired if I said something like that at my gym.
This is not right. I hope this doesn't deter you from going to the gym. If it happens again, have some sarcastic comments on your mind that you can say like, I maybe uncoordinated but at least I'm not rude or a *kitten* like you. I'm sure other people here have better sacastic comebacks for you. Good luck. I'm proud of you for going to the gym. Don't let anyone deter you from going to the gym.0 -
Definitely warrants a complaint.
Don't let this spoil your plans. That instructor is a nobody to you1 -
Tell him/her/them that you paid for the class and that you can do whatever you want.
As a student in university, I get a bit of this attitude from some instructors to. Sorry, but I'm the one handing over the money, therefore you give me what I want.
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Did you pay to attend this class? Did you demand or were offered a refund? The manager was not great if he did not actually do anything. I would pursue writing a letter to whoever owns that place or leaving negative reviews.
Sounds like you had positive experiences at your regular gym. Don't let one person keep you from doing something you like. No one starts something new and is perfect at it.2 -
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I've been doing bodycombat for over a year and I'm still pretty bad at it: I'm missing moves here and there, and using my left arm when I should be using my right...and I've never felt anything other than completely welcome and valued as a class member.
I *think* that Les Milles, which offers the bodypump/bodycombat classes, is an entirely separate franchise from whatever gym you attended. You might complain to Les Milles as well; they surely don't want instructors abusing attendees in this manner. I did not exaggerate and this is absolutely abusive.
Good luck on your fitness goals. I hope you're not stalled in your progress by this.0 -
This is a real bummer. Instructor is a real tool. Hang in there and let it go.1
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Thank you for the support everyone just to let you know ..... she got fired, I spoke to a regional manager and he took it very seriously.
I still feel shaken up but determined to go on and succeed no matter what.20 -
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I'm sorry this happened to you. You have proof from the manager that the problem is the instructor, NOT YOU. Don't let one person stop you from meeting your health and fitness goals. Unfortunately, we all meet people who demotivate us in one way or another, intentionally or accidentally. Don't give them the power to control your progress. Seek out others who will support you and listen to them. Post motivational quotes on your mirror or other place where you will see them daily. It's not always easy, but absolutely necessary.3
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