The "diet mentality" Just stop :)
merzback
Posts: 453 Member
I have a bit of a rant about what I hear and read when people are trying to lose weight. Get off the yoyo and stop the diet mentality. The diet industry has 5 percent success rate long term. When people go on certain diets, the diet takes the credit. But what about long term? When people no longer can restrict certain foods groups or just eating not enough calories per day, then you're on your own. Stop using the word "cheat" or saying you are "bad" because you had a piece of cake. Allow yourselves some flexibility so you can live a normal life, and stop using words that are negative. You are not a cheater or a bad person because you ate something unhealthy. You are human, and just move on from that moment because the semantics just keep you down. Candy, cake and unhealthy foods are unhealthy for EVERYONE but you do not hear a thin person say they were BAD. I know most people do not say they are "dieting" anymore because if you go ON a diet, eventually you go OFF. When you decide what to eat, ask yourself is it something that will make you feel better later both physically and emotionally. Many of us have to get off this mentality, because being healthy is mostly emotional based. I do not have all the answers, but I Get tired of people putting themselves down and allowing an industry to determine your happiness, your day and the scale is not the end all of your life, and neither is an indulgence occasionally. Ok thanks for listening to my rant. JMHO 
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If you don't me jumping on your rant what really gets me is how almost everyone is fixated on losing weight. Losing weight is fairly easy as evidenced by the countless people on this site who've done it multiple times.
What's fairly rare is to find people who are focused on being a healthy weight. So many people want to get to a lower weight, but they have little to no focus on staying there. They just seem to assume they'll figure it out once they get there, which clearly rarely happens as you said the long term success rate is extremely low.12 -
I look at it as if I have a disability. My internal thermostat for food is wonky, and as a result I need to track/limit my calories.
It won’t end, it is my health maintenance for life.
Your rant is excellent. Drives me nuts also to see all the fads, tricks, crazy diets, and the mentality of temporariness.6 -
jenmarrs429 wrote: »I look at it as if I have a disability. My internal thermostat for food is wonky, and as a result I need to track/limit my calories.
It won’t end, it is my health maintenance for life.
I love that last bit. It IS my health maintenance for life because I want to live a long healthy life!
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I plan to log my food and lift weights until I snuff it, basically, or am rendered incapable. There's lots of stuff in life that requires constant upkeep: chores, hygiene, eating and drinking. It's part of being an adult, and it just so happens that in a society that's more-or-less solved the problem of food availability and heavy manual labour, we have to put in the work on this stuff to stay in optimal health.9
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Thanks- yes it seems like many people on here are so stuck into that mentality- I need to l lose weight for my wedding, or school reunion- that the scale is all the care about. Many do not care about their long term health. My first diet years ago when I was 14, I thought once I lost all the weight, my life would do a 180. GUess what? It did not...3
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YES. This. It seems to come from a place of self-loathing, which is just so hard to break and I feel for everyone who's struggling with this but it's just not the answer. We have been taught for soooo long that our issues will be solved once we lose weight, and it's hard to work on anything else when society has told this lie so many times before.
I also think we've all internalized body bullying, and we've lost touch with how we feel because society won't let us be truly vulnerable. Breaking free of that is really really hard, and I hope all the "diet mindset" people will eventually do some introspection and really get to the bottom of their body issues.4 -
I think I get what you mean, and I agree that the "diet mentality" is oppressive, but if you are a word-person (like me)... Your diet is what you eat. Some people are on a prescribed diet for their health (high blood pressure, diabetes, kidney disease etc), but the term is mostly used as prescribed methods for weightloss. Dieting is, in itself, just consciously and deliberately changing how you eat (and maybe move), with the goal of losing weight. Prescribed weight loss diets as well as more or less structured, personally initiated efforts, can be more or less sensible, healthy and effective.
Some groups don't even like the concept of "dieting" - they advocate to just accept one's body and desires and let the fat melt off. Even though I usually lose weight on holiday, and some people almost stop eating when they're depressed, I don't think that is realistic for most of us. We are surrounded by temptation 24/7, and to be able to maintain good health, we have to implement certain boundaries. The tricky part is to make those boundaries firm enough, but not so tight that we suffocate. MFP is a platform for a wide range of goals - weight loss, maintenance, weight gain, fitness (or finding a partner, lol) - but based on the premise of logging and measuring, so the general consensus in here will by necessity be pro-"dieting".
The 5% success rate is a number gathered from a 1959 study, and perpetuated until it became "truth". In reality, nobody knows how many succeed from the various weightloss attempts, but we know that people are getting heavier. The diet industry has possibly a lower success rate. People even regain after losing weight sensibly and healthily.
I get triggered by expressions like "trying to lose weight". To lose weight, you just have to eat less. There is no trying, just doing. "Cheating", too, gets on my nerves. If you're cheating on your diet, you're not even on a diet.
No foods are "unhealthy". But no foods should be eaten in unlimited amounts. That goes for both broccoli and chocolate cake.6 -
So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?4
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
...A lifestyle change!
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Edited0
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
I call it..cutting, leaning, shredding, eating in a deficit, torture.. you know..
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
...A lifestyle change!
Yep, this!! I didn't start being successful until I stopped looking at it as a "weight loss" diet, but as a lifestyle instead. I've slowly built new habits and routines, and have been very happy with the way things have been going. Yes, I have made changes *to* my diet, but a side effect of my new habits is that I am losing weight.2 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
That's the thing... I'm not sure if it's possible to do that. Most overweight people who have been overweight for a long time, possible since childhood are just not able to do that. And I guess that it's okay as long as you are mindful about it. My partner and her family are all quite naturally slim. They do not obsess about food at all, they even are people who "forget" to eat lunch because they were busy and just did not feel hungry so they eat an apple or something at 2 P.M. If you tell me in the morning that all I will have for lunch is an apple, yeah I am obsessing about it and already dreading feeling hungry most of the day. Or when I am on the road and lunchtime is approaching and there is no restaurant or supermarket around I will start obsessing. I think it's a lifelong committment to being mindful about food intake, almost like being alcoholic. Once you have had it (the food obsession) it never goes away again.6 -
The obsession can go away, or become manageable. I grew up in an overeating family, and I have had to relearn a lot of things - how hunger and satiety and cravings feels (for me), how much these feelings come and go, how much food is appropriate for me, what kinds of foods work best for me, and why, to expect that I'll feel hungry several times per day and that's okay, to understand that my fear of getting hungry is part biological (we need to eat) but also part aquired (from parents and media/diet+food industry/previous dieting/restriction attempts).Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
That's the thing... I'm not sure if it's possible to do that. Most overweight people who have been overweight for a long time, possible since childhood are just not able to do that. And I guess that it's okay as long as you are mindful about it. My partner and her family are all quite naturally slim. They do not obsess about food at all, they even are people who "forget" to eat lunch because they were busy and just did not feel hungry so they eat an apple or something at 2 P.M. If you tell me in the morning that all I will have for lunch is an apple, yeah I am obsessing about it and already dreading feeling hungry most of the day. Or when I am on the road and lunchtime is approaching and there is no restaurant or supermarket around I will start obsessing. I think it's a lifelong committment to being mindful about food intake, almost like being alcoholic. Once you have had it (the food obsession) it never goes away again.
I too could never understand how "an apple" could be an adequate lunch, but now I'm actually one of those "naturally slim" people. I like to eat, and I like having a somewhat regular meal schedule, but I can wait if I have something to do that is more important at that time; I like balanced meals, but I like and can eat almost anything.
I think I'm lucky because my problems didn't run very deep - not rooted in self-image or caused by abuse, I was just misinformed. Even in my most extreme periods, eating out, especially while on vacation, was liberating; I would on one hand loosen up on all my rules, and on the other hand be a lot more selective. I would seek out good food, and never think that I'm not going to eat. Somehow the responsibility of "feeding myself", at home, alone, was hard for me. Things have changed now, I have aquired more, and more neutral, nuanced and sensible information about nutrition, and I feel in charge and competent.2 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
That's what I find odd about the hatred of the term. Yes, you can call it "cutting" or keeping a calorie deficit, but there's nothing wrong with consciously trying to reduce total fat through eating less than you burn, and that's one use of the term "diet" (another is, as kommodevaran said, just what you eat).
That one is focused on body composition or reducing some fat doesn't mean one has any specific "diet mentality" and for me -- although I have not been particularly focused lately on body comp, I admit -- realizing I had the ability to change my body in that way was empowering and did not relate to some yoyo thing or buying into diet industry nonsense. And it certainly did not contradict the idea of flexibility (I embraced the concept of flexible dieting) or cause me to think of myself as "bad" or a "cheater" if I consumed some pizza or a cookie. To the contrary, having a healthy idea that oh, fat loss happens in this way, and I can choose to work on fat loss through a calorie deficit (which is a diet) and there's no magic mumbo-jumbo needed helped me to not fall for most of the diet industry nonsense.
I do try different things to see how I like them/if they work for me (different ways of eating or what not, playing around with macros and all that), but I don't freak out over them or get bothered if something is not ideal for me. I take what I like and discard the rest.3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
Why are you assuming that poster does not trust her body or listen to it or obsesses about food and dieting. That one wants to lose some fat/improve body comp (which at leaner levels especially may need to be a conscious effort) does not mean that one is obsessing about food and dieting.
I will note that I tend to find maintenance easy if I watch portions (as in use my mind, I usually don't log at maintenance, although I found it one enjoyable way to lose weight, although not IMO required for me), eat on a regular schedule and don't snack, and remain active, and eat a generally nutrition-conscious diet (which I would do regardless of weight as I enjoy it and consider it important for health). This is what I call "mindful eating" (and is totally consistent with my own ideas of flexible dieting -- the difference is that for a diet you keep a calorie deficit, so eat a little less).
I see this as quite different from "trust your body" if that is supposed to me follow hunger signals or something. I don't think that works for a lot of people, including me. I need to involve my brain--including my understanding of what a reasonable amount to eat and what reasonable choices are--in the process.
I agree that beating yourself up is not a good approach and would not work for me. I think of this whole thing as an interesting learning experience.1 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
Because that's how I got to 260 lbs.3 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
This.
Words can mean several different, usually related, things.
How I eat is my diet.
What I do when I want to lose weight is diet.
Formal diets are a slightly different thing (think: Atkins, DASH etc.)
Fad diets (think: cabbage soup diet) are yet another slightly different thing.
The word diet isn't "bad".
(nor are formal diets inherently bad)2 -
What I meant was we are so tuned into the diet mentality, of restricting and deprivation, that we have grown to be a society of scared eaters..because we haven't learned how to be mindful- we have just learned to diet. We are so ingrained about the scale... so ingrained about what is good or bad, we call ourselves cheaters, a lot of negative words to become more positive usually won't help.1
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So how does one stop seeing logging and measuring food as a "diet" behavior and just something that needs to be done? Sometimes I feel like eating to a number is an artificial external control, but left to my own devices is how I got to where I am.1
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newheavensearth wrote: »So how does one stop seeing logging and measuring food as a "diet" behavior and just something that needs to be done? Sometimes I feel like eating to a number is an artificial external control, but left to my own devices is how I got to where I am.
Because I believe some people have portion control and awareness of hunger cues baked into their nervous systems. Some don't. It doesn't matter how much of it is genetic and how much is upbringing, for someone like myself, I know I need to monitor what I'm doing if I want to maintain my weight. If I'm not mindful about my eating, I'll get fat again -- and I have 50 years of experience behind that realization. That means eating what I like, enjoying it when I eat it, attending to my hunger cues, eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm satisfied, monitoring my caloric input and my weight.
A diet is something you do to correct a condition, with the implication that when the "diet" is over you'll return to your previous mode of operation. Unfortunately, it's that previous mode of operation that got most of us into trouble in the first place, so returning to it means we'll pack the fat back on again.
Further, the language we use to describe what we're doing influences how we think about ourselves. If we say things like "I'm dieting", "I'm having a cheat day", "I'm addicted to sugar/carbs/whatever", or "I fell off the wagon", we're reflecting attitudes and beliefs we've internalized about losing weight, our bodies, and the morality of eating/not eating certain things. That's why the language we choose can subvert our plans to lose weight and keep it off -- and why I will no longer say I'm "dieting". Diets don't work because you're artificially separating your life into "Dieting" and "Not Dieting" segments.
I do think we can learn to internalize the monitoring of hunger cues and portion control -- but I know I'm not there yet and if I never am, that's the price of staying at my maintenance weight.2 -
Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
I just call it eating better. As in, I am paying attention to how I feel, eating smaller prortions first and then going for "seconds" only after I've waited and am still hungry after severam minutes. Picking foods that taste good AND affected my body positively, not leaving me bloated and queasy.1 -
stanmann571 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
Because that's how I got to 260 lbs.
Exactly. I can pay attention to how well I feel after eating certain foods now, but it has taken a lot of retraining, and some rather severe IBS issues. And I still have a tendency towards overeating because the reward section of my brain is MUCH stronger than the healthy maintenance section. When your body is screaming " TRUST ME MORE PIE IS BETTER PIE!" And "NO SERIOUSLY! STALE CHIPS DIPPED IN FAKE CHEESE IS HEALTHY! THE CHEESE MAKES IT GOOD FOR YOU" you have to start relying on outside limitors. Sure with hard work and a lot of time and reinforcements, you can teach your smart, healthy brain to ignore crazy reward brain, but if you are 100+ overweight, obviously your body is not the best judge of food character.0 -
stanmann571 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
Why don't you read about listening to your body and trusting it instead of going on and off diets. Just eat foods like a person who doesn't obsess about food and dieting.
Because that's how I got to 260 lbs.
Exactly. I can pay attention to how well I feel after eating certain foods now, but it has taken a lot of retraining, and some rather severe IBS issues. And I still have a tendency towards overeating because the reward section of my brain is MUCH stronger than the healthy maintenance section. When your body is screaming " TRUST ME MORE PIE IS BETTER PIE!" And "NO SERIOUSLY! STALE CHIPS DIPPED IN FAKE CHEESE IS HEALTHY! THE CHEESE MAKES IT GOOD FOR YOU" you have to start relying on outside limitors. Sure with hard work and a lot of time and reinforcements, you can teach your smart, healthy brain to ignore crazy reward brain, but if you are 100+ overweight, obviously your body is not the best judge of food character.
I'll be logging forever, and I'm ok with that.
I've set a very generous goal, which will allow me to be very flexible in my eating and logging, but I'll be logging for the rest of my life.1 -
My brain is set to eat at maintaining 165 lbs for the last 20 years, which is 1,660 calories. I am trying to train it to eat at maintenance for 120 lbs, which is 1,410 calories. It is really difficult. I will be logging for a long time until I get used to eating at 1,410 calories. But, at least this is a "diet" that seems to work. I have been through some crazy diets. This seems to make sense. I can't wait until i can stop logging and just eat at maintenance. Good luck to everyone.0
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
...A lifestyle change!
Yes!
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Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
I just call it eating better. As in, I am paying attention to how I feel, eating smaller prortions first and then going for "seconds" only after I've waited and am still hungry after severam minutes. Picking foods that taste good AND affected my body positively, not leaving me bloated and queasy.
But what if you see eating well as something that you do no matter what, and are at a stable weight, but want to lose a bit more fat. You aren't needing to "eat better" or have a "lifestyle change" (a term I don't care for, although it beats journey!). You need to cut calories some (assuming you are happy with your activity levels). One can call that a diet without falling into the specific language or behaviors that OP seems to be talking about.0 -
Totally agree with the sentiments posted.
I am 51 years old.
Have battled being overweight since childhood.
I have always been on a DIET!
My life changed the day I joined MFP.
I realised that this was forever!
A permanent lifelong commitment.
A new way of living, eating and thinking.
NO BAD FOOD OR GOOD FOOD!
Just food.
This Ethos works!
At 95 pounds down......(And more than 500 days on MFP);
I am living proof!2 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »So what would you like me to call it when I'm trying to lose weight?
I just call it eating better. As in, I am paying attention to how I feel, eating smaller prortions first and then going for "seconds" only after I've waited and am still hungry after severam minutes. Picking foods that taste good AND affected my body positively, not leaving me bloated and queasy.
But what if you see eating well as something that you do no matter what, and are at a stable weight, but want to lose a bit more fat. You aren't needing to "eat better" or have a "lifestyle change" (a term I don't care for, although it beats journey!). You need to cut calories some (assuming you are happy with your activity levels). One can call that a diet without falling into the specific language or behaviors that OP seems to be talking about.
Yea exactly. And I do eat a bit differently when I am cutting/leaning vs maintaining or bulking/gaining. I eat more high volume low cal options. Many things I typically don't eat otherwise.0
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