We Broke Up Because....... part 2 .....
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He had an outie that looked like a nip
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One day he just disappeared with no explanation0
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Could never find her way home. Kept going to strangers houses, sitting on their sofa and asking where I was.1
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He always changed the number on our house and hired actors to pretend they were strangers.0
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Kept on making out with the "strangers"0
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He was just strange0
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The actual reason most of my relationships haven't lasted.
Didn't like strange0 -
Didn't let me eat Tim bits0
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Always brought up old arguments long after they'd been resolved.0
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He knows it’s true, gingers steal souls.0
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Kept calling me Linda and insisted I'd look better as a red-head0
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I wouldn’t give her Touch ID access to my cell phone0
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I found some questionable photos on his phone
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He wasn't willing to let my Ex join us! ;p0
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She kept insisting her ex join us....I couldn't get it through to her that chess was only a 2 person game!! 0
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He wouldn't settle for a 2some, wanted 3somes, 4somes etc
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I learned I was just a pawn in his game0
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She didn't like that every time we went bowling I had to start quoting the big labowski....0
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He smelt like prawn0
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Didn't share my love of shellfish0
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happimess1 wrote: »i caught her watching a site called prawnhub
Lol.. lets make up 
@jamesakrobinson He kept turning the thermostat down, said it reminded him of home.. brrr0 -
She didn't like when I'd dress like an oompa-loompa and rhyme during sexy time!!0
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johnbarthelbcp79 wrote: »She didn't like when I'd dress like an oompa-loompa and rhyme during sexy time!!
Sexy time was 64 seconds
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slimgirljo15 wrote: »johnbarthelbcp79 wrote: »She didn't like when I'd dress like an oompa-loompa and rhyme during sexy time!!
Sexy time was 64 seconds
57 seconds of sexy time was all rhyming... 1 -
johnbarthelbcp79 wrote: »slimgirljo15 wrote: »johnbarthelbcp79 wrote: »She didn't like when I'd dress like an oompa-loompa and rhyme during sexy time!!
Sexy time was 64 seconds
57 seconds of sexy time was all rhyming...
True story..I needed more than 7 seconds
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Every time she'd get out of the shower I'd break out the whipped cream....yeah...she'd need to shower again!!!0
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johnbarthelbcp79 wrote: »Every time she'd get out of the shower I'd break out the whipped cream....yeah...she'd need to shower again!!!
Wait... let's not break up.. Im buying you cases of whipped cream bayyybeee
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johnbarthelbcp79 wrote: »She kept insisting her ex join us....I couldn't get it through to her that chess was only a 2 person game!!
Chess was the only game he'd play with me
She was always using a Timer in the boudoir0
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