Staying strong when it’ll take years to lose the weight

daniip_la · November 2017

I guess I’m looking for a little support from people who spent years losing a massive amount of weight.

I’ve found, in the past, that I tend to self-sabotage after the 8 month to a year mark. My MFP weight loss graph looks like a roller coaster because of this. And I know it’s completely my fault, I just tend to get disheartened when I think about how far/long I have to go.

Just last night I was looking at my future weight loss calendar. I like to mark on a calendar when I’ll hit small milestones (attainable ones, I’m usually much further along by the time I hit them). And it hit me, yet again, that I’m looking at probably 2 or 3 years of work to lose the 150lbs I need to lose.

I’ve maintained a 50lb loss for probably 6 years now, at one time almost hitting the 100lb lost mark, but regaining (keto was definitely not for me). I’m not looking for tricks to make it faster, I know how CICO works and I weigh everything using a good scale. I’m just feeling overwhelmed as I’m re-starting this long climb.

Sharon_C · November 2017

I've not lost a large amount of weight but there are a few people I follow on Instagram who have and they are truly motivating and inspirational. If you are on Instagram I highly recommend you follow them. They will inspire you to keep going.

fatgirlfedup (she's lost over 300 pounds)
getfitwjessica
sunshinesjourney (She's lost something like 200+ pounds)

kdbulger · November 2017

I think just constant self-reminders that some progress is better than no progress, you know? I like to do projections like, "Oh, okay I only lost 0.5lbs this week. Well, if I only lost 0.5 lbs a week for the next year, I'd still weigh 26lbs less than I do now at the end of that year."

That's been really helpful to me, but I've not been in it for a really long time yet. I'm not the demographic you were seeking advice from, i just happened to see this come up on my dashboard.

I'm also focusing on other aspects of my fitness, like increasing my strength and endurance, and that also helps the mind set. It's not what I am losing (weight), it's what I've gained (health, lowered resting heart rate, significantly improved mental health, etc.).

Perhaps none of that has been overly helpful, but when the going gets tough I just tell myself to keep showing up and it's been the consistency that is paying dividends.

kommodevaran · November 2017

I hope I can offer insight even though my weightloss has been modest (50 pounds): I have to make a conscious effort every day for the rest of my life, just in order to not gain weight. If keeping weight off is important to me - and it is - I have to eat less for the rest of my life, and the only thing I get to decide, is how to approach it. I have chosen an approach of enjoyment, gratitude, patience. So - I eat food I like, but make sure I don't routinely eat too much. For me, eating food I didn't really like, or believed I had to eat (to be healthy/lose/not gain), was one of the reasons I overate (ironically, but not hard to understand when you think about it). Likewise, the belief that I had to exercise, made me really lazy. These days, I will occasionally dance like a crazy person, or just take a walk because I feel restless.

So there is nothing I feel the need to sabotage anymore. My diet is just what I eat, and I get enough "exercise" from things I do every day anyway.

tinkerbellang83 · November 2017

I used to self-sabotage after about 8 days, never mind months, this time around, I am treating this as a long-term lifestyle change, I am in my first year of my calorie deficit, I have definitely found that having a complete break from the deficit (still logging but eating at maintenance) every couple of months for a week or so has helped to keep me on the right path and I no longer berate myself for having a bad day, I just draw a line under it and crack on the next day.

Non scale victories have also helped me through times when I don't see the scale move it can be little things or massive achievements, some of these have included:

No longer being blighted by back pain
Seeing my measurements come down
Running for the first time since I was about 16 (now 34)
Resting Heart Rate coming down
Clothes fitting better/going down a size
Logging streak
Challenges on both MFP & Garmin groups
Seeing more muscle definition

I've at least a year - 18 month until I will get to my initial target weight, and then likely another year - 18 months of Recomp to get to my ideal weight. The time will pass anyway, you might as well do something positive with it

chelletackett · November 2017

I know exactly how you feel! I have been yo-yo dieting for years (about half of my life, now that I think about it), and nothing has ever worked, and stuck. But over those years, I've learned some important lessons, and even after learning them, I still struggle (because who doesn't?) So this is what I try to do:

Keep friends who inspire me close. My Co-Worker is also a friend and I lean on her so much for advice and support. Keep people around that have your back, Jack!
Remember this is a journey, not a sprint. If you lose it fast, you gain it back just as fast (been there done that, about a dozen times)
Focus on other things. Sounds counter productive right? But I promise, it's not. When you have girls night or a night out with your significant other, don't focus on the food. Focus on the social aspect.
Remember there are other things just as or more important than the number on the scale (ie: Non Scale Victories). For me, it was last night. We went to Wendy's, and I used to order a burger combo, large with a diet coke (the irony is not lost on me...), and some nuggets and maybe a cookie. Last night, I got a grilled chicken sandwich, a side salad with no cheese and a diet dr pepper. I came home, used my own dressing and put a slice of low fat swiss on my chicken sandwich, and you know what? I was full. I was surprised, and really happy about it too. That for me, was a HUGE victory. That tells me that I know I can eat out, make a good choice, enjoy what I am eating, but that I don't have to eat a ton of it.
Even when we fall off the wagon (or off course, or however you want to phrase it), remember that you can change it. The next meal, the next snack, heck, even the next bite. Just because this meal didn't go to plan, doesn't mean your whole day or week is thrown off. A friend once told me "If you skidded toward a cliff in your car, you'd stop and correct it, right? Or would you just say "oh to heck with it" and drive off the cliff?" I have never forgotten that amazing advice!
And the last thing I'll say (and I feel the most important): Remember that you're human. Things happen that aren't in our best laid plans, and sometimes we fall off the course we set. That's okay. Try to find a silver lining (Well, I ate that big burger and fries, but I didn't order dessert, I enjoyed the time I spent with my family, and now I'm going to move on.)

I hope some (or even just a tiny piece) of this helps! Stay strong lady! You got this!

purplebobkat · November 2017

Don't stop doing something just because it'll take 2 years. The 2 years will still pass .

I've been doing this for a year in Jan & i have a year to go to get to a good weight.

To make the long term plan easier you could allow yourself 1 or 2 days a week to eat at maintanance ( i do Friday and Saturday) then you have something to look forward to every week. It breaks down the time & you only have to do 5 days before you get your reward.

Faye369 · November 2017

5 years ago I could not balance long enough on one leg to take my sock off. Motivated by mobility, right then I decided to become more active. Over the next couple of years I improved my stamina and overall core strength to where I could walk/run a 5K... then I plateaued

And my motivation changed .. I like getting smaller and the way I was feeling but for over a month and a half nothing I did produced any movement either on the scale or in the way my clothes fit. Then one day in May 2016 I saw an interview Dr Oz was having with a Dr Michael Mosley talking about intermittent fasting ...2 days a week limit intake to up to 500 calories and the other 5 days eat normally. I started the next day! It is a slow process and although it is a two steps forward and one back, the trend is still downward ... 72.2 lbs and 3 more to go! I can do the 5:2 for the rest of my life and not feel deprived because it's only one day and doable. I can go and enjoy a meal and drinks with my friends because I know I can balance it out with a Fast Day. Find what works for you and try not to get discouraged. You can do this!

apullum · November 2017

Achieving your goal weight does not take two years, or three years, or two months. It doesn't matter who you are or how much you have to lose; that isn't how long it takes.

For every single person here, achieving our goal weight is a process that will take the rest of our lives.

Think about it this way. When you reach your goal weight, what happens then? You can't just stop your new ways of eating and/or exercising and go back to how you used to be. If you do that, you'll gain all the weight right back. Instead, you'll go into maintenance. In maintenance, you'll be able to eat a little bit more than you've been eating, but still not as much as you used to eat. All of the routines that you've developed that helped you lose weight will help you maintain, but you have to keep them up for the rest of your life. I lost 100 pounds; it took me 2.5 years to get to my current weight and will take me the rest of my life to stay there.

It is a lot like managing a medical condition. If you don't continue taking the proper steps to treat the condition, it will flare up, but with consistent treatment, you can keep it under control.

That shouldn't be discouraging, because it means that everyone here needs to develop sustainable routines for the long haul, whether they want to lose 10 pounds or 100 pounds. Losing the weight is just the beginning of that process. What you are really doing is developing ways of eating and/or exercise that you want to live with after you've reached your goal.

vingogly · November 2017

The key is using what's called reframing. It's based on understanding that:

* Situations don't have built-in meaning, we create the meanings they have for us
* Every thought about our situations has a "frame" of beliefs and assumptions behind it
* We can find the positive intentions behind our thoughts and use them to "reframe" a situation

You do reframing by:

Observing your negative thoughts. One aid can be keeping a thought journal; when I've done this, my "journal" has been a few index cards in my pocket, or a cheap small notebook I can keep in my pocket. Another aid is to put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you notice a negative thought.

When you identify a negative thought related to your weight loss process, you can:

Soften it by using less negative language so it doesn't seem totally impossible. For example, "This will take years; I'll never be able to succeed at it" becomes "This will take years; it's going to be a struggle to make it through".

Think about the best strategy for getting through the struggle; for example, it might be: "I don't have to worry about the length of time, I only need to worry about making it through today". What can this strategy teach you about yourself?

Figure out the assumptions and beliefs behind the original negative thought, find the distortions in them, and respond back to them; for example,

"This is too hard and I'll never succeed" That's fortune telling - the distortion is in assuming you can predict the future. A reframe might be - "I've succeeded at plenty of things before in my life, there's no reason I can't succeed at this"

"I'll fail at this because I've failed before" That's over-generalizing - the distortion is believing previous failures mean I'll fail this time. A reframe might be - "Other people succeed at this, and even though I've failed before, I'm going to learn how to do it right this time!"

"I'm a failure and I'll never be thin again" That's catastrophizing - the distortion is believing the worst possible thing is bound to happen. A reframe might be - "I've succeeded at other things and there's no reason I can't succeed at this"

Here's a list of some of the most common cognitive distortions: http://healthymind.com/s-distortions.html

PaulaWallaDingDong · November 2017

Maybe I'm just lucky that when I started on MFP, I wasn't even that serious about losing weight, so it didn't matter how long it took. I'm on day 1038 and down 110+ lbs. I believe I actually hit the 110 mark on day 925. Everyone wants to do it fast, but fast losses rarely stick. Slow progress is progress. It's the best kind of progress, if you ask me. It allows you to adapt more easily when you're making subtle changes. Every pound is a victory.

You know where point A was. You know where point B is. You know what direction you're heading. Put one foot in front of the other. If you need to stop and take a load off every couple of miles, that's fine. Just be careful of backtracking. But even a few steps back once in a while won't hurt you in the end as long as you stay on course.

cheryldumais · November 2017

I completely understand how you feel. I started out with a little over 100 pounds to lose. I lost around 25 or so and maintained a loss of 18 pounds for several years. Finally I got serious and came here and lost the rest. It has taken me 2 years to get here. When you have alot to lose it can feel overwhelming. What I found and since you have lost 50 you can probably concur that you start to feel better even before reaching goal. Take the journey a few steps at a time. Several people who have replied gave you some good pointers. I broke my journey into stages and set smaller goals. In the beginning I was unsure just how low I could get anyway. I set a goal that would get me out of the morbidly obese catagory first. Reaching that was awesome, next was going from obese to just overweight, then within a normal BMI. I never did reach my ultimate goal because I was 16 when I weighed that and I'm 61 now. I'll probably never lose that last 6 pounds or so.

Anyway take your time. There are some advantages to taking a slower route. One of the things I've learned is that I can no longer eat the large meals I used to eat. I actually get sick, lol. It took time to get to that point and the only way I found out was my 60th birthday when I decided to eat whatever I wanted. I ended up nauseated all night from the fat and volume of food I'd eaten. The other things I've learned is that there are foods I would never normally have considered eating that I now enjoy. Also I have mostly broken the sugar addiction. All these things took time. Every step was worth the wait.

Don't look at the long road ahead, stop and appreciate the experience. Diet at a level that you can maintain without feeling like you are starving. This is a lifestyle change not a temporary change. Good luck!

kommodevaran · November 2017

PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »

Maybe I'm just lucky that when I started on MFP, I wasn't even that serious about losing weight, so it didn't matter how long it took. I'm on day 1038 and down 110+ lbs. I believe I actually hit the 110 mark on day 925. Everyone wants to do it fast, but fast losses rarely stick. Slow progress is progress. It's the best kind of progress, if you ask me. It allows you to adapt more easily when you're making subtle changes. Every pound is a victory.

I have had a similar experience with MFP. I can't really/honestly pinpoint which day I hit goal weight, I just eased into maintenance mode, and then lost a few more pounds... I'm now at my "junior high" weight, and feel great. The subtle changes are easy to live with, but almost drove me crazy in the beginning, because I was used to struggling to fanfares. This was so different, like, really, just ordinary everyday life? How can that possibly make a difference?
Takes time to get used to, I'm not quite there yet, and I'm four years in!

newheavensearth · November 2017

I'm maintaining a 60+lb loss for years. I always get within 10 lbs of goal, change plans and screw myself over. I started a thread in Motivation and Support on Flip flopping plans about this. I always look at someone else's success, try out what they're doing, find it doesn't work for me and set myself back a good few lbs. If I had just stuck to calorie counting since I first came here a couple years ago I'd be at goal, but I keep playing this stupid game. And when I look at progress pictures, Libra and food logs I realize it's when I'm following my caloric goals I'm at my best. I need to stop the self sabotage and focus.

Moving forward, it is overwhelming looking at close to 100 lbs to lose. But as already said, time will pass whether you start or not. I'm probably not the best person to take advice from, but it seems like you know exactly what you want to do, so follow your plan one day at a time. Don't look at the time or the total. You got a lot of great advice up there, a lot of it I'll be taking myslf.

Staying strong when it’ll take years to lose the weight

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