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Tell me a joke

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Replies

  • MaxPower6868
    MaxPower6868 Posts: 220 Member
    Two guys sitting on the couch, dog on the floor starts licking himself. One guy says, "Man, I wish I could do that" and the other says, "Nah, I think he'd bite you"
  • OneHundredToLose
    OneHundredToLose Posts: 8,523 Member
    Hey girl, are you a zero APR loan?

    Because I don't understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.
  • suzreen
    suzreen Posts: 2,455 Member
    Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy! (This is my go to joke for little kids)
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
    When is a door not a door?


    When it's ajar.
  • suzreen
    suzreen Posts: 2,455 Member
    What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's heavy and the other's a little lighter.
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    Haha Suzreen!! Those are good ones!
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    pondee629 wrote: »
    When is a door not a door?


    When it's ajar.

    HA!
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  • closetlibrarian
    closetlibrarian Posts: 2,207 Member
    What does a subatomic duck say?

    Quark!
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  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
    A guy went to the doctor and said i can't stop farting , you gota help me doc ! . Doctor said bend over and i'll take a look . Out of nowhere the doctor pulls out a 6 foot pole with a hook on the end of it and the guy said what the hell you going to do with that !! . Doctor said i got to open the window , its bloody stinking in here .
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    Why did the chicken commit suicide?





    To get to the other side.
  • Wax_on_wax_off
    Wax_on_wax_off Posts: 893 Member
    A skeleton walks into a bar. He orders a beer..........and a mop.
  • C0ffeenutter
    C0ffeenutter Posts: 21 Member
    What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

    Lean Beef
  • skahtboi
    skahtboi Posts: 7,804 Member
    Rene Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says "hey fella, want a beer?"

    Descartes replies, " I think not," and vanishes on the spot.
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  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
    Where do sheep go to get a haircut?

    A baa baa shop.
  • Fit4Anarchy
    Fit4Anarchy Posts: 754 Member
    How does Moses make his tea?

    Hebrews it!
  • tmercier57
    tmercier57 Posts: 2 Member
    What's red and white on the outside, and grey on the inside?


    Campbell's Cream of Elephant soup
  • donsred
    donsred Posts: 16 Member
    A neutron walks into a bar, orders a drink, and tosses it back. He turns to the bartender and asks, "What do I owe you?" The bartender says, "For you? No charge."
  • ImperialFudge
    ImperialFudge Posts: 186 Member
    Have you ever heard about the time the lettuce, the tap and the tomato had a race?

    The lettuce was a head, the tap was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup!
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  • finny11122
    finny11122 Posts: 8,436 Member
    Did ya hear about the old carrots funeral . There was a big turnip .
  • Dar_Line86
    Dar_Line86 Posts: 245 Member
    _barefoot_ wrote: »
    A woman said to her husband I want something that goes 0 to 160
    So the husband said get on the scale
    _barefoot_ wrote: »
    A woman said to her husband I want something that goes 0 to 160
    So the husband said get on the scale

    Cold!
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