Question for Ladies who have Lost Weight
Replies
-
I'd be careful if I were you.0
-
Oh yeah I'm getting more attention after losing 30-plus pounds, sometimes it can be overwhelming but nothing crazy. I personally don't care for the attention and i don't need it. I'm also petite 5'2" , curvy and losing weight makes me look even smaller and probably an easy target for some BUT I dare anyone one to try me. I live in a busy metro city and I go out walking by myself. I'm always in control. I've always had a higher than average self-confidence. No one messes with me without my permission. I don't even worry about it.1
-
JillianRumrill wrote: »I have this nagging fear in the back of my head that once I drop all my weight and look like the stunning beauty I know I am (oh so humble!), I'm scared people will mess with me.
Being overweight all my life has been like a suit of armor, nobody would dare kidnap the "fat girl" (and if they could, they've earned it!). I know that this fear stems from my mom's paranoid/anxiety disorder and it is irrational. Most people are good and decent. I already know first hand as I am a people person.
I'm just worried things will change, that all of a sudden, masked assailants will jump out of the bushes or strange weirdos will try to grab my butt. Please tell me this is not true, that nothing really changes (I don't mind a few cat-calls tho, I quite enjoy that LOL).
Hi and {{{{{ HUGS }}}}}!
You've got a LOT of really terrific suggestions and opinions/advice here--really excellent! I'd only add that FEAR is one of my most vicious enemies, an lying, stealing, killing adversary, a scourge and since starting this weight-loss quest, I now actively seek and DESTROY any and ALL vestiges of fear in my life (and ESPECIALLY IN MY MIND, because that's one of it's main targets...thoughts/my mind) and ALL of it's deceitful cohorts: (self) deception/denial, expectations, doubt, pride/vanity, anger, selfishness and too many to name, because FEAR disguises itself in soooooo many different forms and "feelings"). I don't look at fear as a "feeling"...I look at FEAR as a "person/personality/a spirit" that even though I can't actually see it--I can see and "feel" it's manifestation(s) (intimidation, cowardice, self-pity, excuses, justification and all kinds of yucky hindernces/stagnation to real truth and real freedom from it's vicious clutches). Fear has caused me to lose out on soooo much in life. Fear has caused me to miss soooo many beautiful opportunities, wow. For so many YEARS, I allowed fear to rule and reign in my heart and mind and it did what it does best...lies and deceives me into keeping myself lock up in all kinds of yuck and woe. I HATE FEAR and live everyday to utterly expose and destroy it in my life. What's soooo crazy about fear is it's a liar--and 99.99998% of the things I CHOOSE to listen to and believe what that wicked spirit of fear convinced me of NEVER ever came true--WOW, yuck!
One thing fear dreads is LOVE. When you operate in LOVE instead of fear, BAM...fear flees and here come power like you've never even imagine. Love is the absolute enemy of fear, period.
Fear (like faith and love) needs to be fed, period. What you spend (the majority) of your time and give/PAY attention to will either feed THE spirit of fear or give you the power and sound mind to kick it to the curb and then stomp it to death. Lastly, one way I kick fears teeth down it's throat is "self-talk". When fear shoots those arrows of yucky thoughts, I IMMEDIATELY cast them down with The Truth. Example:
Fear: Hahaha...see, the scale is up and all that work is for naught, you'll always be fat, you'll always (fill in the negative blank).
me/self-talk: Hey, I'm looking fabulous and though the scale is up, so are my muscles--I'm feeling firmer muscle through out my body and muscle weighs more than fat, and even if it doesn't I'm in this for the long-haul and I've come too far look back.
Fear: You can't join that class, look at all those young and slim people--you'll look and feel ridiculous joining, go home and have some ice cream or cookies or something.
me/self-talk: I can do this and I'm going to...I'm not trying to impress anyone but Jesus--and He's most impressed with me being meek and humble, so humble myself I will and join--period. This class is going to be super tough for me, but it's also going to be super cool and fun too--I can't wait to go and feel the burn and see results, Boom--I'm in, no matter what!
Fear: oh, you can't go there by yourself...somebody crazy might be there and hurt you
me/self-talk: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking somebody with me...nobody can get "crazier" than me and if they try anything funny--I'm going to go all the WAY off on them, go totally and completely OFF or die trying, bring it...I'm ready for ANYTHING!
The spirit of fear is actually a deceiving/lying coward, if you FACE it...it WILL back down, I'm a witness!
Lastly...fear always made me blame others for my woes and mess--make fear BOW, it's nothing more than the wizard of oz behind the veil...it's a lie and is/has been ripping you off for a long time, put an end to it now, if/since I can do it (admittedly thru Christ who strengthens me, I get my Power from The True and Living God--it's actually His Power that works thru me to kick fears behind ALL the time, everytime--but that's just me), ANYONE can...including and especially you--I promise!
5 -
-
I'm wanting to come out in the defence of the vast majority of men here.
There are sexual abusers attracted to every type of human, animal and inanimate objects. Thankfully they are few and far between.5 -
JillianRumrill wrote: »I have this nagging fear in the back of my head that once I drop all my weight and look like the stunning beauty I know I am (oh so humble!), I'm scared people will mess with me.
Being overweight all my life has been like a suit of armor, nobody would dare kidnap the "fat girl" (and if they could, they've earned it!). I know that this fear stems from my mom's paranoid/anxiety disorder and it is irrational. Most people are good and decent. I already know first hand as I am a people person.
I'm just worried things will change, that all of a sudden, masked assailants will jump out of the bushes or strange weirdos will try to grab my butt. Please tell me this is not true, that nothing really changes (I don't mind a few cat-calls tho, I quite enjoy that LOL).
So much this for me. Except I have a history of childhood abuse that is the main contributing factor for me. I have only been overweight since having kids. But even prior to that, I walked around scared much of the time. I did what some others have suggested and I would force myself to stand tall (if a shorty can do that) and appear "strong" so no one would bother me (even though I was quaking inside). This emotional aspect is the last goliath I have to conquer to get past the emotional part of weight for me. I've spent this past year just dealing with junk from childhood and this one last little piece continues to plague me. I think you just gave me the kick in the pants I need to face it down and just deal with it so I can move on. But I so get you on the fear of someone coming after you. I totally get it. I don't have any great advice except to face it down and don't let the fear win. For me, it's David vs. Goliath, and I expect David to win.2 -
I'm a guy and just wanted to give my perspective...sexual abuse, harassment, etc aren't about looks or physical/sexual attraction...they are about power and it doesn't matter your size, if you're pretty, or any of that.
You may get more attention...it may be wanted or unwanted...but acts of actual assault are about power, not how you look.9 -
I am a country girl living and working downtown in a large city, so I feel the same way as the OP. I don't look fat, but I'm large and can "throw my weight around" if needed. But I already somewhat stick out and get comments because I am cute and different looking than most people walking downtown. I'm afraid if I get smaller, then people will do more than make comments. Maybe I need to take self defense classes. I got a black belt when I was a kid, but I'm a bit rusty.1
-
As long as you don't dress to provoke that kind of treatment and carry yourself confidently I wouldn't worry about a thing.
We, as a species, are never going to ever move past the whole victim blaming of "What you wore caused a man to sexually assault you.", are we. Women younger than me are now regurgitating this myth so of course we aren't.
If I wasn't before, I am now actually relieved I have no biological stake in the future of humanity.
10 -
I grew up pretty and thin and lived to tell about it. You're fine. Don't be irrational. Being fat doesn't make you safe, it just makes you invisible. False sense of security.6
-
bikecheryl wrote: »If your really worried about it, why don't you add some self defense and kick boxing courses to your exercise regime?
Then they'd be dealing with a stunning beauty that can take care of herself and knock them on their *kitten*!!
You must be a Dad of daughters! If you aren't you should be
I am an idiot......the hat had me thinking guy until I maximized the picture and saw woman and saw bikeCHERYL! SORRY bikecheryl!1 -
I get where you are coming from and for several reasons went through some of the same anxiety. It's more than just looking hot it's also coming to terms with your new body. I believe it will pass, some of the suggestions are good. At the absolute minimum try working out doing things you never thought you could. Even something a simple as Lunges or Jumping Jacks, so many to pick from . . . as your body shows you its strength your mind and thoughts will catch-up = Less Fear!1
-
I have anxiety about many irrational things, but have just recently realized that 99.9% of them will never happen. Personal safety is one of these things. Going off the pill has improved my situation tremendously.
Anxiety and hormones often go hand-in-hand. Talk to your doctor and a therapist if needed. Mental issues can be hereditary, no shame in getting help.1 -
I fully understand how you feel.My mom and being abused as a child left me with fears and anxiety. I thought about taking up martial arts,at least that will give me more confidence in kicking someone's *kitten*.1
-
Unfortunately there have been a large number of gropings and rapes in my neighborhood so I take self defense and boxing classes. I also run.
As for aggressive behavior, I find it comes from other women- eye rolling, tooth sucking, name calling, flirting with my husband just to start a fight, accusing me of looking at their "man" when it's usually the other way around. Petty and jealous crap.3 -
I laughed reading this, because I knew it was ridiculous but I've actually had the same thought! I have lost about 50 pounds, and when I was heavier, in a weird way I did feel safer. But now that I am at a healthy weight and have been exercising like a fiend, I feel stronger and faster than ever. I am almost certain I have the speed and endurance to outrun any bad guy! :-)3
-
grinning_chick wrote: »As long as you don't dress to provoke that kind of treatment and carry yourself confidently I wouldn't worry about a thing.
We, as a species, are never going to ever move past the whole victim blaming of "What you wore caused a man to sexually assault you.", are we. Women younger than me are now regurgitating this myth so of course we aren't.
If I wasn't before, I am now actually relieved I have no biological stake in the future of humanity.
Yes, woman! Let's ignore reality in favor of an ideal fantasy world! If we say it doesn't happen it will surely stop happening from now on. Interesting how you see victim blaming in what I said. Of course it's the fault of women who are wary of how they dress because there are guys who think they're above all norms and values of society. (Note: Like said before the heavy assaults are often about power and have little to do with how you dress, I'm not talking about this).
Your comment made me furious for reasons I'm not going to get into here. For this reason this will be the last I'll reply and read of this matter.-2 -
I agree with the post above 100%, a few years ago I lost 36 pounds and started getting a lot of compliments, more looks from men, nothing at all negative. I am happily married for 29 years so not interested but it did create in me a spirit of fear that I only realized consciously several years later after regaining the weight, and all the aches and pains that go along with it! It's good to be aware of your thinking because then you can change it.1
-
Whoops I wasn't on the last page when I wrote my post--agreeing with new lifestyle's post!0
-
bikecheryl wrote: »If your really worried about it, why don't you add some self defense and kick boxing courses to your exercise regime?
Then they'd be dealing with a stunning beauty that can take care of herself and knock them on their *kitten*!!
You must be a Dad of daughters! If you aren't you should be
Nope.... a mom of twin sons and soon to be Grandma
And a firm believer in the power of self.
Taking back control of my life..... learning to rid myself of the baggage and the weight that went with it has shown me how strong I can be.
My husband is still my knight in shiny armor..... but it's good to know I can ride to my own rescue if needed.
3
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393K Introduce Yourself
- 43.7K Getting Started
- 260.1K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.8K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 416 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.9K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.6K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.5K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions
Do you Love MyFitnessPal? Have you crushed a goal or improved your life through better nutrition using MyFitnessPal?
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!
Share your success and inspire others. Leave us a review on Apple Or Google Play stores!