What’s the most ignorant thing well meaning people have said to you about weight?
the_prez3
Posts: 58 Member
I’ve had a great deal of success over the last year changing my body composition. Being very close to achieving my goal body fat percentage, I’m noticing more and more people are very opinionated about my weight loss. Sometimes they go out of their way to tell me I need to stop now or I’m skinny enough etc etc. Sometimes I take the time to try and explain my long term goals and that I’ve got a few more pounds left to go but they still get pushy with their opinions. I’ve never noticed before that in this society, it seems perfectly acceptable to give people your opinion about this area of their life but not ok to say anything if the person is overweight. I’ve done this to others before and never realized how annoying it is until I’ve become the subject. I know part of the reason this happens is because I’ve lost quite a bit of weight and folks aren’t used to seeing me like this but some of the comments people make are just incredibly pushy.
I’m not one to let others make my decisions for me so I’ve got no problem ignoring the comments and pushing on towards my goals but I thought I’d open up a discussion on this topic to see what others have experienced and how you reacted.
I’m not one to let others make my decisions for me so I’ve got no problem ignoring the comments and pushing on towards my goals but I thought I’d open up a discussion on this topic to see what others have experienced and how you reacted.
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Replies
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It's so true, especially relatives. The last few days were tough.
The most hurtful are the people that get TOO excited and make a huge spectacle about the loss. They think it's a compliment but it's actually insulting because while the weight is gone, YOU are still that person.
I also hate when they assume you aren't done and ask how much more you plan to lose.
My strategy is to always consider the source of the comments, usually people who aren't active, are uneducated on the subject and don't know the struggles. I have been thinking about losing a bit more after maintaining for several months. Without knowing this my sister-in-law told me not to lose too much more or I'll look anorexic. I strength train and have muscles to show for it. Her concerns are ridiculous.
It is very sad that people feel it is ok to comment on your body, whatever state it is. We blame magazines and celebrities for unreal expectations but I fear far too many people are faced with that pressure in their own homes.5 -
..... and for the record, I’m NOT going to slide down the drain if I turn sideways, or whatever the stupid expression is. I hear you OP.1
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I bumped into an old friend in the store and he asked if I had cancer or something.3
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I bumped into an old friend in the store and he asked if I had cancer or something.
Did you just stare at him until he walked away? Seems like a waste of words when someone is that stupid.
My two cents on this is that it says a lot about the people who say these comments. While I smile and nod my head that's what goes thru my head. It's annoying sure, but just remind yourself of that and maybe you won't be so bothered by it going forward. Or don't.1 -
Surprisingly I haven’t gotten a lot of annoying comments since losing weight. People don’t really notice it or they don’t say anything. I got more comments when i was fat about being fat or eating a bunch of cookies, etc.
What I have noticed are the unsaid things. Stares, jealousy, attraction.
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I always just figure if people who don’t have the same lifestyle as me are making stupid comments then I’m right on track. But the people who tell me I need to stop and other pieces of advice, I always want to ask them where they’ve been for the past year while I was punching the clock everyday. I’ve been steering this ship for this long without their help and I didn’t ask for any advice. But I know they mean well.1
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It's truly annoying! Yesterday my sister said, from across a room full of people, "I hope you're not planning to lose any more weight, you're looking too skinny already." I said, "well, it's my body so I guess I'll make my own decisions." Probably not the best comeback but it's all I had when she publicly put me on the spot.6
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MarvinsAMartian wrote: »I bumped into an old friend in the store and he asked if I had cancer or something.
Did you just stare at him until he walked away? Seems like a waste of words when someone is that stupid.
My two cents on this is that it says a lot about the people who say these comments. While I smile and nod my head that's what goes thru my head. It's annoying sure, but just remind yourself of that and maybe you won't be so bothered by it going forward. Or don't.
I agree with this. I get told fairly regularly that I'm "too thin". Generally, I reply, "as compared to???" and wait for a response. Some people do mean well but don't know how to say it. Others are genuinely uneducated or are thoroughly convinced that their own opinions are right that there's no sense trying to change their mind. My response varies depending on their response, but regardless, I never carry it with me or let the comments affect me. That's just wasted energy.3 -
I think the people who are the most annoying can be the ones who have lost a lot of weight themselves are are suddenly "experts". Different things work for different people. My husband dropped 160lbs through diet alone. Working out didn't work for him bc he found it made him hungrier and more likely to eat more than he burned. His drastic diet is too drastic for me. I'm working slowly to get where I'm going. I like to work out and find when I do, I 'm more likely to eat healthy bc I don't want to undo the work I did. On here, I log only half my exercise so I can splurge now and then, but not too much if my calculator is overestimating my workouts, lol. anyway, different people have different issues with their weight, different medical issues and overall yes it's a calorie in/out thing, but success can take different paths.3
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Hi, I enjoyed reading all your posts, thank you. I am no where near having to face those type of comments, but it helps me focus on what I want for me and just carry one, regardless of stares or comments, congrats to all of you!2
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I don't talk about weight loss really and haven't gotten comments about my body but I shared my food diary once with someone and they commented that I sure ate a lot and was odd because I ate 3 meals a day. I was only doing 1200 calories for my goal then. They were bigger than me, didn't track anything, and claimed they just snacked instead of eating regular meals.
It kind of brought home that many people do not know what they are really taking in or what is normal. I was like that for many years too.
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My dad told me I shouldn't be so strict about what I eat. Since I workout so much I can get away with eating whatever I want! Haha. Not even close (but I do eat a lot) He also told me I need to stop losing weight because Im "big boned" and being thin doesnt look good on my frame....I think I actually have a very small frame and the only time in my whole life I was too thin was a brief encounter with eating disorders in highschool that knocked me into an "underweight" BMI. I wont ever be that small again!1
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It’s interesting because a lot of the time the comments come from out of the blue without even discussing the topic. I’ve had many people just walk up to me and tell me I need to stop losing weight and I’m skinny enough. Of course these are folks that don’t understand that I’m not even close to being done and this is only phase one of my goals. Once I reach a certain body fat percentage, I’m going to begin a bulking phase in an attempt to put on muscle. So I’ve got a big picture mentality here, my goal isnt to just be skinny.0
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Hah. Family. We had a nosy relative quiz us on the pills we are taking and hubby and I are getting better at deflection. I said “mostly vitamins” and hubby said “Thyroid”. What the relative gonna do? Tell him to stop taking a thyroid pill? Hah.
Another addled relative asked if I had lost a lot of weight? I said, “Yes.”
So much unsolicited advice, so little time. I’m so happy to get hubby home where he can be King of his castle, and the two of us are quite happy with the choices we’ve made.1 -
I should mention the nosy relative boasts she doesn’t take any pill. This time she did add she feels guilty for not taking Vitamin D more regularly.1
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Mine is the opposite. My family means well but if I drop 8 lbs in a month I'm happy. There is a person in particular that thinks I should lose faster. They know I won't date again until I've lost my weight. In their way they think they are being supportive. However, it doesn't have a leave a positive impression.2
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One would think if you’ve managed your own weight loss successfully for a decent period of time then you’d be qualified to make your own decisions without help from arm chair quarterbacks.1
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there are two reasons people make these comments. jealousy... or they're complete oafs, lacking sophistication, taste, and in most cases education.
Swift people don't objectify other human beings. They think before they speak..and they actually care about how they make other people feel.1 -
You're so lucky to have been blessed with such great genes...I could never have your body.
That kind of comment is usually used as an excuse for the commenter to not make any changes. They were cursed with terrible bodies. And since it's all about "luck" and "fate" rather than effort and perseverance, why should they even bother? But it's a bit insulting that I get zero credit for the effort I put into my fitness. It's not really that much effort, but at least give me some credit...I didn't magically wake up like this.
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Wow!You're so lucky to have been blessed with such great genes...I could never have your body.
That kind of comment is usually used as an excuse for the commenter to not make any changes. They were cursed with terrible bodies. And since it's all about "luck" and "fate" rather than effort and perseverance, why should they even bother? But it's a bit insulting that I get zero credit for the effort I put into my fitness. It's not really that much effort, but at least give me some credit...I didn't magically wake up like this.
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cathleen73 wrote: »I think the people who are the most annoying can be the ones who have lost a lot of weight themselves are are suddenly "experts". Different things work for different people.
Thats my sister.
She's gone gluten free, strict vegan, and something close to paleo-shes convinced I have a dairy allergy and I need to do what she's doing.
Its all well intentioned, she struggled with her weight big time growing up, but I am not interested in any of that stuff. It gets tiring listen to her jabs about me eating 'murdered chickens/cows/etc' so I get anxious eating around her now. I've never said a bad word about her becoming vegetarian then vegan or anything else (its not my business!) but she's had plenty about me not doing it.
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Oh man, I’d make it a point to eat only meat around her just to stir the pot. My brother is very much overweight and even though I’ve had success with my body composition, I’ve had times in the past when he was on some kind of diet kick where he just flat out told me I was doing it wrong. Even though he’s more than 100lbs obese, he’d give me advice. Kind of like a shop teacher with missing fingers.LilFoxtrot wrote: »cathleen73 wrote: »I think the people who are the most annoying can be the ones who have lost a lot of weight themselves are are suddenly "experts". Different things work for different people.
Thats my sister.
She's gone gluten free, strict vegan, and something close to paleo-shes convinced I have a dairy allergy and I need to do what she's doing.
Its all well intentioned, she struggled with her weight big time growing up, but I am not interested in any of that stuff. It gets tiring listen to her jabs about me eating 'murdered chickens/cows/etc' so I get anxious eating around her now. I've never said a bad word about her becoming vegetarian then vegan or anything else (its not my business!) but she's had plenty about me not doing it.
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Not this outing. But during a previous weight-loss attempt, I had a roommate who, I honestly believe, felt threatened by my dropping pounds. And she'd start deliberately trying to push baked goods on me. If I turned them down, it was "So you're NEVER going to have cake again? You know, if you're not careful, you're going to develop an eating disorder."
We are no longer roommates. Or friends.
ETA: And come to think of it, I don't think she was that well-meaning, so I guess I posted off-topic. Sorry.3 -
My best friend gives me so much advice about losing weight, it's very annoying. I know she thinks she is helpful & it kinda hurts her feelings if I don't acknowledge it, but it's mostly from weight watchers & Dr Oz & other places but I'm not doing any of those methods & what I've been doing is working-48lbs down so I don't want advice from places I can't use1
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