Unsupportive spouse

You have to do it yourself.

The best thing to do is talk to them about it. I had incredibly unsupportive friends. One minute they said they were proud that I was losing weight and becoming fitter but two seconds later complain that I was into fitness and nitpick what I was eating.

Not everyone will be supportive or willing to go along with your journey. And like someone else said, if they're not actively trying to stop you or ruin your progress then you're okay.

But like I said, talking to her about is the best course of action for you to take.

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moosmum1972 wrote: »

kso729 wrote: »

Anyone else have a spouse that's unsupportive about getting fit? I know it's not for everyone but a little support would be nice.

How many times have you started though. ...no offense if it's more than one I'd be "unsupportive" too regardless of gender of the partner. My oh has heard me whine and start over countless times and now doesn't want to know...unsupportive? no not really. It's my journey not his.

Quoting for emphasis

I had to have a come to Jesus meeting with my husband after getting diabetes. Basically, it was too much to resist constant temptation in my own house every day. We agreed that he would stop snacking in front of me when it wasn't mealtime, that we would not eat fast food out or order in all the time, and there was an absolute ban on him complaining that I needed to work out.

It worked, mainly because seeing me very sick and in the hospital scared him enough that he knows this is life or death for me. He loves me and wants me to stay alive.

It may not be so obvious to you or your wife, but this is life or death for you too, in the sense that you only get one body and one lifetime and how you treat your body determines how long and healthy your life will be. Your wife doesn't really want you to die (if she does, that's a whole different problem!) but she also probably wants to avoid thinking about it in those terms. Have that conversation with her. Her cooking, if you eat it every day, is determining how long your life will be. You get to have some say about it. It's important for her to learn to do it so you LITERALLY DON'T DIE YOUNG.

If she's from a food culture which cherishes fried foods and loads of full fat cheese and dessert every day and other unhealthy American choices, there may be a learning curve. But either she has to make food which is good fuel for your body, or you have to mostly eat other food. It doesn't make sense to keep eating food that hurts your body. It's better to die an old man after a healthy life than a young man with heart disease.

As for fitness, well, it's boring and takes you away from her, and I completely understand, and she needs to get over it. Invite her to work out with you. If she won't, tell her to shut up about it. I believe the phrase I used with my husband was, "If you don't stop trying to sabotage me I will murder you in your sleep," but that may be too strong for your household. My husband knew what I was trying to tell him and he heard me and stopped trying to sabotage me. The point is, you need to say whatever will make her understand that continuing to be alive is important to you, and anyone who stands in the way of that is an enemy.

You are responsible for your own health and fitness. She is responsible for her own health and fitness. You can eat smaller portions of her cooking if that is an issue and supplement with salads, veggies, etc. I eat a healthy breakfast, lunch, and snacks, and make a "family style" meal for dinner (which always includes a salad or healthy cooked veggies and starches that I can dress simply for my plate and my husband and kids can drown in cheese and butter if desired. Not as much fun as it would be if everyone in the family was on board, but a manageable way to deal with different food preferences and exercise goals. Speaking as the spouse of a man who is extremely morbidly obese--you cannot change another person, you can only support him/her when they decide to make a change on their own. Then get out of the way because self-motivation can change everything!

Maybe she's offended, taking your change in eating habits as a criticism of her cooking. Maybe she feels shunned. Maybe she feels your workouts are taking away from time you used to spend together. I dunno. You could offer to take walks in the park with her on the days you don't workout. It's a good opportunity to talk with each other.

My boyfriend hasnt been really supportive.. He takes up my gym time and I let him.. it also has cut into my time to cook so more take out and i gained weight. i am trying to start fresh with the new year but this time involve him. I hope it works better for me with him knowing how serious it can be.. i dont think he sees the weight gain which is a blessing but comments on clothes leaving marks and i am at the i refuse to buy bigger.. it will make me fatter.. lol. well.. anyways good luck.

You want someone to support your weight loss and if you have not already JOIN the MILITARY. They provide all the support you need to lose that stubborn weight. You can even learn a few new skills to boot.

No really the only person that needs to help you is YOU. I understand there is no one else that is going to get this done but me.

My spouse is very supportive of my journey but I know I still send her around the bend at times. I sometimes have to remind myself that the lifestyle change I’m making is for me, and I can’t expect everyone to jump on with me, cause god knows it took me 20 years to get on the band wagon to start with. You need to be open about why you are doing it, how you are going to do it, and the support you need, but you also need to be open to compromise... I workout early in the morning or late at night to not upset the household schedule, sometimes eat more carbs than planned due to convenience with the kids, but in return my wife leaves the ingredients out for me to scan with the recipe so I can track, and waits patiently in a restaurant for me to look up the nutritional info on my phone before I order. It’s a new way of thinking and it doesn’t happen over night, and you may just need to give her time to catch up. But as a previous poster indicated we only get one body, and sometimes we do need to take a serious look and make corrections - and it’s not easy.