Quit Putting Yourselves Under a Microscope!
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OP there are quite a few in the MFP community losers and maintainers alike that have been on these forums for years (myself included) and while it may seem a critical assessment to you of your posts it certainly was not intended for that to be and its your perception. If you hang around the forums often enough you get to know who is who and they all have been in the trenches of losing weight and advice is spot on.
That said, we are (men and women) most critical of ourselves and what we see in the mirror is not the same thing as others see us, I get that. And because weight loss in NOT linear, perhaps just the wording of 'step on the scale' is not a one size fits all, but so many do define success based on the number on the scale. Not necessarily bad, at first the goal is to see it moving downward but down the road when we need other tools there are a few we can use. Scale weight is just one set of data points in whole host of variables.
Other variables to measure success are through taking body measurements, monthly progress photos, better fitting clothing; and if you are 100% on point with compliance with your deficit, you are moving the right direction no matter if the scale says so or not. We (females) have potential to see significant fluctuations during ovulation and menses (twice a month) and trending our weight can be beneficial especially for daily/weekly weighers. Trending weight using an app is a handy tool to use as well.
Adding in resistance training and exercise adds in other variables to our scale weight as well. And while we will not gain significant muscle mass in a calorie deficit (these taper down after time) we can prevent muscle loss by not having too aggressive of a calorie deficit, adequate protein in the diet and resistance training.
Expanding on some of your points was not being critical in the least.
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Just, um, there's space between being soft and being a lean muscular man. And it's okay to want to be anywhere on that spectrum as long as it's healthy.
Just saying.
I also think only using the scale number in the least objective measure but that's just me.6 -
I take all my measurements once a month (mainly because I’m lazy and that’s the most maintainable option for me) and if I only took my weight I would have saw no progress between November and December. Fortunately I take measurements and progress pics so the lack of progress on the scale didn’t bother me because I lost inches and I can see a difference in my photos. THATS why people are saying one form of measurement is a bad idea, because it’s not always going to be reflective of your progress, especially when the measurement is weight which can fluctuate even more for a women because of their monthly cycles, My weight can pop up an easy 5lbs before that time. I also make notes about my mood, performance and just any other things I think are relevant every time I take measurements and it’s interesting to compare them as I progress.4
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Is this the point where someone should come in and add that they also like doing regular measurements as a form of self-assessment?
To the point of the original post, I have something to say. I had a very large baby when I was 40 years old. There's no bouncing back from that. I have stretch marks, cellulite, and loose skin. I've lost 90 pounds.
I look at myself naked in the mirror every single day as a form of self assessment and an exercise in accepting and noting the changes in my body that all my hard work has done. I can see the difference that a few pounds recently lost has made in how my thighs look, and I am thrilled with that progress.
I can see how my glutes have lifted from the strength training and running I've done. My arms are firmer from all the push ups I do every day. Yes, I flex when I do my mirror review, and my batwings have shrunk over time and if I didn't do my unashamed self-assessment, I wouldn't know that glorious fact.
I have a bit of a mother's pooch of loose skin. I've been at a lower weight for 2 years, but that has shrunken down due to recomposition.
My saddle bags? Well, they're still there, but hey. I'm a work in progress.
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Is this the point where someone should come in and add that they also like doing regular measurements as a form of self-assessment?
Oooh! Me! (See previous comments about needing more than one evaluation method.)
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I do not agree that scale weight is the end-all be-all. That can make people obsessed with the number rather than how they actually look. I'd go a month without my scale weight changing at all, but have huge visual differences in how I look (right before a 'woosh'). Not only that, body fat percentage has a lot to do with it.
I'm 5'2". Bodyfat percentage does a WHOLE LOT on me. At 95lbs, I'd look easily 105-110lbs due to my lack of muscle mass. My bodyfat percentage was higher than I'd like it. I'm now actually 105lbs, with about 14% bodyfat (gooooood).
I look fit n' strong. No chub despite my low-but-higher-than-before weight and extremely small frame. It looks MUCH better than the lower scale weight did on me.
There are many measures to use, hun. Not one is the best, and there is a flaw to each.
Use them in CONJUNCTION with each other.5 -
I lost my measuring tape, but I used to love doing that! I'm 5'2", but my BMI and 'healthy weight' range is a bit off due to my small frame (bright side, I tend to be okay ordering clothes from Asian website, holla~). The measuring tape became the best way for me to actually track my progress for a bit. Helped a lot in my actually gaining weight while trying to KO my 'skinny fat' look, so I'd stay consistent in actual visuals instead of gaining more fat as I worked out + ate extra!GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Is this the point where someone should come in and add that they also like doing regular measurements as a form of self-assessment?
To the point of the original post, I have something to say. I had a very large baby when I was 40 years old. There's no bouncing back from that. I have stretch marks, cellulite, and loose skin. I've lost 90 pounds.
I look at myself naked in the mirror every single day as a form of self assessment and an exercise in accepting and noting the changes in my body that all my hard work has done. I can see the difference that a few pounds recently lost has made in how my thighs look, and I am thrilled with that progress.
I can see how my glutes have lifted from the strength training and running I've done. My arms are firmer from all the push ups I do every day. Yes, I flex when I do my mirror review, and my batwings have shrunk over time and if I didn't do my unashamed self-assessment, I wouldn't know that glorious fact.
I have a bit of a mother's pooch of loose skin. I've been at a lower weight for 2 years, but that has shrunken down due to recomposition.
My saddle bags? Well, they're still there, but hey. I'm a work in progress.
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OP there are quite a few in the MFP community losers and maintainers alike that have been on these forums for years (myself included) and while it may seem a critical assessment to you of your posts it certainly was not intended for that to be and its your perception. If you hang around the forums often enough you get to know who is who and they all have been in the trenches of losing weight and advice is spot on.
That said, we are (men and women) most critical of ourselves and what we see in the mirror is not the same thing as others see us, I get that. And because weight loss in NOT linear, perhaps just the wording of 'step on the scale' is not a one size fits all, but so many do define success based on the number on the scale. Not necessarily bad, at first the goal is to see it moving downward but down the road when we need other tools there are a few we can use. Scale weight is just one set of data points in whole host of variables.
Other variables to measure success are through taking body measurements, monthly progress photos, better fitting clothing; and if you are 100% on point with compliance with your deficit, you are moving the right direction no matter if the scale says so or not. We (females) have potential to see significant fluctuations during ovulation and menses (twice a month) and trending our weight can be beneficial especially for daily/weekly weighers. Trending weight using an app is a handy tool to use as well.
Adding in resistance training and exercise adds in other variables to our scale weight as well. And while we will not gain significant muscle mass in a calorie deficit (these taper down after time) we can prevent muscle loss by not having too aggressive of a calorie deficit, adequate protein in the diet and resistance training.
Expanding on some of your points was not being critical in the least.
Thank you! I concede that the scale may not be the best way for everyone to assess their progress.
In the OP, I was only trying to reassure some of the young women on this board who seem to be too hard on themselves. I was particularly thinking of one who should have been so proud of a huge weight loss but was worried about her skin being a little loose. Any sort of measurement that encourages us to keep going is a good one in my opinion. It's the self assessments that say, "Sure the scale says I'm down ten pounds, but I still can't get into a smaller size, or I still look fat to myself," that I was against and it was those people who I was encouraging to just go by the scale.
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I kinda loved the initial post, though I do agree that the scale isn't the be all/end all. Overall, very nice.
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I agree with the original post that you should be fine with who you are, and be happy when you meet the goals you set out for yourself. At the end of the day, most people exercise and lose weight to get closer to the person that they want to be, and that's a great, positive aim that deserves encouragement!2 -
OP, love your message, love your teacup icon. Good luck to you!11
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AbstemiousMe wrote: »"TavistockToad wrote: »Just using scaleweight as a measure of success is a really bad idea...
Care to unpack that a little bit? Or do you just like to say "You're wrong," without giving any reasons or defending your position?
I'll unpack it. Scale is very deceptive, especially when you're gaining muscle and still getting trim. Also, focusing on the scale instead of "scrutinizing" a mirror is still essentially the same thing. Basing self worth on a number instead of an image.
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »Is this the point where someone should come in and add that they also like doing regular measurements as a form of self-assessment?
To the point of the original post, I have something to say. I had a very large baby when I was 40 years old. There's no bouncing back from that. I have stretch marks, cellulite, and loose skin. I've lost 90 pounds.
I look at myself naked in the mirror every single day as a form of self assessment and an exercise in accepting and noting the changes in my body that all my hard work has done. I can see the difference that a few pounds recently lost has made in how my thighs look, and I am thrilled with that progress.
I can see how my glutes have lifted from the strength training and running I've done. My arms are firmer from all the push ups I do every day. Yes, I flex when I do my mirror review, and my batwings have shrunk over time and if I didn't do my unashamed self-assessment, I wouldn't know that glorious fact.
I have a bit of a mother's pooch of loose skin. I've been at a lower weight for 2 years, but that has shrunken down due to recomposition.
My saddle bags? Well, they're still there, but hey. I'm a work in progress.
I do the naked assessment thing. I've done it for a long time. It is how I came to stop being an early 20s hate myself woman who would go on to continuing to hate themselves. Losing weight has never come from a place of self hatred but, to be hippy drippy, self love. Looking at myself lets me be objective about the good and bad bits. Accept the things I can't change (stretch marks agogo) and the things I am working on.4 -
IMO, scale weight is not always the be-all, end-all, not everyone wants the scale to go down (and depending on weight it going down may not always be good), and just focusing on the number may promote unhealthy practices like a focus on losing the fastest possible, no matter what.
I also think that there can be healthy and unhealthy ways to focus on improving your body -- for me, some degree of focus on bodily change can be positive, since I'm past being overly self critical. When I was prone to it, and likely to stare in the mirror with self-hatred, I wasn't overweight and being obsessed with the scale number (I felt like a failure because I wasn't 115), was not something likely to improve my mental image issues.
I also see a lot of people freaking because the scale doesn't go down consistently, but bounces a bit, so understanding there's not complete control of that and it's normal is good.
What I found helpful was focusing on a variety of things -- things I had complete control over (eating well and within my calories), non weight goals (exercise and fitness related, like training for a race or increasing weights lifted or getting in a particular amount of exercise according to a plan), clothing goals (I had old jeans in the same brand and aimed to get in each smaller size), and also scale goals. I took some measurements and think that can be a good goal, but I was not consistent with it.
Realizing it's normal and okay to be imperfect (as you said, we all are), and feeling good because I was taking control and making progress for me actually came with getting active again and focusing on what my body could do and not just how it looked (even though at that point I realized I had more control over how my body looked than I had believed for a long time). I do think age helped me too.1 -
Thanks for the encouraging post! It is very easy to bring the focus to the negative and see only those “soft spots.” Let’s all be excellent to ourselves and to each other !5
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MFP moderator2 -
Even though I'm in the healthy weight range I must need to lose a little more. Moving gracefully has not happened.0
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