My date with the person above me was going great until...

I lifted and instead of spotting he went home

нe woυldn'т тell мe нιѕ нaιr dye.ѕecreтѕ

нe waѕ тнe тaхι drιver

the car only survived on sunlight..it was dusk when he arrived.

he wouldnt take his headphones off at the dinner table

I couldn’t keep straight which witch was which in the Wizard of Oz.

She hogged all the blood sausage

She scooped them up and ate them

She took her panty hose off in the restuarant and put them over her face and asked if I was in.

I pulled his finger and he sharted

He stood outside begging until he had enough for the bill

She left with the waiter, and I had to bus all the tables

She wouldn't come in for a night cap

I woke up naked in a corn field

Too many shenanigans!