Please help. I am getting obsessed and depressed.

I am sorry that you are suffering from such thoughts. I know that the depression and obsession is not an easy thing to deal with but at least you are noticing it and trying to find a way to over come it. I saw that you said your insurance wont cover mental health. I do not know you or your resources so all I can do is suggest what I would try if it was me. I would talk to your primary care doctor and see if they can suggest anything (dietitian or something maybe if there is one in their office) of some one you could talk to that could help you figure out a healthy way for losing the weight and be some one to talk to. Also maybe there is a support group you could join (those usually do not cost) or a form of counseling through a local group such as a church or something. I know that in my area there is a local church that has family support specialist that come out and help you with goals you may have and basically just sit and talk once a week. Also just talking to a friend or sometimes journaling your thoughts and feelings can help. I journal a lot to help with any depression when symptoms strike. And my friends on here have become a HUGE form of help with symptoms and obsession over my weight. I know it is not much but I hope it helps. I hope that things turn around from you. Feel free to add me and message me at any time for any reason weight related or not. I have been told I have a great listening ear (or eye in this case being on a computer). Wishing you all the best.

Hugs to you too. Remember, slow and steady wins the race, and one day at a time. Try not to overwhelm yourself with the really big picture. You're not doomed to live the life of your mother, you've already started to take different steps. And, yes, body dysmorphia is real, I agree with the advice to take pictures. Do little things that you may have forgotten, like drink 8 glasses of water a day, park the car further away then you normally would and get a few extra steps in. And remind yourself how smart you are!