Help I'm lost
harley79
Posts: 79 Member
Hi I'm back yet once again I'm 47 and I'm a mom and a wife I weigh 313 and just can't seem to stick to anything. I have done keto,Paleo,whole 30, WW blah blah I'm just starting to feel hopeless. I'm so confused as to what works I heard calories in vs calories out is all a myth
Tia Tammy
Tia Tammy
7
Replies
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It's not a myth, it's science. Start logging everything as accurately as possible and you'll see it works.16
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It's not a myth, it's science. Start logging everything as accurately as possible and you'll see it works.
Yup CICO is weight loss in it's simplest form. Log your foods correctly, don't cheat yourself, log literally anything that passes your lips, remain consistent and voila...fat loss.10 -
You can do it just change ur diet and workout moderately and you will see the pounds come off don’t give up set yourself a goal like lose a certain amount of weight for your 50th Bday just don’t give in2
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Calories in calories out...that's all you need to do. Try to choose foods rich in protein, fat, and fiber as they will satisfy you longer.6
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Don't give up! Read the sticky post at the top of the boards with the Most Helpful Posts. Put your stats in and start logging your food and hitting your goal. As you log, start to learn which foods fill you up, make you feel good, where you waste calories. Fit in your fave foods. Ask for help here when you need it. Good luck!4
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If CICO is a myth, does that mean I have to give back the 72 pounds I've lost by simply eating less calories than I expend? And not excluding any foods/entire food groups from my diet or eating like a monk?8
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Definitely not a myth. Just look in the Success Stories section of the board.
Take a couple days to just log everything you eat/drink currently. Be completely honest with yourself. Then look over your logs for things you can change. (Leaner cuts of meat, more veggies, ect.) Consider investing in a food scale. They are more accurate for solid foods than measuring cups (also less clean up). This tool improves the accuracy of your food logs. Avoid eyeballing portions. Even measuring cups are better than eyeballing portions. Find an exercise routine you enjoy. If you enjoy it you are more likely to stick with it. Double check database entries before adding them to the database. The database is mostly user created data and there are a lot of incorrect things in it. I've seen chicken entry that only had 1/3 the calories that are actually in it. Avoid " homemade - " and "generic-". You don't know what was used and what amounts were used so the calories could be vastly different from what you are actually eating. Have Patience. Weight loss takes time. Weight loss isn't linear. Some weeks you will see a big loss and some none at all. It's normal and doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong. Forgive yourself if you slip up. It's okay. Try to use it as a learning experience instead of using it as a way to put yourself down. We all make mistakes. It's how we learn and grow. 12 -
^^this is good advice. Log everything you eat or drink for a few days. Look at your log. What was really enjoyable and satisfying that didn't "cost" a lot of calories? What calories can you cut without cutting enjoyment? Make small adjustments. Don't try layering more changes on until the old changes become habit.
I'm a big believer that small things done consistently and faithfully over time make the biggest differences in life. Changing a lot of big things at once is a recipe for burn out.3 -
Named diets are hard to stick to, they're actually designed to fail you. They are also designed to make you doubt yourself and numb your critical thinking. To lose weight, you have to eat less, consistently, for real, and for a long, long time. It takes patience, commitment, confidence, awareness, learning new skills. I can understand you don't want to do that. But by calorie counting, you can eat less without feeling deprived, because you get to decide where to cut and what to keep. It puts you in charge, it depends on you to make all the choices and own them. It's so different that it can feel really scary at the same time it feels liberating. That's normal. Many great changes brings forth ambivalence.7
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I am so with you on this, especially this morning!
I need to lose a lot of weight, I'm currently 372lbs, I have tried WW, Slimming World (I'm in the UK), CICO, looked into Keto and nearly every plan I see where some has had success. I know in my heart that for me at my current weight, any one of these plans would work for me initially if I just stuck to them for more than five minutes!
I use MFP and then have a tantrum about having to weigh every... single... thing... surely eating should be easier than this??
I use WW, I had success on it years ago when they just counted calories and sat fat (lost 154lbs, put it back and more), but some little 'treaty' foods I like cost me dear.
I use SW and I get fed up of eggs and cooking, come home from work, throw a tantrum and order a takeout cos I am too lazy to cook!
So I go back to MFP and the circle begins again
I think I am too strict with 'sticking' to the plans, I am either 'on it' or completely 'off the reservation'
Maybe I need to change my weightloss to 1lb a week to give myself more room, maybe I should contemplate surgery, maybe I should stop having tantrums and put on my big girl pants and do something!
Either way, sorry for the long post, but bascially I feel you!5 -
You say you've tried everything? Why not try MFP? You're already here on the site.
I don't know who told you calories in, calories out doesn't work...was it someone who has been successful at weight loss and maintenance? Because I know quite a few "experts" who try to tell me all about how to do this but they have and still continue to struggle with their weight.
As someone who has successfully lost AND maintained that loss for almost 7 years and counting, I can assure you that actually adhering to the MFP method (which is based on calories in, calories out) will result in successful weight management. But you have to stick with it, no half-assing it...
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Your post spoke to me, I just have to make a few unsolicited comments:I'm currently 372lbs, I have tried WW, Slimming World (I'm in the UK), CICO, looked into Keto and nearly every plan I see where some has had success. I know in my heart that for me at my current weight, any one of these plans would work for me initially if I just stuck to them for more than five minutes!
I use MFP and then have a tantrum about having to weigh every... single... thing... surely eating should be easier than this??
I use WW, I had success on it years ago when they just counted calories and sat fat (lost 154lbs, put it back and more), but some little 'treaty' foods I like cost me dear.
I use SW and I get fed up of eggs and cooking, come home from work, throw a tantrum and order a takeout cos I am too lazy to cook!
So I go back to MFP and the circle begins again
I think I am too strict with 'sticking' to the plans, I am either 'on it' or completely 'off the reservation'
Maybe I need to change my weightloss to 1lb a week to give myself more room, maybe I should contemplate surgery, maybe I should stop having tantrums and put on my big girl pants and do something!
CICO is just calories in/calories out, and the process behind weight loss, gain and maintenance.
Any weight loss plan will work if it provides a calorie deficit and you stick to it. Any idiot can make a plan that provides a calorie deficit. It takes courage and commitment to stick to eating less. Don't try to follow an idiot plan! Your diet is just what you eat. Make your own meal plan.
Eating is really easy. That's why so many people are overweight.
Surgery just forces you to eat less.
Your goal when using MFP, isn't to weigh everything, but to consistently eat less.
If you regain, the weight loss plan isn't a success. Only staying at goal weight counts as successful weight loss.
Some little of anything is not enough to make you overweight - it takes consistent overeating for a long time.
In order to be able to eat less consistently, for real, and forever, you have to be kind to yourself. You have to eat food you like. If you think you can't eat food you like, you'll always be looking for ways to sabotage yourself. If you really want something, you plan for it. You can make tasty and healthy meals, quite fast and easy, if you have the ingredients ready in time.
Calling yourself lazy when you're in fact tired and don't see any ways out, is not being kind to yourself.
At your current weight, 2 pounds per week is a good goal. But you have to spend your calories strategically.12 -
Calories in/out is certainly NOT a myth. It works. It has worked for tens of 1000's of people.
Start consistently and accurately logging every single thing you eat, stay within yours allotted calories and weight loss WILL follow.
If you are finding your calorie allowance insufficient because you have set your calories to 2lb per week, change the settings to lose 1.5 or 1lb a week and just be prepared for the weight to come off but more slowly. Find something that you can stick to and success will follow. Be patient because its not going to happen in a few months, its going to take a few years but just think, that few years will seem a like short spell when you think in terms of the rest of your life being a healthier weight and hopefully more active.
All the best.1 -
I am so with you on this, especially this morning!
I need to lose a lot of weight, I'm currently 372lbs, I have tried WW, Slimming World (I'm in the UK), CICO, looked into Keto and nearly every plan I see where some has had success. I know in my heart that for me at my current weight, any one of these plans would work for me initially if I just stuck to them for more than five minutes!
I use MFP and then have a tantrum about having to weigh every... single... thing... surely eating should be easier than this??
I use WW, I had success on it years ago when they just counted calories and sat fat (lost 154lbs, put it back and more), but some little 'treaty' foods I like cost me dear.
I use SW and I get fed up of eggs and cooking, come home from work, throw a tantrum and order a takeout cos I am too lazy to cook!
So I go back to MFP and the circle begins again
I think I am too strict with 'sticking' to the plans, I am either 'on it' or completely 'off the reservation'
Maybe I need to change my weightloss to 1lb a week to give myself more room, maybe I should contemplate surgery, maybe I should stop having tantrums and put on my big girl pants and do something!
Either way, sorry for the long post, but bascially I feel you!
You might think weighing food is too much hassle, but what if doing that 2 min task is all it takes to get you losing weight? if you want something bad enough you will make the necessary changes and they needn't be huge changes either, small ones make the difference. In the beginning the weighing might seem like an effort but it really gets you thinking about portion sizes and realising how much you are eating. Reducing your intake a bit can make all the difference over time - and you'll be glad you did. All the best
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Jojidjude um you said everything I was thinking maybe we can be Fitness pal buddies even if it's for 5 min lol lol jk livingtheleandream is right it is a hassle but in the big scheme of things it really isn't -1
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Jojidjude um you said everything I was thinking maybe we can be Fitness pal buddies even if it's for 5 min lol lol jk livingtheleandream is right it is a hassle but in the big scheme of things it really isn't -
Honestly, weighing your food isn't a hassle even in the small scheme of things! It might take a bit of practice to get the hang of finding the right entries and recording accurately, but throwing a bowl on a scale and reading the number? Easy peasy!
There are some fantastic posts stickied around here. Read them and rejoice! Because this isn't half as hard as you seem to think it is 4 -
I am so with you and sending a friend request we are in the same boat -= I have tried it all and still fighting. So lets help each other.
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the body is not a calculatorand yes you cal lose weight at first eating less but it crushes your metabolism...if I did what mfp suggested I would gain weight! lol24
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Hi I'm back yet once again I'm 47 and I'm a mom and a wife I weigh 313 and just can't seem to stick to anything. I have done keto,Paleo,whole 30, WW blah blah I'm just starting to feel hopeless. I'm so confused as to what works I heard calories in vs calories out is all a myth
Tia Tammy
You probably can't stick to those diets because you don't like them and/or you are pursuing too steep of a calorie deficit in them. CICO solves both problems. You set custom calorie goal based on your personal stats and by choosing a reasonable, desirable weekly weight loss goal for you. At 313 lbs, 2 lbs a week is reasonable (a 1000 calorie deficit/day). But is that desirable to you? Would your willingness to stick with it increase if you only aim for 1.5 lbs/week (750 calorie deficit)? 1 lb/week (500 calorie deficit)? Then do that. Sure it will take longer, but here's another little secret- weight management takes forever. Literally. You'll be doing it the rest of your life, not just until the extra weight is gone, so do it in the easiest way possible for you.
Then there's the diet itself. Again, the key is to make it the easiest & simplest *for you*. Aim for a balanced diet that doesn't deprive you of things you love (although some have certain *trigger* foods that initially they may find easier just to avoid, but you don't want to build an entire diet that way). Focus on accurate logging (there are posts on this in the stickies). Over time, you will learn what foods are best at keeping you happy & satisfied and which ones just don't seem to be worth the calories anymore. You will come to appreciate that this isn't a short-term weight loss project but a life-long goal that has lots of room for error, so one day of lost focus or a splurge for a special event is no reason to throw in the towel.
CICO is for you! 2 -
Shugahhfatt wrote: »the body is not a calculatorand yes you cal lose weight at first eating less but it crushes your metabolism...if I did what mfp suggested I would gain weight! lol
OP, I just want to point out that the "woo" button is a bad thing- basically unscientific- not "Woohoo! What an awesome comment!"
Can someone post that chart that breaks down how different diets cause you to lose weight?7 -
Found it 11 -
I thought weight loss was a mystery too until I finally decided to give MFP a real shot. I also thought weighing my food was woo. So I just started logging every meal to get a rough idea of how much I was actually eating. I didn't get a food scale at first because that sounded nuts. After roughly logging for a couple weeks I was surprised with how much I was actually eating and I just naturally wanted to eat less. The weight started to come off just by a little cutting back which gave me motivation to keep logging. Then it started to become annoying trying to figure out how many ounces of cheese I was eating. I found a food scale for $10 and figured what the heck, even if I just weigh my cheese one time it'll be an interesting experiment. Once I had the scale I was curious about a lot more than cheese weights. I discovered that weighing your food is really no big deal and that $10 was the best investment I've ever made. I don't weigh everything because I eat out a lot, but I weigh when I can and it really helps determine portion sizes. I've now lost 30 lbs in 3 months. It wasn't magic. I didn't cut out food groups. I don't even work out. I just ate less than I burned. Ignore people like Shugahhfatt who say CICO doesn't work. Note he says "if I did what mfp suggested." He clearly hasn't given it a chance. There is some research that shows that your metabolism can slow eating at a deficit, but it doesn't stop, and eating at maintenance for a while seems to reverse this. Moreover, all diets require eating at a deficit, so that will happen no matter what plan you use if you want to lose weight. So why not give a real shot to one that will cost you around $10?5
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I have done keto,Paleo,whole 30, WW blah blah
All due respect - this is what's wrong with your diet. If I had to bet these "diets" did not teach you how to actually eat healthy. If someone does that portion of the "diet" for you and just flat out tells you what to eat - then you are doomed to fail. You HAVE TO know what your body is going to do when you eat certain things. That is precisely where MyFitnessPal comes in. If you log every single thing you put in your mouth, its almost guaranteed that you will lose weight. (Of course this excludes a certain few people with outlier genetics and various other conditions).
You don't even have to have a diet in mind. Just start logging what you are eating and weigh yourself REGULARLY. You will start to see trends. IE: Yesterday and the day before I ate a bunch of crap, went over my calorie goal and now I'm up 1-2 pounds. IE: I did really good on my calorie goal for the last 2 weeks and I'm down 3 pounds!
Things that have taken me a long time to learn:- Forgive yourself for screwing up.
- It's okay to crave and eat things that are bad for you (just dont do it regularly)
- Weight loss takes a long time.
- Motivation is fleeting. Fight through your desperation.
- You WILL GAIN WEIGHT BACK. It's ok. We all do. It's ok. It's ok. It's ok. You can lose it again. Don't give up.
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To the OP: You have to REALLY want to lose weight before you will make the changes you need to lose weight. Even starting with very small changes will help. Don't bring food that you don't want to eat into the house. What one junk food would cut the most from your calories if you gave it up? Just something to think about. I wish you well.3
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There is some research that shows that your metabolism can slow eating at a deficit, but it doesn't stop, and eating at maintenance for a while seems to reverse this.
I think it would also be useful to consider how much slowing we're talking about here. I haven't seen the research but I anticipate it would be less than 300 calories a day, tops. So, one muffin or so. Not a big deal.
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adambrown01 wrote: »
I just have to point out, for the benefit of all lurkers, that any weight gain a person experiences in 1 or 2 days of overindulgence is not fat. It is water retention from the sudden influx of sodium & carbs and the extra volume in your gut. It goes away on it's own in a few days. I hate when people "fall off the wagon" one day or a weekend, see the scale go up, and assume they've ruined their progress.
Sorry- just a pet peeve of mine.12 -
brendanwhite84 wrote: »There is some research that shows that your metabolism can slow eating at a deficit, but it doesn't stop, and eating at maintenance for a while seems to reverse this.
I think it would also be useful to consider how much slowing we're talking about here. I haven't seen the research but I anticipate it would be less than 300 calories a day, tops. So, one muffin or so. Not a big deal.
That amount is about right for people who just restricted calories and people on a very low calorie diet. The people who lost with exercise and less restriction actually showed less decrease in their metabolism.
ETA: Although in the most current study they applied about 33% calorie restriction for two weeks, and then maintenance for two weeks (over a period of something like 30 weeks w/out exercise as I understand it) showed that the reduction in metabolism completely reversed. So diet breaks FTW.0 -
...maybe I should contemplate surgery...
Please don't. This follows the same fallacy as all of the named diets. You are being tricked into losing weight by taking a short cut. Your body will be losing weight because you have surgically altered your intestines. Then what happens? You still don't know how to diet after you have the band taken out and you gain your weight back. My own mother has had 3 surgeries to lose weight and she gained it back every time. Now, FINALLY, she is just dieting and counting calories and she is down 50 pounds and keeping it off by being smart and not lazy.maybe I should stop having tantrums and put on my big girl pants and do something!
Yep. You should. Seems to me you know in the back of your head what you should do. You just don't want to do it. Educate yourself about what you're getting into. You know how to use MFP to log your food but you get upset when using it because.... why? Because you're eating really complicated meals with a ton of ingredients and it takes a really long time to log your food and create recipes? Well, eat simpler recipes then. Is it because you're weighing your food and portioning sizes and you spend hours and hours in the kitchen? Well, eat simpler recipes then.
The trend I'm seeing here from your post is that you lose your patience. Then be smart about why you are failing and find a way to keep going. Ask for help instead of giving up. Also please quit subscribing to fad diets - I promise they will let you down.
(PS: sorry for taking a post to detract from the OP).2 -
adambrown01 wrote: »I have done keto,Paleo,whole 30, WW blah blah
All due respect - this is what's wrong with your diet. If I had to bet these "diets" did not teach you how to actually eat healthy. If someone does that portion of the "diet" for you and just flat out tells you what to eat - then you are doomed to fail. You HAVE TO know what your body is going to do when you eat certain things. That is precisely where MyFitnessPal comes in. If you log every single thing you put in your mouth, its almost guaranteed that you will lose weight. (Of course this excludes a certain few people with outlier genetics and various other conditions).
You don't even have to have a diet in mind. Just start logging what you are eating and weigh yourself REGULARLY. You will start to see trends. IE: Yesterday and the day before I ate a bunch of crap, went over my calorie goal and now I'm up 1-2 pounds. IE: I did really good on my calorie goal for the last 2 weeks and I'm down 3 pounds!
Things that have taken me a long time to learn:- Forgive yourself for screwing up.
- It's okay to crave and eat things that are bad for you (just dont do it regularly)
- Weight loss takes a long time.
- Motivation is fleeting. Fight through your desperation.
- You WILL GAIN WEIGHT BACK. It's ok. We all do. It's ok. It's ok. It's ok. You can lose it again. Don't give up.
Just correcting your last point: you will gain weight back IF you return to your old eating ways. There are many people on here who have maintained their losses for years because they learned how to eat the fewer calories their body now requires.5 -
As others have said, CICO isn't a plan, it's a description of the physics behind weights loss. If you burn more calories than you eat you will lose weight. Nutrition is a completely different subject, and that's where all the diet plans come in. Some foods are going to make you feel better than other foods. Unfortunate lay popular plans like Keto, Paleo, Mediterranean etc tend to be one size fits all, and expensive and difficult to maintain. But they do sell books, and in many cases do help you learn to make better food choices in the long run. There's no denying that salmon and fresh vegatables are going to be nutritionally better than potato chips and corn dogs.
But it can all be very overwhelming, and trying to do it all at once is a recipe for failure. I suggest logging for a while, even before na6king any serious changes to your diet.
Weigh (with a scale is best) everything you eat, why you are eating it (i.e, lunchtime, hungry, kindof bored, out with friends, watching tv) and how you are feeling right before, right after and an hour after (hungry, comfortable, normal, full, very full bloated, drowsy).
This give's you a baseline pattern for your normal habits and routine. From there, it's just a matter of experimenting. Are you very full after dinner? Cut back on a few things. Does lunch leave you bloated and gassy after an hour, try less or no mayo, abd see if there's something you don't mind dropping each meal (fries, or cheese, or maybe only 2 tacos instead of 3).It's amazing how quickly these small and easily sustainable changes will add up to big calorie cuts. Only cut one or two things at a time, until they become habit though. That way they become individual habits instead of one big "diet". So when you backslide you won't drop everything at once, just one or two habits, that you can fix again more wasily.
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