Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
Replies
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »islandbeez wrote: »You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>
Also, men were predominantly the heavy drinkers for decades and now women drinking has increased considerably, along with the elderly. It's scary, all these cute little wine sayings we laugh at and yet the effects of alcohol abuse hit women earlier. I just threw out my cute little wall hanging it said, "Wine a bit, you'll feel better". My mom gave it to me. She has never been a drinker and is very intolerant of drinkers....yet she got it for me? Messed up AF!
I recently threw away two of those wooden little signs like "Wine is better with friends" or or something like that. I realized it was sending a negative message to my teenagers. I don't want them to think you can only have fun drinking. Makes me regret all the parties we've had where people were shouting happily and doing shots, and the kids would be there. Ugh. I cringe now at those memories.
Yes! The example for my small kids is like my number one driver. When your kids ask you if you need wine at the store when there is none in your cart, I think theirs a problem. I don’t want them to remember me with a glass of wine in my hand every evening. Sure, occasionally is ok, but I want them to see me as a sparkling water and tea mom instead of a wine mom
January was great for changing everything. 4 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »JulieAL1969 wrote: »islandbeez wrote: »You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>
Also, men were predominantly the heavy drinkers for decades and now women drinking has increased considerably, along with the elderly. It's scary, all these cute little wine sayings we laugh at and yet the effects of alcohol abuse hit women earlier. I just threw out my cute little wall hanging it said, "Wine a bit, you'll feel better". My mom gave it to me. She has never been a drinker and is very intolerant of drinkers....yet she got it for me? Messed up AF!
I recently threw away two of those wooden little signs like "Wine is better with friends" or or something like that. I realized it was sending a negative message to my teenagers. I don't want them to think you can only have fun drinking. Makes me regret all the parties we've had where people were shouting happily and doing shots, and the kids would be there. Ugh. I cringe now at those memories.
Yes! The example for my small kids is like my number one driver. When your kids ask you if you need wine at the store when there is none in your cart, I think theirs a problem. I don’t want them to remember me with a glass of wine in my hand every evening. Sure, occasionally is ok, but I want them to see me as a sparkling water and tea mom instead of a wine mom January was great for changing everything.
My kids tease me, as does my husband - about needing a glass of wine when I get agitated. I also want to subtly change their perception without it being a big deal. I still intend to enjoy my wine, in moderation, but I don't want it to be seen as "mommy's sippy cup" or "mommy's stress relief". I've been making a point about how much I enjoy my tea -but also not making a big deal about cutting back on alcohol, because I don't want them to think there was something to be concerned about.6 -
lporter229 wrote: »springsweet wrote: »And thank you for letting me vent here. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this who understands, so this place is very helpful.
Vent away. I totally get where you are coming from. I have struggled with these same dilemmas myself, as I would guess many of us have. I have found that having a solid plan in advance and sticking to it has been working for me right now. In the past when I have tried to limit my drinking, it was always pretty arbitrary in terms of how much I was going to drink once I started. I would tell myself that I wasn't going to drink much, but without having that pre-defined limit etched in my brain, I would almost always blow it out of the water. I know that once I go past that second drink, it's over. So I decide in advance...one drink or two drinks. If it's going to be a long evening out and I can space them out well, then I will allow myself a third, as long as I know that I am still in control. I have managed to keep this up throughout January and so far this month and I feel really good about the progress I have made... and this thread has been a huge help. I am hoping I can continue on this path of moderation. It has been nice to not have any hangovers in over 5 weeks.
I am not sure if this type of plan will work for you or not. I guess it is very individual what each of us hopes to get out of this "experiment", as you said. Wishing you the best however you decide to proceed. This group is always here for you to offer encouragement from all places along the spectrum. *hugs*
I think that's exactly how I'm going to proceed. I mean, I don't have a wedding to attend every weekend thank god. So that was a special event. Moving forward in normal life, I'm pretty sure I can hold it together. But I agree with you, lporter, deciding how much I will have before even going out will help me in the future.2 -
WOW....this group is really growing and everyones input is very moving.
Have to admit I do not like any wine so that is never a problem for me. Mimosas yes because the champagne is combined with orange juice in the glass. This morning as was Googling mocktails. An ad popped up on my page for an app you can get on your phone that lets you know about drinks to order with more "buzz" and less calories. REALLY?? That's just what we all don't' need.
As far as the ratio of women to men. I have been on other threads for fitness workouts and there were always more women then men. Unless it was a thread started by a man. But for sure I don't believe one gender or the other is worse off by alcohol. There is a great song by Highway 101, "Whiskey, if you were a woman". There were many times with my first husband and his drinking I would get in my car and just drive for hours playing and singing that song in my car.2 -
PhotogirlTX wrote: »I ordered a bottle of San Pellegrino sparkling water, with limes and ice. We shared the whole bottle.. and dressing it up with lime in a cute little glass made it feel special. We didn't miss the wine at all.
Wow, that's impressive. I'm going to steal that idea - nice going!
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My phone has been acting up for the last few days so I couldn't get here. So far February is a fail for me. I've gone over my limit every day.
I am finding that if I'm hungry I drink more. I'll just have to fill up I guess! Anyway I'm happy I got back here, hopefully I can get here regularly again! 6 -
springsweet wrote: »And thank you for letting me vent here. I don't feel like I have anyone to talk to about this who understands, so this place is very helpful.
sounds like a tough weekend. I think you are asking the right questions and have good insights about yourself and your drinking. don't get discouraged. you'll get there. take care.4 -
I'm in. Yall have my support. Alcohol has contributed to a lot of excess calories and excess toxic waste in my body. I'm tired of it and I'm actively making a change. Had one drink all week which I think is good for right now. I used to have wine every night, and more than one glass. I'm not doing that to myself any more. Once a week for a while until I can cut it back even further.6
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SanDiegofitmom wrote: »You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>
Hm, interesting post! A lot of the men I know don’t think their drinking is a problem - I feel like the health aspects of drinking are being more targeted toward women now (for example the breast cancer link) and it’s true that studies show alcohol more adversely effects women than men. And yes, I do think women are more apt to share their struggles. My husband keeps everything in and would Never post on a board like this. But I definitely don’t think it’s that more women struggle than men.
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lporter229 wrote: »
I don't really know that it's either. I think that when they are facing a difficult task, women are more likely to seek the support of others who are struggling with the same issues, where as men are more likely to try and go at it alone or confide in somebody really close to them. In my experience, men are less likely to admit their vulnerabilities to strangers.You guys want some controversy? Look away now.....
Why are there more women than men in here? Do women have more issues with alcohol, or are they more open to making a positive lifestyle change.
< Takes cover>1 -
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@louisepaul16 I'm wondering myself if my weekend drinking is just going to make it harder. I was dry all through Jan and then drank Fri-Sun. I found it a little hard to get back on track yesterday, but did. Just switched back to tea and it wasn't bad, but still it was a little tough. Just pondering what it's going to take to be "moderate."
I am worried about that with myself. I am almost scared to take the first sip after all this time since Jan. 1st. I'm wondering if I am better off just not drinking and then I wont have to worry about it. Let me know how it goes after being dry back to moderating. Wishing you well:)5 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »I am worried about that with myself. I am almost scared to take the first sip after all this time since Jan. 1st. I'm wondering if I am better off just not drinking and then I wont have to worry about it. Let me know how it goes after being dry back to moderating. Wishing you well:)
On another board someone called alcohol a wolf waiting in the woods. It waited 17 years and it got her again. She ended her story with this, "It is easier to stay out, than to get out."
I have been repeating that to myself all day and hope I am able to stay out permanently.
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I been struggling too a bit. I had beer last Friday. Since then I been thinking about it again. I opened the door by only doing Dry January. I need to work hard to switch to longer abstinence as I feel I might drink again.13
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6/6 here and going strong. Major victory this evening by going to grocery store with my hubs and as I passed by the liquor department he followed me. Neither of us saying anything just continuing to get the rest of the groceries!7
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@islandbeez That quote is BRILLIANT. I will try to keep that wolf in the woods analogy in my mind. I was meeting 2 friends for lunch today and we ALWAYS drink wine, usually 2 bottles between the 3 of us. I was nervous about my resolve to stay dry falling apart. I had told one of the girls yesterday I was trying to have a dry February. When I got to the restaurant I saw they each had seltzers and cranberries in front of them and no wine. They said, "yeah we decided we could have a dry lunch with you. It will be good for us." It was really sweet of them. We were shocked by the bill being 1/3 of the usual amount. Another bonus! And, I get to put another sticker on my sobriety chart tonight. I'm happy.
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islandbeez wrote: »JulieAL1969 wrote: »I am worried about that with myself. I am almost scared to take the first sip after all this time since Jan. 1st. I'm wondering if I am better off just not drinking and then I wont have to worry about it. Let me know how it goes after being dry back to moderating. Wishing you well:)
On another board someone called alcohol a wolf waiting in the woods. It waited 17 years and it got her again. She ended her story with this, "It is easier to stay out, than to get out."
I have been repeating that to myself all day and hope I am able to stay out permanently.
Amazing quote! I will write that down. I believe it. I know that wolf can bite me if i let my guard down. We've worked too hard to let that happen. Thank you so much for sharing!
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Those are some wonderful, true friends! Such supportive friends!@islandbeez That quote is BRILLIANT. I will try to keep that wolf in the woods analogy in my mind. I was meeting 2 friends for lunch today and we ALWAYS drink wine, usually 2 bottles between the 3 of us. I was nervous about my resolve to stay dry falling apart. I had told one of the girls yesterday I was trying to have a dry February. When I got to the restaurant I saw they each had seltzers and cranberries in front of them and no wine. They said, "yeah we decided we could have a dry lunch with you. It will be good for us." It was really sweet of them. We were shocked by the bill being 1/3 of the usual amount. Another bonus! And, I get to put another sticker on my sobriety chart tonight. I'm happy.
Tomorrow, I'll be meeting my two friends for our monthly wine and appetizers after work. We didnt meet last month, so this will be the first month that I am dry and meeting them. I will be fine, and just eat some delicious appetizers.I thought that maybe I'll see if this restaurant has delicious coffees (cappuccino) and try that treat.
Love your sticker chart! Visuals are great reminders and there is satisfaction with seeing those stickers add up.
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Before I go to bed, I try to read a blog or article about being alcohol free. One of my fav sites is psychologytoday.com.
Here's a good link for people (like me) who are worried about a relapse. It says that now the studies have shown even if someone relapses, it is not viewed as a failure. It is viewed as another step in the learning process. Relapses provide useful information. It says once addiction has set in, it takes the form of a chronic illness. (Like the wolf analogy in previous post). And a relapse provides an opportunity learn better techniques for overcoming or resisting urges.
Good night , my friends. I think that's enough heavy stuff from me today. I'll give my brain a break:) xo
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201007/the-new-quitter8 -
Another day without wineries (wine calories). Yay me!8
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »Before I go to bed, I try to read a blog or article about being alcohol free. One of my fav sites is psychologytoday.com.
Here's a good link for people (like me) who are worried about a relapse. It says that now the studies have shown even if someone relapses, it is not viewed as a failure. It is viewed as another step in the learning process. Relapses provide useful information. It says once addiction has set in, it takes the form of a chronic illness. (Like the wolf analogy in previous post). And a relapse provides an opportunity learn better techniques for overcoming or resisting urges.
Good night , my friends. I think that's enough heavy stuff from me today. I'll give my brain a break:) xo
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201007/the-new-quitter
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JulieAL1969 wrote: »Before I go to bed, I try to read a blog or article about being alcohol free. One of my fav sites is psychologytoday.com.
Here's a good link for people (like me) who are worried about a relapse. It says that now the studies have shown even if someone relapses, it is not viewed as a failure. It is viewed as another step in the learning process. Relapses provide useful information. It says once addiction has set in, it takes the form of a chronic illness. (Like the wolf analogy in previous post). And a relapse provides an opportunity learn better techniques for overcoming or resisting urges.
Good night , my friends. I think that's enough heavy stuff from me today. I'll give my brain a break:) xo
https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201007/the-new-quitter
Thank you for that Julie! I was beating myself up instead of looking at how much success I've had in the last year. Its not failure if you overcome it.5 -
Day 1 of this challenge for me. I am inspired by all y'all!
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So I had wine on saturday and sunday, much less then I usually have and really happy about it, nothing on Monday & Tuesday so far and I lost 1.8lbs since.10
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Feb. 01 - no
Feb. 02Fri- yes
Feb. 03Sat - no
Feb. 04-yes
Feb. 05- no
Feb. 06-no
Feb. 07- dont plan too-
28.6 % - still enjoy doing this percentage really keeps me motivated to see this number below 50%4 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »I am worried about that with myself. I am almost scared to take the first sip after all this time since Jan. 1st. I'm wondering if I am better off just not drinking and then I wont have to worry about it. Let me know how it goes after being dry back to moderating. Wishing you well:)
@JulieAL1969 - I know what you mean. This is dry day 3 after drinking over the weekend. I'm getting together with some girlfriends tonight and we have always drunk wine in the past, me to excess, typically. So, tonight will be harder than the past two, when I had nothing going on. One of my friends lost her job yesterday, so there's going to be some drunken commiserating, I know. Making a plan to bring my tea in my sippy cup and maybe a can of diet gingerale as well. Huge respect to you, BTW, for getting through that weekend with your girlfriends! THAT is tough.
Bottom line right now is that I found it a bit tough to get back to being dry after a weekend of drinking. And I didn't think much of that weekend drinking was worth it in retrospect. I know myself, and one glass is rarely enough. I was happy that I had one glass on Saturday afternoon when my husband and I went out. I'd like to stick to that pattern, instead of three glasses and beyond, which I'm prone to do.
You continue to be my role model!
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Back on the wagon! No wine last night. Had water, and did my laundry to keep myself busy. Went to bed early so that we could go on an early morning run.
We ran 3.6 miles! Mostly ran anyways
It felt amazing! So much better than any glass of wine.
I was down 1.2 pounds. I think its a scale trick.4 -
Bottom line right now is that I found it a bit tough to get back to being dry after a weekend of drinking. And I didn't think much of that weekend drinking was worth it in retrospect. I know myself, and one glass is rarely enough. I was happy that I had one glass on Saturday afternoon when my husband and I went out. I'd like to stick to that pattern, instead of three glasses and beyond, which I'm prone to do.
@kittyben Same with me ... it's the winding down after that seems to be tough.... I've always been kind of easy on myself ... that's why I didn't start dry Jan until the 2nd! Once there is a few AF nights in the bag, I'm less likely to want to drink, and when I do I wonder why I did, lol! Though, in the past, when I have been able to enjoy one glass of wine only, I'm right proud of myself, as you should be!3 -
Is Rum and Rasin choc counted, it probably the only next thing i have a weakness for ...
The trouble is it may start something
1
i like it!! 
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