Less alcohol- February 2018- one day at a time
Replies
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Wow, has this thread picked up steam! Awesome...
I am curious to view on this question. For those who are not planning on quitting long term - what is your definition of successful / sustainable moderation?
I consider myself having a 'healthy' relationship with alcohol (beer). For probably the last 8-10 years, I never (and can't) drink until I'm drunk. I have never in my life blacked out from too much. At this stage of my life, it is a exceedingly rare occasion I ever make it past two drinks in a day. If I do, I don't desire the taste again for a month or so.
My definition today is as it has always been.. knowing when to turn it off, knowing when to dial it back and knowing when to enjoy.
What is your "happy place" for successful / sustainable moderation. How will you know you've reached it?
2 -
Wow, has this thread picked up steam! Awesome...
I am curious to view on this question. For those who are not planning on quitting long term - what is your definition of successful / sustainable moderation?
I consider myself having a 'healthy' relationship with alcohol (beer). For probably the last 8-10 years, I never (and can't) drink until I'm drunk. I have never in my life blacked out from too much. At this stage of my life, it is a exceedingly rare occasion I ever make it past two drinks in a day. If I do, I don't desire the taste again for a month or so.
My definition today is as it has always been.. knowing when to turn it off, knowing when to dial it back and knowing when to enjoy.
What is your "happy place" for successful / sustainable moderation. How will you know you've reached it?
This is a great question. For me if I have more than 3 drinks and start smoking than that is a bad drinking binge. If I have 2 drinks get a little buzz on and STOP then be able to get up the next day without a hangover and go to the gym then that is great moderation for me and is sustainable. I am working towards that because once I get that buzz I keep going and going then the smoking begins and then hangover and then I sleep the day away. That is not good for me!5 -
@justlog that IS a good question. For me it’s to stop at 2 drinks. 2 I think is fair, most people rarely go out for just one, but two you can make last a while, and people won’t encourage you to drink more if you have two rather than one. I feel like I’ve had some alcohol, but not tipsy or drunk, and two is ok in my opinion (as long as you’re not driving!)
I’m going to try not to drink during the week, only on weekends, and stick to soft drinks if I go out for a “drink” during the week. I think that’s sustainable long term.7 -
All such great reading today. Thanks to everyone for digging so deep within yourselves and keeping on course...what ever your course maybe.
In reference to the "My Happy Place" question~~~~ mine is limiting to one drink. I know this to be so true. Two drinks start to feel good and then by three drinks the party would be on a roll. And more than not it would be rolling down hill.4 -
Wow, has this thread picked up steam! Awesome...
I am curious to view on this question. For those who are not planning on quitting long term - what is your definition of successful / sustainable moderation?
I consider myself having a 'healthy' relationship with alcohol (beer). For probably the last 8-10 years, I never (and can't) drink until I'm drunk. I have never in my life blacked out from too much. At this stage of my life, it is a exceedingly rare occasion I ever make it past two drinks in a day. If I do, I don't desire the taste again for a month or so.
My definition today is as it has always been.. knowing when to turn it off, knowing when to dial it back and knowing when to enjoy.
What is your "happy place" for successful / sustainable moderation. How will you know you've reached it?
My definition is pretty much the same as yours and that is what I am striving for. I know that more than two drinks in a relatively short time period and I am past the point of no return, and that is what I am trying to eliminate. I need to be in control of my drinking and not the other way around.
I have set my target limits based on what I have read to be a "reasonable" amount of alcohol for women: No more than 7 drinks per week with no more than 3 drinks in one day. So far (since Jan 1), I have been doing pretty well with this. I averaged one drink per day in January. I had one day that I had 4 drinks, but it was over the course of a long day, so I am not beating myself up over it. The bottom line is that so far I have been able to drink without getting drunk, have been able to account for all of my drinks (without having to examine the wine bottle the next day!), and have not had any hangovers. I am only hoping that I can continue on this path. I do not want to believe that my relationship with alcohol has to be all or nothing. So, until I have proven otherwise, I will have to just assume that I am in my happy place.6 -
Wow, has this thread picked up steam! Awesome...
I am curious to view on this question. For those who are not planning on quitting long term - what is your definition of successful / sustainable moderation?
I consider myself having a 'healthy' relationship with alcohol (beer). For probably the last 8-10 years, I never (and can't) drink until I'm drunk. I have never in my life blacked out from too much. At this stage of my life, it is a exceedingly rare occasion I ever make it past two drinks in a day. If I do, I don't desire the taste again for a month or so.
My definition today is as it has always been.. knowing when to turn it off, knowing when to dial it back and knowing when to enjoy.
What is your "happy place" for successful / sustainable moderation. How will you know you've reached it?
When my drinking no longer affects my work.
Is my main one. I no longer go to work hungover and in the long haul it saves me money.
I only plan to drink Fri/Sat.. and maybe Sun... otherwise not a drop as I can never just have one.
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RE "Sustainable moderation." Great question.
The recommendation from the CDC is less than 2 standard drinks per day for men and (sorry female friends) 1 for women. (These recommendations are highly debatable and should depend also on age, weight, and many other factors. They are trying to keep it simple.)
I love the concept of having just one alcoholic drink in an evening, but I have rarely done it because I just don't find it very satisfying. It just leaves me wanting more!
I do not plan to be dry forever; however, and I do not want to slip back into drinking daily or even weekly. So, I am considering on what occasions I will drink in moderation. I haven't really decided, but I might shoot for less than once a month, perhaps.5 -
I've been dropping alcohol for a couple of months now by replacing it will alcohol free wine and you might think well what's the point but here's the thing I believe half the thing is, sitting and feeling like your having a drink even though you are not. On a Friday I open a alcohol free bottle of chardonnay sit back and chill, in the knowledge there will be no headache to follow. I love it ....tastes like..... looks like and at 28 cals a glass well what's not to love. Tescos Eisenberg red, white and rose (not tried the red yet) I've got to the point now I prefer it to the real McCoy because it's just not worth the headache.10
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7/7 I’m feeling accomplished again today. Hubs decided to stay sober again with me this evening!
Week nights before were always ruled by will I workout or not. Well depended on what time I wanted to start drinking. I noticed more and more in the last year, I would start drinking earlier and earlier to where my workout would be eventually pushed completely aside.
I’m going to make my evening rule around my workout again and not the drink.6 -
Wow - everyone is doing so great!9
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Day 8 and loving it, I'm sleeping so well! Unfortunately, I had hoped it would help with the vertigo I've been experiencing, but apparently not - that's still there in full force.5
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I think I've reached my happy place these past few weeks. I know it sounds weird, but when I drank I would worry in advance if I knew I was going out to bars with my friends. I would worry and pray that I wouldnt drink too much and get sick, hungover, or ruin the next day. I would then negotiate with myself the few days before of how much I was going to allow myself. I'd even write "club soda" on my hand so I could see it, and tell my friends to make me drink water between drinks; I put too much worry and effort in moderating before Jan. 1st. Because once I hit past two drinks, I could not turn it off.
Now, I am in my happy place. For me, I feel so much better just simply knowing I wont drink. I wont take a sip. No negotiation , worry or anxiety about how much is too much. It's all too much for me, I'm afraid. So, I will just be content and happy not drinking, but not begrudge my husband or friends if they do.
I know alcohol for me is like the wolf in the woods waiting (great quote on this thread) . And I know I may stumble and drink again. I do miss it when I'm out, and for now, it's not nearly as much fun going out and be the only one not drinking. But I think I will get used to being social and yet not drink.
This thread is my life line. Thank you all for the tips and thought provoking questions and comments. Xo15 -
Well, I better fess up! I caved tonight....I'm in so much pain in my neck and back and I know the only thing that works for the muscle spasms is some alcohol. I tried heat, ice and advil to no avail. I know the alcohol will work though. Ugh.....Back to AF tomorrow.
In response to the above. I don't drink to feeling drunk or having blackouts or hangovers but I still feel it's an issue that I need to overcome as I just generally feel like Shiit!!6 -
JulieAL1969 wrote: »I think I've reached my happy place these past few weeks. I know it sounds weird, but when I drank I would worry in advance if I knew I was going out to bars with my friends. I would worry and pray that I wouldnt drink too much and get sick, hungover, or ruin the next day. I would then negotiate with myself the few days before of how much I was going to allow myself. I'd even write "club soda" on my hand so I could see it, and tell my friends to make me drink water between drinks; I put too much worry and effort in moderating before Jan. 1st. Because once I hit past two drinks, I could not turn it off.
Now, I am in my happy place. For me, I feel so much better just simply knowing I wont drink. I wont take a sip. No negotiation , worry or anxiety about how much is too much. It's all too much for me, I'm afraid. So, I will just be content and happy not drinking, but not begrudge my husband or friends if they do.
I know alcohol for me is like the wolf in the woods waiting (great quote on this thread) . And I know I may stumble and drink again. I do miss it when I'm out, and for now, it's not nearly as much fun going out and be the only one not drinking. But I think I will get used to being social and yet not drink.
This thread is my life line. Thank you all for the tips and thought provoking questions and comments. Xo
I can't wait until I get to that place where I dont feel anxiety about hanging out with friends at a bar or dinner. And going through the mental struggle of should i drink not drink how much to drink.....4 -
Old Soaker Blueberry Soda in a stem glass. No questions, no strange looks and no hassles. Guess they all assumed it was red wine (lol and I don't even drink wine)
Thanks bartender for being my hero.5 -
Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Another day without wineries (wine calories). Yay me!
And another day down. Whoot!4 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Day 8 and loving it, I'm sleeping so well! Unfortunately, I had hoped it would help with the vertigo I've been experiencing, but apparently not - that's still there in full force.
When I had the vertigo badly I had the same hope. Sorry it's not helping your either.3 -
Went to a new bible study w some moms I met through my kids school - I was thinking weds will be great, and alcohol free. Nope they broke out the wine lol. I didn’t have any but it was pretty funny. And pretty much all the women there (late 30s early 40s) I think are pretty regular drinkers - probably not heavy but frequent. It’s a wine wine world it feels like.
Three great thing was that before Dry January I would have never turned down wine! But I didn’t feel like it!5 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »
Ha! I drank more than I planned. Not terrible but looking forward to a nice dry workweekWon't bore you with details, but things went completely off the rails yesterday at the Super Bowl gathering I went too. Wayyyyy too much eating and drinking. I'm not gonna dwell on it. Today's another day. My goal was to stay dry Mon-Thurs so here we go!
you’re not alone!
Also, I woke up a ton last night and thought “drinking is dumb” ha
Pretty much any time i over-do alcohol i do the exact same thing. Spend half the night in a mental loop thinking: "Alcohol is dumb. I am dumb. Did i say/do something dumb? Why was that extra glass or two neccesary? What a waste."
Nights i dont drink or drink a moderate amount-no such negative thinking or feeling!
On the days i plan to drink now i try to really focus on that aspect before i even pour a glass. I try to remind myself that i want to enjoy alcohol to feel happy/fun/fine/in control and REMEMBER my fun times with friends etc.
I planned to, and did drink a fair bit at superbowl party over many hours but literally remembered every 1:1 conversation i had with about 20-30 different friends. And i left before the "after party" which was crucial to me staying in control and getting a normal night of sleep. No negative loop of regret.
Now to stay on the sober streak for a few days. This is getting (a little) easier with each success.
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Yesterday was a rough day after the day at work just prior being somewhat rough. I did not drink, however!! I always want to drink when there is about 10 inches of snow and sleet coming down. I just feel there is instant work to clear the driveway I guess. I had to drive in it yesterday and then Dad found out he needs a stent in one 80% blocked heart artery to open it up. He also has other blocked ones that aren't as bad. He is 80. Now off to work soon. Praying for a better day there, but I do know I have to leave that place. I did allow myself a piece of pizza yesterday, but calories were in line! If I was drinking, I would have doubled my calorie goal easily and eaten another piece with a blink of my eye. I am learning to deal with life again without drinking...10
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@salleewins WTG staying strong with all that stress! We have a ton of snow coming our way tomorrow and that would normally be an event I had an extra bottle of wine on hand for. No way I am even considering that now. I am sorry about your Dad, glad they found it and can fix it! Just breathe 5
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Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Sabine_Stroehm wrote: »Another day without wineries (wine calories). Yay me!
And another day down. Whoot!
Great job! I love "wineries" and "menopot"!2 -
Alatariel75 wrote: »Day 8 and loving it, I'm sleeping so well! Unfortunately, I had hoped it would help with the vertigo I've been experiencing, but apparently not - that's still there in full force.
Vertigo (dizziness) is an absolute scourge! I have had it (mostly now gone) and so many of my peers talk about it. I found these short articles somewhat helpful:
https://nyti.ms/2kd503e
https://nyti.ms/2k989Rh
PS This sort of problem is great motivation to avoid alcohol. It may be fun to get a buzz, but when the buzz won't go away, it's not fun at all.3 -
So happy this a.m. to report that I made it through last night's boozy, emotional night with my girlfriends (they were having some serious work and family problems) while staying dry. I'm committed to not drinking Mon-Thurs and am thrilled I stuck with the plan. Drank my tea and diet gingerale and listened a lot, which was fine. My pals were all supportive of my not drinking, and possibly inspired just a bit(?) to give it a try. I tried to pawn off my Fre chardonnay on anyone, anyone, who would take it, but had no takers, LOL. Drove home, delightfully secure in the knowledge that I could pass a breathalyzer. So, a great night and no more challenges today. I think a lot of this is just building habits and rewiring my brain, something we're all trying to do with food as well.
On the sweets front, I've been able to tamp down the chocolate a bit by telling myself how many Hershey's kisses (usually three) and TJ's mini peanut butter cups (usually two) I can have that day and then trying to stick to it. Making some progress. I'm finding that I like tea a lot more with a couple packet of stevia in it than not. It's probably part of the same sweet seeking behavior, who knows?9 -
SanDiegofitmom wrote: »No negative loop of regret.
@SanDiegofitmom - what a great way to put it. That is a thing for real.
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@kittybenn -- so wonderful that you could be there with your friends, and make your decision to be AF during the week stick. I think that could have been a sizeable stumbling block for anyone ... Good on you!6
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I’m still using the app Dry January to try my intake and keep me honest ha! I am trying to stay under the recommended 14 units a week which is like 6 glasses of wine or less a week. This helps. Also it’s fun to see the money and calories saved!
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It still baffles me that some people have never experienced a blackout.
7 -
Wow, has this thread picked up steam! Awesome...
I am curious to view on this question. For those who are not planning on quitting long term - what is your definition of successful / sustainable moderation?
I consider myself having a 'healthy' relationship with alcohol (beer). For probably the last 8-10 years, I never (and can't) drink until I'm drunk. I have never in my life blacked out from too much. At this stage of my life, it is a exceedingly rare occasion I ever make it past two drinks in a day. If I do, I don't desire the taste again for a month or so.
My definition today is as it has always been.. knowing when to turn it off, knowing when to dial it back and knowing when to enjoy.
What is your "happy place" for successful / sustainable moderation. How will you know you've reached it?
My happy place is 2 drinks, beer or wine. Once I have that third drink, I transition from happy buzz to the beginning of the road to blackout city.
But my problem is a lot of times, I don't realize that point in the present moment. And I don't know how to make myself stay more present when drinking. Because a lot of times, when I want that third drink, I don't care anymore about the consequences... but I sure a hell do the next day.
It's a vicious battle. 5
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