Dreading my birthday
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You can make it work if you're willing to have smaller portions, and I'd also consider increasing your physical activity. If I know I'm going to indulge more at an upcoming event I'll wake up 15-20 minutes earlier to extend my workouts and burn more calories for the bank. 15 minutes less sleep a day doesn't really make much of a difference. If you aren't active at all currently even a brisk walk added to your schedule could help earn more calories.0
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So you have a smaller deficit for a couple of weeks or no deficit at all. Just log as best you can and aim for maintenance. If you're under, woohoo.
I ate all the food on my birthday a couple of weeks age. I eat out regularly. I have take away regularly. I have lost, maintained and continue to lose. 63lbs of loss and maintenance. You have to figure out life and spiralling into a panic and then binge isn't going to help you.1 -
So usually on my/my partner's birthday we make breakfast in bed (usually a full English) then have a takeaway on the evening but obviously can't do that this time round. Help!
Why not...in the big picture, it's pretty irrelevant...goldthistime wrote: »I totally understand not being able to eat less ahead of a food filled event when you feel like your calories are already as low as you can tolerate. IMO, it's way easier (and more logical) to have the bigger calorie day and THEN increase your deficit to compensate.
I know there is argument that one day isn't long enough for a refeed, that it needs to be at least two days to reset your hunger hormones, but I can't help but wonder whether the amount of calories consumed has more meaning than the length of time. I say this because dieting has seemed like much less of a struggle for me after an overeating day. In other words, I think it's entirely possible that this day of overeating could make life easier for you in the weeks ahead. To me the only risk of a big eating day used to be that feeling of "I've blown it now. It's over. I don't have what it takes to start all over again." As long as you can avoid that thought process you'll be fine.
THIS is what I'm worried about I got down to 11stone 4 then this happen and before I knew it I was back at 13 stone 6 I was originally 15stone but I seem to forget how far I've come and just see my slip ups
All or nothing mentality isn't good, nor is it remotely realistic...6 -
Follow up.
Full English? You don't have to have everything or full servings of everything. A couple spoons of beans (quite low calorie anyway), if at home I'm assuming the hash browns will be baked in the oven from frozen, so just have one, again not many calories. One sausage, get a lower fat variety. Two pieces of bacon, very few calories. One slice of black pudding. Very few calories. Half or one slice of toast with only a little butter, not very many calories. One egg, not very many calories.
Having lovely meals doesn't have to mean huge portions or everything at every one of those meals.
You're making a huge drama out of not very much.5 -
My partner would be cooking it I would have 0 control over what/how much he puts on my plate. He will make "enough" (more than enough) for 2 and just divide it between 2 plates6
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My partner would be cooking it I would have 0 control over what/how much he puts on my plate
Even if you can't control what he cooks (my partner allows me to make suggestions when he prepares a meal for us and he will consider them especially when the meal is a celebration of a special day) or what he puts on your plate, you control how much of it you eat. You don't have to eat something just because your partner puts it on your plate.
If you feel like you *must* eat everything your partner prepares and serves you regardless of your appetite, preferences, or weight loss goals, that's a whole different conversation.3 -
janejellyroll wrote: »My partner would be cooking it I would have 0 control over what/how much he puts on my plate
Even if you can't control what he cooks (my partner allows me to make suggestions when he prepares a meal for us and he will consider them especially when the meal is a celebration of a special day) or what he puts on your plate, you control how much of it you eat. You don't have to eat something just because your partner puts it on your plate.
If you feel like you *must* eat everything your partner prepares and serves you regardless of your appetite, preferences, or weight loss goals, that's a whole different conversation.
As a child I was brought up to clear my plate at 28 I still have that mentality unfortunately I will probably be asleep while he is cooking6 -
An important part of dieting is knowing that occasionally you can splurge, and that it's mentally and emotionally healthy to do so.5
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janejellyroll wrote: »My partner would be cooking it I would have 0 control over what/how much he puts on my plate
Even if you can't control what he cooks (my partner allows me to make suggestions when he prepares a meal for us and he will consider them especially when the meal is a celebration of a special day) or what he puts on your plate, you control how much of it you eat. You don't have to eat something just because your partner puts it on your plate.
If you feel like you *must* eat everything your partner prepares and serves you regardless of your appetite, preferences, or weight loss goals, that's a whole different conversation.
As a child I was brought up to clear my plate at 28 I still have that mentality unfortunately I will probably be asleep while he is cooking
As children we were brought up to do many things. As adults, we can decide for ourselves if we still want to do them. It's really up to you whether you clear your plate or not. I will say that being able to leave some food on the plate does often make it easier to hit calorie goals, whether you're eating out at a restaurant, going to a friend's house for a meal, or eating a meal that a partner has plated for you.12 -
janejellyroll wrote: »My partner would be cooking it I would have 0 control over what/how much he puts on my plate
Even if you can't control what he cooks (my partner allows me to make suggestions when he prepares a meal for us and he will consider them especially when the meal is a celebration of a special day) or what he puts on your plate, you control how much of it you eat. You don't have to eat something just because your partner puts it on your plate.
If you feel like you *must* eat everything your partner prepares and serves you regardless of your appetite, preferences, or weight loss goals, that's a whole different conversation.
As a child I was brought up to clear my plate at 28 I still have that mentality unfortunately I will probably be asleep while he is cooking
you have to start taking responsibility for your own choices - at 28 you are more than able to make a different choice and follow all the great advice you received so far (instead of come up with excuses why you can't do every single thing suggested).11 -
janejellyroll wrote: »My partner would be cooking it I would have 0 control over what/how much he puts on my plate
Even if you can't control what he cooks (my partner allows me to make suggestions when he prepares a meal for us and he will consider them especially when the meal is a celebration of a special day) or what he puts on your plate, you control how much of it you eat. You don't have to eat something just because your partner puts it on your plate.
If you feel like you *must* eat everything your partner prepares and serves you regardless of your appetite, preferences, or weight loss goals, that's a whole different conversation.
As a child I was brought up to clear my plate at 28 I still have that mentality unfortunately I will probably be asleep while he is cooking
Talk to him ahead. You're acting like you have to be a martyr to lose weight. You got tons of great suggestions and didn't seem to like any of them. We gave you ideas that won't force you to feel like it is all or nothing.11 -
janejellyroll wrote: »My partner would be cooking it I would have 0 control over what/how much he puts on my plate
Even if you can't control what he cooks (my partner allows me to make suggestions when he prepares a meal for us and he will consider them especially when the meal is a celebration of a special day) or what he puts on your plate, you control how much of it you eat. You don't have to eat something just because your partner puts it on your plate.
If you feel like you *must* eat everything your partner prepares and serves you regardless of your appetite, preferences, or weight loss goals, that's a whole different conversation.
As a child I was brought up to clear my plate at 28 I still have that mentality unfortunately I will probably be asleep while he is cooking
You are the only one responsible for what you actually eat now, you've been given several helpful suggestions and you continue to give excuses. You cant ask your partner to make a smaller portion the night before? You don't think they would respect your wishes on your birthday? You're only options are to find a way to make it fit into your goals, or accept that you will not meet your goal, you aren't a victim of circumstance; It's 100% your choice to make.
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Two meals instead of three would allow you to have two "special meals".
Instead of a full English breakfast make it a full English brunch. Maybe cut down some of the calorie bomb items though. How many calories in bacon, scrambled egg, baked beans, tomato, mushrooms for instance?
Then have a sensible takeaway that isn't high calories - such as a lamb or chicken shish kebab with loads of salad for example.
Switching to maintenance for odd days shouldn't trigger binges, otherwise you are going to have a real problem when you get to goal weight. Address the binge issue now rather than later.
Get some exercise after brunch and then you will have a higher allowance to play with.
How would switching it from breakfast (morning) to brunch late morning help if I was going to have a full English I wouldn't eat again till maybe 8pm that night and it's not the switching to maintenance that will "trigger" me it's the mindset of having too many calories and then thinking oh f*** it and eating everything since today is out the window
Sorry I bothered trying to help. My mind-reading plug in only works on my phone....
Seems you are more determined to build up the problem rather than work out a solution.
PS - you ignored the exercise solution too. Take control of the situation rather than choose to be a victim of the situation. You have choices to make.
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I've already gone over my Cal's one day this week then there is pancake Day, valentine's Day then my birthday all in the same week it's a slippery slope for me to ease up for a few days it can cause a binge
I could be wrong but I kind of sense a theme..... perhaps you need to find another way other than food to celebrate?
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I was also brought up to always clear my plate, and it's a habit that really sticks because I still do it no matter how much is on there. When my boyfriend is dishing out our meals I always tell him to just give me half of what he gives himself (He's tall with a very active job). Just ask him in advance to give you half of what he normally gives you or else you won't be able to enjoy your takeout later.
If he doesn't listen and just gives you a giant plate of food anyways you have 3 options:
1. Only eat half of it and enjoy your takeout later without going too far over calories
2. Eat the whole thing but don't get takeout for dinner and just have something light and small instead so you can stay within your calories
3. Eat the whole thing and get takeout; go over your calories but get back on track the very next day.
I personally don't find it enjoyable to get a big restaurant dinner or something when I know i only have 100-200 calories left for the day, especially cus most restaurant food ends up being over 1000 calories for a meal.2 -
It sounds like you need to take control of what you eat. Enough excuses, you're a grown woman.
If your partner is holding you down and force-feeding you at gunpoint, there is a lot more to be worried about. But it just sounds like you're making excuses.
I know it's hard to get over the clean-plate mentality, but have some faith in yourself. You're an adult, you don't need to clean your plate, you can eat exactly how much you want to. Repeat that mantra! If you're really struggling, seeing a professional therapist on your food hangups might help you out a lot.
A birthday meal shouldn't be a major cause of stress. There will always be special occasions, learning to find strategies to deal with them without spiraling into a binge is a very important aspect of self-growth.
I don't mean to sound harsh here, I understand what you're going through and wish you good luck!5 -
I have the same realationship with food as a alcoholic does with alcohol I prepare all other meals so I know I can safely clean my plate and not go over came for support and to rant a little over my anxiety and only one person understood where I was coming from I wish there was a delete post button now
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In my family we have one or two birthdays every month of the year. I pick and choose which part of the food celebration I'm willing to spend calories on. Tomorrow I am not interesting in the pasta dish my sister is making for my mom's birthday, but I will have a slice of cake. They know I'm cutting for a bodybuilding competition and don't pressure me to join for the whole thing. I will eat before I go and my kids will enjoy the meal with everyone else while I entertain the baby.2
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I have the same realationship with food as a alcoholic does with alcohol I prepare all other meals so I know I can safely clean my plate and not go over came for support and to rant a little over my anxiety and only one person understood where I was coming from I wish there was a delete post button now
Click the flag button and report your own post asking the mods to delete it. You may have been just seeking to rant, but there are tons of options out there to make it so you don't have to deal with the food anxiety.1
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