Anyone accept a weight that wasn't their "ultimate goal"?

OK I know this is not what yall mean, but I "have" accepted a weight which was not my ultimate goal. I started out at about 131 and although I usually in my yo yo life have put 102 as my goal since thats the lowest I have ever been, this time I realized I needed to focus on maintaining. Typically I can make it down under 110 and then I start binging and yo ing up again. So, I thought. OK set your goal at 106. Then instead of ending your diet in a binge and gain, really CHANGE and do something different like maintaining. LOL. I lurk here a lot because I think it's probably the most important place in MFP if you want to succeed forever.

So... I got to 106 in Sept and set to maintenance. But I knew that just changing to a MUCH higher intake right away would trigger a binge, so I followed the method of adding 100 cals every other week. I felt like I was rewarding myself but OH MY GOD the scale kept going down? I reached 102 and kept adding calories. I hit 100 and was like, I don't EVER remember weighing 100. I kept adding calories upped by 150 every other week. I reached 97-98 and you know what. It was NOT my ultimate goal, but honestly I really REALLY like it - how I feel, how I look etc (well Im 59 so I got some skin stuff of course). So I have accepted 98 or 99 or something in that range as my ultimate goal. Not where I started at all.

And I am not restrictive but I think my TDEE is still climbing. I even thought maybe my thyroid meds were off and ran to get a blood test check because I couldn't believe I was losing while continuing to eat more and more. Not BINGE eating mind you but solid steady cal up ticks.

I know that the books say you eat less to maintain at a lower weight but there are just SO Many variables. 1 +1 doesn't always mean 2. Each person is individual.

What I am trying to say is hell yeah, accept a goal which is not your dream goal. maintain. let your body figure it out. You might be surprised when you decide you are going to MAINTAIN that you actually drop more. Best of luck. Lots of very insightful inputs on this thread.

I have no science to support this so take it with a grain of salt, but I think sometimes our bodies just have a 'preferred weight' at which point losing becomes much more difficult. I lost upwards of 40 lbs fairly easily (well, it was hard but it was doable) but I've been averaging between 130-135 for months and months and months. At my height I could weigh as little as 110 and still be in a healthy range (115 was my original goal), but it's very tough to get there. I've worked my *kitten* off before and gotten in the 125-130 range a couple times, but I just get too hungry and end up back between 130-135. I struggled with it for a while but I'm mostly ok with it now. I haven't completely abandoned my goal weight but I'm happy and healthy where I am now.

I’m stuck at about 5 pounds over my goal weight. I’m set to lose weight but have maintained in a narrow range for 7 months because I go over my calories. I’m waiting for the weather to warm up to try for the final 5 pounds. My thinking is that once I get the weight off, the maintenance calories will be about the same so my body doesn’t nee 5 pounds of extra fat. I’m 5’2” and 129.

LisaTcan wrote: »

I had a baby 18 months ago and pre-baby I was 134 and a size 4 (I'm 5'6''). I was really happy at that weight but I worked out a lot, cycled 100miles a week and weight lifted 3-4x a week. I have been maintaining at about 140 for a year and I'm now a size 6 or 8. My diet is similar, 1600-1800 calories a day (I use a food scale), but I'm not working out as often (weight lifting 2x a week).

For the past year I've had MFP set to "lose 1lb" a week, but I'm obviously eating too much/not exercising enough to lose the last 6lbs. I'm a full-time working mom and I just don't have the time, energy or motivation to workout like that anymore. Anyone experience this? I feel like I should stop feeling like "I can't lose weight" and just accept that I am in maintenance and at this stage in my life this is good enough.

@LisaTcan I did take weight loss off my my goal list in 2014 but I still have the goal to walk 1/4 of a mile daily outside of just normal daily moving. I just posted what I do now and how it is resolving weight and many other issues at:

community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10642943/i-gained-all-my-weight-back-starting-from-square-1#latest

Best of success and yes on the advice to give yourself more time.

Oh, la. I could have written that post. I stopped 2lbs shy of my ultimate weight loss goal of 50lbs in the summer of 2016 - maintained that more or less for a year and then over the past year I have put on 10 lbs. Grrr.

Work, life, you name it. Eating slightly more and exercising slightly less - put on a slight amount of weight. Lol.

I think my 'happy' weight is around 150lbs so if I can get back there I will be happier. But I also realize I am happier when I am counting calories and conscientiously thinking about everything I eat or drink. I spent years in denial so I think the accountability is good for me.

I am not giving up. Glad to read there are more people just like me out there.

I'm 5'6" and got down to 136 a few years ago, but it was too hard to maintain and I had people I trust expressing concern that I looked too thin. I also found myself having dizzy spells when getting up on a regular basis, which motivated me to check my BP and I was hypotensive. My body is a lot happier at about 150 and I don't have to kill myself to maintain that. When I went to nursing school while working full time night shifts, I gained some weight back and now have about 20 to lose to get back to 150. I'm being lackadaisical about it, but Lent just started so I am going to use it as an opportunity to help me be more disciplined. But my goal is 150 and will stay there, because I can be comfortable there and it's in my healthy weight range.

I wonder if for many people that lower weight they give up on is really a proxy for being smaller and the real goal should shift to body composition. As an example, I'm 165 and 18% BF and my priority is now that BF as the goal and that's a mix of fat loss and muscle gain vs total weight loss.

richardgavel wrote: »

I wonder if for many people that lower weight they give up on is really a proxy for being smaller and the real goal should shift to body composition. As an example, I'm 165 and 18% BF and my priority is now that BF as the goal and that's a mix of fat loss and muscle gain vs total weight loss.

When I hit my target of 135 the first time I was still unhappy with my body because I was thin but not lean. After bulking a cutting a few times for training and weightlifting meets my measurements now at 145 are significantly smaller than when I weighed 135 so I TOTALLY agree that body composition should be the goal vs. weight loss, however it's a hard mentality for many to wrap their heads around (especially those that haven't been involved in fitness long) because a weight number goal is an easy goal to set and track for most people, body composition isn't as easy to track and people lose that "successful" feeling when they're not getting that pat on the back from seeing the scale move in the direction they want.

I am looking at accepting this now .. my goal was 70kg based purrely on it being a nice round number .. I am only 2kg away and not sure its worth pushing for the 70kg mark

I dont think I am going to look any more defined if I drop 2 more kg ... I think I am still too far away from permanent visible abs, so all its going to get me is overall thinness and bit more muscle loss.

so right now considering maintaining and getting my strength and power back ..... its a hard descition to make though. so used to being in a deficit it seems wrong to just stop

I went the other way. I tried to be realistic about what I would be able to accomplish and stick to, so I chose a weight I used to be happy with before I put on substantially more weight. When I got to it I decided I was going too easy on myself; I was actually still overweight. So I changed the goal and kept going.

I hired a pro body builder years ago to get me started on lifting and perfecting my form and I follow her on Instagram. She built much of her clientele by showing 2 pics - one when she was killing herself with cardio and weighing 115 lbs and another when she shifted to resistance training and at 130 lbs. Aesthetically speaking she looks much better at 130. Don't focus on a number on the scale.

Focus on the output that matters - strength, speed, endurance, aesthetics, etc.

Don't allow weight to matter more than it does.

renee8865 wrote: »

Yes, and no. I haven't lost ANY weight since starting this journey again two months ago and it's making me rethink my overall goals, body composition, etc. For the longest time my goal was 130-132. It's what I weighed my senior year in high school and my first couple years in college. I had an unhealthy relationship with food, but overall it was one of the few times in my life I've really liked my appearance. So now I'm about 35 pounds heavier and don't know if I'll ever be able to reach that weight again. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, so I'm going to set a series of small, hopefully tangible goals. Each time I reach a goal, I'll reassess and decide if losing any more weight is necessary/feasible.

First of all..don’t give up. You really can do this. Sometimes it seems slow, but it will happen. My thought at the beginning was I don’t think I can ever be...but if I lose twenty lbs..I’ll be 20 lbs thinner. So I did like you..small tangible goals.. literally 5 lb goals. Eventually I reached the goal I had convinced myself I could be happy at (still heavy for my height), then I did ten more, made that, and did 12 more, continually reevaluating what seemed right. Hang in there! I wrote in a journal and if I ever need encouragement I go back and read those entries. It reminds me that I can succeed at losing/maintaining.