Today someone told me "I need to stop losing weight"

24

Replies

  • shadow2soul
    shadow2soul Posts: 7,693 Member
    tyrindor wrote: »
    I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...

    I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.

    Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?

    My aunt told me I needed to stop when I was around 200 lbs which at 5'4.5" is still obese.

    I ignored her and now she tries to convince my family I am anorexic. :noway: It actually bothers my mom more than it does me. My mom, while she is obese, sees me as healthy and fit. Her sister still thinks I am starving myself and it's been years since I was 200 lbs. *Shrug* It is what it is.
  • ceolyn
    ceolyn Posts: 31 Member
    Having experienced something similar some years back when I was getting close to my goal weight I can empathize with how frustrating and honestly painful those comments can be.

    Since then, I have come to realize when people react to someone making an effort to better themselves in such a way it can have a lot to do with their own insecurities.

    Take a deep breath. Thank them. And keep doing what you're doing for your health and fitness. You can do it.
  • gymprincess1234
    gymprincess1234 Posts: 493 Member
    edited February 2018
    Often people don't look as heavy/light as their weight says. Also for someone else it is difficult to wrap their mind around 30lbs to lose, cause it's stretched all over your body inside out.
    Plus, it's your grandma, grandma's are meant to feed the grandchildren haahh Chill
  • Fitnessmom82
    Fitnessmom82 Posts: 376 Member
    mabelgrex wrote: »
    dollars to donuts none of the people saying this are in condition or at their optimum weight.
    need to learn to ig.nore.

    Yup!! My friends that are fit, or working hard towards their goals, are always the most encouraging and never judgy or rude!
  • batorkin
    batorkin Posts: 281 Member
    edited February 2018
    tyrindor wrote: »
    tyrindor wrote: »
    Contrarian here,

    at 73 inches and a 38 inch AC, you are within the proportions generally accepted as healthy.

    Certainly if you want to lose more weight, you're free to,

    Everything I read says a 6'1" male should have a waist line under 36 inches to reduce health risks. My goal is not just to "be healthy" though, I want a flat stomach and mine is no where near flat. I'm aiming for 32-34.

    What is your current strength training program?

    What is your current calorie allowance?

    I eat 1500 calories, with high resistance elliptical cardio for 30 minutes a day (~350 calories), and dumbbell lifting/exercises (30-55 pounds) twice a week. That's what I have in my home and it fits my schedule. I also started doing daily push-ups and planks because I have a lot more energy now.

    Haven't been following a program. The pounds and inches have been falling off, so I'll keep doing this unless I plateau.

    Dude you eat less than I do and I'm 5ft 2

    Are you eating back at least some of your exercise calories?

    Nope. My job is me sitting in a chair for the remaining 14 hours of the day, so I seem to get by eating 1500 calories + exercise. I've been doing it for almost 5 months now and I have loads of energy. There are times I eat when I am full because I know i've ate too little that day.

    I was actually eating only 1200 calories for the first 2 1/2 months, still felt fine, but decided to play it safe and bump it up to 1500.
  • tyrindor wrote: »
    I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...

    I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.

    Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?

    200 for 6'1" is lighter than you think. That is pretty thin for a male with some muscle. Most men don't have to go as low as the bmi says to be healthy.
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,556 Member
    edited February 2018
    I agree that 1500 cal sounds low for man of your height. My goal is 1800/day, plus I eat back any exercise calories. I also have a very sedentary job. I'm a 5'9" woman, and so far I'm losing over 2.5 lbs/week. I'm sure you could eat more and still have good results. I know it's working for you now, but the problem will come when you hit a plateau and need to lower your calories even further. And why not eat more if you can?
  • amandaeve
    amandaeve Posts: 719 Member
    trimi1104 wrote: »
    Listen...eagles don't take flight lessons from chickens. That's it, straight out. Ignore them politely and do your own thing.
    And don't get frustrated, if you do they win. Let it wash over you and away, you're the eagle.

    OMG I love this quote so much!!!

    OP, I know you know they are wrong, and I agree it's hard to hear. It doesn't just wash over. My mother tells me I'm too fat to exercise, and freaks out when she hears about any physical activity I do, like I'm gonna die. I am healthy, a normal BMI, and in very good shape. Other family members go on and on about how I'm crazy and insane because I exercise. It still hurts to hear; I wish I knew how to simply ignore them and make it hurt less.
  • batorkin
    batorkin Posts: 281 Member
    edited February 2018
    tyrindor wrote: »
    I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...

    I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.

    Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?

    200 for 6'1" is lighter than you think. That is pretty thin for a male with some muscle. Most men don't have to go as low as the bmi says to be healthy.

    You'd need some very beefy muscles to not have a gut @ 200 6'1". My 6'0" friend is 190 and he wants to lose ~25 pounds. My other friend who is 6'1 170 looks great, he's right in the middle of normal BMI.
    fatcity66 wrote: »
    I know it's working for you now, but the problem will come when you hit a plateau and need to lower your calories even further. And why not eat more if you can?

    There's studies out there that claim this won't happen though.

    My body isn't going to get use to 1500 calories then all a sudden stop losing weight because starvation mode is a myth. 1500 is low enough for males that you'd become underweight before you reach a permanent plateau.
    ITUSGirl51 wrote: »
    So did anyone’s perspective of what a healthy weight looks like change after you lost weight?

    Now that I’m close to normal weight I’ve noticed women at work being heavier than I thought they were before I lost the weight. Like larger bellies and bigger hips than I noticed them having before. So my perspective on what healthy looks like has changed since I’m close to a normal BMI. Weird.

    Yes, overweight people stand out way more now.... as crappy as that sounds. I feel so sorry for them because I know what it's like and how much better it feels (both physically and mentally) to be healthier.
  • fatcity66
    fatcity66 Posts: 1,556 Member
    edited February 2018
    tyrindor wrote: »
    tyrindor wrote: »
    I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...

    I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.

    Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?

    200 for 6'1" is lighter than you think. That is pretty thin for a male with some muscle. Most men don't have to go as low as the bmi says to be healthy.

    You'd need some very beefy muscles to not have a gut @ 200 6'1". My 6'0" friend is 190 and he wants to lose ~25 pounds. My other friend who is 6'1 170 looks great, he's right in the middle of normal BMI.
    fatcity66 wrote: »
    I know it's working for you now, but the problem will come when you hit a plateau and need to lower your calories even further. And why not eat more if you can?

    There's studies out there that claim this won't happen though.

    My body isn't going to get use to 1500 calories then all a sudden stop losing weight because starvation mode is a myth. 1500 is low enough for males that you'd become underweight before you reach a permanent plateau.
    ITUSGirl51 wrote: »
    So did anyone’s perspective of what a healthy weight looks like change after you lost weight?

    Now that I’m close to normal weight I’ve noticed women at work being heavier than I thought they were before I lost the weight. Like larger bellies and bigger hips than I noticed them having before. So my perspective on what healthy looks like has changed since I’m close to a normal BMI. Weird.

    Yes, overweight people stand out way more now.... as crappy as that sounds. I feel so sorry for them because I know what it's like and how much better it feels (both physically and mentally) to be healthier.


    I know starvation mode is a myth. What I meant is, you would have to lower your calories more to maintain the same rate of loss. If you're ok with your rate of loss slowing a lot, that's ok. But again, I ask, why eat so little when you don't have to?

    And yes, starvation mode is a myth, but that doesn't mean how much you eat does not affect your metabolism, because it does.
  • Mslmesq
    Mslmesq Posts: 1,001 Member
    edited February 2018
    Most peoples baggage are just that. Their baggage. That they are projecting onto you. Take it with a grain of salt.

    To give you the opposite end of the spectrum, I used to usually weigh about 98-100 pounds. My mother* would start telling me I looked fat the minute the scale said over 105.

    Her craziness and her issues. Also, none of her *kitten* business what I weigh or how I look.

    * I no longer have a relationship with my mother.
  • Lean59man
    Lean59man Posts: 714 Member
    170 at 6'1" is very light.

    I am 6'2" and weigh 205. No way I would want to be 170-180 lbs.



  • karenmi
    karenmi Posts: 242 Member
    My husband is about 6' and got down to 172 last year, not intentionally but due to an undiagnosed hyperthyroid condition. He looked like a walking skeleton....now he's back up to 195 and looks great.

    Don't compare yourself to your friends.....I spent a lifetime doing that and finally in my 50's have come to accept that I will never look like other people, I look like me!
  • batorkin
    batorkin Posts: 281 Member
    edited February 2018
    fatcity66 wrote: »
    tyrindor wrote: »
    tyrindor wrote: »
    I've lost 50 pounds and currently weigh 202 pounds as a 6'1" male. I saw my grandma today and she said I am way too skinny, so I told her "I still need to lose about 20 to 30 pounds to be healthy". Well, she freaked out and said I would be "skin and bones" and very unhealthy if I lost any more. My entire family is morbidly obese, and none of them seem to know what "healthy" looks like anymore. My mother keeps telling me the same thing every time I see her...

    I know I am unhealthy with a BMI of 28 and a 38" gut (about 25% body fat). I have to fight urges every day (especially when around them), and when they tell me I need to stop losing weight it makes it even harder.

    Does anyone else get very frustrated when people do this?

    200 for 6'1" is lighter than you think. That is pretty thin for a male with some muscle. Most men don't have to go as low as the bmi says to be healthy.

    You'd need some very beefy muscles to not have a gut @ 200 6'1". My 6'0" friend is 190 and he wants to lose ~25 pounds. My other friend who is 6'1 170 looks great, he's right in the middle of normal BMI.
    fatcity66 wrote: »
    I know it's working for you now, but the problem will come when you hit a plateau and need to lower your calories even further. And why not eat more if you can?

    There's studies out there that claim this won't happen though.

    My body isn't going to get use to 1500 calories then all a sudden stop losing weight because starvation mode is a myth. 1500 is low enough for males that you'd become underweight before you reach a permanent plateau.
    ITUSGirl51 wrote: »
    So did anyone’s perspective of what a healthy weight looks like change after you lost weight?

    Now that I’m close to normal weight I’ve noticed women at work being heavier than I thought they were before I lost the weight. Like larger bellies and bigger hips than I noticed them having before. So my perspective on what healthy looks like has changed since I’m close to a normal BMI. Weird.

    Yes, overweight people stand out way more now.... as crappy as that sounds. I feel so sorry for them because I know what it's like and how much better it feels (both physically and mentally) to be healthier.


    I know starvation mode is a myth. What I meant is, you would have to lower your calories more to maintain the same rate of loss. If you're ok with your rate of loss slowing a lot, that's ok. But again, I ask, why eat so little when you don't have to?

    And yes, starvation mode is a myth, but that doesn't mean how much you eat does not affect your metabolism, because it does.

    I get what you mean now. I know it'll slow down, but I don't plan on losing 2 pounds/week all the way to my goal. The site already estimates 1.8 pounds/week at 1500. I eat 1500 because I am rarely hungry doing so, and I don't want to slow down my weight loss by eating when I am not hungry.
    Lean59man wrote: »
    170 at 6'1" is very light.

    I am 6'2" and weigh 205. No way I would want to be 170-180 lbs.



    6'1" 170 is smack in the middle of normal BMI. 6'2" 205 is overweight BMI. BMI is designed for the average person, it can be inaccurate for people who lift/bulk regularly.

    I am 6'1" 203 and I still have more than two full hands of gut fat. You likely have a lot more muscle than the average person if you look fit at 6'2" 205.
  • JMcGee2018
    JMcGee2018 Posts: 273 Member
    trimi1104 wrote: »
    Listen...eagles don't take flight lessons from chickens. That's it, straight out. Ignore them politely and do your own thing.
    And don't get frustrated, if you do they win. Let it wash over you and away, you're the eagle.

    This is my favorite quote ever. Thank you for this.
  • kschildroth
    kschildroth Posts: 570 Member
    It's very frustrating! Your grandma means well but just ignore her. People are just used to the old size. I've had people tell me to stop losing weight at 190 lbs which is considered overweight for my height at 5'10" by 20 pounds. I just smile and continue on with losing weight. I still want to lose about 10 to 15 more pound and I've had people say they can't imagine where I would lose it. Like I could easily point out areas that can be improved.