My boss just pulled me in her office to talk about my toots.

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  • onward1
    onward1 Posts: 386 Member
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    Broccoli bombs, that's what I call 'em. Silent, yet deadly. I couldn't live with myself if one was unleashed around others, lol. I'd have to quit.
  • CattOfTheGarage
    CattOfTheGarage Posts: 2,750 Member
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    mph323 wrote: »
    Can we talk about squat farts now?

    What about Pilates farts? I tried to go to a class for a while but I had to quit. All that core clenching, it just seems to... loosen everything up :blush: . It was the one activity they did in pairs that was too much for me. Pilates is a private activity in my case, it seems...
  • Ms_Natalie
    Ms_Natalie Posts: 1,030 Member
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    Is this thread for real?!

    Haha. Gave me a giggle on the train anyway!
  • Noreenmarie1234
    Noreenmarie1234 Posts: 7,493 Member
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    onward1 wrote: »
    Broccoli bombs, that's what I call 'em. Silent, yet deadly. I couldn't live with myself if one was unleashed around others, lol. I'd have to quit.

    I get these too this is why I cannot eat broccoli.

    This entire thread gave me a good laugh.
  • TonyB0588
    TonyB0588 Posts: 9,520 Member
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    Oh!! When this thread started I couldn't understand what was meant by "toots". Now I get it. The sound of a car horn.

    Trouble is some people toot their horn, others beep theirs, while others simply blow the horn. What a difference a word makes in English!!
  • successgal1
    successgal1 Posts: 996 Member
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    Seems like a digestive aid might be in order. I used to use a product called Super Digestaway, back in the Atkins days. Helped a lot with red meat digestion.
  • T1DCarnivoreRunner
    T1DCarnivoreRunner Posts: 11,502 Member
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    I don't pass gas very much (high protein, low fiber diet); but I've heard that it decreases blood pressure. I'm not sure whether it is true or not, but holding them in probably increases blood pressure, so...
  • Espresso345
    Espresso345 Posts: 42 Member
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    Check whether you are eating anything with sugar alcohols in it - I used to love Atkins Caramel Squares, but they did make me gassy - stopped eating them - no more unpleasant auditory effects, if you know what I mean.
  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 693 Member
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    This is one of my worst nightmares. I eat primarily plant based, with a fair amount of protein shake/bar supplements, so tons of fiber and protein. Tons of beans. Tons of green leafy vegetables. I do my best to get to the bathroom when I get gassy, but sometimes one will silently escape and I am so nervous someone will walk up and smell it. I'd die if someone confronted me about it, good on you for finding the humor in it (because it is a little hilarious).
  • brittanynicholex
    brittanynicholex Posts: 34 Member
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    Alatariel75 wrote: »
    Tedo201 wrote: »
    Hygiene and cleanliness clause lol!?

    Toots aren't really related to either hygiene or cleanliness. The cleanest, most hygienic person still botty-burps.

    booty burps. :D i'm totally calling them that from now on.
  • debraleecarlin
    debraleecarlin Posts: 1 Member
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    DeviatedNorm wrote: »
    Stupid high-fiber, high-protein diet.
    Actually, a few weeks ago I began a lo carb, hi fat, moderate protein and high fiber (most of my carbs are leafy vegs) and I am much less farty than before. Go figure.

  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,135 Member
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    ZombieKillaPrincess wrote: »
    OMG I am so sorry but I literally LOL'd. That bad?? Protein toots are the worst though. Also maybe your coworker is ultra sensitive. I know I was when I was pregnant, smells were so intense... too much cologne or a bad fart would have me trying my hardest not to puke.

    Haven't tried these but could be helpful?
    6gnmcqq1fcx4.png
    https://www.walmart.com/ip/Subtle-Butt-Disposable-Gas-Neutralizers-5-Pack/106804486?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=4356&adid=22222222227040265856&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=c&wl3=99153465034&wl4=pla-231467775634&wl5=9031581&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=114232979&wl11=online&wl12=106804486&wl13=&veh=sem

    Um, do I want to know where that filter is supposed to go? :o
  • alf2234
    alf2234 Posts: 3 Member
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    Apparently Pepto Bismol clears up the scent. Luckily I’m a quiet tooter

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