So you’ve lost the weight...
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Not treated differently in general (my weight loss was not that significant), although I get comments from some friends and family that my husband and I are now too thin. A friend said we look like we just came out of Auschwitz. I'm on the middle-upper end of normal BMI, definitely no cause for alarm. I don't know why people make comments like this.9
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Hmm. I’ve been struggling with this lately. I am most grateful for those who don’t make a fuss about it and treat me exactly the same. It’s obviously noticeable (55 lbs) but I’ve gotten comments like “you look like a totally different person”. That puzzled/bugged me for a while, but now I’m grateful to have heard it because I have literally had people not recognize me. While strangers seem to treat me “more nicely”, the thing I’ve been struggling with is that professionally, I feel a little more “dismissed”, which is shocking for me. Specifically while walking into situations where people may not know me very well - I feel like I have to work harder to be heard/input to be taken seriously. WTF is that about?!? I have not lost brain power or expertise along with excess fat... it is the weirdest thing!!!! Anyone else experience this?!?4
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ValeriePlz wrote: »Not treated differently in general (my weight loss was not that significant), although I get comments from some friends and family that my husband and I are now too thin. A friend said we look like we just came out of Auschwitz. I'm on the middle-upper end of normal BMI, definitely no cause for alarm. I don't know why people make comments like this.
If someone said something like that to me I couldn't let it slide. I would say "what provoked such an ugly comment? Auschwitz is nothing to make a joke about. Unthinkable Horrors happened to people there. Why would you say something like that to me?"
A lot of times people say these hideous comments simply because we let them.10 -
Friends, however, is a different story. I lost friends when I started to lose weight. They told me that I've changed but all that had happened was that I finally grew confidence, became more comfortable with myself and finally started to put my foot down and say no when I wasn't happy with something. But to them I was a terrible person
This is one of my biggest fears about the whole process! I know it's good for me. But it's scary!
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Are these friends that you've lost overweight? Makes me think of the spouses on my 600 pound life who don't want their spouse to lose weight and be healthy... Because it makes them feel better about themselves2 -
Definitely. The treatment now is good, but there've been some frustrating revelations.
My family keeps telling me how proud they are—something that never happens in my family. Understand that our family keeps conversations VERY superficial, we don't get personal. So imagine my surprise when I've lost 80 pounds and they start telling me how they were "so worried about my weight" and "thought I'd die an early death from being overweight." I appreciate that they're proud of me, but why couldn't they have voiced their concerns when I actually needed to hear it?
Friends regularly remark on how impressed they are, and that's nice. I've also noticed that interactions with strangers are better, too. I'm taken more seriously, I'm not brushed off or ignored, people seem more likely to strike up a conversation with me. And I'm no less friendly now (I think) than when I weighed north of 300.
It's nice for me, but it makes me wonder why it's so hard for people to be more considerate toward the obese.10 -
Not really. I am asked out by fit men, which is new to me.2
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Three years ago I lost 50 lbs. Got lots of compliments even from people with whom I share a mutual dislike. That was about the extent of it.
But the one person I most wanted to hear from, my husband, remained silent, as if I didn't just lose an amazing amount of weight.
I ended up gaining it all back because for various reasons I gave up.
This time I expect more of the same except I am not going to expect anything from my husband, nor am I going to give up.
Nobody really treated me differently; just were complimentary.
Maybe just read your husbands silence as " Honey, I love you through thick and thin."
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corinasue1143 wrote: »Three years ago I lost 50 lbs. Got lots of compliments even from people with whom I share a mutual dislike. That was about the extent of it.
But the one person I most wanted to hear from, my husband, remained silent, as if I didn't just lose an amazing amount of weight.
I ended up gaining it all back because for various reasons I gave up.
This time I expect more of the same except I am not going to expect anything from my husband, nor am I going to give up.
Nobody really treated me differently; just were complimentary.
Maybe just read your husbands silence as " Honey, I love you through thick and thin."
I no longer assume anything. It's much safer than expectations.5 -
Yup, in a positive way...but a positive way that also pisses me off. Like...oh, now you want to tell me I'm gorgeous and you'd love to take me out but 120lbs ago you pretended like I didn't exist? ehhhh...ok.6
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It’s harder to find clothes in my new sizes than in my old sizes.
People congratulate me on my body now. No one congratulated me on my body before.
Things are made to fit the body I have now. Airline seats are plenty wide enough and no one seems upset at the idea of sitting next to me.
People assume that I don’t eat various things, particularly bread or sweets. I eat chocolate every day and rice several times a week.
No one seems surprised to see me exercising now, nor do they seem to think I’m doing an exceptionally great job at that exercise.
Some family members think I’m “too skinny,” despite being right in the middle of the optimal BMI range for my height.
I have to agree with apullum, people assume i don't eat various things too. I remember planning to go out with family and friends when one of them told me " you don't eat burgers right? so is it OK if we go here?" , ummm heck ya i eat burgers!! I just calculate my calories for it. Also, still need to lose a few more pounds to get to the normal BMI and people freak out thinking I am to skinny and any more they think is to much. Sorry.. not sorry but i am doing this for me and I have a goal that i want to accomplish.2 -
Not really, but then I've always been friendly, outgoing, and confident. However, I am starting to get the comments about not needing to lose more weight (down 76 pounds, 50 more to goal). Of course I have more to lose--my BMI is still in the obese range!2
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I'm going back to losing 50 again ( three years ago I dropped to 220 then ruined my knee, shoulder and ankle in succession )
For the most part, people at my work joke around about my weight, ( and I joke about their height ) my family asked me when I'm due ( I'm a guy ) and I joke about how they are incapable of using technology correctly.
My friends all joke around about my weight, and I joke around about their inability to beat me at pool. I've just found people will say stuff, and 90% of the time, they just say it to mask that they're truly supporting you.
Through thick and thin, my family has my back ( that includes friends ) and when I get back down to 220 again I'm sure the jokes will revolve around how " you need to eat more"
But at the end of it all, I'm lucky to have their support ( even masked around as playful banter ) and it's a huge reason for my weight loss ( 20 lb since dec 2017 ) so far.10 -
Not really, but then I've always been friendly, outgoing, and confident. However, I am starting to get the comments about not needing to lose more weight (down 76 pounds, 50 more to goal). Of course I have more to lose--my BMI is still in the obese range!
Sometimes I think people say that not necessarily because they really believe it but because they think it is a compliment and will make you feel good. It's a way of saying oh you're not overweight...1 -
Totally, the one person who should be my greatest supporter, my mother who has always struggled with weight herself used to tell me how fat and ugly I looked when I was bigger than her and now that I am smaller than her and starting to wear clothes that fit me better keeps telling me how I should dress my age (I'm 45, lol)...However, my husband and children are my greatest cheer leaders and what they think matters more to me than anyone else.10
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My family and friends don’t treat me any differently, but I find that strangers are a lot more courteous and friendly,0
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It depends on what group of friends... some friends reacted really aggressively and made inappropriate advances, but most seem not affected by me. Which, I assume is the way it should be? Why would my weight change affect us? I still act the same, I drink the same, I socialize the same, I just eat less.
But I will say, it really pissed me off the way I felt "pounced" on. I didn't/don't have much to lose, 20 pounds give or take, but it's like they are implying I wasn't a person before. Let's not talk about their weight though.2 -
Interesting stories....0
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Yes. It's as though stores don't want to take chubby people's money. When I'm larger i never get help in shops or I get an attitude. When I'm slimmer all of a sudden i exist and get waited on like royalty. People don't make small talk when I'm heavy. If I'm trying to be nice and smile or chit chat I get dirty looks instead of smiles back. People taking up the whole sidewalk move over and compromise the space instead of expecting me to walk in the grass and move out of their way so they don't have to momentarily inconvenience their conversation to be polite on my behalf. I get my drinks quicker at the bar. I don't get dirty looks at the gym. But also, I seem to get the "she's just a silly girl" attitude more when I'm slim because I work in mainly male dominated fields (until I pull a My Cousin Vinny moment on them)4
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Lol, this weight loss thing really does impact your whole world.0
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Just a thought in response to those who are sad that people are attracted to them now at a lower weight and weren’t at the higher, saying you are “ the same person”. Is there any chance you are not the same person? I am hoping that when I lose weight there will be many differences in myself that will be more attractive, not just physically. I am hoping my energy, my hobbies, my confidence, my perseverance of life will become attractive traits that I don’t have right now. Sure, my heart will be the same, but this weight now is really preventing my true self from showing. I think I’ll be ecstatic if someone who never paid attention finally notices. Maybe that’s shallow, I don’t know, but I can’t wait anyway!18
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Yeah, strangers have gotten friendlier. That may be due to the fact that I'm happier in general and therefore more approachable. Acquaintances feel comfortable enough to say "oh hey! You look great!/healthy/whatever," which is nice or well-meaning but weird.
My poor parents have to find other things to criticize me about now that I'm a healthier weight.11 -
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Definitely notice a difference. People are generally nicer to me (I'm nice to everyone so this is weird to me). I have a few friends who have pulled away. Not really sure why but to be honest, don't really care! I've had one friend flat out tell me that I'm annoying now and she doesn't like being around me when I'm thin (we don't ever talk weight loss so this is all appearance based I guess?). Oh well, just weeding out the negative. Keep in mind, we are in our mid 30s, so no reason for childish behavior!
My family is pretty supportive and they don't treat me different, other than the occasional comment about "you probably don't eat that" ect...2 -
Four years ago, I went into a shop and noticed the cutest t-shirts. I asked the clerk if they had any in larger sizes. She eyed me up and down critically and said "Sorry, I don't think we carry anything in your size". I was about 160 at the time, down from about 185, so her attitude was devastating.
Two years later, I was shopping in St. Augustine, and asked the clerk if they had a particular cute t-shirt in size small (I was down to 133). She looked me up and down, shook her head no. "But," she said, "I can have the other store send over a boy's medium. It'll fit you perfectly!".
I could have hugged her. Yes, people do treat me differently.2 -
My coworkers have been great, even wanting to go to vegetarian restaurants instead of the grease pits that I used to love so much. I love the way some of the team have been quick to compliment and offer support when I feel like I'm not going to make it.
I've only lost 60 of the 120 that I'm trying to lose, but I've noticed that when shopping for clothes - the salesfolks actually see me. Was starting to wonder if I'd created a cloak of invisibility.
I can't wait till I catch my next flight, just to see people not afraid to sit next to me. While I stayed within my arm rests, my legs did tend to take up space.5 -
It's interesting reading the replies. When there really wasn't anything in my size in local shops they really tried to accommodate me, offering menswear pieces that look unisex. We also have these small cheaper shops that specialize in closeout, overstock, and liquidation. They don't really carry specific brands, just the excess stock they acquire from other shops. These are less organized and often only have a piece or two of each item in a random size. I remember once I couldn't find anything in my size (I was very fat) and the employee offered to open a new pallet because he remembered the last order had some larger pieces. I doubt it's me, I think people in my area are just helpful in general and I lucked out to be fat here - or I'm just less observant and tend to remember the good more often than the bad.6
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