Anxiety at gym

maryjane159 wrote: »

@TravisJhunt we don’t have any ladies only gym here only mixed gyms and there is only one gym near me and some boys who used to call me fat go there aswell so I don’t want them to stare at me or make nasty comments

I get it, I do. You are brave to want to push through this real challenge. So far you've gotten as far as the parking lot. Next up is actually going inside. Have you actually joined it yet? If not, then go to the front desk and say something like "I'm interested in joining this gym. Can you tell me something about rates and show me around?" Notice who's there, and how crowded or not it is. You can ask "are there times when it is not really busy?"

Once you have done that, you can maybe plan your next step, which is to join up and go the first time. It will be easier because you already know where everything is, and you may have chosen a time when it is less busy. I often would tell myself, "it's OK if all you do is walk at a modest pace on the treadmill for 10 minutes."

I don't know how much anxiety you have about changing in the locker room. If that it part of it, go wearing your sweats or whatever you want to work out in. My local "Y" showers are functional but on the gross side so I just throw a sweatshirt on over my sweaty self and take a shower, etc. when I get home.

While you are taking the time to take that first step, you can think about your strategy as you walk outside (weather and ice permitting). That way, you are moving.

I wish you could have been at my gym this morning, it was mostly heavy people who were very unfit, a partially paralyzed guy rehabbing after a stroke, and a military vet with a false leg! Not everyone who goes to the gym is a fitness model.

With respect, it sounds like your fear of men is partly based on bad experiences - you have mentioned your brother, as well as other boys who were unkind to you. It makes sense to want to avoid bullies.

Can you try a tour of your local gym? If they offer a tour, explain that you're worried about harassment and let them explain what they would do about it. Most gyms would take a pretty dim view of it and your bullies might not want to be banned from the only gym in your area.

If you can, go the first time with a friend who can do some of the talking for you and take the pressure off.

maryjane159 wrote: »

I really want to go to the gym to gain confidence and tone up my body and lose abit of extra flab I have going however I have extreme anxiety I’m scared to even go outside most of the time because I always feel judged by others or people are staring/talking about me and the gym scares me so much because it will be full of fit and healthy people while I’m fat and will be red and out of breath. I try to exercise at home but I have an evil older brother who always taunts and bullies me for it and even makes videos of me to laugh at. I really want to try and overcome my fear anyway by going to the gym but every time I attempt to go I will end up standing outside for ages too scared to go inside so I just want advice from others who suffer like this and what they did to overcome there fear and go to the gym I also have an extreme fear of men I don’t know why but I find it difficult to be around men or for men to look at me so I would also like advice on how to possibly avoid men in the gym or what will make me less noticeable if that makes any sense

I don't suffer from that kind of anxiety but I can empathize with you. I think other posters have been too easy on your older brother. What you describe is criminal. If you haven't already, talk to your parents about it. If they are unable or unwilling to intervene, perhaps talk to your clergyman or a counselor at school and ask him or her to help explain to your parents your brother's actions and its consequences.

"Extreme anxiety" is worth talking to professionals about. If you haven't already done it, perhaps ask the school counselor or your regular doctor if a referral is a good idea.

Planet Fitness Gyms are franchise operations so the experience will vary somewhat depending on the owner but one of the corporate slogans is "Judgement free zone." At the one I go to everyone, members and staff seem to bend over backward to live up to it. So far I have never been the only overweight person working out.

Good luck Maryjane.

rheddmobile wrote: »

I wish you could have been at my gym this morning, it was mostly heavy people who were very unfit, a partially paralyzed guy rehabbing after a stroke, and a military vet with a false leg! Not everyone who goes to the gym is a fitness model.

this. Especially if you choose a time when they also offer pool aerobic classes (if the gym near you has a pool), since those are often used by those with mobility impairments.

maryjane159 wrote: »

@TravisJhunt we don’t have any ladies only gym here only mixed gyms and there is only one gym near me and some boys who used to call me fat go there aswell so I don’t want them to stare at me or make nasty comments

Curious have you thought about calisthenics? Usually you can do at home and just use body weight. Even when I was a hard core weight lifter I worked many of these movements into my programs so they have merit. For example you can use a chair and do dips with body weight that will make your arms burn like mad. Push ups, chin ups, step ups, squats, all things that could be done at home without weights or a gym. Grab some good quality bands and you can do some pretty good stuff with that and a wall hook tied into a wall joist. You could even try something like the P90x system but do only what you can.

Baring this and you still want to go to the gym for sure, how about with a partner that you trust. Maybe a friend trying to lose weight as well. If you have someone to support you, its often easier and more fun.

I had these same fears and expressed them to my son and his answer was "Nobody cares". Seriously, nobody is looking at you thinking anything. You won't be the only fat person there. If you can afford it, get a personal trainer. If not do what I did, join Golds Gym and take their classes. They have cardio, cycle and core classes to help you get in shape. You will be much better off at the gym with like minded supportive people rather than with a bully brother at home. You will make friends there and it will become easier as time passes. In fact, it may become addictive. You will soon crave the positive energy and the people there, not to mention watching the pounds drop off. You can do it.

Ditto above. A couple thoughts. First, when I see someone at the gym who is really heavy or whatever I may look at them (I don't know how that person interprets my look) but in my head I'm thinking, that person is taking charge of their life and getting down to business to right their ship---bravo! Second, a strategy to help you with self-consciousness might be to don headphones and listen to favorite music or a podcast in which you can immerse yourself. Like many above have said, most people are also wearing headphones and self-engrossed. Focus on what you are doing. If you have a question about how to do an exercise or machine, find a gym regular and ask--they will be flattered and thrilled to help you I guarantee it.

Fitnessmom82 wrote: »

mulecanter wrote: »

If you have a question about how to do an exercise or machine, find a gym regular and ask--they will be flattered and thrilled to help you I guarantee it.

This is great advice!! I see the regulars helping out newbies quite often at my gym. I was struggling with a machine once and one of the regular guys came right over and helped me out. I liked getting the help and you could tell they were happy to give the help. The regular guys in the weight lifting area will usually help lift heavier weights that someone left on a machine too. I've been at my gym for 7 months now and can really see how everyone wants everyone to succeed. I never thought that way before. I assumed everyone was judgy or obnoxious. If you decide to go, commit to a set time if you can. Before you know it you will be one of the regulars!

(except maybe January when a larger percentage of regulars are rooting for the new and almost universally temporary army of resolutioners to throw in the towel as soon as possible so the gym crowded-ness resumes normalcy. but otherwise, yes - the regulars are generally rooting for people to succeed and become one of them (the regulars).)

Pam934789975321 wrote: »

I had these same fears and expressed them to my son and his answer was "Nobody cares". Seriously, nobody is looking at you thinking anything. You won't be the only fat person there. If you can afford it, get a personal trainer. If not do what I did, join Golds Gym and take their classes. They have cardio, cycle and core classes to help you get in shape. You will be much better off at the gym with like minded supportive people rather than with a bully brother at home. You will make friends there and it will become easier as time passes. In fact, it may become addictive. You will soon crave the positive energy and the people there, not to mention watching the pounds drop off. You can do it.

At a Golds Gym where i live they had aerobic machines in a special area in low lighting and a female only area. I really liked it. Some gyms are really nice. Now I am in a small town and the closest gym is down the street and it is a little harder anxiety wise to go there because that is where I was called fat and there are a lot of guys and it is small. I would definitely look into a community gym if you can.

I too had this major anxiety about stepping foot into the gym.. Turns out Lorazepam is MY jam! took one of those little pill, walked in and OWNED that gym! Talk to you doctor about anxiety! I don't need it when I go now, just had to get over that hump, and realize no one really cares what I look like at the gym!