How to look less approachable at the gym?
Options
Sam29a
Posts: 201 Member
I recently re-joined the gym and although I'm glad when I go, I find myself constantly trying to get away from people that just want to chat. I've tried to make sure I'm not using a machine near other people, I avoid eye-contact, I've tried looking really moody, I've tried putting my headphones on (with no music as it gives me a headache), but maybe I just have a really friendly gym, nothing works.
I'm probably coming across really mean, but I have limited time when I go to workout, I'm usually clock-watching the whole time I'm there and have to rush to fit everything in. I'm also very socially awkward, always have been, so I hate the thought of other people listening in to my conversations, I never really know what to say, over-think things after and cringe about it.
What is the best way to deal with this? I don't want to be rude and ignore people, but at the same time, I'd really rather not chat. Especially when I'm all sweaty and gross.
I'm probably coming across really mean, but I have limited time when I go to workout, I'm usually clock-watching the whole time I'm there and have to rush to fit everything in. I'm also very socially awkward, always have been, so I hate the thought of other people listening in to my conversations, I never really know what to say, over-think things after and cringe about it.
What is the best way to deal with this? I don't want to be rude and ignore people, but at the same time, I'd really rather not chat. Especially when I'm all sweaty and gross.
20
Replies
-
I recently re-joined the gym and although I'm glad when I go, I find myself constantly trying to get away from people that just want to chat. I've tried to make sure I'm not using a machine near other people, I avoid eye-contact, I've tried looking really moody, I've tried putting my headphones on (with no music as it gives me a headache), but maybe I just have a really friendly gym, nothing works.
I'm probably coming across really mean, but I have limited time when I go to workout, I'm usually clock-watching the whole time I'm there and have to rush to fit everything in. I'm also very socially awkward, always have been, so I hate the thought of other people listening in to my conversations, I never really know what to say, over-think things after and cringe about it.
What is the best way to deal with this? I don't want to be rude and ignore people, but at the same time, I'd really rather not chat. Especially when I'm all sweaty and gross.
Feel free to be rude and ignore people. Unless they are coming up to you asking for a spot, they are being rude by interrupting your workout IMO, especially if you are wearing headphones which is typically a pretty good "don't talk to me" clue. You can tell them "Sorry, I'm on a time crunch and don't have time to talk right now" and go back to doing what you're doing. You don't owe it to anyone to talk to them.52 -
I just pop in headphones and politely smile and say "have a good day!" They get the hint eventually.
12 -
When I don’t feel like being bothered I have 2 go to shirts, one that says “do not disturb” and one that just says “nope”. They get the job done haha54
-
headsets.0
-
OP: Sounds like you're on the right track w/the headphones and absence of eye contact.
I would add the suggestion to NOT smile at anyone. Don't frown but don't smile either. Just project a flat "I don't care about you/leave me alone/I don't want to be bothered" affect.
It also helps to be totally focused just on what you are doing, rather than paying any attn to others, which requires you to ignore everyone else in the gym. Something that you say you don't like to do.
However, if you can do this, no one will want to approach you unless absolutely necessary. If you do this and people are still "bothering you," you must be giving off a contrary vibe.
Can't say what that might be w/o seeing you in context but, if you are female, it almost certainly will have something to do with your being a woman, who people view as more approachable by both men and women, and not necessarily anything that you are unintentionally doing to invite the interruptuons.
Good luck!3 -
I wear headphones, don't wear makeup, don't smile, and don't make eye contact. If someone talks to me I give curt but not rude answers as needed and keep doing what I was doing.1
-
I am introvert and headphones are my best friend. I just pop them in and go about my business. No one talks to me.4
-
If you want to be left alone you have to establish dominance:
1. Grunt really loud during all of your lifts.
2. Scream "lightweight baby!" after you're done a set.
3. Find the biggest guy in the gym and slap his rear then call him soft.
That's literally it.67 -
JMcGee2018 wrote: »I recently re-joined the gym and although I'm glad when I go, I find myself constantly trying to get away from people that just want to chat. I've tried to make sure I'm not using a machine near other people, I avoid eye-contact, I've tried looking really moody, I've tried putting my headphones on (with no music as it gives me a headache), but maybe I just have a really friendly gym, nothing works.
I'm probably coming across really mean, but I have limited time when I go to workout, I'm usually clock-watching the whole time I'm there and have to rush to fit everything in. I'm also very socially awkward, always have been, so I hate the thought of other people listening in to my conversations, I never really know what to say, over-think things after and cringe about it.
What is the best way to deal with this? I don't want to be rude and ignore people, but at the same time, I'd really rather not chat. Especially when I'm all sweaty and gross.
Feel free to be rude and ignore people. Unless they are coming up to you asking for a spot, they are being rude by interrupting your workout IMO, especially if you are wearing headphones which is typically a pretty good "don't talk to me" clue. You can tell them "Sorry, I'm on a time crunch and don't have time to talk right now" and go back to doing what you're doing. You don't owe it to anyone to talk to them.
I think I'm too worried about offending people, but you're right, I should be more honest. It's nothing personal, just rather not chat.5 -
People who are SERIOUS about training will have NO PROBLEM telling people "Just gotta say I'm limited on time. Can we chat later?" Concise and direct without being mean.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
14 -
foreversnafu wrote: »If you want to be left alone you have to establish dominance:
1. Grunt really loud during all of your lifts.
2. Scream "lightweight baby!" after you're done a set.
3. Find the biggest guy in the gym and slap his rear then call him soft.
That's literally it.
Thanks for the tips, I will give it a try next time I'm there
3 -
Just keep muttering out loud while doing sets: "kick him in the gut, 1, kick him in the nuts, 2, kick him while he's down, 3" and repeat for each count of three... I am fairly sure I wouldn't approach
Or wear headphones and when someone talks to you point to the headphones and YELL: IS LOUD. CAN'T HEAR YOU! SORRY!... smile or wave, and go right back to what you were doing completely ignoring them.
Might be embarassing if they just want to use some equipment you're hogging... but hey.9 -
Eat raw garlic and burb in their face when they talk to you
15 -
Say you are too busy to talk right then and keep doing what you are doing.
2 -
OP: Sounds like you're on the right track w/the headphones and absence of eye contact.
I would add the suggestion to NOT smile at anyone. Don't frown but don't smile either. Just project a flat "I don't care about you/leave me alone/I don't want to be bothered" affect.
It also helps to be totally focused just on what you are doing, rather than paying any attn to others, which requires you to ignore everyone else in the gym. Something that you say you don't like to do.
However, if you can do this, no one will want to approach you unless absolutely necessary. If you do this and people are still "bothering you," you must be giving off a contrary vibe.
Can't say what that might be w/o seeing you in context but, if you are female, it almost certainly will have something to do with your being a woman, who people view as more approachable by both men and women, and not necessarily anything that you are unintentionally doing to invite the interruptuons.
Good luck!
I think that's just it, I look more approachable and friendly than I actually am lol. To be fair, the gym I go to is full of super friendly people, lots of stay-at-home mothers who are looking for an adult to chat to, lots of men that want to help you out. I think once I've been there a while people will get it that I'm an introvert and prefer to be left alone, maybe it's just because I'm new.1 -
People who are SERIOUS about training will have NO PROBLEM telling people "Just gotta say I'm limited on time. Can we chat later?" Concise and direct without being mean.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Best answer so far !0 -
Say "have a great day" and keep on lifting.1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.7K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.8K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 395 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 960 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions