How to look less approachable at the gym?

Seffell

That's interesting. My gym is quite big and full of people but noone talks to anybody unless they are friends. Where are you from? UK here.

kschildroth

I need to work on my RBF because apparently I give off a very approachable vibe while having headphones in and doing burpees. I had three people in 20 minutes come up and talk during them.

MostlyWater

I wear silly looking biker clothes to spin class. I have a very very short haircut. People are either embarrassed or afraid of me.

saragd012

I have this issue in the gym a lot too, I try never to look at people because I have a terrible habit that when I get nervous/uncomfortable I smile. Not a great way to deter people. Plus earbuds really hurt my ears so instead I just try really hard to pretend I cant hear/don't notice someone trying to get my attention. I also wear an xl shirt and a big ugly sweatband while practicing my best attempt at RBF. I'm not particularly skilled at it still, so when I see it's particularly busy I stare at the ground as I walk by people and hope they think I'm just a weirdo and leave me alone. When all else fails "I'm so sorry, I'm running super late this morning, I really have to focus if I'm going to get through my workout in time"

iWishMyNameWasRebel

I have a similar problem. I never take my earbuds out (and have music cranked). I don't make eye contact, don't look happy, don't look interested in anything other than people not using equipment I need as their doorstop. But, I have people literally wave me down until I put down whatever heavy thing it is I'm holding, and pop out an earbud. Then they tell me either 1) I'm doing a move wrong (I'm not), or 2) Tell me I'm "doing great and will lose weight in no time!"

That's fine. They piss me off so much by intentionally interrupting me that after I smile politely or scowl (as the need may be), and shove my earbud back in, I work out even harder to burn off my annoyance. LOL!!!

sarahlifts

RBF, ear buds, thousand yard gaze, avoiding eye contact has not worked for me. I am seriously thinking of getting a shirt of a few *kitten* that read,
Married AF
Married EST 2000
Nope
Shut up and lift
Nah

My power hour is at 5 am. It is the only time that is my own I can have to myself all day. I spend a great deal of that hour ignoring guys who can't catch a clue.

As for what to say, some of these suggestions are just plain rude. they seem practical, like hey I'm trying to focus, could you not? I'm short on time, could you leave me alone? IDK I guess I've been trained to be nice. Most of all I wish people men and women would not approach me at all. I don't want to talk.

nrtauthor

Headphones. Put them in. Ignore anyone who attempts to talk. Don't make eye contact. If you must just pretend you don't hear them because you're focusing.

I was the sort who was chatty at gym but that's because I workout better if I'm chatting. I'm just a chatter. But if someone had their headphones in I wouldn't attempt to engage. Or if I did say something and someone would just smile, nod and not continue conversation I would take hint and not continue conversation...

BUT I did meet and make a few friends during my gym days and I'm glad for it. They were inspiring and helpful.

LivingtheLeanDream

don't wash?

BishopWankapin

Easy Peasy.

Protein Farts

YogiJear

Put on your best (worst?) resting *kitten* face and pretend you didn't hear them greet you when you headphones are in, worked for years for me!

nrtauthor

YogiJear wrote: »

Put on your best (worst?) resting *kitten* face and pretend you didn't hear them greet you when you headphones are in, worked for years for me!

Resting kitten face. LOL

I love this forum.

bluets2011

Move to London - England. I’ve been going to the same gym for 8 years. I don’t wear headphones I smile a lot and nope! Never ever anyone has spoken to me. I do talk to a 3 people in the yoga class. That’s it.

davidylin04

I've been told that some have found a hoodie that's up to be fairly effective.

jennifer_417

100_PROOF_ wrote: »

jennifer_417 wrote: »

100_PROOF_ wrote: »

Have you tried wearing something that would potentially cause people to avoid you? I'm not talking about silly novelty t-shirts either.
I think you need a better outfit to insure that you are left alone!
I recommend wearing a mixture of different Halloween costumes. Example- Batman ears, Superman cape, clown shoes, belly dancer crop top, 50s style skirt with Petty coat underneath.
Just go into your Halloween box and throw a gym uniform together.

If that doesn't work, just say these magical words and I can personally guarantee that nobody will talk to you again. Plus you don't need to be rude or assertive when saying it-

"Hello I'm on a keto diet . I think keto cures all these ailments magically and want to share my low carb tips with you! I also sell multi level marketing products to help me reach my goals, could I have your phone number to reach you about these multi level marketing items. Have you tried these shakes and pills and wraps? "

I guarantee nobody will ever talk to you again.

276% going to do this.

Please post pics in this thread . (Just so I can prove to others that my methods do indeed work)

Well, I was going to, but I realized that nobody talks to me anyway, so it didn't seem necessary. If humans ever start pestering me in public, I'll have this plan in my back pocket, though.

briscogun

I found (when I did go to a gym) that the time of day I went really impacted what you are talking about. In the early mornings, it was always all business in there. Everyone trying to squeeze in a workout on the way to work. But by 10:00am, all the folks that had nowhere to go and were in no hurry would be there just lounging around, slowly working out (maybe) and talking a lot. Evenings/nights were kinda both: usually packed, some people there to be serious and others there just screwing around.

Maybe mix up your time of day to find others more focused as you are?

not_a_runner

Grunt, and sweat profusely no matter what you're doing.


The only time this hasn't worked is when a handful of people have asked if I'm a powerlifter - LOL.

quiksylver296

briscogun wrote: »

I found (when I did go to a gym) that the time of day I went really impacted what you are talking about. In the early mornings, it was always all business in there. Everyone trying to squeeze in a workout on the way to work. But by 10:00am, all the folks that had nowhere to go and were in no hurry would be there just lounging around, slowly working out (maybe) and talking a lot. Evenings/nights were kinda both: usually packed, some people there to be serious and others there just screwing around.

Maybe mix up your time of day to find others more focused as you are?

Agree with this. 5 a.m. crowd is completely different than the 5 p.m. crowd at my gym. A.M. peeps are all about getting in and getting in done. P.M. are more social.

Tacklewasher

quiksylver296 wrote: »

briscogun wrote: »

I found (when I did go to a gym) that the time of day I went really impacted what you are talking about. In the early mornings, it was always all business in there. Everyone trying to squeeze in a workout on the way to work. But by 10:00am, all the folks that had nowhere to go and were in no hurry would be there just lounging around, slowly working out (maybe) and talking a lot. Evenings/nights were kinda both: usually packed, some people there to be serious and others there just screwing around.

Maybe mix up your time of day to find others more focused as you are?

Agree with this. 5 a.m. crowd is completely different than the 5 p.m. crowd at my gym. A.M. peeps are all about getting in and getting in done. P.M. are more social.

At my gym the 5 am crowd is very different. They get chased out as the gym doesn't open until 5:30.........

quiksylver296

Tacklewasher wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

briscogun wrote: »

I found (when I did go to a gym) that the time of day I went really impacted what you are talking about. In the early mornings, it was always all business in there. Everyone trying to squeeze in a workout on the way to work. But by 10:00am, all the folks that had nowhere to go and were in no hurry would be there just lounging around, slowly working out (maybe) and talking a lot. Evenings/nights were kinda both: usually packed, some people there to be serious and others there just screwing around.

Maybe mix up your time of day to find others more focused as you are?

Agree with this. 5 a.m. crowd is completely different than the 5 p.m. crowd at my gym. A.M. peeps are all about getting in and getting in done. P.M. are more social.

At my gym the 5 am crowd is very different. They get chased out as the gym doesn't open until 5:30.........

24 hour gym, baby!

Tacklewasher

quiksylver296 wrote: »

Tacklewasher wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

briscogun wrote: »

I found (when I did go to a gym) that the time of day I went really impacted what you are talking about. In the early mornings, it was always all business in there. Everyone trying to squeeze in a workout on the way to work. But by 10:00am, all the folks that had nowhere to go and were in no hurry would be there just lounging around, slowly working out (maybe) and talking a lot. Evenings/nights were kinda both: usually packed, some people there to be serious and others there just screwing around.

Maybe mix up your time of day to find others more focused as you are?

Agree with this. 5 a.m. crowd is completely different than the 5 p.m. crowd at my gym. A.M. peeps are all about getting in and getting in done. P.M. are more social.

At my gym the 5 am crowd is very different. They get chased out as the gym doesn't open until 5:30.........

24 hour gym, baby!

Yeah, I go to the Y so I can swim. Otherwise I'd hit up a 24 hour place. But even so, at 5:30 this morning there were more than 20 people waiting to get in. But they get right at it so the socializing is pretty minimal. Just grunts in the hallway. 'Sup!

SCoil123

I just tell people I need to get back to work when I’m done chatting or don’t want to talk at all. No one has ever seemed offended by it.

1houndgal

100_PROOF_ wrote: »

Have you tried wearing something that would potentially cause people to avoid you? I'm not talking about silly novelty t-shirts either.
I think you need a better outfit to insure that you are left alone!
I recommend wearing a mixture of different Halloween costumes. Example- Batman ears, Superman cape, clown shoes, belly dancer crop top, 50s style skirt with Petty coat underneath.
Just go into your Halloween box and throw a gym uniform together.

If that doesn't work, just say these magical words and I can personally guarantee that nobody will talk to you again. Plus you don't need to be rude or assertive when saying it-

"Hello I'm on a keto diet . I think keto cures all these ailments magically and want to share my low carb tips with you! I also sell multi level marketing products to help me reach my goals, could I have your phone number to reach you about these multi level marketing items. Have you tried these shakes and pills and wraps? "

I guarantee nobody will ever talk to you again.

Lol but... I have made a swim buddy at my ymca pool. We started our plans at the same time as a resoulution. She does KETO and I do the "AVOID KETOSIS" aporoach.

We each respect each other's choices. It is interesting to watch and compare our weight loss progress and swimming progress.

It is possible though to be a odd couple and still be friends. We support each other and learn from each other.

I still found this post funny though. Lol

bbell1985

I have friends at my gym. I also have days when I don't talk to them. At this point they can tell if it's a day when I want to chat and a day when I don't. I put a hat on, headphones, and give a fist bump or a wave and keep walking.

JaxxieKat

I wear really obnoxious political tees, blast my headphones, and maintain a constant RBF. Works like a charm.

marisap2010

I had someone at my gym tell me once that I need to “learn how to smile.” I honestly was so into whatever I was doing that I didn’t even notice him until he said something. I do try to give “the nod” to someone if we make eye contact, but that is about the extent of my interaction. Just put in the headphones and say, “Sorry, can’t talk now,” and keep it moving!

Noreenmarie1234

I have never had anyone talk to me or approach me. I have headphones in and do my own thing and don't make eye contact lol.

saymyname2

Sam29a wrote: »

I recently re-joined the gym and although I'm glad when I go, I find myself constantly trying to get away from people that just want to chat. I've tried to make sure I'm not using a machine near other people, I avoid eye-contact, I've tried looking really moody, I've tried putting my headphones on (with no music as it gives me a headache), but maybe I just have a really friendly gym, nothing works.

I'm probably coming across really mean, but I have limited time when I go to workout, I'm usually clock-watching the whole time I'm there and have to rush to fit everything in. I'm also very socially awkward, always have been, so I hate the thought of other people listening in to my conversations, I never really know what to say, over-think things after and cringe about it.

What is the best way to deal with this? I don't want to be rude and ignore people, but at the same time, I'd really rather not chat. Especially when I'm all sweaty and gross.

Buy this

inertiastrength

I find not wearing matching crop sweaters and tights helps. Also say no to pink Beats. Should do it!

inertiastrength

I don't mind speaking to people in the gym; the regulars I see all the time are like my second family I'm there so often. I especially like to chat the noobies; a smile and a few words at the drinking fountain go a long way. I was super intimidated the first time I went to the gym and I'm glad someone had the decency to chat me; something so small made a huge difference to me.

MelanieCN77

I've been hitting mine for a full year now 5-6 days a week and I think outside of the manager I've spoken to people 3-4 times total, and just little stuff that was over real fast. I definitely have RBF though, which probably contributes. If people talk to me, therefore, I'm nice to them.