Ladies with broad shoulders

mom23mangos wrote: »

speedingticket wrote: »

I honestly don't know how I'd feel if my partner said that. Like I know I'd be really angry, and lose a lot of respect for him, but I don't know how angry/pissed off I'd be. I'd be tempted to say it would be finito for him, I'd be well turned off by someone with such a "gendered" outlook.

I've got a wide back and shoulders (used to be a swimmer). Personally I like it. It makes me feel athletic and strong. I only started lifting recently, but would bloody love it if I could get a bit more hench up top. Keep going, and do what makes you happy!

Do you think your husband is at all insecure? Some of my friends asked my partner if he was worried I would get stronger than him. My partner is very supportive, and very proud (as in, of me), and so of course isn't remotely worried about that. But the fact two of my (male) friends thought that, made me think it might be an issue for some insecure blokes...

That's very insightful. A while back I was at the gym stretching after a workout and the guys next to me started saying how they saw me busting out pullups and were impressed. They asked if my husband worked out. When I told them no, he doesn't do anything physical, one guys remarked "And he doesn't care that you are all GI Jane?" So, yeah, that male thought pattern may be more common than we realize.

This is true, usually comments like these come from a place of a sense of inadequacy.

Stew501 wrote: »

My husband does lift & honestly, I thought it would be good for me to start & have some quality time together. He told me instead of doing 5 sets of 5 reps; that I need to do 5 sets of 8 or 10 reps, with lower weight.

Higher rep ranges, specifically in the 8-12, lead to more growth, so maybe he's encouraging you to get bigger through reverse psychology? Who knows. Either way, Mehdi's SL5x5 is pretty good for beginners (as in getting them through the door), but you should check out Ripp's SS3x5. It's kinda better for strength progress and you can substitute power cleans for barbell rows if that's what you prefer, although it's not recommended.

You should check this book out:
https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Basic-Barbell-Training/dp/0982522738

A definite must read for anyone who squats a lot.

You look amazing. It might be interesting to really question him about where that comment came from. "What would it mean to you if my muscles got bigger?" "What do you think "average is?" "Why do you want me to look average?" He may have no idea why these opinions came up and you two could explore all the gender baggage together. Women are generally pretty aware of all our internalized body crap, but I think men have fewer opportunities to pick apart the messages about masculinity, femininity, and bodies. If it's hard to talk on that level together, it might be best done with a counselor to referee!

Stew501 wrote: »

I guess instead of going to lift weight together; I’m gonna find a good marriage counselor instead. I didn’t develop broad shoulders in the last 4 weeks, but this male chauvinist attitude is new. Thanks again for all the support!

Your shoulders look awesome! I’ve just started lifting and I’d kill for shoulders like that. Hopefully he’s having a moment of insecure insanity and can work through it.

Nothing wrong with broad shoulders it makes the gains look even better #GainBanging

The good news is that at least he doesn't just love you for your body.

Op I thank God everyday for my broad shoulders especially now that I'm losing weight. I'm extremely pear shaped (26in waist 42.6in hips). My broad shoulders help balance my hips giving me that hour glass look. I really need to start upper body weight lifting but I'm so lazy. I'm happy for my current broad shoulders and really need it.

Stew501 wrote: »

Thanks; I personally love my shoulders, it makes my waist look small. He went on an hour lecture; saying I’m gonna look bulky if I keep adding 5lbs every week. I tried to explain to him that I’m eating at a calorie deficit & there’s no way I’m gonna look bulky. We agreed to disagree

Wow. Sounds like your husband knows nothing about muscle building. Does he even lift? I would be ashamed if I were him. Sounds like he is insecure, maybe he should start lifting and get his upper body bigger instead of telling you what to do. Just wow.

Plus, it is a lot harder for females to build muscle as they have 10x less testosterone that men and many other factors. No, you won't look 'bulky', keep doing what ya doin girl, get stronger

I would tell him his weight lifting makes a certain body part if his look small and he should be careful about that ...but I know you are more sensitive about his feelings than he is of yours, so you can just not say that and smile about the fact I typed it

No you are not being oversensitive.

My husband would never even think of saying that to me. The width of shoulders is determined by bone structure and rows don't change that.