why do exes look you up?

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Replies

  • sweebum
    sweebum Posts: 1,060 Member
    Build a second profile. Stock it with whips, chains and pictures of a mansion. let them friend that.

    What a great idea!
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    Not a thing I have had to deal with but guessing several reasons.

    Perhaps to see if you found someone else and how he/she compares so maybe an ego thing.
    They are a miserable person.
    To keep a foot in the door "just in case".

    Wow Carl...you hit the nail on the head...

    That sums up any reason I have had to deal with exes in the past several years.
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    Curiosity I suppose.
  • taso42_DELETED
    taso42_DELETED Posts: 3,394 Member
    Not a thing I have had to deal with but guessing several reasons.

    Perhaps to see if you found someone else and how he/she compares so maybe an ego thing.
    They are a miserable person.
    To keep a foot in the door "just in case".

    Wow Carl...you hit the nail on the head...

    That sums up any reason I have had to deal with exes in the past several years.

    Wow, sounds like most people have broken up on really bad terms. That's too bad. Well if that is the case, then yes, I suppose it would be a bit weird to get a friend request from them.

    I have people who are not my exes who I would rather not have anything to do with ever again, but oddly enough, I think I'm friends with all my exes. Maybe it's because they're really cool, and I'm really cool :smokin:
  • Mkleder
    Mkleder Posts: 289
    Forget Facebook, my old, circa 1980's, boyfriend has continuously tried to contact me, via mail to my mom's house, for the past decade. He's totally whacked out and his letters -- seemingly handwritten in crayon -- look like the threat/ransom notes you see on TV police dramas.

    My ex husband tracked me down online and spent a few years contacting me every 6 months or so under the story that he wanted to "make things right with the people he hurt in the past." But, in the context of our marriage ending because 1) he was a liar and a cheat and 2) he had an annoying habit of "collecting" old girlfriends and staying in contact with them, I told him to get lost using some choice words I never use at any other time.

    Both royal losers.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I'm not truly friends with any of mine. If I saw them somewhere, I'd definitely say hello and make small talk. And if I lived within easy traveling distance of one of them in particular, I really could see myself being friends with him and his wife. They are good people.

    But other than that, there's just too much water under the bridge. When someone dumps me, says "let's be friends," and I'm stupid enough to go along with it, only to have the guy totally disappear from my life two weeks later, it kind of ruins any chance that we're ever going to be "real" friends. It's one thing to do that when you're a kid and you don't really know how to handle a break-up, but it's entirely another to do it as an adult with someone who was your best friend for years. There's just no coming back from that.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    I have exes I'm friends with and exes I'm not. I assume they have all looked me up because I have looked them up.

    I just spoke to one the other day and I made plans to meet him, (and introduce him to my husband) while I'm in New York in the fall. We will always be friends.

    When you spend a significant amount of time with a person, is it not natural to wonder how they are doing?

    Plus, I think the, "just in case" thing is always a factor.
  • dayzeerock
    dayzeerock Posts: 918 Member
    I'm friends with all my exes...in real life and on FB...guess I never saw this as "weird" or a bad thing...
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
    Facebook makes it so easy to "check up" on past friends and significant others. I think a lot of people just have a curiosity from time to time of what their exes are up to, what's changed, how successful they have or haven't been, etc. Its not necessarily a bad, stalking sort of scenario, but sometimes that does happen too. I think from time to time we are all curious about people we were close to years ago and what they have made out of their lives...whether this be exes, old schoolyard friends, neighbors, etc.
    I do have a stalker, he makes up fake profiles to try to get me to add him on FB. I never dated him but he tried. As soon as I stopped talking to him (be4 I knew he was this type) He "took up" with my twin! Havent seen them since! He still stalks me! Shes non too bright! They didnt work out! So yes I guess some ppl are just creeps!
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    i only have 2 exes. One left me for another girl, but i was moving anyways so i didn't feel too bad. We are friends on Facebook, and i have always thought of him as an amazing guy (we just aren't meant to date).

    my OTHER ex and i had a HORRIBLE breakup. I tried to be friends with him afterward because the way he acts with friends is cool, but behind closed doors he is a LOT different...didn't work. We were friends for a while, and he deleted me. Maybe in a few years when we have both moved on i would be happy to be friends again since i know he is a good person inside.

    :)
  • JustSheri
    JustSheri Posts: 12
    I look up people all the time. Just out of curiosity...nothing else. When I reach my goal weight and I am looking HOT, I will make mine un-private (is that even a word??) so they can all look at me!!! I wish some of my ex's look me up so they can see how happy I am!!! I am always nervous that I will run into an ex. I DO NOT want them to see me fat.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    I look up people all the time. Just out of curiosity...nothing else.

    Yep, me as well. I like to see how they are doing, what they look like, how they have progressed.

    I never friend them or try and get back in contact though. It seems to me that if we broke and haven't spoken for a while then there was probably a good reason for that state of affairs existing. Nostalgia is not the same as reality.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
    Not a thing I have had to deal with but guessing several reasons.

    Perhaps to see if you found someone else and how he/she compares so maybe an ego thing.
    They are a miserable person.
    To keep a foot in the door "just in case".

    Wow Carl...you hit the nail on the head...

    That sums up any reason I have had to deal with exes in the past several years.

    Wow, sounds like most people have broken up on really bad terms. That's too bad. Well if that is the case, then yes, I suppose it would be a bit weird to get a friend request from them.

    I have people who are not my exes who I would rather not have anything to do with ever again, but oddly enough, I think I'm friends with all my exes. Maybe it's because they're really cool, and I'm really cool :smokin:

    Haha...I personally have not had bad break ups...it's just one of those "that ship has sailed" sort of things...

    And when they do come back around, they've been manipulative and trying to squeeze their way back in and sorry....your chance was years ago. Some of them I can be friends with but on very loose terms because they just don't get the "hey I'm married" part..!!
  • Scoobies87
    Scoobies87 Posts: 379
    I always look at my exes, even though we are no longer friends. I wouldn't go as far as to add them, however I can't help but feel smug when I see that one of them (A nasty guy) is going bald and getting a belly.

    As far as the exes that didn't end badly go, I wish them happiness and like to see how they are.
  • ma34113
    ma34113 Posts: 93 Member
    prolly cuz they still have that tiny tiny bit of interest cuz you were apart of their live wether it ended bad or good they will alays wonder what your up to especially if you had dated for a while...its like an old friend type of thing your just interested to see whats up but not looking for trouble....i have the same prob lol
  • live2dream
    live2dream Posts: 614 Member
    My husband's ex tried friending me. Um no. Sure I knew her growing up in the same town and being best friends with her cousin, but was never friends with her. She was obviously wanting to spy on my hubby. LOL

    I almost considering accepting because her life doesn't look as fabulous as ours, but I thought that would just not be nice.
  • gbbhey
    gbbhey Posts: 188
    just watch the movie high fidelity. it will explain everything.
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
    It is very irritating.... I don't want to talk to them or see them anymore... duh, that's why I said "hit the road" in the first place.

    I've asked why they bothered to look me up again.... I know the answer now :noway:... but I'm not going into that :wink:
  • staceyGO
    staceyGO Posts: 376
    Man oh man, I deactivated my account for these reasons exactly.. the relationships are so strange and creepy. People who you wouldn't speak to if you passed them in the hallway wanna be your fb friends... it goes both ways though, one day I found myself commenting on baby pictures, of a girl I went o elementary school and thought - How creepy am I?? I got so wrapped up in being nosey seeing what other people were up to, I lost sight of the things that were real and actually exist in my world. The freed up head space is unbelievable!!

    Ex relationships are always complicated and strange.. its the what if mentality, people are always gonna be curious. :happy:
  • ☆ShawnsMom08☆
    ☆ShawnsMom08☆ Posts: 74 Member
    That is...odd. I had the issue once, and removed him. 10 years later he still talks about me. Must be pretty amazing to keep him talking about me ;)

    You are so awesome! Duhh! :smile:
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
    Haha.....thats the reason I changed my name on here!
  • Kate6868
    Kate6868 Posts: 159 Member
    I have friended several exes on FB. They were a significant part of my life and we ended things amicably. It never occurred to me that it would be weird. My husband also has exes as FB friends.
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    That is...odd. I had the issue once, and removed him. 10 years later he still talks about me. Must be pretty amazing to keep him talking about me ;)

    You are so awesome! Duhh! :smile:

    You're the most awesome of all. :D
  • cartern1
    cartern1 Posts: 270 Member
    Another reason I refuse to be on facebook. I also change my mobile/cell number every couple of years too lol

    there is a reason these people aren't in my life anymore - i don't need them coming back and f**&ng up my head

    Also I bumped in to an ex the other week, kinda got me think about her again i was stressed i'd go down the depressed route agian but strangely...i got this feeling like i'd dodged a bullet
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
    My X-husband tried to facebook request me 3 months after he told me to "F off" via text message. I was like really dude?
  • cartern1
    cartern1 Posts: 270 Member
    Also, thinking about this - About 4 months ago I got a call at like 4:30am from a number I reconised but wasn't in my phone book. I answered it and it was an ex just "ringing to see how I was", she was talkin like nothing had happened. Like she hadn't ripped my heart out and shat on it.

    We'd broken up about 2 years before this! What a pshyco!
  • duqtape
    duqtape Posts: 121 Member
    The only ex I'm friends with on facebook is from my senior year in hs/first year in college. It ended horribly bad with some really immature actions on both parts and some serious lies told and friends loss.

    But now, he's married with 2 kids and is happy. We are friends because we were just kids. It's okay to be friends now as adults. All the lost friends are friends again, we've all grown up a lot in the last 13 years.
  • calibri
    calibri Posts: 439 Member
    I find their lives interesting/amusing. One who let his mum break us apart still lives with her and is still languishing in community college when he was supposed to graduate before I did (I graduated four years ago).
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