Does anyone else get irritated when people ask "what's your secret?"

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  • wefts
    wefts Posts: 183 Member
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    I get the OP , and I know it from both sides years ago I lost weight logging , then stopped slowly the weight crept back plus more . And for years I kept thinking I was eating Healthy , loads of vegetables and healthy grains, lean meats , but steadily gaining . blaming it on metabolism and my age . then I came here and got on board with tracking and working out . I have lost 44 lbs . now many folks see the change and ask , Truthful answer is I stopped over eating ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Surprise no one wants to hear it they all want some quick fix that does not involve taking responsibility for what they choose to put in their mouth . I am tired of being quizzed on what I ieat then hearing oh I hate vegetables I could not eat that restrictive . ha I eat 1400 cal most days and usually feel full but I do not fill up on greasy or carb laden foods . many that do not like being obese do not hate the weight enough to eat in the ways that will help to shed lbs
  • positivepowers
    positivepowers Posts: 902 Member
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    Maid_of_Mischief1 wrote: »
    No... did you ever think that maybe that classmate of yours had other issues and that's why she's eating like she Is? I'm sure she doesn't want to be the size she is but just hasn't had the motivation or maybe resources to help her get there. It's definitly not a pet peeve of mine when someone asks me things like that, I'm more than happy to talk to them about my lifestyle that helps me be where I am.
    denny_mac wrote: »
    All of the other subtexts of this thread aside, I think I'd get annoyed if anyone kept asking me the same question and accused me of withholding "secret" information for some reason.

    Maybe just try to explain it differently. Something like "The concept is simple, but the execution is not. Eat healthier, exercise more. Repeat." Then maybe offer suggestions of how to do those things.

    ^^This. I would probably try to explain a few times then I would give up. I have little patience for people who play games like this.

    Maybe if you suggest (nicely) that she log her food intake for a couple of days to see what she's really eating. Or just suggest that's how YOU got started. She may not even realize how many calories she is ingesting. I know that when I began to log on MFP it was a real eye opener!

    In the end, though, whatever she does or doesn't do is on her. You tried. That's all you can do.
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    My secret.
    Me:
    sgovuxl8g27d.jpg
    Fantasy:
    8lnrh6iybriu.gif
    Me still:
    6d7vvaw79j17.gif




  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    KiwiLifter wrote: »
    I was entering the shop front of a gas station one time and a guy asked me "How long did it take for you to get into that kind of shape bro"?

    Without stopping I said "about 15 years".

    Yes, and I bet he was totally crushed when you said that, since he was hoping it was more like 15 weeks. Some of the people I know want immediate results and if some big change doesn't happen in a week, they give up and call it impossible. Imagine if fitness was an on-going process that actually took time and effort to build and maintain? Hardly anyone would be doing it. ;)

    Real, lasting, quality results don't happen overnight. People don't just "wake up like this." It's a long term investment. And personalities that need instant gratification struggle with the concept. Most people can achieve realistic goals. It's just a matter of priorities. How badly do you want it? If staying the same is easier, more comfortable and familiar, you are less likely to make a change. That's true with life in general.

    Some people value health and fitness less than others, and I'm cool with that. I mean, I'm lazy in life about certain things, too - like getting ahead career-wise, etc. Other people work really hard to get to the top of their game, while I'm fine just doing well and staying where I am. It's not a huge priority for me to climb that ladder. So I get that not everybody is going to care as much about fitness as I do, either.

    I just wish more people would realize that there's no magic secret or shortcut to most things in life. A lot of people seem to want to "cheat" their way to a quick victory - why would I work hard if there's a pill I can take instead? But in reality, you either focus your energy, put in the time and effort to get a goal realized, or you don't.

  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,034 Member
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    lavinia_whateley_goals wrote: »
    this post vintage mfp, like a fine wine combining fat shaming, a touch of humble bragging and the faint note of flame baiting

    pairs well with dry humor

    Yep. You said it, sister.
  • bojack3
    bojack3 Posts: 1,483 Member
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    jenilla1 wrote: »
    KiwiLifter wrote: »
    I was entering the shop front of a gas station one time and a guy asked me "How long did it take for you to get into that kind of shape bro"?

    Without stopping I said "about 15 years".

    Yes, and I bet he was totally crushed when you said that, since he was hoping it was more like 15 weeks. Some of the people I know want immediate results and if some big change doesn't happen in a week, they give up and call it impossible. Imagine if fitness was an on-going process that actually took time and effort to build and maintain? Hardly anyone would be doing it. ;)

    Real, lasting, quality results don't happen overnight. People don't just "wake up like this." It's a long term investment. And personalities that need instant gratification struggle with the concept. Most people can achieve realistic goals. It's just a matter of priorities. How badly do you want it? If staying the same is easier, more comfortable and familiar, you are less likely to make a change. That's true with life in general.

    Some people value health and fitness less than others, and I'm cool with that. I mean, I'm lazy in life about certain things, too - like getting ahead career-wise, etc. Other people work really hard to get to the top of their game, while I'm fine just doing well and staying where I am. It's not a huge priority for me to climb that ladder. So I get that not everybody is going to care as much about fitness as I do, either.

    I just wish more people would realize that there's no magic secret or shortcut to most things in life. A lot of people seem to want to "cheat" their way to a quick victory - why would I work hard if there's a pill I can take instead? But in reality, you either focus your energy, put in the time and effort to get a goal realized, or you don't.

    Hey I used to feel that way about average people who worked out. I was a professional athlete and weight was a huge part of my sport. I could drop weight quickly and was in tremdous physical shape. So I looked at people that were "in shape" as many that workout look at people who are overweight looking for a quick solution. Everyone has a story, and it's human nature to take the path of least resistance. Some people respond to "You just need to get up and do it", and some have issues where there needs fixing before that can happen. Everyones own success is anecdotal, what works for you might not yet fit into someones mindset. I'm a results guy.....so my gauge of success is based on getting the job done. Sometimes a foundation doesn't exist for a house you are trying to build and it will ultimately fall down every time until you pour that foundation. As a trainer, I don't have the patience to build houses in the sand.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
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    Never going to tell the secret. Spent too much money getting the records sealed.
  • sschauer513
    sschauer513 Posts: 313 Member
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    I get the you look great now and say what I didn't before. But so many people say they can't and as Yoda says that is why you fail. I did it, I don't consider myself overly special in that regard so why can't they? It's really a matter of getting your priorities in line and for me my health went higher on my list than was before. If the person isn't willing to change that it won't matter. But most people are very disappointed to hear I work my a** off and watch what I eat and it has taken 1.5 years to get where I'm at and I'm only 2/3 way there.
  • iWishMyNameWasRebel
    iWishMyNameWasRebel Posts: 174 Member
    edited March 2018
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    Yes and no. "Yes" in that it does get really old having to constantly answer the same questions for any topic, mainly because I don't like to repeat myself (but that's my issue, not the person who has asked me one time). I don't mind at all when someone asks me once, but if that same person keeps asking me over and over and over, I'd have to put a stop to it, probably by asking *them* some questions.

    "No" in that it does mean I've been successful enough for people to notice, and it's my opportunity to share the thoughts and actions that helped me, so that maybe a light bulb will go off for someone else who is miserable.

    If you want to change your life badly enough, you will find your own way to do it and keep working at it. You should definitely talk to other people who've made these changes, but don't hound them repeatedly, because your problem is not their problem to solve for you.

  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
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    Also,
    When I was at my thinnest, I was asked several times what 'diet' I was on. I wasn't. Just ate better, moved more. Now I'm trying to lose some weight again. Funny, nobody gets curious why or how you got fat again.
  • iWishMyNameWasRebel
    iWishMyNameWasRebel Posts: 174 Member
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    KeepRunningFatboy wrote: »
    Having spent most of my life as obese, I suspect this person might be self medicating through eating, and that her question actually might have a slight cry for help or compassion behind it. She may know the facts, but she is stuck in a lifetime of habitual behaviors that reveals that food is how she responds to life. Stress? eat. Loneliness? Eat. Looking in a mirror and seeing the pain of obesity in her own eyes? Eat away the pain. More sugar, more fats! It temporarily comforts me till I wake up tomorrow and have to wear my stretch pants or sweats and face The cruelties of tomorrow.

    Soooo agree with this. Many people understand they need to eat less and move more, but they need to figure out how to actually DO it. Telling them "just do it" does not compute. They need help to get to the root of their relationship with food and with their body.
  • BattyKnitter
    BattyKnitter Posts: 503 Member
    edited March 2018
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    About 7 years ago I lost over 40 lbs and I had people ask me what my secret was all the time. People always look at you like you are crazy when you say you count calories, it honestly takes me 2 minutes more to weigh my food, but you would think you are telling people to spend 5 hours a day weighing and logging food with the way they react. Most people are just not ready to hear that they need to eat less/move more.

    I don't know what I would do if someone started harassing me for my "secret" though that sounds like a sucky and delicate situation.
  • saragd012
    saragd012 Posts: 693 Member
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    I understand what you're trying to say OP, but what a terrible way to say it. It is frustrating when people constantly ask for advice they have zero intention to follow. I've been asked several times about how I stay thin, and I'm aware that 1/2 the time no matter what I say the other person will walk away still firmly believing I'm "just naturally slim". The other half the time is usually met with "oh I guess everyone has to work on it" in a rather defeated tone (I guess they hoped there was a magic secret or something) so I'm not sure that's any better.

    Either way I will continue to explain how MFP works, suggest they join me one morning in the gym, and respect their decision to live their lives as they see fit. Dwelling on another persons size or the foods they eat doesn't do anyone any good. I imagine if that woman saw this post she would be absolutely heartbroken that her peers talked about her this way.
  • RachelElser
    RachelElser Posts: 1,049 Member
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    That would be annoying! I don't mind someone asking, and then listening when I tell them. But to have someone refuse to believe you and keep pestering you about it! Rude!
  • kam26001
    kam26001 Posts: 2,799 Member
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    Dress up in a wizard's robe one day and THEN tell her everything you know. Some people just need a little extra convincing.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,741 Member
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    Another rant I have (related) is friends who claim calorie counting won't work for them and that I am wrong, I just had a mysterious change in my metabolism that they didn't have.

    I have one friend who says this. She routinely eats 4 chicken pot pies with mashed potatoes and a 32 oz Mudslide for dinner and then tells me calorie counting does not work for her or for anyone...and I should check with my doc about my metabolism because I might have various medical conditions. She once lost about 80 lb going to Curves and eating 1 Lean Cuisine per day. And gained it all back. So she knows everything, y'all.

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