Does anyone else get irritated when people ask "what's your secret?"

theyrenothorsestheyretapirs
theyrenothorsestheyretapirs Posts: 5 Member
in Chit-Chat
I specifically mean when people who're maybe, a little larger, ask, and then refuse to listen, or accuse you of lying?

Someone in my class at Uni is big. I mean, huge. She must weigh a good 350lb, constantly drinks coke, I've never seen her drink water, she says it's boring, she eats a whole ton for lunch, often scoffing down three or four museli bars (they're "healthy"!) and it's obvious why she is the size she is.

A class mate and I use MFP and are losing/have lost a fair chunk of weight between us. Before joining here I have lost and kept off 70lb in the last four years. Our classmate has aksed us several times how we've done it, but doesn't like the answer and keeps pestering us about what our "secret" is and it's just ticking me off a lot lately.

Does anyone else get this? Do you get peeved off by it too?
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Replies

  • jaycanchu
    jaycanchu Posts: 265 Member
    Nope, just means you have noticeable results
  • theyrenothorsestheyretapirs
    theyrenothorsestheyretapirs Posts: 5 Member
    Maid_of_Mischief1 wrote: »
    No... did you ever think that maybe that classmate of yours had other issues and that's why she's eating like she Is? I'm sure she doesn't want to be the size she is but just hasn't had the motivation or maybe resources to help her get there. It's definitly not a pet peeve of mine when someone asks me things like that, I'm more than happy to talk to them about my lifestyle that helps me be where I am.

    If she has issues then whatever - we all do. I don't care especially about her eating habits, but she's making it my business by constantly nagging at me about what I'm eating, asking how I lost weight, etc. I don't tell her she's got a nerve wanting to go into healthcare and tell people how to look after themselves when she can't do so herself, so can't see how it's okay for her to harp on at me for my "secret" to not being obese. Honestly, working in the HCPC professions would, to me, be a huge incentive to get on top of my weight if I hadn't already. And I know that's not the case for alot of people - we have some of the fattest nurses in the EU - but to me, it's the right thing to do. I wouldn't want to use a mechanic with a car that failed it's MOT.


    I'm happy to talk about it too, but not when someone so hates my answer that they accuse me of lying.
  • theyrenothorsestheyretapirs
    theyrenothorsestheyretapirs Posts: 5 Member
    km8907 wrote: »
    You know people like you were the reason I didn't like to eat in public. You know absolutely nothing about this girl and have no right to judge the tiny glimpse into her life that you see. Just be consistent with how you answer her and she'll get it eventually. In the meantime, keep your eyes on your plate and off of hers.

    I've never once commented on her food, and I've worked retail for a number of years so I'm really good at keeping my thoughts off my face. If you had a hard time eating in public because of your weight, that says more about your weight and how you felt about it than anything else.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    edited March 2018
    This content has been removed.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    No one has ever asked me. If they did I would just say I track my calorie intake with a food diary app. No secret. Nothing to get annoyed about.
    I don't really talk about my weight or weight loss outside of the forums here.
    I eat pretty much the same foods as everyone else I know.
    I also don't have a problem changing the subject or telling someone I am not going to discuss a topic if they are bothering me.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    Yes. It gets very old!

    When someone says "What's your secret?" I just say counting calories/My Fitness Pal and leave it at that. Most people immediately lose interest because for whatever reason they want me to give them a recipe for putting 5 superfoods, some essential oils, and the blood of a virgin in a Vitamix to lose weight instantly. I honestly just roll my eyes at this point because it gets old.

    I like the other poster's answer "I guess I'm just lucky" because sometimes I wanna say that.

    I've also been annoyed by people who barely know me, and former coworkers, just assuming I had weight loss surgery. Not to say that's wrong or bad. But I did not have it, so I am mildly offended by the assumption. My former boss told the gossipy crowd that I didn't have WLS but I work out all of the time & ride my bike everywhere. Also untrue. She'd seen me on hiking trails and riding my bike ONCE (probably out of the ten times a year I ride). People decide things and go with it. Just gotta laugh but yes it's annoying!
  • tirowow12385
    tirowow12385 Posts: 697 Member
    Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings wrote: »
    bojack3 wrote: »
    It's kind of relevant to the topic so this is a blog I wrote addressing my opinion on over simplistic approaches to weight issues.

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/bojack3

    Very well written and spot on! Many people throw phrases around like 'mind over matter' but never fully comprehend that we are, in fact, psychosomatic beings.

    I truly enjoyed this! :)

    Ps. I have a military father... could be partly why this resonated with me so much... as far as discipline goes.

    It's mind over matter though, well, mind over hunger actually.

  • goatg
    goatg Posts: 1,399 Member
    The world is a better place when we take a breath and approach issues with compassion and inquiry.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    lavinia_whateley_goals wrote: »
    this post vintage mfp, like a fine wine combing fat shaming, a touch of humble bragging and the faint note of flame baiting

    pairs well with dry humor

    I don't know vintage mfp...but I adore you and your mind...perfect description of 'today mfp' as well from what I gather!!

    Random...the 'old days' are always referenced with so much adoration and nostalgia...I feel like I missed something epic
  • wefts
    wefts Posts: 183 Member
    I get the OP , and I know it from both sides years ago I lost weight logging , then stopped slowly the weight crept back plus more . And for years I kept thinking I was eating Healthy , loads of vegetables and healthy grains, lean meats , but steadily gaining . blaming it on metabolism and my age . then I came here and got on board with tracking and working out . I have lost 44 lbs . now many folks see the change and ask , Truthful answer is I stopped over eating ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Surprise no one wants to hear it they all want some quick fix that does not involve taking responsibility for what they choose to put in their mouth . I am tired of being quizzed on what I ieat then hearing oh I hate vegetables I could not eat that restrictive . ha I eat 1400 cal most days and usually feel full but I do not fill up on greasy or carb laden foods . many that do not like being obese do not hate the weight enough to eat in the ways that will help to shed lbs
  • positivepowers
    positivepowers Posts: 902 Member
    Maid_of_Mischief1 wrote: »
    No... did you ever think that maybe that classmate of yours had other issues and that's why she's eating like she Is? I'm sure she doesn't want to be the size she is but just hasn't had the motivation or maybe resources to help her get there. It's definitly not a pet peeve of mine when someone asks me things like that, I'm more than happy to talk to them about my lifestyle that helps me be where I am.
    denny_mac wrote: »
    All of the other subtexts of this thread aside, I think I'd get annoyed if anyone kept asking me the same question and accused me of withholding "secret" information for some reason.

    Maybe just try to explain it differently. Something like "The concept is simple, but the execution is not. Eat healthier, exercise more. Repeat." Then maybe offer suggestions of how to do those things.

    ^^This. I would probably try to explain a few times then I would give up. I have little patience for people who play games like this.

    Maybe if you suggest (nicely) that she log her food intake for a couple of days to see what she's really eating. Or just suggest that's how YOU got started. She may not even realize how many calories she is ingesting. I know that when I began to log on MFP it was a real eye opener!

    In the end, though, whatever she does or doesn't do is on her. You tried. That's all you can do.
  • 81Katz
    81Katz Posts: 7,074 Member
    My secret.
    Me:
    sgovuxl8g27d.jpg
    Fantasy:
    8lnrh6iybriu.gif
    Me still:
    6d7vvaw79j17.gif




  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    KiwiLifter wrote: »
    I was entering the shop front of a gas station one time and a guy asked me "How long did it take for you to get into that kind of shape bro"?

    Without stopping I said "about 15 years".

    Yes, and I bet he was totally crushed when you said that, since he was hoping it was more like 15 weeks. Some of the people I know want immediate results and if some big change doesn't happen in a week, they give up and call it impossible. Imagine if fitness was an on-going process that actually took time and effort to build and maintain? Hardly anyone would be doing it. ;)

    Real, lasting, quality results don't happen overnight. People don't just "wake up like this." It's a long term investment. And personalities that need instant gratification struggle with the concept. Most people can achieve realistic goals. It's just a matter of priorities. How badly do you want it? If staying the same is easier, more comfortable and familiar, you are less likely to make a change. That's true with life in general.

    Some people value health and fitness less than others, and I'm cool with that. I mean, I'm lazy in life about certain things, too - like getting ahead career-wise, etc. Other people work really hard to get to the top of their game, while I'm fine just doing well and staying where I am. It's not a huge priority for me to climb that ladder. So I get that not everybody is going to care as much about fitness as I do, either.

    I just wish more people would realize that there's no magic secret or shortcut to most things in life. A lot of people seem to want to "cheat" their way to a quick victory - why would I work hard if there's a pill I can take instead? But in reality, you either focus your energy, put in the time and effort to get a goal realized, or you don't.

  • beagletracks
    beagletracks Posts: 6,034 Member
    lavinia_whateley_goals wrote: »
    this post vintage mfp, like a fine wine combining fat shaming, a touch of humble bragging and the faint note of flame baiting

    pairs well with dry humor

    Yep. You said it, sister.
  • bojack3
    bojack3 Posts: 1,483 Member
    jenilla1 wrote: »
    KiwiLifter wrote: »
    I was entering the shop front of a gas station one time and a guy asked me "How long did it take for you to get into that kind of shape bro"?

    Without stopping I said "about 15 years".

    Yes, and I bet he was totally crushed when you said that, since he was hoping it was more like 15 weeks. Some of the people I know want immediate results and if some big change doesn't happen in a week, they give up and call it impossible. Imagine if fitness was an on-going process that actually took time and effort to build and maintain? Hardly anyone would be doing it. ;)

    Real, lasting, quality results don't happen overnight. People don't just "wake up like this." It's a long term investment. And personalities that need instant gratification struggle with the concept. Most people can achieve realistic goals. It's just a matter of priorities. How badly do you want it? If staying the same is easier, more comfortable and familiar, you are less likely to make a change. That's true with life in general.

    Some people value health and fitness less than others, and I'm cool with that. I mean, I'm lazy in life about certain things, too - like getting ahead career-wise, etc. Other people work really hard to get to the top of their game, while I'm fine just doing well and staying where I am. It's not a huge priority for me to climb that ladder. So I get that not everybody is going to care as much about fitness as I do, either.

    I just wish more people would realize that there's no magic secret or shortcut to most things in life. A lot of people seem to want to "cheat" their way to a quick victory - why would I work hard if there's a pill I can take instead? But in reality, you either focus your energy, put in the time and effort to get a goal realized, or you don't.

    Hey I used to feel that way about average people who worked out. I was a professional athlete and weight was a huge part of my sport. I could drop weight quickly and was in tremdous physical shape. So I looked at people that were "in shape" as many that workout look at people who are overweight looking for a quick solution. Everyone has a story, and it's human nature to take the path of least resistance. Some people respond to "You just need to get up and do it", and some have issues where there needs fixing before that can happen. Everyones own success is anecdotal, what works for you might not yet fit into someones mindset. I'm a results guy.....so my gauge of success is based on getting the job done. Sometimes a foundation doesn't exist for a house you are trying to build and it will ultimately fall down every time until you pour that foundation. As a trainer, I don't have the patience to build houses in the sand.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Never going to tell the secret. Spent too much money getting the records sealed.
  • sschauer513
    sschauer513 Posts: 313 Member
    I get the you look great now and say what I didn't before. But so many people say they can't and as Yoda says that is why you fail. I did it, I don't consider myself overly special in that regard so why can't they? It's really a matter of getting your priorities in line and for me my health went higher on my list than was before. If the person isn't willing to change that it won't matter. But most people are very disappointed to hear I work my a** off and watch what I eat and it has taken 1.5 years to get where I'm at and I'm only 2/3 way there.
  • iWishMyNameWasRebel
    iWishMyNameWasRebel Posts: 174 Member
    edited March 2018
    Yes and no. "Yes" in that it does get really old having to constantly answer the same questions for any topic, mainly because I don't like to repeat myself (but that's my issue, not the person who has asked me one time). I don't mind at all when someone asks me once, but if that same person keeps asking me over and over and over, I'd have to put a stop to it, probably by asking *them* some questions.

    "No" in that it does mean I've been successful enough for people to notice, and it's my opportunity to share the thoughts and actions that helped me, so that maybe a light bulb will go off for someone else who is miserable.

    If you want to change your life badly enough, you will find your own way to do it and keep working at it. You should definitely talk to other people who've made these changes, but don't hound them repeatedly, because your problem is not their problem to solve for you.

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