Feeling so alone on my weightloss journey

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quietone44
quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've been eating healthy and working out lightly for the past 40 something days now and I feel really great. The problem is I have no one to share any of my success or struggles with. I actually ended a 4 year relationship with my ex recently because he became so controlling or mad that I wanted to get back in shape. I've lost 14 lbs in these 40 days which is alot but I've work hard for it...I just feel like some days it isn't worth it. I want this so bad. Not just for me but for my kids....who are very encouraging but I don't have many friends anymore because of said relationship...so this is all brand new to me and I'm too timid to join a gym at this point. I'd like to lose another 10lb before walking into a gym. I'm currently 170lbs. I guess I'm just looking for someone who can relate even a tiny bit? Maybe share a success story, a recipe, a workout idea....anything related to weight loss goals I guess.... thanks.
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Replies

  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
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    You should look into joining a gym that runs classes. I found at my gym (stopped going for a bit due to an injury) that the ladies in the classes were very supportive. Even if we didnt chat much, there are always smiles and encouragement from everyone for everyone. Might be helpful to get you into the swing of things?
  • bernadettenz
    bernadettenz Posts: 252 Member
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    You are beautiful :)
  • wefts
    wefts Posts: 183 Member
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    stay focused on you and the little ones . any man should want you to be your best . currently having trouble with my hub who sees my 43.5 lbs lost as a threat and is not supportive . but he is 71 and feeling very threatened. part of me gets that he feels like I am moving away from him but I was damn tired of low energy and sore knees. you can do this , you are doing great so far . come talk here we will offer support . this group is what keeps my sanity on the days hubby is acting like a fart
  • Mamsy30
    Mamsy30 Posts: 1 Member
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    Keep going, no matter what challenges you face. That's just life and don't let it get you down or slow your progress.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,345 Member
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    That's why a lot of us find the forums here helpful, we aren't alone, because there are 1000's of us here on the same journey and we can relate and understand :smile:
  • bethb83mfp
    bethb83mfp Posts: 5 Member
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    I to have been in a mental and physical abusive relationship, I took up running 3 years ago which helped me deal with the anger, I still am a very insecure person and wouldn’t join a gym either but your welcome to message me and I could be a virtual friend ❤️ x
  • Fulanic
    Fulanic Posts: 3 Member
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    Wow! I almost thought you were describing me. I have since found that as i get my break up body moving in the right direction that everyone is becoming more jealous. I say great! No better way to say that you have moved on than by getting in shape physically, mentally, and spiritually. Keep up the motivating work.
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    MsMaeFlowers wrote: »
    You should look into joining a gym that runs classes. I found at my gym (stopped going for a bit due to an injury) that the ladies in the classes were very supportive. Even if we didnt chat much, there are always smiles and encouragement from everyone for everyone. Might be helpful to get you into the swing of things?

    I'm trying to build up enough courage to walk into a gym. I don't feel like I belong there just yet if that makes any sense. I don't know where to begin and don't want to make a fool of myself. But maybe just taking a leap of faith would do me some good!!!
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    bernadettenz wrote: »
    You are beautiful :)

    Thank you!! Hearing that makes me feel like I'm closer to the old me...which is my ultimate goal!! :)
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    wefts wrote: »
    stay focused on you and the little ones . any man should want you to be your best . currently having trouble with my hub who sees my 43.5 lbs lost as a threat and is not supportive . but he is 71 and feeling very threatened. part of me gets that he feels like I am moving away from him but I was damn tired of low energy and sore knees. you can do this , you are doing great so far . come talk here we will offer support . this group is what keeps my sanity on the days hubby is acting like a fart


    I just wish I didn't waste the last 4 years building on something that was only out to destroy me. I also got tired of carrying this extra weight around with me. I was use to being 130 lbs my whole life so 185lbs feels so foreign to me. I literally don't feel like my true self anymore and that's scary. My kids deserve 100% of me and I will never allow another man to take another part of my mind body or soul ever again...
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    BackToTheFitFuture wrote: »
    Total respect to you for taking positive but really difficult steps to improve yourself, your life and the environment for your kids.

    Join a gym right away!! You do not have to be what you think is a 'respectable' weight to be allowed through the door. My gym has 'Well Done' written on the wall just as you come IN through the entrance and 'Everyone is Welcome' in other places.

    Classes are definitely a great way to start, you will get a smile from someone! And if you're nervous, go a little early, tell the trainer you're new to that class and grab a spot at the back of the room so you don't feel too exposed. That's what I did. Also make sure you get a proper induction to the gym equipment, some gyms do this one-to-one, some in a group: either way ask questions. Gyms run by the local council often have the enormous bonus of membership of a trainer giving you a new/updated gym program for FREE every six weeks or so. If you join a private gym PT is pricey but some trainers less so than others. Even having a couple of sessions is a great help to know what the heck to do with a kettlebell or a TRX band! And knowledge is power, it will give you confidence to keep going and to achieve your goals.

    You're already doing brilliantly at a challenging time in your life, you sound like a success story to me:-)

    Thank you so much! Your words are very helpful. Time to drag my butt to a gym and take this all one step further in the right direction!!! :)
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
    edited March 2018
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    chesves wrote: »
    You're here. You matter. Keep going!
    Look at this thread alone - you've already found a lot of support! Do not let the doubts he put in your mind live there -cast them out and keep doing you. I think he's taken enough of your energy - time to reclaim it!!!

    Thank you so much for your kinds words! I was raised by a strong woman I know I will get through. One day at a time. And I've already got a really great positive attitude towards it all...but reading all these replies has definitely lifted my spirits 1000% !!
  • wryone4
    wryone4 Posts: 118 Member
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    First off, congratulations! First, on having the bravery to end a toxic relationship. You lost more than 14 pounds - you lost whatever he weighed on you emotionally.

    Second, way to go with your focus on fitness. You have already started with some great progress, and you are motivated to continue. You should be so proud of yourself.

    I second the suggestion to find some classes - you would be amazed at the friendships that can start from those classes, and you will gain motivation from others similarly focused on fitness. And, I say don't wait on getting to the gym. 99% of gym-goers are focused on their own bodies and fitness and not on anyone else. I bet that after a week or so of working out in the gym, you will feel even more empowered.

    Again, congratulations!

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