My date with the person above me was going great until...

She started hitting on the waitress

Wouldn't give me the Heimlich when I choked on a chicken bone

I wished out loud that I was on a date with what's his name

..until I found out those Snapchat ears were real!

She closed her eyes and told me to throw some food into her mouth. I fished the lemon out of my water and "accidentally" threw it at her eye instead. She may have even stayed for the whole meal if the juice hadn't gotten in her eye when she opened it.

The hypnotist asked for volunteers and she sent me up. Next thing you know I'm clucking like a chicken every time someone claps their hands!

She heckled e every time I got on stage

He laughed at me and left me on the floor!

She threw someone off the stage and we were asked to leave

He kept wanting to flex his muscles at everyone that walked by our table!

He called me Trailer trash

He revealed his true self

I saw that he was full of himself! ;p

She wouldn't allow Men in the house

She kept picking up her spaghetti with her fingers, and lifting it in the air, swallowing it like a baby bird.