Feeling so alone on my weightloss journey

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  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I have been somewhat socially isolated by circumstances and it is a little tough as an adult to go out and make friends.
    I pretty much stick with online support for weight loss.

    If it is hard to do the gym right now maybe try something else to meet people. Your local library may have things like book clubs or other groups that meet there. Maybe sign up for a walk or run. Try a cooking or painting class. Whatever you might be into.
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    trcaylor wrote: »
    I feel the same way. I’m a stay at home mom of 3 littles under 5. When me and my husband decided that this was the path we was taking I dropped out of school, quit my job of 5 years, and naturally lost all my friends. I’m 25 and I take care of my children day and night and although I’m happy it’s still very lonely. They say it takes a village to raise children but it’s only me we have no grandmas or aunts around. So for 5 years since my first daughter was born I have had my children for every second of their life. I started around 225 and weigh 166 today and my husband is overweight too so I was so excited for us to do this together so we could break out of our routine and do something together but he has no interest. I’m the only one in my little circle trying to lose weight so some days it so hard to sit and watch them eat whatever they want. The days I feel like giving up I keep waiting to hear “keep going” or when I’m doing good to hear “your doing so great” but nothing. But I guess I keep telling myself this is for me. That I will do it.

    KEEP GOING GIRL!! YOU ARE DOING GREAT!! I have 3 boys...11,10, and 2. I'm only 29 and I too have devoted my life to my kids. No friends. I have my mom when I need her but it's still not the same. My kids don't leave my side other then to go to school. My ex is really over weight too and is a diabetic which is why it was so important for us to both get in shape but his only aim was to knock me off to stay unhealthy with him! You are Beautiful. And strong. And independent. And those little ones need you! And they need you to be 100% . Keep going girl....you got this!!!
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    wryone4 wrote: »
    First off, congratulations! First, on having the bravery to end a toxic relationship. You lost more than 14 pounds - you lost whatever he weighed on you emotionally.

    Second, way to go with your focus on fitness. You have already started with some great progress, and you are motivated to continue. You should be so proud of yourself.

    I second the suggestion to find some classes - you would be amazed at the friendships that can start from those classes, and you will gain motivation from others similarly focused on fitness. And, I say don't wait on getting to the gym. 99% of gym-goers are focused on their own bodies and fitness and not on anyone else. I bet that after a week or so of working out in the gym, you will feel even more empowered.

    Again, congratulations!

    Thank you so much!!! :)
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
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    I am really feeling the love on this thread, and it seems @quietone44 is also. We can move, we can change, we can choose, one moment at a time. Hugs to all -
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    brightresolve wrote: »
    I am really feeling the love on this thread, and it seems @quietone44 is also. We can move, we can change, we can choose, one moment at a time. Hugs to all -

    Oh I am definitely feeling the love. This thread has kick started so much good in me!! What a great start to the week!
  • Brooklyn_Beast
    Brooklyn_Beast Posts: 29 Member
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    Everyone feel free to add me!
  • ValeriePlz
    ValeriePlz Posts: 517 Member
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    You are not alone. You did the right thing in getting on the forum - we are all in this. Great idea to join a gym. No one is looking at you or judging you; they are all doing their own thing.

    Feel free to add me!
  • boehle
    boehle Posts: 5,062 Member
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    quietone44 wrote: »
    I've been eating healthy and working out lightly for the past 40 something days now and I feel really great. The problem is I have no one to share any of my success or struggles with. I actually ended a 4 year relationship with my ex recently because he became so controlling or mad that I wanted to get back in shape. I've lost 14 lbs in these 40 days which is alot but I've work hard for it...I just feel like some days it isn't worth it. I want this so bad. Not just for me but for my kids....who are very encouraging but I don't have many friends anymore because of said relationship...so this is all brand new to me and I'm too timid to join a gym at this point. I'd like to lose another 10lb before walking into a gym. I'm currently 170lbs. I guess I'm just looking for someone who can relate even a tiny bit? Maybe share a success story, a recipe, a workout idea....anything related to weight loss goals I guess.... thanks.

    I have met some truly amazing people on here.
    Frequent the forums and when you make friends, support them they way you want to be supported.
    Feel free to friends request me :)
  • wifey826
    wifey826 Posts: 26 Member
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    This hit home for me. Thank you for this thread, Quietone44....

    My DH is supportive (insert HUGE) but......He is also jealous that I've been consistently on a plan since last June (that coincided with a temporary separation from him). It's been slow, but I've lost about 60 pounds. Now that we have reconciled he loves to show me off. However, in the same breath he compliments me, a complaint follows about how unhappy he is, wishes he could lose weight too, is depressed. He can't do a-b-c because of x-y-z. Typical response to someone who is happy to reap the benefits without putting in the effort. Now, I know I sound a bit harsh here, but the truth is, as much as he "supports and cheers me on", he isolates me by his negative self talk. It leaves me feeling like he's truly not proud of me at all. This requires a serious amount of motivation that he has yet to find. It is impossible to explain to others, so I don't bother.

    I tried to do the Couch to 5K program... it became a problem for me to be away from the home so frequently. 2 littles under 5....moms know what I'm talking about. So, I just stick to my eating plan.

    I understand where you are coming from. Congrats for being brave enough to admit that you were unhappy and I applaud your efforts to take charge of your own happiness! My separation was my darkest hour, and I started my journey in secret. No one knew, and it was indeed, very lonely. I reached out to my MFP community--they helped me through as well.

    Take care of yourself!
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    wifey826 wrote: »
    This hit home for me. Thank you for this thread, Quietone44....

    My DH is supportive (insert HUGE) but......He is also jealous that I've been consistently on a plan since last June (that coincided with a temporary separation from him). It's been slow, but I've lost about 60 pounds. Now that we have reconciled he loves to show me off. However, in the same breath he compliments me, a complaint follows about how unhappy he is, wishes he could lose weight too, is depressed. He can't do a-b-c because of x-y-z. Typical response to someone who is happy to reap the benefits without putting in the effort. Now, I know I sound a bit harsh here, but the truth is, as much as he "supports and cheers me on", he isolates me by his negative self talk. It leaves me feeling like he's truly not proud of me at all. This requires a serious amount of motivation that he has yet to find. It is impossible to explain to others, so I don't bother.

    I tried to do the Couch to 5K program... it became a problem for me to be away from the home so frequently. 2 littles under 5....moms know what I'm talking about. So, I just stick to my eating plan.

    I understand where you are coming from. Congrats for being brave enough to admit that you were unhappy and I applaud your efforts to take charge of your own happiness! My separation was my darkest hour, and I started my journey in secret. No one knew, and it was indeed, very lonely. I reached out to my MFP community--they helped me through as well.

    Take care of yourself!

    First off let me applaud your 60lb weight loss!!! That's amazing....but it's even more amazing to know that you still stuck to it while dealing with the weight of everything else. It's hard enough finding spare minutes to yourself when we have kids...but even harder when you're doing it alone without the support of friends and family. I don't even know you but I'm proud of you...you're inspiring and you give me hope! Keep doing what you're doing and hopefully DH will get fed up with excuses and jump on board. Thank u for sharing with me too...going to add you !
  • dsum143
    dsum143 Posts: 3 Member
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    I have been getting teary eyed reading this thread. Luckily I have a supportive SO for now. However I am only 11lb down on a 150lb loss (long term obviously).
    You are amazingly strong. Keep going and get to that gym. And when you do, let me know as I might pluck up the courage myself eventually.
  • MostlyWater
    MostlyWater Posts: 4,294 Member
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    You have us. I am also not happy that I don't really have friends to share this with but I can come here.
  • chloegalvin3
    chloegalvin3 Posts: 7 Member
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    Congrats on your weight loss so far.. your doing amazing!
  • brightresolve
    brightresolve Posts: 1,024 Member
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    wifey826 wrote: »
    I tried to do the Couch to 5K program... it became a problem for me to be away from the home so frequently. 2 littles under 5....moms know what I'm talking about. So, I just stick to my eating plan.

    A belated thought - when I was separated then single mom, and had one little of age 2-3-4-5, my saving grace was the local health club that had a kids club care facility with activities etc. I would drop her off, work out, grab her, we'd swim together, shower, and go home. Depends on cost and availability but there might be something available.

    Meanwhile, you are doing SO WELL to lose 60 on your eating plan, and a mom of two small children is never sedentary :) so go you, congratulations!

    Oh and @quietone44 thanks again for this thread, it has been and continues to be lovely.
  • mca90guitar
    mca90guitar Posts: 290 Member
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    I work out alone in my house. Just me and my blasting music:). Pretty relaxing

    My friends all suck, won't even bother to see if they want to put down the bong and do something besides watch football or baseball. Need to go back on the friend hunt but dang its hard at 27 esp when most of my coworkers are over 40. Had most of these "friends" since middle school and haven't really gained new ones since highschool. Amazing how much people can change in 9 yrs. Fun to boring lazy stoners.
  • quietone44
    quietone44 Posts: 37 Member
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    I've learned we are ALL here for the same reason. Therefore we should ALL be here for each other....after writing this thread I got so much love and support it was almost overwhelming! I added alot of like minded people and things are looking up...I may be physically doing this on my own but I look forward to opening MFP and seeing how everyone else is doing and knowing they're all here supporting me and cheering me on. It makes my days so much better. No one should have to struggle alone. So to anyone out there that is feeling how I felt . Add me. Send me a msg. Whatever it is I want to hear about it. We are in this together! :)
  • Idontcareyoupick
    Idontcareyoupick Posts: 2,842 Member
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    This thread is so amazing. I've been having a rough go also and the community has helped even without me having my own post. Congrats to everyone on their weight loss as well as your strength shown every day. I hope to use this to get back into the groove. Thank you for this post
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    You've got 80 million people to share with.

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