"Grr" to PPL want to lose weight but dont want to do the wor

That's so frustrating. Those just sound like excuses not to put any effort into losing weight.
A friend of mine last year got engaged and she hates exercise and loves fast food...I had already lost some weight and she bought a wedding dress a size too small to motivate her to lose the weight. Her mom even paid for us to go to Curves for a few months. I tried so many different things to try to get her started. She only went to Curves like twice and half-assed it when she was there...I finally just gave up and did my own thing.

Life isn't about food. There are a billion things to focus on before you think of food as 'enjoying life'.

She needs to understand that making a healthy choice for a meal is not difficult, is not the end of the world, and will not rule over her enjoyment of the day. Until she realizes this, you cannot help her.

Saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" to her is snarky. Kudos. But don't be surprised if she gets snarky back.

I have a lot of friends that are like that. They continually show signs of wanting to do something to change the way the look, feel and eat and then as soon as there is a sign of something being hard, they seem to back down. I have one that sounds like she could be the twin of the one your referring too..

Good for you for trying however; sometimes until they want to help themselves there isn't anything you can do. they will continue to make excuses.

Good job!

You can lead a cow to water, but it's still a COW ~

I have a friend like this and honestly, I'm tired of trying to help.

She tells me ALL the time (and I do mean ALL the time) how she wishes she was thin like I am, wants to wear cute clothes like I wear (and then she'll give me an example of a cute shirt or whatever that I've worn and that she wants to be able to wear too), etc. I've tried to help her MANY times. I've helped her figure out her meals, told her what to do at the gym, encouraged her to go to the gym (you don't lose weight simply by having a gym membership! you have to actually GO to the gym).

I've tried. Heaven help me, I have tried and tried and tried.

Well, yesterday she starts her "I wish I was thin...." crap and then turns around and eats a Reese's crispy, crunchy bar and drink a 20oz Mt Dew. I said "You don't get thin eating 700 calories on break. Why not eat something healthy?" And she says "Well, I haven't eaten ALL day and I am hungry".

*sigh* I've discussed not eating with her and I've discussed not eating and then gorging on junk with her.,


I'm done trying to help. Sorry, but I am. Obviously they don't want to change - they just want the results at the end without the work to get there.

BTW, my friend is 300lbs, 29 yrs old and has a family history of diabetes, heart issues, etc. I've told her she's going to end up in the same boat if she isn't careful.

She'll say "I know" and then go order 3 double cheeseburgers, large fry and large Coke at McDonald's.

I've had quite a few family members ask me what my "secret" for losing weight was ... when I say counting my calories and exercising everyday, they don't want to know anymore - being healthy isn't just a magic pill to make you skinny and that's what they really want, they don't want to work at it ... unfortunately

wow, that's crazy of her. I guess she felt you were criticizing her, but then again she did ask for help, and that was your opinion on her eating out that day. everyone has a time when they'll come ALL the way around and realize it's hard work. not just physically but mentally as well.

People want quick fixes and don't want to put in the work. I've had quite a few people ask me "how I did it" and when I tell them I count my calories, I usually get responses like: that's too hard, I can't do that, there has to be an easier way, that's ridiculous. There's many ways, but I'm looking for the way that will work long term which is taking responsibility for your own actions.

Saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" to her is snarky. Kudos. But don't be surprised if she gets snarky back.

This! She probably took it as "dig" and that you were criticizing her for going out to lunch. I have a standing lunch date with a couple of friends @ work. Granted they don't ask me for weight loss advice, I do enjoy their company and we have lots of stuff in common - so we go out to lunch once a month. I do stay within my calorie allowance and make healthy choices (for the most part).

I probably would have just said "No thanks, I brought my lunch -have fun!" and left it at that. Unfortunately she will find out later in life you DO have to watch your fat grams, calories, carbs, sugar levels - might as well do it now instead of having to do it later because your health is ailing.....

You have to be self motivated in order to lose weight! No one can put the work in for you.

I probably wouldn't have said the "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" only because she may have taken it snarky (like you were calling her fat) but also because I HATE that saying as it was quoted from Kate Moss and we all know how "healthy" she is. I had a quote that said ":Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels" which is more my style and it seems to be your style as you didn't wanna eat or contribute to the fast/unhealthy food.

I've had people ask me CONSTANTLY how I do it and when I tell them it's hard work you get the glazed over look in their eyes. People don't wanna hear that it takes hard work to be fit or to lose weight, after all we are an instant gratification kind of society. I have this woman who asks me EVERYDAY for the MFP website address. She writes it down every single time and when I tell her about it she says she's gonna check it out "because I've gained weight and I really need to do this". She's yet to even get on the site. You can only help you, you can't help people who don't want help.

Your friend says she may wants to take care of herself but it's not instant and it takes a lot of hard work and dedication and she's just not gonna do that. It's easier to say "I just wanna enjoy life and eat what I wanna eat". Well...you can eat what you wanna eat when you exercise. If she wants a burger from McDonalds and she works out then she can have it!! That's what people don't get. You don't have to deprive yourself. There are gonna be times when there's birthdays with cake, summer bbq cookouts with delicious HIGH calorie/high sodium foods and you can have it/enjoy it and still be healthy and enjoy life. In 10 years, your friend won't enjoy life...

You can lead a horse to water ...

I started e-mailing with a friend to try to keep each other motivated and on track, but she wasn't reciprocating, so I stopped. I didn't need it, and if she does, and wants it, she'll start again.

I'm happy to join in on a workout or swap healthy recipes and tips, but I'm not going to be responsible for anyone else's eating and exercise habits, especially if that person doesn't truly want it.

Maybe your coworker took your comment as a criticism rather than motivation? And I will point out that you can eat fast food and still successfully lose weight, as long as you cut back somewhere else or get in a good workout.

I haven't given up anything I enjoy in order to be thinner.

She's obviously got some issues about healthy living, and you're right that we do good when we learn to live good lives. I don't think you were being snarky to her, as some have said, you were trying to show solidarity to someone who you thought wanted to put in as much effort as all of us. Her texting you was a way to hide from facing up to that. I know before I finally buckled down to get healthy I would go between "accepting" myself as I am and striving for change, which is maybe what phase she's in. She should like herself, as she said, but liking oneself and accepting one's body aren't necessarily the same thing. I like my body, that's why I want to be good to it. I like my personality and the people I know, but that has nothing to do with my waistline.

Grrr. Anyway, you rock.

Some people just aren't ready, but they might think they are, and then they get frustrated.