"Grr" to PPL want to lose weight but dont want to do the wor
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Saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" to her is snarky. Kudos. But don't be surprised if she gets snarky back.
I agree, I would have been annoyed if someone said that to me when I asked them to get some lunch.0 -
I go through the same thing with several of my family members, including my father who's currently about 200 lbs overweight, has chronic edema, thrombosis, and has to use a wheelchair or scooter to get around. He had a stroke a little over a year ago and yet he continues to make excuses as to why he "can't" eat better. It kills me because, if he keeps abusing his body like this, I'll be making plans to attend his funeral in less than 5 years. I told him that when he's ready for my support to let me know and I'll be there for him. Until he's ready no amount of begging, pleading or chastising is going to force him to change.0
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I am right there with ya on that one! I have people all the time asking me what I did to lose weight. When I tell them that I cut my calories to 1200/day and increased my work outs from three to seven days a week, they look at me like I have two heads! Then they begin telling me why they can't do that - stuff like "I have kids that keep me busy with extra-curricular activities", "I work full time", etc. Hmmmm...the funny thing about it is - I do too
The bottom line is that people will not make that life-change until they get to the point where they truly want it for themselves and are willing to work hard to reach their goals. 0 -
I've found that helping someone is a step by step process. People, by nature, are afraid of change and opposed to drastic change. You are being encouraging, she is being resistant. She had a moment of weakness and you forced her to face it, she got defensive because she probably felt guilty and took it out on you . . . this is the way of things. I've started encouraging one of my old co-workers. I spent 18 months bugging her to join my gym, that's step 1. she did it 2 weeks ago . . . once I get her into a routine we'll work on other aspects.0
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i totally understand what your going through. I've had a few people who are close to me ask me to give them "my secret". i sent them materials that i paid for, for over $160 and they tried it for 2 weeks, lost 8lbs and them decided that it was too hard for them. i even went out of my way to give them exercise DVDs (my favorite ones) and they said that she only did one segment and didn't like it because it didn't have ab w/out in it. i was like, if you did the other segment, that one had ab workouts. i never heard anything about it since. every-time i talk with them on the phone, they always ask me (well how's your weight loss coming along, i tell them, it's going good. i went from 166 to 133 in 6months!! and after that, they would shut-up and say they gotta go) i guess they just want to hear that I'm failing, but I'm not. I've heard every single excuse from this person, and i really don't wanna hear it because i was in the same boat as them, but only difference is i actually did something about it!! sorry to vent, but just wanted to say i can relate!0
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Meh. She's not at a point in her life where it's important enough for her to change. Or she might need to take a different path than you. Don't let it get to you. It's not something to get upset about.
I felt the exact same way she did for a long, long time. Heck, I felt that way when I started on MFP... that I liked my curves and my body was what it was supposed to be. I thought my weight was fine. I thought my body was fine. I just wanted to learn to run, to be fit enough to run, and if I lost weight in the process, yippeeeee!!!! :happy:
One of my friends recently commented to me that one thing that's really impressed her with my "journey" is that it wasn't about getting skinny or thinking my life would be better if my *kitten* was smaller. It was about being able to run through fire! :laugh:
Interestingly enough, when I wasn't focused on losing weight, I lost weight. Maybe she just needs another focus. I know my hackles raise when I hear that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." I've been skinny. Pizza tastes better.
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I have a coworker who asked me to encourage her and give her some of the tips I have used to lose weight. I told her I would love to help and for the past few weeks I have Facebooked her and text her reminders to go to the gym, take a lunch to work instead of eating out etc ... Well today she was recruiting people to have Fast Food for lunch with her and when she got to me I said "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" I smiled and completed that with "No thank you, I brought my lunch." She then sent me the following message:
"i'm a woman with curves, i like my curves, my kids like to snuggle because i'm soft. when you look at me i'm genuine, you know what you are getting. take it or leave it"
I responded with the following statement: "Why would you assume being called skinny is a critisism?"
She said "i don't...i just LIKE me as i am..of course, i would like me skinny too...but reality sets in at some point. i want to enjoy life...being healthy is good, but not to the point where i can't put something in my mouth because i have to calculate fat grams and calories..I want to ENJOY life as I live it."
OK.. what the heck, ya know?! Somebody asks you to help them then is full of excuses. There are days I barely have the motivation to get myself to the gym, yet I try and give what I can to someone else.
I say KUDOS to each of US that log our food, calculate calories and fat grams.. and our skinny person inside appreciates it! I enjoy my life because I like the way I look, and I like the energy I have from eating healthy and working out.
Okay.. that is all. Just needed to vent!!!
OMG, that is too funny, sounds o so familiar to me!!! Happens all the time in my life but I just figure hey I will just do my thing and when they are ready to make changes they will be ready and all I can do is give advice. Its sooo irritating I know.0 -
I know the feeling...but people have to be ready to start the challenge otherwise it fails. There is a very large woman at the gym who asked me how much I have lost and how I did it. She chats to me every now and then, comments on how hard I am always working and then asks about food. Each time we have the conversation she simply says 'I can't do that'. Its sad but until she 'loses her quit' she won't be able to do it.0
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I'm gonna be completely honest here and say that if somebody said something like, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels," to me, I would probably be a bit leery. There's motivating somebody, and then there's phrases like that that make me wildly uncomfortable because I've seen them floating around in unfortunate places. Maybe she just went on the defensive because of the *way* you said it.
Regardless, it doesn't seem like losing weight is really her priority right now, and it's not fair of her to waste *your* time and effort, is it?
i agree with this. i would not offend anyone by making that statement. even thou sometimes i wanna make some remarks to the people who keep nagging me at my secret and then they don't follow thru, i keep it to myself because it's their personal issue. you did your part, just have to wait until they do theirs. all that matters is you planted the seed and they know where to go to when they are ready.0 -
Saying "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" to her is snarky. Kudos. But don't be surprised if she gets snarky back.
I agree, I would have been annoyed if someone said that to me when I asked them to get some lunch.
I agree with this. Just because you are going to McDonald's doesn't mean you can't order a grilled chicken salad. I would have thought you were being a smartass and replied accordingly.0 -
all I know is I had years of working on being over weight.... and nothing gave me the same feeling as losing it. I loved what I ate but realized that I just ate too much. I am ready now to lose weight and I am sure I made 100 excuses when I was not ready. I have had several people try to lose weight "with me" but I realized that when they gave up they were not ready. I am ready and I am not hodling back with them. PEACE OUT!
EXACTLY!0 -
You can lead a cow to water, but it's still a COW ~
LOL...LOVE that. You can't help anyone who isn't willing to help themself. Next time she asks you to help motivate her, tell her "no thanks"0 -
Many, many people who want to lose weight but don't want to put in the effort will say the same thing she said - essentially life is short and I want to enjoy it. It is a truly scewed vision of a happy life to think that that means eating whatever you want because it tastes good. There is no long term vision there - no recognition of the health problems that could ensue and the fact that your loved ones may lose you much sooner. Unfortunately, many people think that in order to be healthy you have to eat "rabbit food" or whatever ridiculous phrase they want to use; they don't recognize you can have your indulgences, but in moderation. And you know what? That moderation makes an indulgence that much more enjoyable because it's not an everyday thing - so I enjoy my food even more than they do eating it every day. You can't help someone who isn't ready, we just have to focus on ourselves sometimes, no matter how much we wish someone we care about would change.0
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The IDEA of wanting to loose weight is easy, the COMMITMENT to change yourself is considerably more difficult. I would leave her to find her own motivation.
Realistically most people are not going to completely cut out fast food to loose weight, I still have fast food. "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels" - I really do hate this. She simply asked you to join them for lunch, your initial response was unncessary, I would have gotten snippy with you too.0 -
I usually just joke about it and say "No thanks, I'm trying to quit." It gets a good laugh while it also gets the point across. 0
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Me too, a ton of my friends talk about their weight issues CONSTANTLY and yet they eat out daily and drink a ton of empty calories in alcohol and soda. What's worse is that if I don't partake in that behavior--they make fun of me and say backhanded things like, "Well, why don't you order an ice-cube popsicle next time we go out!" or "Geez, you can't have one night to party? You're no fun!" I suppose I could indulge every once in a while, but its not easy to get on and off track, you know?
At times, I want to cut them out all together because negativity is such a horrible thing to have in your life if you are trying to diet and work hard at being healthy. But I think at the end of the day, I need to focus on me and do my best to achieve my goals.0 -
My line manager is like this. She's been going to slimming world since before I started working there (this is my 3rd year) and she's always moaning about not being able to loose weight. She was asking me tips the other day on how I'd managed to loose my weight so I told her about the MFP app etc etc then she was like "i think I'll go get a bacon sandwich" - nevertheless comes back with a fried egg in that too. The bacon sandwich thing is pretty much daily.
The other thing is she'll eat crap like powdered potato with a HUGE handfull of cheese in it. Or then half a bag of split peas, because they're good for you.
She even got referred to the gym by her GP - so it was free - and she went all of like 4 times. Her GP has referred her again but she's had to go on a waiting list. She has a massive list of health problems but I think she's more content to just sit and moan about them than actually sort her weight out and probably save herself a lot of pain.
Its so frustrating0 -
I didn't read all of the replies, but the several that I did makes me think you guys are being too hard on this girl. I mean, let's be real here...how long did it take US to get to this point? No matter how much help anyone ever offered, or how many nasty remarks were made, it took us however long to get to where we are today because we were FINALLY ready. Give the woman a break, she'll get tired enough!0
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Some people just aren't ready, but they might think they are, and then they get frustrated.
Exactly, been there...done that.0 -
For those that think I was "snarky" - As dispatchers that work in a high stress closed enviroment we are all "Type A" personalities. No harm No foul. Also some background on that comment, we debated it weeks ago, along with "Better than sex Cake" and the validity of those statements. It was a rowdy discussion about whether or not food can meet emotional needs. I
Her response is one of defeat. She has decided its easier to settle than make a difference in her behavior. She is late 30's, 180-190lbs and 5ft5, divorced. She eats fast food at work repeatedly and she does not order healthy. After almost every meal she will say "Steph, why did you let me order that?" Then I sit here feeling guillty.
There I think that covers the "NAY Say-ers"
I wish her luck, but I cant be her cheerleader when she is on the wrong side of the losing game.0 -
Sounds like she gave up before even trying! I used to make excuses all the time, even after i asked a friend to help me...then she reminded me "YOU asked ME for help...now get up and lets do this" That week, I bought an elliptical and started on MFP..here I am 4 months later and 40 lbs lighter....its slowed down a bit on the working out, but I am still making sure I am doing a minimum of twice a week...I still watch what I eat and am seeing weight loss.....Keep up the good work and kudos to you for rejecting the fast food offer! (that was always hard for me...but not no more!)0
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I might be the only one who thinks this but I kind of think you went overboard. She wanted motivation, but when you saw she wasn't responding to the working out "reminders" and whatnot, you could've left it alone. And the whole "nothing feels as good..." comment was just unnecessary and condescending, in my humble opinion.
My best friend recently asked me what I did to lose what I lost so far. I told her about this website and if she wanted any help or details to let me know. She hasn't followed up with that and that's fine. I'm not gonna start sending her text messages of my low carb dinners or anything. She's my best friend and even I wouldn't be as intrusive as you have been to a mere co-worker.
Keep up what you're doing, but if I were you, I'd hold back on insulting others who aren't where you're at mentally regarding weight loss. She'll change when she wants to. And if she never does, so what?0 -
For those that think I was "snarky" - As dispatchers that work in a high stress closed enviroment we are all "Type A" personalities. No harm No foul. Also some background on that comment, we debated it weeks ago, along with "Better than sex Cake" and the validity of those statements. It was a rowdy discussion about whether or not food can meet emotional needs. I
Her response is one of defeat. She has decided its easier to settle than make a difference in her behavior. She is late 30's, 180-190lbs and 5ft5, divorced. She eats fast food at work repeatedly and she does not order healthy. After almost every meal she will say "Steph, why did you let me order that?" Then I sit here feeling guillty.
There I think that covers the "NAY Say-ers"
I wish her luck, but I cant be her cheerleader when she is on the wrong side of the losing game.
You feel guilty because she blames her food choices on you? That makes no sense. If you really are a type-A personality, then you'd tell her to either stop blaming you for her unhealthy eating or do something about it. I'd never let *anyone* make me feel guilty for something I didn't do directly.0 -
People want quick fixes and don't want to put in the work. I've had quite a few people ask me "how I did it" and when I tell them I count my calories, I usually get responses like: that's too hard, I can't do that, there has to be an easier way, that's ridiculous. There's many ways, but I'm looking for the way that will work long term which is taking responsibility for your own actions.
OMG, I get this all the time and it's so frustrating! These are the same people (usually) who then talk about how little they eat and they just don't see why they aren't losing weight. Or even worse lately are the folks who are truly starving themselves by eating just a small salad and nothing else and think this is a sustainable way to live. I just keep my mouth shut now and answer truthfully that it IS a lot of work but it's worth it.0 -
For those that think I was "snarky" - As dispatchers that work in a high stress closed enviroment we are all "Type A" personalities. No harm No foul. Also some background on that comment, we debated it weeks ago, along with "Better than sex Cake" and the validity of those statements. It was a rowdy discussion about whether or not food can meet emotional needs. I
Her response is one of defeat. She has decided its easier to settle than make a difference in her behavior. She is late 30's, 180-190lbs and 5ft5, divorced. She eats fast food at work repeatedly and she does not order healthy. After almost every meal she will say "Steph, why did you let me order that?" Then I sit here feeling guillty.
There I think that covers the "NAY Say-ers"
I wish her luck, but I cant be her cheerleader when she is on the wrong side of the losing game.
I seriously think that you should ask yourself where you were before you decided it was your time. To me, it sounds like you've made this woman's life too much of your own if it's affecting you so much, and you feel like you have all of this explaining to do to everyone else. Like all of her personal information you just added to your post, my opinion of this whole situation doesn't change now that I know her marital status and the fact that she's 5'5". Just do your thing, don't worry about hers!0 -
Okkay, so clearly the Nay Sayers just keep popping up and now I am a bad guy.
NOTHING TASTES AS GOOD AS SKINNY FEELS!!
I believe that. I dont think there is any food that can make me FEEL as good as liking the way I look. PERIOD. To ME this statement says that I dont rely on food to be happy. I dont rely on food to provide me COMFORT. She was in a crappy mood and we have been slammed at work all week so she has been eating her way through the day.
Thank you to the many ppl who understood that my Topic is my rant about my frustration on helping someone who wants my end result but isnt putting in her effort. Posting here allowed me to RANT while receiving your MOTIVATION and SUPPORT.0 -
I might be the only one who thinks this but I kind of think you went overboard. She wanted motivation, but when you saw she wasn't responding to the working out "reminders" and whatnot, you could've left it alone. And the whole "nothing feels as good..." comment was just unnecessary and condescending, in my humble opinion.
My best friend recently asked me what I did to lose what I lost so far. I told her about this website and if she wanted any help or details to let me know. She hasn't followed up with that and that's fine. I'm not gonna start sending her text messages of my low carb dinners or anything. She's my best friend and even I wouldn't be as intrusive as you have been to a mere co-worker.
Keep up what you're doing, but if I were you, I'd hold back on insulting others who aren't where you're at mentally regarding weight loss. She'll change when she wants to. And if she never does, so what?
The difference here is my co-worker ASKED me to help. She ASKED me to remind her daily, to check in with her, and to call her out if she was messing up. Then in the middle she just stopped and made excuses to eat and be "Squishy". And not just today, she eats that way every single day, then texts me and tells me she didnt mean to overeat and to text her again tomorrow with motivation. Its exhausting to help someone who wants to hear the encouragement that she hasnt earned. I am not INTRUDING on her life.. she invited me in, asked for my help and then quit when it was a little hard. THAT is what my post topic covers.0 -
I might be the only one who thinks this but I kind of think you went overboard. She wanted motivation, but when you saw she wasn't responding to the working out "reminders" and whatnot, you could've left it alone. And the whole "nothing feels as good..." comment was just unnecessary and condescending, in my humble opinion.
My best friend recently asked me what I did to lose what I lost so far. I told her about this website and if she wanted any help or details to let me know. She hasn't followed up with that and that's fine. I'm not gonna start sending her text messages of my low carb dinners or anything. She's my best friend and even I wouldn't be as intrusive as you have been to a mere co-worker.
Keep up what you're doing, but if I were you, I'd hold back on insulting others who aren't where you're at mentally regarding weight loss. She'll change when she wants to. And if she never does, so what?
The difference here is my co-worker ASKED me to help. She ASKED me to remind her daily, to check in with her, and to call her out if she was messing up. Then in the middle she just stopped and made excuses to eat and be "Squishy". And not just today, she eats that way every single day, then texts me and tells me she didnt mean to overeat and to text her again tomorrow with motivation. Its exhausting to help someone who wants to hear the encouragement that she hasnt earned. I am not INTRUDING on her life.. she invited me in, asked for my help and then quit when it was a little hard. THAT is what my post topic covers.
the next time she invites you to keep her motivated, tell her what you typed before, that it is too exhausting trying to motivate someone when she should be motivating herself. That you are in a completely different mindset than she is in because you are over the whole "food = comfort" and give her the website address to MFP and let her find her OWN motivation. I would also stop responding to her text messages and basically distance myself from her when it comes to the whole weight loss discussion.
But you should NOT feel bad/guilty/responsible for HER eating choices. Those are HER choices, not yours.0
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