Family issues. Seeking support and advice.

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  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    Quit talking of her issues only because you put yourself as a player in her game. Remove yourself! It will be hard but you have to save only you!
  • dec056
    dec056 Posts: 87 Member
    CoffeeAndContour wrote: »
    Any update OP?

    Nope, not really. She is currently in the hospital for medical reasons, and I have not gone and visited her because I already know what it's going to entail...me bringing her stuff and her whining the entire time I'm there, and when I say something she doesn't like, she will tell me to leave. She called me earlier after my dad got back from visiting her and asked me if he has gotten home, then she started talking about how he made her sound crazy in front of the nurse, when really he was just telling them about everything that has been going on. She then started talking badly about him, and I told her point blank that they are married, I am the child, and if she has a problem with him then she needs to address that with him like an adult - I told her I'm tired of being put in the middle of everything. She didn't like that very much, but I honestly don't care because it's the truth. She then denied saying anything bad about him, and when I asked her if she forgets everything she says immediately, she hung up on me. I never called her back. She does not have dementia and this type of behavior is an extreme form of how she is normally. She had enough sense to pick up the phone and dial my number, but not enough sense to remember all of what she just said, only bits and pieces that she wants to? I don't buy that for a second.

    I think she has finally figured out that the manipulative bs she pulls where she threatens me if I don't give her what she wants isn't going to work with me anymore, and she's pissed about it. I don't care...I just don't. She can threaten me all she wants because I'm in a financial position to leave, and she knows that. I've been staying to help her out. I pay the electric bill, buy a ton of the groceries, take her many of the places she needs to go, help pay for her prescriptions, and she did not pay a single penny for ANY of my Bachelor's degree. Literally not a cent. I have gone out of my way, stayed up until 3 PM after working 12 hours all night so that I could take her somewhere she needed to go, only to be threatened if I don't give princess what she wants when she wants it.

    I love her to death, but I am just tired.

  • dec056
    dec056 Posts: 87 Member
    She also called one of her friends earlier and said that she is the victim and that everything is her fault. She can't stand the notion that anything she does is wrong, and if you confront her about it she denies it. Example: I had a bottle of Flexiril, which is a muscle relaxer because I was having leg spasms. She went and filled the prescription while I was at work, took 3 of the pills out and did not say a dang thing to me. I came home and found the bottle with the lid screwed on crooked, opened it and counted the pills and found that 3 were missing. I confronted her about it, she lied and said she didn't take any. I kept pushing her and she finally admitted to taking 1 and insisted that the other 2 mysteriously disappeared, and then tried to twist it into being my fault and said that I should've gone and gotten it myself. This was over a year ago. This is the type of thing I'm talking about - no sense of responsibility. So now anytime I have a prescription for anything, I don't tell her about it and I hide all of my medicines. Her excuse was that she ran out of her muscle relaxers - so then why didn't you just tell me that? If you truly did "run out", why did you go behind my back and steal them and then lie about it to my face?

    Last night, she went in my room while I was gone and took some jewelry that she had given me out of my jewelry box. My dad told her, don't go in her room, she will be mad, you have to respect her space. Her response was that this is HER house and she can do whatever she wants. She does not respect my space at all, and you bet I was pissed when I got home and found that she had been in my room, and I told her do not EVER step foot in my room again. Period.

    These are just some of the things I'm talking about. And don't get me wrong - I'm not totally innocent, I have not always been the best, sometimes I get mad and yell at her and get frustrated. My dad does the same thing. But she seriously has some issues.
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    dec056 wrote: »
    ...Her response was that this is HER house and she can do whatever she wants...

    TRUTH. It's her house. You're just a guest in it. She's a raging narcissist and a misery to live with. So why do you torture yourself by staying? You'll feel so much freer when you gain your independence. Go now. Run fast! You can do this! <3
  • dec056
    dec056 Posts: 87 Member
    jenilla1 wrote: »
    dec056 wrote: »
    ...Her response was that this is HER house and she can do whatever she wants...

    TRUTH. It's her house. You're just a guest in it. She's a raging narcissist and a misery to live with. So why do you torture yourself by staying? You'll feel so much freer when you gain your independence. Go now. Run fast! You can do this! <3


    I've started looking at apartments. I'll be out soon enough!
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