Any fellow ed-survivors out there? Story time!

BZAH10 wrote: »

Great story! Thanks for sharing.

BZAH10 wrote: »

I find this interesting: "Then, literally over night, something clicked in my head. I refused to be that girl anymore." - Do you have any idea what triggered this? How old were you? Were there new, outside influences in your life? You don't have to answer. I just think that finding out the "why" is important.

BZAH10 wrote: »

Also, you took action to actively overcome your issues, for example, getting a dog that you knew you had to be responsible for. Not everyone can (or chooses) to do that, so good for you!

BZAH10 wrote: »

I'm also glad you had a good experience at a treatment place. Not everyone does.

LollipopsandSunshine wrote: »

Hey there, I'll share my story. During middle school, I began to develop much faster compared to peers my age, so I was already self conscious about my appearance, but it didn't manifest into a full-blown eating disorder until I was in highschool/college. Sophomore year of high school I began to "experiment" with starving myself occasionally, but then I'd get too hungry and light-headed, and subsequently binge. Not being one of those "stick thin" girls at all, I felt like things were reasonably "under control", and I thought that I couldn't have an eating disorder if I didn't look scarily thin. Fast forward to freshman year in college, and things escalated to the point where I started to occasionally binge/purge. By the time I was in my sophomore year, I was binging/purging at least 3 times a week, and starving the rest of the week. My parents finally approached me and got me into a treatment center, and although it was very flawed in terms of therapists and treatment modalities, it got me to a place where by senior year of college, I was able to have a better relationship with food and my body and had recovered from bulimia. After college, I gained a lot of weight, but fast forward to today, where now I'm losing weight in a healthy and sustainable way, and have a pretty active job as a house cleaner, and I'm in a much better place now that I'm recovered. It's hard, but shout out to all the eating disorder survivors! We can do it.

UltraVegAthlete wrote: »

I think it started around 8th grade when I started being more aware of my appearance compared to other girls. I would suck in my stomach, wear extra padded bras, and cover my face in foundation. I was fairly athletic and adventurous, so when I got to high school and joined XC, I became even more aware of my body. I hated wearing spandex during races and the tank tops, too. I was on Varsity where a few girls had toned bodies and even abs. I was one of the slower varsity girls. To stay in shape for Track, I did wrestling during the winter. The coaches encouraged us to eat less, drink jugs of water a day, and tell us not to eat or drink the night before and morning of a match. They weighed us every Friday and had a chart of what we weighed and what we should have weighed.
I quit wrestling my sophomore year because I couldn’t lose the weight I wanted and I didn’t want to hurt myself in a way that would prevent me from reaching my running goals. That year I became a vegetarian, then vegan for health reasons (to lose weight). I lost 5-10 lbs and maintained that for a bit, but I lost my period for six months. I decided to eat as much food as I could to gain weight in order to get my period back. It came back...for one cycle. Because as soon as I got it back, I started eating less and exercising more. Overexercising. I got frequent hip injuries that prevented me from running State in track and XC. I couldn’t run with the other girls. By Senior year, I noticed how I wasn’t healing and that I was chubby because I was stress eating. I cut out salt, oil, sugar, processed foods, potatoes, pasta, bread, and all overt fat. My diet consisted of carrots, bananas, apples, lots of green veggies, and sweet potatoes. I lost 30 pounds in six months and became underweight. It’s like as soon as I became underweight, my body got triggered and I started binge eating. I went away to college and would binge eat on dried figs, dates, bananas, and fruit leather. Healthy...but still binge eating. I was running 7-8 miles every morning until I got injured in the knee slipping on ice. I couldn’t run for two to three weeks. I came home for Thanksgiving and binged on Vegan junkfood. This is when I started purging. I wasn’t very good at it, so I quit after a month, occasionally doing it if I binged on something “bad”. I gained weight slowly, then quickly when I stopped running again due to reinjuring my knee. By February of 2018 i realized I hadn’t had my period in over a year. I decided to stop trying to restrict calories and eat only veggies and fruit. I started eating what I craved whenever that was (usually dates or bread). Giving myself these foods, I almost immediately stopped craving them (give or take 2 weeks). I remember buying bread and having only that for dinner, and I was crying while eating it because all I wanted was my period back. I prayed and prayed for it to come back so I could stop eating bread. That night I got it back. I stopped eating bread and replaced it with airpopped popcorn (another craving of mine). I started feeling better and less emotional. In March I made a choice to go fully raw in order to combat my food addiction and dissatisfaction with my body. On a raw diet I told myself I could eat everything I wanted! I’m not sure if I’ve lost weight, but I feel better. I’m on Day 20 and hoping it lasts a long time. I’m not restricting the types of raw foods I’m eating, I’m slowly recovering from over exercise, injury, and binging. I haven’t binged since the first week of March. I’ve left some stuff out, like how I was suicidal spring of junior year or how I hated seeing a therapist to discuss my problems with food. ED’s run in my family. My grandma had bulimia, my mom had anorexia, my older sister had anorexia athletica, anorexia, and bulimia. Me? I begged my parents not to take me to a doctor, saying I would get better. They made me see my old pediatrician and she mentioned orthorexia, but i don’t believe in such a thing. I turned to God (please no hate!) and asked Him for answers. He reminded me that I was created to be perfect, but it is up to me to believe that. With God’s help, I am finding love for myself and what my body can do.

LollipopsandSunshine wrote: »

@andreaen Aw thanks! Having a place to talk about it is very liberating and to see others post and share their stories makes everyone hopefully feel less alone and more like a community. I'm glad you created this thread! ❤

jennibabie87 wrote: »

I’m not sure if this counts as an ED but here’s my story.

Back in high school I had a horrid stepmom and we got into actual fights every few months and stuff. But she was also a cheapskate with buying me and my dad food, although she did work at a grocery store and at a restaurant. She would always have her food, special Asian food, and shopping sprees at the mall, but always complained about buying me and my dads food. One time I got yelled at for eating 2 bagels in a day, granted the best buy day was the day before. My dad took the blame for me thankfully but it struck a cord in me and just stopped eating as much, even school lunch. The only time I got to really eat like I wanted to was at family parties. They would literally shoved food in my mouth, it was awesome I loved it!!! My family was always concerned about my weight since you could always see my hip bones, still can today.
Fast forward to today and it’s still a struggle to eat but only because it’s money wise. I am however thankful for mfp and I can now see not only how many calories I’m eating but also the nutrients as well!!! I’m hoping I’ll be able to finally gain some and go to the gym and help with muscle toning and stuff.

I know I’m not officially labeled as an ed but it just shows you that words do hurt!! I mean I’d rather get into a fight everyday with my stepmom than have getting yelled at for eating, at a time when you need to eat.