Do you see what everyone else sees?

PJS323 · August 2011

I've been struggling for months to really see what's in the mirror. On August 6th I celebrated my 10 month anniversary of my new way of life, and after losing 102lbs, I don't see what others do. Body dysmorphia? I know that I've gone from a size 22 to a 10/12, but I still go to the plus section of stores. Is it ever going to be enough? I've been doing crossfit, and dead lifted 185lbs last week, and I thought to myself, when will I get to 200? I probably sound nuts, but others have to feel this way.

My husband constantly tells me, "I cannot believe how much weight you've lost", and I always say thank you, but I think to myself, 40lbs more. Or, when will my waist shrink?

Please share some of your own experiences if you would, I don't want to believe I am crazy. How long before my mind catches up with my body? Ever?

marnieinMB · August 2011

It's called Phantom Fat and it's harder to lose than the real thing. I'm down 45 lbs and there are days when I swear I have not lost a thing.

I asked for help and people told me to look at pics or put on old clothes. I did and it helps. People can't understand the concept unless they have experienced it.

So no, you are not alone or crazy.

kieva626 · August 2011

What I see is never what everyone else sees. I still see fat but everyone else sees tiny, its a hard match up. I know that I am fit and smaller than average but for my own body I see too much fat that no one else sees. You just got to find your own balance and way of bringing yourself back to reality. I take breaks from the scale and try on clothes that now look good on me and that helps

springtrio · August 2011

No, but I'm getting there. I still see someone who is 200lbs. and it just...sucks.

I think right now people like you and I need to work on the inside as much as we've worked on the outside. It's hard, but IMO...I don't think I'll ever 100 percent see myself as a "thinner" person. I know I need to practice what I preach, but it's much easier said than done.

PrfctGdess · August 2011

I don't know what to tell you as I'm not there yet, but girl, you've lost OVER 100 LBS!!!! That's AMAZING!!! How long were you a size 22? If you've been shopping the plus sizes for years upon years it will take awhile before you get used to not having to. I've now purchased 3 size M shirts and I'm so used to being an XL that I can't believe it - I keep thinking "they must just run really big for mediums"

I think it's only natural

rmsrws · August 2011

bump

ajanmillie · August 2011

Wow, great job losing so much weight. I know how you feel because the same is happening to me. Your body gets used to having lost weight and so do your eyes. Sometimes I take my drivers license out and remember real quick how I used to look and feel. Maybe you can find old video or an old photo so you "remember" and then you will look at your present self and think of how far you have come.

Yooperm35 · August 2011

People keep telling me I am 'wilting away'. I don't see it. I still feel like the 160+ lb person in the mirror that made me start this whole lifestyle change. Yes, my clothes no longer fit, but I see the "Big" me. My head looks smaller to me, and my arms have definition. In their defense - I always only looked at my head in the mirror, never the rest of me, becauase I hated what I saw. I never even tried clothes on when I bought them - I just picked a size that I thought I was and hoped it fit. Resistance bands have done a lot for my arms. Other than that - I see the same old me. I keep waiting for the day when I say, "Whoa, i've done it!"

NaomiLyn15 · August 2011

I have a similar problem. I lost 30 pounds last year, but, I still see myself as a size 16. I still don't go shopping because I am terrified that nothing will fit or I will walk out feeling fatter. But, this is a problem. You have to be happy with yourself, or you will work yourself until you are sick. You have made huge accomplishements in your weight, and are down to a wonderful size. Celebrate that! I know that isn't easy, but it is important that you realize the progress you have made so that you don't make poor decisions when it comes to your weightloss because you aren't seeing what is actually in the mirror. It is normal, but not healthy. When I lost the weight last year, I had to chant to myself every day that I was skinny. Eventually I started to believe it. Try that. It takes time, but if you repeat it to yourself alot, you will start to break the negative things that you repeated to yourself over the years. Good luck!

superstarcassie · August 2011

I completely understand what you are feeling! I do feel very different, but I look in the mirror and see a bigger person than is there. I have to look at pictures, and sometimes I think- oh its just a good angle- there is no way I look like that! I am working on it, and taking it day by day. Its hard to wrap my head around it at times. I know that it makes me nit pick and focus on what is left to lose, instead of how much healthier and better I feel! I hope it gets better for you, just know you are definitely not alone!

QueenofCups · August 2011

I know exactly what you mean. I still see a fat chick when I look in the mirror and when I try on clothes. Even though I know I am wearing X size, I just explain it away as "vanity sizing" or "well, they must be stretchy", etc.
I hope it gets better for you.

Creiche · August 2011

I definitely have the "phantom fat" issue on some days. For me, it's highly correlated with my mental state (shocking!). If I'm stressed out and having some self doubt for any reason, all I see in the mirror is the heavier me...which is just a more insecure self-pitying me. On these days, I try to force myself to see my success...how I'm now stronger, healthier, and more in shape and I deserve to see these qualities in myself. It doesn't always work, but the "good" days now outnumber the "bad"...and you'll get there!

Kalrez · August 2011

It's called Phantom Fat and it's harder to lose than the real thing. I'm down 45 lbs and there are days when I swear I have not lost a thing.

I asked for help and people told me to look at pics or put on old clothes. I did and it helps. People can't understand the concept unless they have experienced it.

So no, you are not alone or crazy.

This is actually one of the main reasons why I am holding onto a pair of my "before" jeans. If ever I doubt that I've gotten smaller, I can go to the closet and put them on. Your brain my make you imagine fat. But there's something to be said about the definitive gap in your old fat jeans.

I'm not sure if it would help or hurt, but maybe go get a makeover. Change your hair cut and color. Get a spray tan. Get your nails done. Maybe as you adjust to all the little things, you'll better adjust to the big things. For example, I just started wearing contacts instead of glasses. I would look in the mirror and feel like I looked weird. Last week or so, I went and got a hair cut, highlights, and got my eye brows waxed. As I got used to seeing those changes, I didn't really think my lack of glasses stood out. I've gotten a lot more used to how I look with contacts.

flpjck · August 2011

I've lost almost 20 pounds and when I look back at pictures from before I started, I look a lot heavier than I remember seeing at the time. I think I always was in denial and thought I looked like I did before I ever gained that weight. Taught me the lesson to not trust the mirror..

bluebelle00 · August 2011

Have you done comparison pics? Seeing the changes side by side can be pretty convincing.

And I'm sure you'll see the changes if you've lost 100lbs - that's awesome!

LorinaLynn · August 2011

I rarely see the difference in the mirror. I think some of it is also that I didn't see the weight in the mirror when I gained it, either, at least not the highest 10-15 pounds. So I typically view myself as I spent most of the past 10 years - at the higher end of a healthy range. I'm surprised when I can buy smaller clothes.

I do see it in photos, especially compared side by side, so I try to take them whenever I'm feeling "meh" about my progress.

bmw4deb · August 2011

It really does take time, I continue to look at cloths in size 14
and can now wear a size 5, I still have a hard time not grabbing big t-shirts
and elastic waist pants.

fatboypup · August 2011

Thought I was the only one

karenkwalker · August 2011

I think I'm the opposite - I saw myself as skinny in the mirror - but had a huge wake up call when I saw a family photo we took at Christmas - just didn't see how fat my face was until then. I guess we just get used to seeing ourselves one way and don't let that go very easily. I think for me pictures tell the real story - so comparing where you were to where you are - really helps you visualize the truth! Good luck and congratulations on losing 100 lbs - that is amazing!

bltmgray · August 2011

You are not alone in this. I've lost 65lbs and I still see the "fat girl" in the mirror sometimes. I will still tend to go for the bigger size cloths thinking that I'm big still, but then remember, NO I AM NOT! LOL! I guess it's just going to take some time to get use to being thin, just like it did being big.

trud72 · August 2011

you are sooo not alone on this one xxx

i am also another who is like it!

Do you see what everyone else sees?

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