Do you see what everyone else sees?

Ashley_Panda · August 2011

I've lost 135lbs and still see a girl that's 335lbs.

bluiz13 · August 2011

i strongly suggest doing comparison pics and posting them somewhere as a focal point so YOU can SEE the PHYSICAL changes in "black and white" ..........i also STRONGLY recommend trying on a pair of your old sized clothes...if you dont have any then go to the store and grab a pair of pants and a shirt in the largest size you ever wore and try them on....i have a size 24 jeans and jean shorts that i put on earlier this summer and my husband and i were so shocked we took pics.....i was able to stand in 1 leg of the both the shorts and the pants as a size 10/12 right now....it made me feel amazing.....i took pics, i shared them and i will continue to "SHOW" myself and others how far i have come because that is what makes it stick within me, little by little i see it....i have a nightie i think is a size 2xl?? i pulled it out a few weeks ago and it "fits" lol but it is ridiculously big....i love wearing it and pulling the extra fabric back behind me to see how "narrow" i am now..... i love seeing myself in the mirror right now, i still see the work to be done but man it feels amazing seeing the work that i HAVE done....it has taken me over 3 years to get where i am and slowly but surely i am seeing the changes in me and i love it.....it fuels the fire to keep on going and get the last bit off......the more you show off yourself the more you will get used to the "new" you....good luck with the rest of your journey and keep getting stronger and smaller and the better you that you have always wanted.....

PJS323 · August 2011

I was a 22 for at least 3 years. I gained 10lbs a year for 12 years. My highest weight was 289.9, and now I'm 187. I'm also 5'8, and I'm only 10lbs from where I was when I met my husband. I've dieted a million times before, but this time I took it 10lbs at a time. I thought about getting into the 270's, then 260's, etc. I still do that, but it's moving much slower. I have credit cards for Torrid, Lane Bryant, and Avenue, and I won't cancel them.

How is your journey going?

psuedodragon · August 2011

There have been studies that show that people who have lost a significant amount of weight will always perceive themselves as bigger. Specifically, they did a study where they had people walk down a narrow hallway with chairs along one wall. Those who had never been fat walked normally while those who had lost significant weight turned and went sideways (like one does when passing people in movie theatre seats)

But there is a point where the disjointed mental image and reality becomes unhealthy. It may be hard to do, but in addition to some of the previous suggestions (try on old clothes to see the difference, look at before-after pictures, etc) you might want to enlist the help of somebody that you know is healthy.
Get them to check in on you every now and then, and if they ever become concerned that you're becoming addicted to exercise or not feeding yourself properly you should consider going to a therapist. At worst you'll need some counselling, and that's not something to ever be ashamed of. Remember: sometimes people just need a little extra help to deal with things, whether it's their weight, their mental health, their finances, their schedule or whatever. It's why there are people out there whose job it is to help!

Can't really give a more definite answer than that -only finishing up my bachelors in psych, sorry.

Rhea81 · August 2011

It is actually quite rare for anyone to see what everyone else sees no matter what your size. You have accomplished soooo much!!!! AND kept it off!!!! You just need to change your perspective. Find or take a picture of yourself when YOU felt and looked your best. Then, post it someplace you will see it everyday with "I AM BEAUTIFUL" written on or by it. Say it everyday! Even if you doubt that now, you will eventually believe it! It just take time and practice to change the way you think.

KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!!!!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Dtho5159 · August 2011

You are definitely not alone... Ive lost 50lb and am just under 250 but still feel like Im nearly the 300lb I started at. Everyone says I look smaller (well except my husband who's soooo clueless lol) but I still don't see it.. I thought going from a size 26 to a 20 would make a difference but it hasn't yet.

Sbmtx · August 2011

Congrats on the 102# lost! WOW!
I have a hard time trusting mirrors. Some of them lie....really they do. I prefer to use photos as proof of my body changes. Even small changes in weight and tone can be seen in a before and after photo, especially if u wear the same outfit. Since I am pretty shy about my weight loss I use the timer option on my camera and take 3 or 4 photos from different angles to really get a good confidence boost. My favorite is the side angle.
The hard thing for me to learn to do is take the compliments and say "Thank You!" instead of saying things like "Oh it's a work in progress" or "Really hmm...I don't see it yet". I do not notice the small changes but others who do not see me everyday do.

road2peachtree · August 2011

I've been struggling for months to really see what's in the mirror. On August 6th I celebrated my 10 month anniversary of my new way of life, and after losing 102lbs, I don't see what others do. Body dysmorphia? I know that I've gone from a size 22 to a 10/12, but I still go to the plus section of stores. Is it ever going to be enough? I've been doing crossfit, and dead lifted 185lbs last week, and I thought to myself, when will I get to 200? I probably sound nuts, but others have to feel this way.

My husband constantly tells me, "I cannot believe how much weight you've lost", and I always say thank you, but I think to myself, 40lbs more. Or, when will my waist shrink?

Please share some of your own experiences if you would, I don't want to believe I am crazy. How long before my mind catches up with my body? Ever?

I so feel you. I'm about 40lbs down and I still see myself as 286 :sad: Sometimes I feel...guilty--no not the right word--Um....well, I feel weird when people say "Oh you are just melting away" or "You've lost weight!" or "You look good!" because I look at myself and say "you're still fat". I only see it in pictures. But I suppose if I look at the other side of it, when I was close to 300lbs I didn't think I was that big until I saw a picture--which was rare that I took them. We're all a bunch of weirdos I guess.

Bratkins · August 2011

I think the trouble with losing a lot of weight is that most people don't really get to the root of why they had gained weight in the first place. Once the weight is off it is rare for people to dive into the psychology of it.

Maybe you should stop using a mirror to truly reflect who you are. Just close your eyes, I bet you might see something different. Maybe the beautiful soul inside versus the shell you were born into. If you don't, it is time to start forming that perception. Losing over 100 lbs is amazing and what everyone else sees is not as important as your own view of yourself.

Here is to hoping your view changes soon.

NOLA_Meg · August 2011

I heard today (and I don't know the source- it was on the fb wall of my friend who just lost 130 pounds) that it takes 1 year for every 25 pounds to lose, for your mind to accept the changes in your body...so just keep looking at pictures and reminding yourself because it can lead to weight gain if you get discouraged and think there hasn't been any changes

rmsrws · August 2011

No, I do not see what others see!! I was 252 lbs 13 months ago. I have since lost a 113 lbs. I have went from a size 24 down to a 7 in pants and smalls and mediums in tops. I still find myself wondering to the plus size section for clothes. When I am in the general size area I am constantly looking around and trying to compare myself to others and to see if people are starring at me, because I don't belong in that section. I hold up a pair of 7 and they seem BIG to the eye. As is I was looking at a size 24 again. STUPID I know!

I am afraid to post before and after pics because I am just uncomfotable about showing what I look like. I get compliments like crazy on how "great", "amazing", "stunning", "fabulous", etc. I was actually told all of these words Tuesday morning at a business meeting. Yes, a total NSV. I don't feel right about posting NSV's, I feel some what ashamed and guilty. When I hit the 100lb lost. I had planned on posting pics and so fourth. I didn't . It was such an odd feeling when it happened. I cried, then I felt like screaming and yelling to the world, but I didn't.

I am 12 lbs away from my goal weight. I sit and think well when I reach that will that be enough? Will I still feel the need to keep pushing? When does it end? I surely don't want to go back to a year ago!

Tuesday morning for my business meeting, I wore a new out fit. I decided to wear clothes that actually fit, rather than pinning and tucking and belting trying to get the most milegae out of my existing wardrobe. I am wearing a size 7 crop pants, and a medium top out of the junior department I turn to my husband and ask so innocently "Do I look FAT in this?" He chuckled and then it went into an hysterical laugh. He said "Rhonda, you have lost 113 lbs no matter what you wear, you are not going to look fat!" I walked away with doubt.

On my torso I feel that I have lost weight because I now have a rib cage and hip bones that are very obvious. So every now and then I cop a feel of my self to help remind me, YES, you have lost weight.

I have considered talking with a pychologist or something to see if it might help me. I was told it would take some time for my mind to catch up with weight loss.

I can say I feel great most of the time. I have energy, and ambition. I have a positive out look on life again.

Best Wishes~Rhonda

gatorgirl7 · August 2011

It's been almost 3 years since I lost my weight, and I still struggle to shop in in the right sections and DEFINITELY don't see what others see. I still see the old me...I'm hoping it will get better eventually!

kkalg7 · August 2011

a good way to see if you're seeing what's real is to get a large piece of paper and a marker, or just use chalk on the driveway/garage. mark where the top of your head and bottom of feet are, as well as the length of your arms. get up and draw what you think your outline is (do not trace yourself at this point). When your drawing is complete, lay down on top of it and have someone trace you with a different color marker or chalk. Now get up and compare the two lines; is your drawing larger than the tracing, smaller, or the same? Whatever the outcome is, this exercise should help you see how you view yourself compared to what is real. Remember to always love and accept yourself exactly where you are today and set realistic goals

porffor · August 2011

You're totally not alone and i do think the brain takes longer to realise that the body has changed. I am in the 'fat' frame of mind still, I look at every picture looking for the fat in me.. it's still there and in my heart I know it's not as bad as it was. I posted a start and during as my main pic on here to show myself some progress.

I also shopped in plus sizes as a 22/24 at my heaviest, and my first real goal was to be able to shop in 'normal' clothing sections / stores.

I have achieve that, and can buy a size under the top sizes in these stores, sometimes even 2, yet I STILL have size 22 clothes I wear occasionally!! not out and about but PJ's and 'comfy' clothes around the house. I am beginning to think I need to ditch them or put them in a box or something to get them out of my wardrobe. I can recognise weight loss however when I wear them, as they are clearly too big and in some cases to the point of making me look like I have clown pants on! lol

I guess what I'm saying is that there are ways we can 'move forward' if we try, and that maybe it's time for you to clear out your closet. That tip about trying on old clothes could really help.

the previous posters comment about the corridoor with chairs in the way is interesting.. I could imagine that is very accurate. I remember (with a giggle) nearly knocking someone OFF a chair (an office chair on wheels) when I was pregnant.. I tried to fit through a gap between chair and photocopier.. and barged the person!! lol My bump had grown a lot since I'd last been in that place and I hadn't realised! lol

kkalg7 · August 2011

Accepting and loving ourselves for who we are right now can be very difficult, especially if we have a history of low self esteem and poor body image. There are a lot of really good people out there who can help.

KarmaxKitty · August 2011

bump. Not done losing and I have problems with this too...

PJS323 · August 2011

Thank you! Saying a little chant everyday just might help. I'm gonna try it. I know one of the big obstacles is forgiving myself for gaining it in the first place. I'm taking it one day @ a time, and I appreciate you sharing your story & help with me!!

alchmst · August 2011

When I was learning to fly, we had to wear a blinder that limited our vision to only see the flying controls. It's very scary to not have an outside visual reference when you are 3,000ft. in the air. One crusty old instructor drilled into me, "TRUST your instruments, son... they will never lie and they will keep you alive."

Thank goodness for his wisdom. Indeed, I look in a mirror and see fat, fat, fat. But the scale and measuring tape don't lie; I am 18lbs. lighter and 18 is 18. My bench press has gone from 110lbs. to 220lbs. and 220 is 220. Do I see myself weighing under 200? Nope!

Trust your 'instruments', they will keep you alive!

thedreamhazer · August 2011

bump

Saving this for the hard days. Sometimes, it helps to know you're not alone in your struggles, and to see the kind words and advice of others.

mgmlap · August 2011

I have lost 25 pounds..and even though my clothes are baggy..they still arent baggy enough. I still see fat..and its depressing. I think its always going to be easier to see it in others..cause we are our own worst critic.

And whats worse is when we hit plateus..and nothing goes anywhere..but I guess we are on a journey..and sometimes the car stalls..that doesnt mean we get out..we wait patiently..and the car will start moving again.

You are not alone..we all feel this way at one point or another..

Do you see what everyone else sees?

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