Do you see what everyone else sees?

No, I do not see what others see!! I was 252 lbs 13 months ago. I have since lost a 113 lbs. I have went from a size 24 down to a 7 in pants and smalls and mediums in tops. I still find myself wondering to the plus size section for clothes. When I am in the general size area I am constantly looking around and trying to compare myself to others and to see if people are starring at me, because I don't belong in that section. I hold up a pair of 7 and they seem BIG to the eye. As is I was looking at a size 24 again. STUPID I know!

I am afraid to post before and after pics because I am just uncomfotable about showing what I look like. I get compliments like crazy on how "great", "amazing", "stunning", "fabulous", etc. I was actually told all of these words Tuesday morning at a business meeting. Yes, a total NSV. I don't feel right about posting NSV's, I feel some what ashamed and guilty. When I hit the 100lb lost. I had planned on posting pics and so fourth. I didn't . It was such an odd feeling when it happened. I cried, then I felt like screaming and yelling to the world, but I didn't.

I am 12 lbs away from my goal weight. I sit and think well when I reach that will that be enough? Will I still feel the need to keep pushing? When does it end? I surely don't want to go back to a year ago!

Tuesday morning for my business meeting, I wore a new out fit. I decided to wear clothes that actually fit, rather than pinning and tucking and belting trying to get the most milegae out of my existing wardrobe. I am wearing a size 7 crop pants, and a medium top out of the junior department I turn to my husband and ask so innocently "Do I look FAT in this?" He chuckled and then it went into an hysterical laugh. He said "Rhonda, you have lost 113 lbs no matter what you wear, you are not going to look fat!" I walked away with doubt.

On my torso I feel that I have lost weight because I now have a rib cage and hip bones that are very obvious. So every now and then I cop a feel of my self to help remind me, YES, you have lost weight.

I have considered talking with a pychologist or something to see if it might help me. I was told it would take some time for my mind to catch up with weight loss.

I can say I feel great most of the time. I have energy, and ambition. I have a positive out look on life again.

Best Wishes~Rhonda

a good way to see if you're seeing what's real is to get a large piece of paper and a marker, or just use chalk on the driveway/garage. mark where the top of your head and bottom of feet are, as well as the length of your arms. get up and draw what you think your outline is (do not trace yourself at this point). When your drawing is complete, lay down on top of it and have someone trace you with a different color marker or chalk. Now get up and compare the two lines; is your drawing larger than the tracing, smaller, or the same? Whatever the outcome is, this exercise should help you see how you view yourself compared to what is real. Remember to always love and accept yourself exactly where you are today and set realistic goals

Accepting and loving ourselves for who we are right now can be very difficult, especially if we have a history of low self esteem and poor body image. There are a lot of really good people out there who can help.

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Saving this for the hard days. Sometimes, it helps to know you're not alone in your struggles, and to see the kind words and advice of others.

I look at my clothes and know I swim in them. I try on old clothes that are much closer to fitting now than even a few months ago. I compare old pictures to newer ones, and think, "Yes, I'm definitely thinner." But I look at myself in the mirror and don't see anything different. It goes the other way, too--when I was at my heaviest, I didn't see that, either. I don't know how long it's going to take before I have a more accurate personal image of myself.