TRAUMATIZED by video of myself

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  • Kohanai
    Kohanai Posts: 172 Member
    blujp wrote: »
    I went to a con and got a pic with one of my favorite actors. Then I looked at it and it ruined the entire rest of the weekend for me - I didn't want to do any more pics with actors I'd been planning on and felt like crap. I have the pic saved on my phone but can't even look at it now without getting upset.

    You know, I struggle with this. Going to Cons is the best, and I want to enjoy photo ops with my favs, but that means being in the photo with them, and I just can't bring myself to do it.
  • Kohanai
    Kohanai Posts: 172 Member
    Ok, advice-giving post now that I'm officially over my latest photo experience. At least, this is my *real* answer to "fighting the sadness." It may not work for anyone else.

    "Great photos" of people generally have great angles, great lighting, perhaps some editing or smoothing, and a pleasing ratio of space to subject. This can happen with candids or group photos, but not often. We need to try to remember that it generally takes work for even the most photogenic people to have great photos. Everyone deals with crappy photos and videos, and everyone has these down periods. That's natural. However, the problem isn't with US. It is with the science of taking a 3d object (you) and rendering it in a 2d form (photo). With that, we are tuned in to our negatives, so will see them regardless of if it is a great photo or not.

    I'm one of those people that needs facts to feel better about something, as no amount of cajoling or propping up will help me. Fact: big box chains generally make clothing to fit a couple of body types. If you are not in that range of body type, even the most mundane of clothing will fit weird. A friend reminded me of that, and it helped.

    So, for photos in general, from a photographer with a ridiculous photo phobia to others: be aware of how you stand, the shape your body/arms/head makes, camera angle in relation to you, and your relationship with others (objects or people) in the photo. A simple head tilt, body twist, space showing between arm and waist/legs, or sticking your hip out will make a huge difference in the transition from a 3d person to a 2d photo.

    For me, knowing these things supports the fact that what I SEE in a mirror clashes with what appears on a PHOTO. I went back to Target today, put one of the stupid bathing suits back on and took another photo with some of those things in mind. With just a couple of pose changes (I promise, not work, just, standing differently), I was better able to recreate what I was SEEING, and I didn't feel as bad when I saw the photo. Heh, I still wasn't happy, and you better bet I deleted it as soon as I was done scrutinizing it. But, it didn't traumatize me like it did Friday (or whenever that happened).
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    blujp wrote: »
    I went to a con and got a pic with one of my favorite actors. Then I looked at it and it ruined the entire rest of the weekend for me - I didn't want to do any more pics with actors I'd been planning on and felt like crap. I have the pic saved on my phone but can't even look at it now without getting upset.

    That stinks. In college, a bunch of friends and I met and "hung out with" Vanilla Ice and they still share the photos (it wasn't in his heyday, late 90s comeback attempt)...I destroyed all photos with me in them, because I didn't like the way I looked, weight and haircolor/style. I should regret it maybe but I don't at all. I looked my all-time worst in those pics. But at least it taught me not to dye my hair bright bright red. haha
  • helene4
    helene4 Posts: 120 Member
    Unhappiness is a sign that something powerful is stirring inside of you. To do what the voice inside of you may have always been calling you to do...
  • layandal
    layandal Posts: 11 Member
    Even worse: I love taking photos and always want to be in them, too, so I'm somewhere to be seen in our family albums. I will tell my husband to take a pic of my daughter and me (since there are thousand of the two of them) and I'm always super disappointed with how I look. Especially when it's from the side.
  • blujp
    blujp Posts: 30 Member
    tweedabird wrote: »
    Can I just say...it’s been a tough week. With that video thing and then a 4 year old asking my why I look so big.... she literally was like “what did you eat? Why do you look like this (holding arms out wide) Whaaaaaat the heck??? Come freaking on... lol I didn’t thing i looked THAT freakishly big. So all that being said, it so nice knowing I’m not the only one that has this reaction to photos. But I’m ready for a fresh week. Went for a walk tonight which felt really really good. So bring on next week.

    Kids can be the woooooorst about that stuff. I am a teacher and my students have told me 'Miss M needs to work out or Miss M has a big stomach' like THANKS GUYS. I teach special education so my kids have zero filter lmao.

  • tirowow12385
    tirowow12385 Posts: 697 Member
    How the food is stored on you doesn't define who you are as a person, when you're fat and when you're skinny and fit. Take it easy.
  • tweedabird
    tweedabird Posts: 17 Member
    blujp wrote: »
    tweedabird wrote: »
    Can I just say...it’s been a tough week. With that video thing and then a 4 year old asking my why I look so big.... she literally was like “what did you eat? Why do you look like this (holding arms out wide) Whaaaaaat the heck??? Come freaking on... lol I didn’t thing i looked THAT freakishly big. So all that being said, it so nice knowing I’m not the only one that has this reaction to photos. But I’m ready for a fresh week. Went for a walk tonight which felt really really good. So bring on next week.

    Kids can be the woooooorst about that stuff. I am a teacher and my students have told me 'Miss M needs to work out or Miss M has a big stomach' like THANKS GUYS. I teach special education so my kids have zero filter lmao.

    Oh my word I know. This was the second time she’s said something to me. She followed up by asking how I like being her best friend. lol She’s a super funny kid but yeah. Kids=0 filter.
  • mbaker566
    mbaker566 Posts: 11,233 Member
    use it as motivation. and love where you are. you can love where you are and still want to be a better version.
  • thelettermegan
    thelettermegan Posts: 49 Member
    OH I've been there - I was doing open mics until someone showed me a video of me playing and singing . . . . I looked terrible and the singing wasn't so great either. I was getting a lot of compliments but that was the moment I threw in the towel. A few years later I was at an art event and decided to pose with a piece for what I thought was a really cool shot in my cool outfit . . . it looked terrible! I blamed the new digital camera.

    It's been a few years since then, with some up and downs, but this last month or so I've been motivated by an upcoming black tie event. I'm only down a few pounds, but when I look in the mirror, I'm pleasantly surprised by the results.

    And I am singing again.
  • SMorris1970
    SMorris1970 Posts: 12 Member
    Yes. I have a picture of myself from fourth of July a couple of years ago when i thought i was doing so well on my weight loss. When i saw that picture i cried because i still had a fat stomach that was showing really bad in that pic! It totally de-motivated me and i thought why bother and why put in all this hard work. So i stopped working out stopped eating healthy stopped it all. And you know what? I blew up even bigger. Now i see that picture that i thought was so bad and i see the chubby tummy, but i also see thin legs, thinner arms, smiling faces and friends. Now i have to start all over.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    I never let my picture be taken for years. Then one day in 2008 or so I decided, "Is this the way you want to live your life? So you're fat, other fat people get their picture taken, just smile and be happy." And I had my picture taken in front of a vintage airplane at an airshow. For some reason my resolution didn't last (I think because I saw the picture and thought I looked awful, but I honestly don't remember) and I went back to not having my picture taken after that.

    Well... that airshow picture is my "before" shot now. It's the only fat picture of me I can find. And I'm glad to have it to keep myself from ever going back to that weight because I think I looked *disgusting.* I'm smiling, I'm having a good time, but my face and body look so ugly and everything I like about myself is buried. There are people who I think look lovely even when they gain a lot of weight. I am not one of those people.

    When I was down about thirty pounds, my mom said to me, "You're starting to get your face back." I think that's a good way of putting it. I started being able to recognize myself in the mirror again.

    Here's the thing: you really can lose the weight. It takes a surprisingly short amount of time, compared to the rest of your life. I wish I had done it back then and enjoyed my life - I remember the other thing about this day at the airshow was waiting in 100 degree heat for an hour and then not getting to see the cockpit of the airplane because I started having heart palpitations because I was too darned fat. I went to the fair and didn't get to ride any rides. I skipped going places because I couldn't walk far enough or couldn't handle the heat without sitting down. I was right back then about one thing - life really is too short to spend it avoiding photos. Don't get sad and give up, lose the damn weight!
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