TRAUMATIZED by video of myself

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  • thelettermegan
    thelettermegan Posts: 49 Member
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    OH I've been there - I was doing open mics until someone showed me a video of me playing and singing . . . . I looked terrible and the singing wasn't so great either. I was getting a lot of compliments but that was the moment I threw in the towel. A few years later I was at an art event and decided to pose with a piece for what I thought was a really cool shot in my cool outfit . . . it looked terrible! I blamed the new digital camera.

    It's been a few years since then, with some up and downs, but this last month or so I've been motivated by an upcoming black tie event. I'm only down a few pounds, but when I look in the mirror, I'm pleasantly surprised by the results.

    And I am singing again.
  • SMorris1970
    SMorris1970 Posts: 12 Member
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    Yes. I have a picture of myself from fourth of July a couple of years ago when i thought i was doing so well on my weight loss. When i saw that picture i cried because i still had a fat stomach that was showing really bad in that pic! It totally de-motivated me and i thought why bother and why put in all this hard work. So i stopped working out stopped eating healthy stopped it all. And you know what? I blew up even bigger. Now i see that picture that i thought was so bad and i see the chubby tummy, but i also see thin legs, thinner arms, smiling faces and friends. Now i have to start all over.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
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    I never let my picture be taken for years. Then one day in 2008 or so I decided, "Is this the way you want to live your life? So you're fat, other fat people get their picture taken, just smile and be happy." And I had my picture taken in front of a vintage airplane at an airshow. For some reason my resolution didn't last (I think because I saw the picture and thought I looked awful, but I honestly don't remember) and I went back to not having my picture taken after that.

    Well... that airshow picture is my "before" shot now. It's the only fat picture of me I can find. And I'm glad to have it to keep myself from ever going back to that weight because I think I looked *disgusting.* I'm smiling, I'm having a good time, but my face and body look so ugly and everything I like about myself is buried. There are people who I think look lovely even when they gain a lot of weight. I am not one of those people.

    When I was down about thirty pounds, my mom said to me, "You're starting to get your face back." I think that's a good way of putting it. I started being able to recognize myself in the mirror again.

    Here's the thing: you really can lose the weight. It takes a surprisingly short amount of time, compared to the rest of your life. I wish I had done it back then and enjoyed my life - I remember the other thing about this day at the airshow was waiting in 100 degree heat for an hour and then not getting to see the cockpit of the airplane because I started having heart palpitations because I was too darned fat. I went to the fair and didn't get to ride any rides. I skipped going places because I couldn't walk far enough or couldn't handle the heat without sitting down. I was right back then about one thing - life really is too short to spend it avoiding photos. Don't get sad and give up, lose the damn weight!

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