Family & Friends Opinions on How You Look
Replies
-
Wow! This has been eye opening. Just goes to show, when people make comments, they aren’t always coming from the right place. I guess you just have to take each person/comment and consider the persons motive.
Comment from my mother who’s been watching the show the voice:
I just love kelly Clarkson. You should try to be like her. People pick on her weight, and she just doesn’t care!
Seriously? My answer was, she seems like a very nice lady and Is super talented, but nobody is truly happy being overweight. She’s just chosen not to tackle it.
Her choice. I’m not knocking her, but that’s not me!
As you’ve probably quessed, my mom is overweight.6 -
I have gotten many comments, a few that are interesting was from my best friend stating "don't lose too much" Now I do believe this is because she was the skinny friend and now that has changed as I am much more fit than I have been since we became friends, So I think it comes from my changes makes them look at themselves and realize they may need to make changes.
Now my husband has never seen me this fit and he is getting used to it, what he is dealing with is others now looking at me more. We are confident with our relationship but I have had an older man say to me, Why are you losing weight are you looking for another man, that is the only reason a women loses weight. I feel sorry for him that he thinks so little of women and wont give him the time of day now.
Ugh!! I absolutely hate it when people think that. I started eating better & exercising more, lost a little weight, and my ex and I divorced for totally different reasons, and he actually initiated the split...but a few people were saying I cheated or was going through a mid-life crisis and other hurtful comments.
Then when I started seeing my current husband and lost a lot more weight, people gossiped that I must be losing so much weight "to try and have a baby". I was 35 when we met. I've been childfree by choice since my teens and my current husband had a vasectomy when we started getting serious. I've also heard that I had weight loss surgery, but I wasn't present for that so it came as a big shock to me!
People talk a lot of bunk!
I would avoid that older man with his ignorant comments too, ugh.
10 -
Greatly depends on who and what.
My mother started saying I was skinny minnie when I was still nearly BMI 27 So really very much in the overweight category! In all fairness it had a lot to do with her own weight issues at the time and because I could prove that I was not skinny by any means it quickly stopped. In fact it opened her eyes and she went on a journey too - She is still very overweight (I suspect still obese) but at least no longer morbidly obese and her health has improved dramatically after losing over 20Kgs
My MIL told me to stop at around BMI and she got a rebuke form both my husband and me that it was not her place to tell me when I needed to stop or not. My husband told her that I know what I am doing period.
My husband, simply asked what I wanted to achieve and only encouraged me to to do it in a healthy way. He loves the fact that I have built muscle and sees what it had done to my self-esteem. He only concerns himself if he feels I go too obsessive and he tells me so. At present he is very supportive on my maintenance and the way I look after myself on that. He appreciates it when I tell him to take it easy on the meals for a week when I am entering the upper end of my maintenance range and knows when I am at the bottom and will help me then too.5 -
My husband asked me last year if I had a "problem", and if he should be worried because I was losing tons of weight...However, earlier in the week, he grabbed my entire tummy and said "You're looking sooooo good. Mmmmm, skinny.". He loves SUPER skinny women, and it hurts me when he makes comments about weight in general. My mom always knows to not bring up any weight loss, as I have told her many times that it is nobodies right to comment on anothers weight...7
-
Opinions are like a_s_sholes everybody has one. They said I was too fat at 230, now they say I am too skinny at 175. Lol. You can't win. I have learned to just do me and ignore everyone else. I am not even close to how I want to look and I am sure there will be more 'opinions' along the way. I just put my blinders on and forge ahead.8
-
Had a family member telling me that I've lost too much weight, so much so that I look "horrible" (I have gone from 293 and over 40% body fat to 217 or so at 24% body fat at the time). When I said I had at least 25 pounds to go, she had other comments about how I need to gain some back and that I was too skinny. I told her that I was wanting to get down to about 10-12% body fat and have a 6 pack when i hit 40 for the first time in my life. She said I was too old for that and still didn't believe me that I could stand to lose more weight until I finally took off my shirt and said "See, I still have plenty to lose". She didn't have much to say after that. That was at our family Easter. I'm now down to 212 and still going!11
-
Well, my ex-husband is an ex for a few reasons, and this is one area that is a great example of why that is the case.
When we got together, we were both active and fit. Several years into our relationship, around the same time, we both ended up becoming less active due to our work/schooling. We both put on weight.
I went from hearing semi-regular compliments on my appearance to ZERO comments, even when I dressed up and looked nice. On no less than two occassions I talked to him about it, saying that I realized I had put on some weight, but would appreciate a compliment every now and then, even if it's saying "that's a nice outfit." I got one compliment. ONE. Over several months at least.
In the meantime I regularly complimented him (do unto others n all that). I tried to get him to work with me on coordinating going to the gym (for both of our sakes), trimming back portions, etc, but he wasn't interested. He'd go to the gym, but had zero interest in trying to coordinate with me AT ALL.
It was one symptom of other issues, but an example of an unhealthy relationship.
I've had boyfriends since who would comment, but usually they were positive and/or encouraging.0 -
My husband just keeps his mouth shut. He thinks lifting weights and/or going to the gym in general is stupid. He also hates the look of muscular women. He’s more into fluffy women. I just do my thing. I’m not planning on becoming a fitness bikini competitor or anything I just want to keep healthy and generally fit.6
-
Yes, my mother does. I was about 30 pounds overweight. I got sick (didn't know I was sick) and was dieting and lost it all really quick. It wasn't gradual. I lost over 35 pounds in like 3 months. I've been on the road to gaining back muscle currently but my mom and sisters always comments on how I look.
Both my mother and my two sisters are at least 50 pounds or more overweight. (Not trying to lose weight) but they always comment on things like my butt or my extra skin or what not.5 -
I'm very fortunate in that my husband is an "if you're happy then I'm happy" kind of guy. He supported me when I wanted to lose, when I wanted to put on muscle, when I wanted a breast reduction (people loved to ask him what he thought of that-to which he just gave them a "wtf" look). If I were looking sickly or doing something extreme he would certainly voice his concern but I'm not someone to do that.
The rest of my family simply says that I look fit. It's not something I go out of my way to talk about except to my dad who is extremely physically active so we like to swap personal bests and *kitten* about our aches.3 -
My mom made comments when I was bigger, and then my wife started...but that was because they were worried about my health and going down the same path as my dad.
I don't get comments now, but I'm also in no danger of being "skinny", nor am I fat.
The only thing my wife has ever said jokingly was that if I ever fit into my military uniform again, she might have to divorce me...'cuz, yeah...I was rail thin and about 140 Lbs soaking wet and looked like a string bean with no muscle or fat to speak of.4 -
i surround myself only with people who love and support me.
If any negative comments have been said, it certainly wasn't around me, as I would tell them exactly where to PUT their comments and opinions.3 -
no one has ever commented negatively about my body to my face...LOL.
except my father in law once when i was eating the leftovers off my kids plate he commented "oh, so thats why you've been gaining weight" lmao5 -
If I tried to surround myself only with people who both loved AND supported me, it would be just me and my husband in a room. LOL!
I’ve found that the people who love me are not necessarily supportive. Human nature being what it is..9 -
frankiesgirlie wrote: »I’ve found that the people who love me are not necessarily supportive. Human nature being what it is..
I think perhaps either yours or their definition of love needs to be re-evaluated.
7 -
People have been supportive and complimentary. But when I say that I want to lose 30 more pounds they say I’m crazy. Have you *kitten* seen me naked? I didn’t think so. So now I don’t voluntarily say the desire to lose more weight out loud.3
-
I just got my first “you don’t need to lose more” comment from someone trying to be complimentary. I said “I’ll go by what the dr. says next time” and moved on. It’s not up for discussion. -152 with 23 to go and see how things look. Oh the bingo wings though!3
-
I wish my wife were meaner sometimes. I don't put much stock in most people's opinions including my family but for her I would do anything.2
-
I have also received the "you look so gaunt" or "please don't lose anymore weight" comments from loved ones. Always surprised me, as I was at the very top end of a healthy BMI at the time. Sometimes it takes our friends, family or co-workers a while to adjust to seeing the changes in our bodies and new thinner versions of ourselves.3
-
I’m currently on 1200 calorie diet to lose 10-20lbs. My mom is not opposed of me trying to lose weight, she is only concern if I’m losing it in an unhealthy way since I have history of chronic gastritis. She thinks I look great and shouldn’t be worried about weight loss but focus on being healthy instead (which I agree 100%)
My friends think I look fine and roll their eyes when I said I’m trying to lose weight. Weight loss & diet are rarely discussed between us.
My dad sometimes make fun of what I eat though, and often told me “how could you lose weight if you keep eating that?”. He also told me diet is useless without exercise.
But nobody ever make a negative comment about my body (except my ex).2 -
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »frankiesgirlie wrote: »I’ve found that the people who love me are not necessarily supportive. Human nature being what it is..
I think perhaps either yours or their definition of love needs to be re-evaluated.
By your criteria, most people on this thread would eliminate their mother’s from their lives. It seems to be very common that our mother’s are not supportive of our diet and fitness goals. I think most of us agree that while they are not supportive, and can sometimes be downright mean, they still love us. Relationships are complicated. There’s no black & white.
Also, love doesn’t equal blind agreement on all things. It can get very lonely living that way.5 -
-
callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »i surround myself only with people who love and support me.
If any negative comments have been said, it certainly wasn't around me, as I would tell them exactly where to PUT their comments and opinions.
I also think you may not have read original post. This thread is “family and friends opinions of how you look”. It didn’t necessarily mean negative comments. Just opinions. My husband doesn’t think I need to lose the last 10 lbs. That’s his opinion. Whether or not I listen to his opinion is up to me.
5 -
My friend told me to stop doing leg workouts because my quads are getting too big. Um no they look amazing. I'm not stopping.3
-
My husband is really supportive although he doesn’t really like very skinny women so as long as I don’t get smaller than a uk10 he’ll be happy. He’s always complimented me even when I have felt fat and ugly he just says he wants me to be happy but loves me no matter what size I am. My sister in law though she is constantly trying to add me to diet groups even though she’s much bigger than I am, so I haven’t told her I’m trying to lose weight. I think you have to be happy in your own skin and although I listen to my husbands opinion if I really wanted to get super skinny and felt that’s where I needed to be I’m pretty sure I would do it. At the end of the day I’m losing weight for me and I’ll stop when I’m happy.4
-
My husband is really supportive although he doesn’t really like very skinny women so as long as I don’t get smaller than a uk10 he’ll be happy. He’s always complimented me even when I have felt fat and ugly he just says he wants me to be happy but loves me no matter what size I am. My sister in law though she is constantly trying to add me to diet groups even though she’s much bigger than I am, so I haven’t told her I’m trying to lose weight. I think you have to be happy in your own skin and although I listen to my husbands opinion if I really wanted to get super skinny and felt that’s where I needed to be I’m pretty sure I would do it. At the end of the day I’m losing weight for me and I’ll stop when I’m happy.
I like seeing how not alone I am by other men who also do not care for skinny.2 -
I've lost nearly 40 pounds over the past year (20 in the last 4 months) and haven't heard so much as a peep from anyone in my family outside of my wife who's more impressed with my dedication to getting up before dawn and hitting the gym than my weight loss.
Mind you, this may be because I lost 130 pounds four years ago and slowly gained 70 of it back before starting over again. My family may simply be wary of praising me too quickly in the event I gain some of it back again. That being said, I'd like to hear someone acknowledge it at some point.4 -
Ghostofachance wrote: »I've lost nearly 40 pounds over the past year (20 in the last 4 months) and haven't heard so much as a peep from anyone in my family outside of my wife who's more impressed with my dedication to getting up before dawn and hitting the gym than my weight loss.
Mind you, this may be because I lost 130 pounds four years ago and slowly gained 70 of it back before starting over again. My family may simply be wary of praising me too quickly in the event I gain some of it back again. That being said, I'd like to hear someone acknowledge it at some point.
Going on 50 pounds and nary a word from anyone close to me. I've had a couple of people at the gym comment, but outside of my wife, none of my family or friends has said anything. While it bothers me a little no one has said anything, I know that I am definitely making progress.0 -
My wife thought I was too fat and snored too much at the top of my bulk and thought I had too many veins and was too grumpy at the end of my cut. She's happy when I'm somewhere in the middle ... lol0
-
jseams1234 wrote: »My wife thought I was too fat and snored too much at the top of my bulk and thought I had too many veins and was too grumpy at the end of my cut. She's happy when I'm somewhere in the middle ... lol
My husband prefers me heavier than I do, cos boobies!1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.1K Introduce Yourself
- 43.7K Getting Started
- 260.1K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 419 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.9K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.5K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions