Brief Rant on Overweight Kids....You've Been Warned....
peanut613
Posts: 438 Member
So I've read on the forums a few times where people discuss childhood obesity. Yes, it's a big problem in our country.
BUT, I hate hearing people call kids fat, porkers, etc. Yes, children need to be educated on eating better, school meals should be healthier, and parents need to be more aware of what they feed their children. But what about the emotional damage these kids go through hearing people call them fat? It's bad enough that other kids at school will teast them. But I've seen parents on this site and others calling their children fat! What the heck is going on with people?!
When I was in middle school, I hit that growth spurt where your height and weight don't match and I was short and fat. Eventually my height spurted too, but at the time I was a chunky girl. I overheard my grandparents, who I loved dearly, talking to my parents about my weight. It crushed me. Now that I'm a mother, I am very protective of my daughter. My mother in law said my daughter was chunky and I flipped out! She was about a year old at the time and has always been at the top of the charts in height and weight, but they're porportional. She's in the 117th percentile for her height for crying out loud! (My husband is 6'6" so she gets it from him, not shortie me lol).
I just hate when parents and grandparents are so negative of children. I'm not saying their health isn't important by any means. They NEED to be eating well and exercising. But to the parents who have called their children fat, plump, chunky, chubby, etc or who condone others saying those things, you should be ashamed of yourselves! We need a POSITIVE attitude if we expect to change childhood obesity without crushing childrens' self esteem...
End rant.
BUT, I hate hearing people call kids fat, porkers, etc. Yes, children need to be educated on eating better, school meals should be healthier, and parents need to be more aware of what they feed their children. But what about the emotional damage these kids go through hearing people call them fat? It's bad enough that other kids at school will teast them. But I've seen parents on this site and others calling their children fat! What the heck is going on with people?!
When I was in middle school, I hit that growth spurt where your height and weight don't match and I was short and fat. Eventually my height spurted too, but at the time I was a chunky girl. I overheard my grandparents, who I loved dearly, talking to my parents about my weight. It crushed me. Now that I'm a mother, I am very protective of my daughter. My mother in law said my daughter was chunky and I flipped out! She was about a year old at the time and has always been at the top of the charts in height and weight, but they're porportional. She's in the 117th percentile for her height for crying out loud! (My husband is 6'6" so she gets it from him, not shortie me lol).
I just hate when parents and grandparents are so negative of children. I'm not saying their health isn't important by any means. They NEED to be eating well and exercising. But to the parents who have called their children fat, plump, chunky, chubby, etc or who condone others saying those things, you should be ashamed of yourselves! We need a POSITIVE attitude if we expect to change childhood obesity without crushing childrens' self esteem...
End rant.
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Replies
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I totally agree with you. Kids are cruel. Kids tease about anything and everything - a child dealing with weight issues doesn't need to hear adults discussing their weight too.0
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4 Words:
Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution.
If you have not seen it check out the first 2 seasons. You should be able to watch it for free online. The best takeaways are the families that cook together and where the kids learn how to cook too.0 -
I agree.0
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I am so aware of this. My mother was really hurtful in this regard and we don't have anything to do with eachother anymore. She used to make comments about my belly ALL THE TIME. Ugh, I'm angry just thinking about it. I was never "overweight" but I carry all my fat in my tummy.
I have a daughter who is 22 months and I sometimes call her legs "chubby" and I should stop. I mean it as a term of endearment but I think they are fricken adorable, but the word itself is not nice. I love my girl dearly and I want her to grow up strong and confident!0 -
I agree. A friend of mine just had a letter from the NHS (via the school nurse) to inform her that her 5 year old was overweight, and she should maybe discuss this with her child. It seems like even authorities are labelling children as fat at an early age...
The girl in question is very active, you can't stop her moving long enough to put food in her mouth half the time! And why on earth would you burden a 5 yr old with diet worries? At that age, it really is the parent's duty to set the standards.0 -
4 Words:
Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution.
If you have not seen it check out the first 2 seasons. You should be able to watch it for free online. The best takeaways are the families that cook together and where the kids learn how to cook too.
I love that show.0 -
I can think of so many times my grandfather sitting me down to talk about my weight. When I think back on it, he was trying to help but it was terrible. Did her really think I wanted to be like this?0
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totally agree with you!0
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My stepmom calls my 9yr old sister a fat brat.
I like to get the opportunity to remind her that she created it and she needs to be a better mother. I wish I could take my sister, but I can't. So I do what I can when I'm with her:( which includes my telling my Dad "No. She doesn't need YOUR food. She finished her own, she doesn't need yours as well. You didn't finish it, why should she finish it for you?"
He's just blatantly ignorant of nutrition. Her mother is just a beast.0 -
At the end of the day it is the adults fault that the children are overweight to begin with but there is nothing cute about a fat child. I have 2 boys and I watch what they eat very closely. I talk to them about what's healthy and that by eating the right things they will grow to be strong. They see me workout every morning and they see their father workout at night. If my children were ever fat it would be my fault not theirs.0
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Yep, just talk about it out of earshot, hopefully if the parents have noticed enough to talk about it then they're talking about ways to help the kid fix the issues and get healthy...maybe use a new word like "fluffy" so the kid doesn't know what you're talking about...0
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You have a great point! My niece in in the upper percentile as well, at 9 months old she is wearing 12 months for clothes! I love her so much, I call her my little chuncky monkey, and tell her, no one can say your fat, your healthy. I know she doesn't understand. When my parents or sister call her a pudger, I say she's going to take after her auntie!
My nephew is tall, and skinny, and a picky eater, my niece, if it's food that can go in her mouth, she wants it, if you don't feed her fast enough she grunts at you. I know what you mean about school, and kids being mean, I went thru the same thing, in High School, and up untill 21 years old I was 5'2", and 140, I was the pudgie kid you got picked on, and now I am 5'2" and at this point 160.5, I still have my sister call me fat, and she taught my nephew to say I have a "dookie booty" to her it's not a bad thing, but to me, at 30, it's still hurtful. Thank God I have my fiancee who has been great to me, supportive with my weight loss goals, and thinks I'm beutiful as is. Personally I can't wait to be 120, and look the best I can for me, and him.0 -
My stepmom calls my 9yr old sister a fat brat.
I like to get the opportunity to remind her that she created it and she needs to be a better mother. I wish I could take my sister, but I can't. So I do what I can when I'm with her:( which includes my telling my Dad "No. She doesn't need YOUR food. She finished her own, she doesn't need yours as well. You didn't finish it, why should she finish it for you?"
He's just blatantly ignorant of nutrition. Her mother is just a beast.
That's horrible! Good for you for trying to stick up for her. I hope you find a way to help What a tough spot. 0 -
Yes, my mom and grandparents were very damaging to my self-esteem growing up and I wasn't even overweight, but rather more of an athletic build. I've never done that to my children and I never would. One of my kids is naturally slim and the other struggles more with her weight, but I've never told her she's anything but beautiful (and she is!). Of course I've always provided her with healthful food options and opportunities to be active. Now she's older and taking charge of her health, exercising and eating right. She's even on MFP with me!0
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I'll be honest, it never occurred to me how much damage people can do. I was a ballerina from the age of 4-16 and weight was just..there and always talked about in frank terms. Some with low self esteem developed eating problems but most of us just learned where we needed to work to slim. I don't say NOT talking to your kids is good, or telling them they are perfect is good either if they do have a weight problem. At some point ego must be sacrificed for health but I agree there is no need for derogatory terms. I however do not usually think of terms like chubby as derogatory.0
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My sisnlaw calls my youngest nephew "Chunky Monkey." She intends it to be affectionate, but I always wonder what she is doing to the poor kid's self-esteem. He is not chunky, he is just fine. He is maybe a bit short, I don't know his height, etc., but I can tell he will grow and thin out. If anything, his older (step)brother is a bit chunky. Not sure how since he all kinds of sports, but he perhaps picked up his mother's poor eating habits. None of us say anything to him about his "chunk." He's only 9, for cryin' out loud, and his brother "chunky monkey" is only 8.0
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Yes, my mom and grandparents were very damaging to my self-esteem growing up and I wasn't even overweight, but rather more of an athletic build. I've never done that to my children and I never would. One of my kids is naturally slim and the other struggles more with her weight, but I've never told her she's anything but beautiful (and she is!). Of course I've always provided her with healthful food options and opportunities to be active. Now she's older and taking charge of her health, exercising and eating right. She's even on MFP with me!
I'm glad she's taking charge! Some people have a slower metabolism and will always have to push to maintain their weight. Reminding your daughter that she's beautiful and encouraging her is awesome!0 -
In all honesty I'd rather have my mom calling me fat than telling me I work out to much, and eat like a anorexic.
Because that nearly hurts more considering I USE to be anorexic and she didn't know, and now that I take the healthier approach she says stuff like that.
Some kids NEED the hurtful boost to become healthy. I know I've mentioned to my mom about my barely five year old neice being 70 pounds and fat, because the kids family is eating out constantly, and she only behaving for desert and if she doesn't get it she CRIES over it.
Heaven for bid the kids is always saying"Ketchup is healthy mommy"
No its not. Educate your kids early, before means kids educate them for you!
This kid is vain, it wouldn't hurt for her mom to say, next time she is crying over desert, you are heavy i think a peice of chocolate is all you need.Because this kid dresses her self and walks around the house yelling about how pretty she is, and if you don't tell her she is pretty, she cries and whines louder.
Kids this generation. They are fat, and they are vain.
I'm 15 and ashamed to be marked into this generaton of kids
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The difference here is that you care about your children's well being. I think that a majority of people with 'larger' kids either A) don't know that they are feeding them garbage or
Don't care. I do the shopping in my house and I am surprised weekly what people buy. Call me a food snob.
Its just plain rude and uncalled for when snide comments are made about someones weight. Especially with kids.0 -
The parents should be supporting their kids. Not cutting them down.0
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I was always the heaviest in my classes, and at home my older sister and I struggled with our weight, especially when we hit puberty....My classmates were cruel, but my dad was worse...He would call us 'blubber butt' and 'thunder thighs'....Here I am, almost 40 years later and I have NEVER forgotten that and never will....0
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Oh, and let me not forget the worst one..."lard *kitten*"....0
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In all honesty I'd rather have my mom calling me fat than telling me I work out to much, and eat like a anorexic.
Because that nearly hurts more considering I USE to be anorexic and she didn't know, and now that I take the healthier approach she says stuff like that.
Some kids NEED the hurtful boost to become healthy. I know I've mentioned to my mom about my barely five year old neice being 70 pounds and fat, because the kids family is eating out constantly, and she only behaving for desert and if she doesn't get it she CRIES over it.
Heaven for bid the kids is always saying"Ketchup is healthy mommy"
No its not. Educate your kids early, before means kids educate them for you!
This kid is vain, it wouldn't hurt for her mom to say, next time she is crying over desert, you are heavy i think a peice of chocolate is all you need.Because this kid dresses her self and walks around the house yelling about how pretty she is, and if you don't tell her she is pretty, she cries and whines louder.
Kids this generation. They are fat, and they are vain.
I'm 15 and ashamed to be marked into this generaton of kids
I've heard several people complaining that people criticize them for being "too thin" even though they are within their healthy window for their height. I'm sorry you battled anorexia but congrats for being healthy about your weight now!
I think the problem lies in parents not knowing or caring what their kids eat. Eating out regularly is just asking for problems. I'm not sure I agree that people should be so blunt and call a child fat, but taking action is smart.
As far as crying over not getting their way, that's a whole other ballgame. Parents these days don't appreciate a good butt whuppin... My daughter is 2, so we are constantly dealing with the "mine" and her just in general not getting her way. Hopefully, she'll soon get the picture that you aren't entitled to snacks, treats, toys, etc. You behave because that's what you're supposed to do. Toys or dessert are for special occasions only... Kids these days need their butts beat like we used to, back in the day LOL0 -
Oh, and let me not forget the worst one..."lard *kitten*"....
That's horrible, I'm sorry to hear that.
This is proof, people, that words last a lifetime. Calling a child fat when they're little won't just go away. If a child is overweight, change their food! Make them ride a bike, not just play Xbox... Don't dare call them such mean names which will kill them...0 -
Exactly! I was spanked as a child, and I sometimes tell my parents maybe they should of smacked me more(Only when they complain about how I'm 'rebeling' Because I'm a vegetarian and dye my hair different colors).In all honesty I'd rather have my mom calling me fat than telling me I work out to much, and eat like a anorexic.
Because that nearly hurts more considering I USE to be anorexic and she didn't know, and now that I take the healthier approach she says stuff like that.
Some kids NEED the hurtful boost to become healthy. I know I've mentioned to my mom about my barely five year old neice being 70 pounds and fat, because the kids family is eating out constantly, and she only behaving for desert and if she doesn't get it she CRIES over it.
Heaven for bid the kids is always saying"Ketchup is healthy mommy"
No its not. Educate your kids early, before means kids educate them for you!
This kid is vain, it wouldn't hurt for her mom to say, next time she is crying over desert, you are heavy i think a peice of chocolate is all you need.Because this kid dresses her self and walks around the house yelling about how pretty she is, and if you don't tell her she is pretty, she cries and whines louder.
Kids this generation. They are fat, and they are vain.
I'm 15 and ashamed to be marked into this generaton of kids
I've heard several people complaining that people criticize them for being "too thin" even though they are within their healthy window for their height. I'm sorry you battled anorexia but congrats for being healthy about your weight now!
I think the problem lies in parents not knowing or caring what their kids eat. Eating out regularly is just asking for problems. I'm not sure I agree that people should be so blunt and call a child fat, but taking action is smart.
As far as crying over not getting their way, that's a whole other ballgame. Parents these days don't appreciate a good butt whuppin... My daughter is 2, so we are constantly dealing with the "mine" and her just in general not getting her way. Hopefully, she'll soon get the picture that you aren't entitled to snacks, treats, toys, etc. You behave because that's what you're supposed to do. Toys or dessert are for special occasions only... Kids these days need their butts beat like we used to, back in the day LOL
I have no problem spanking kids. I have baby sat my nephew, and have smacked him Multipul times. Yes the crying makes me feel guilty, but he needs to listen. The nephew is physically punished WAYYY more than the neice ever was, and ever will be. And you know who behaves better? The one year old neice.
Kids don't understand words as much as they associate pain with "oh i don't want to do this anymore because it hurts."
LOL this is a bit off topic now, my apoligies. HahaXD0 -
To be completely honest, I don't think that shielding your children by not confronting poor dietary habits is a good thing. You have to do it in the correct way. I grew up with a very athletic build, and as long as I was in sports, I was healthy, but on off-season I would "chunk up" a bit, especially during puberty. What did my parents do? Well, at meals or in terms of snacks, they told me that I couldn't eat it because I was prone to being chunky, but my brother and sisters had naturally fast metabolisms and so they could eat whatever they wanted. This hurt, especially because my parents are overweight, so I felt as if I was the only one being picked out as having to watch my weight.
I'm 21 now, and my littlest sister is 11. She is probably built the most similarly to me, (she'll end up around my height, 5'10), and if she liked sports more she'd have quite an athletic build. She's already 5'3.5 at age 11, and her older sister is only 5'4.5 at age 15. The littlest one started hitting puberty/ realizing that her poor eating was making her body less than ideal when we went spring break shopping and she had to buy the same size as the middle sister. She was by no means "fat," but before that our family members would always call her their "skinny minx" and she wasn't that anymore.
My brother started calling her fat, and she didn't feel good in a bikini, and one night, ended up coming to me crying. I sat her down, explained to her that what she eats is reflected in how her body looks, and that it was up to her to decide to put good healthy stuff into her body. I also reinforced that we loved her no matter what she looked like (something I never got as a child).
Anyway, moral of the story, in the last 4-5 months she has really decided that fruits and veggies, etc are better options than chips, soda, and ice cream, and how she looks is reflected in those choices. I think that kids nutrition needs to be reinforced, but not hypocritically, because a fat parent calling a kid fat is ridiculous. BUT, parents do them no favors by telling their kids that they have healthy bodies when they don't, because the rest of the world is going to judge.0 -
I don't have a relatonship with my mother for a variety of reasons, but her constant criticism from the age of 4 until I cut her out of my life about my weight is ingrained into my brain. 9 years ago I lost over 80 pounds and wore a size 6. I will never forget walking down the street feeling great about myself (I looked great, I've got the pics to prove it!) and as my mother and I crossed a street she padded my butt and told me I needed to spend more time at the gym. Never a positive word.
My father just sent me a package of pictures and other childhood momentos. It was a surprise as my house had burned down when I was a teenager so I didn't think any still existed. As I looked through those pictures, I saw that I was maybe 5-10 pounds overweight. Yet my whole life I thought I was this gigantic enormous fat kid. Thanks Mom!
It is important for us all to be mindful of the messages we give to children. It will stay with them forever, even the smallest comment. I remember them all, every last one.0 -
To be completely honest, I don't think that shielding your children by not confronting poor dietary habits is a good thing.
Nobody says "shielding"....it should be addressed, but as the story of your little sister proves, you need to be delicate about it. Name calling will only further hurt the child. Addressing the poor nutrition and lack of exercise is fine, but being mean is inappropriate.0 -
Jaimie Olivers Food Revolution
LOVE LOVE LOVE that show - worth watching!!!0 -
Jaimie Olivers Food Revolution
LOVE LOVE LOVE that show - worth watching!!!
I've caught a few episodes--it's great!0
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