Frustrated with my shape :(

nettiklive
nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
in Motivation and Support
Sorry, this is going to be a teen-girl-type whine (I'm quite far from a teen lol), but I have to vent somewhere. Had a mini meltdown at Target today thinking that after 6 weeks of lifting and trying to recomp, I was ready to try on bathing suits. I wasn't. Turns my out mirror at home is quite a bit more flattering than full-on lights in the fitting room. I felt awful.
I'm just frustrated because I feel it's party my actual skeleton that's creating that shape I dislike. I somehow feel both terribly bony with all the ribs sticking out, doesn't help that I'm completely flat on top, and at the same time really wide in the torso and flabby all over love handles and legs. I'm realizing that I have a really short torso, my hipbones come up super high and my ribs very low and there's no space for a real waist in between them. And starting to wonder just how much difference I can really make with just diet and exercise. Ugh. Sorry, just annoyed.
«1

Replies

  • serindipte
    serindipte Posts: 1,557 Member
    I think most of us are way harder on ourselves than we should be. I don't see any of the things you're pointing out about yourself.. not as flaws, at least. I would LOVE to look like you.. I know, maybe not super helpful coming from someone needing to lose a lot of weight, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who would be envious of your body. You're working on building the muscles you want.. Muscles build SO slowly. You're on the right track, though, so keep at it and try to love yourself as you are and as you will be.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    I see a waist. It's a bit higher due to your body shape, but it's definitely there and nothing to complain about!

    That's a really cute suit, but try on several different styles. The style, cut, and shape of the suit itself makes a huge difference. Try a higher waist bottom or one with higher cut in the leg, etc.

    You look great! Just like regular clothes you have to find the style and shape of suit that flatters your specific body.
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I see a waist. It's a bit higher due to your body shape, but it's definitely there and nothing to complain about!

    That's a really cute suit, but try on several different styles. The style, cut, and shape of the suit itself makes a huge difference. Try a higher waist bottom or one with higher cut in the leg, etc.

    You look great! Just like regular clothes you have to find the style and shape of suit that flatters your specific body.

    I tried on a whole bunch, this was actually the least horrible of them lol. The others were way worse. Also tried on some one pieces which were pretty terrible too :/
  • vallary14
    vallary14 Posts: 215 Member
    I agree with others. The suit isn’t flattering, it’s not right for your body shape. I’m positive you can find a bikini that looks awesome on! You have a nice figure and be proud of the work you’re putting in. Dressing rooms are the worst and everyone looks better in the sun.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    nettiklive wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I see a waist. It's a bit higher due to your body shape, but it's definitely there and nothing to complain about!

    That's a really cute suit, but try on several different styles. The style, cut, and shape of the suit itself makes a huge difference. Try a higher waist bottom or one with higher cut in the leg, etc.

    You look great! Just like regular clothes you have to find the style and shape of suit that flatters your specific body.

    I tried on a whole bunch, this was actually the least horrible of them lol. The others were way worse. Also tried on some one pieces which were pretty terrible too :/

    Doubtful. We are all our worst critics and I think you're being WAY too hard on yourself! When you look at yourself in the mirror respond to the image as you would a friend or even a stranger. It sounds odd, but it works.

    You certainly don't need to cover up but they do make some really cute cover-up skirts if that would make you feel better. Either way, find something you're comfortable in and OWN it.
  • funjen1972
    funjen1972 Posts: 949 Member
    Swimsuit shopping is *horrible*! Buy the best one you can find, then flaunt that beautiful body on the beach! You have a very nice waistline, exposed bone at the hip which gives a slender appearance and great legs. I promise you will love yourself more after you see others at the beach. Sure, someone will always look better, but to some people you are the one that looks better! Embrace what you have and love every bit of it! ((ok, the pep talk is over))
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
    While your shape mostly comes down to genetics and how your muscle and fat is distributed, you can change that to an extent with muscle building. You can create an illusion of a smaller waist with larger lats and glutes for example.

    The thing about recomp, while it is great, it can be slow (so 6 months is not a lot of time).. and being so lean as you seem to be, changes can be very minimal and in some cases less optimal (obviously not impossible, but results will vary). It will depend on your ultimate goals of course what you want to do.

    Also the suit.. maybe if you go for something more high cut, different top style. Also if you go to a bikini shop where the lighting is better ! Bad lighting can be really discouraging no matter the body shape.
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    charms3155 wrote: »
    Do you tan? I would tan, I feel that just a slight tan makes everything look better. BTW I think you look great, but it is true we are our own worst critics.

    Unfortunately I just burn, badly, and with my super white skin and tons of moles, I stay out of the sun as much as possible as I'd prefer not to get melanoma. I suppose I could try a spray tan but I've been afraid of it looking overly fake
  • kimothyschma
    kimothyschma Posts: 209 Member
    You look great, girl! I'm in kinda the same situation as far as being very short-waisted. You are way leaner than me, though. Also, Target swimsuits are all pretty ill-fitting and they have THE most unflattering dressing rooms (imo).
  • nettiklive
    nettiklive Posts: 206 Member
    edited May 2018
    BZAH10 wrote: »

    You certainly don't need to cover up but they do make some really cute cover-up skirts if that would make you feel better. Either way, find something you're comfortable in and OWN it.

    I have a ton of cover ups, skirts, shorts, tankinis, swimdresses, you name it. I have no problem masking problem areas and making myself look decent to others. But at the end it's still hiding and being self-conscious, and I really just want to get to the point where I could just wear a regular bikini and know that I look fantastic in it with no covering, however I'm not sure if that will ever happen :(
  • Elfinnyx
    Elfinnyx Posts: 55 Member
    You look amazing! You absolutely do have a waist - a beautiful one at that. I do see what you mean about feeling bony, maybe go for something more mix and match and have a longer top? Show off your flat abs and your lovely legs. If that's you in bad lighting, you're going to look fabulous on the beach.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    It's the suit, not you.

    I agree with this.

    While what matters most is your own opinion, OP...I absolutely think 99.9% of people (male and female) who see you in any swimsuit are going to be thinking "dang, she is so fit/ripped/perfect looking". Even if your body might not look exactly how you would prefer...you look better than a lot of fitness models.

    That suit though. I don't think the bottom part is bad at all but the top is just not a good shape. It would be better on someone who is really trying to detract from their mid-section and has a different body type.
  • Renonelarock
    Renonelarock Posts: 44 Member
    The way you described yourself vs the picture is night and day . You have a poor self image , you are gorgeous and rocking that suit :)))
  • Momepro
    Momepro Posts: 1,509 Member
    777Gemma888 wrote: »
    I don't think your body is the problem. The bikini is unflattering on your body shape, which has in turn altered your perception of yourself@home mirror vs Target mirror and lighting.

    Would you consider a monokini instead of a bikini? One that strategically covers your ribs and accentuates your hip bones rather than spotlight them, yet showing a peek-a-boo around your belly button. Something like the attached pic.

    29m8zts.jpg

    Dang! That is CUTE!
  • dsboohead
    dsboohead Posts: 1,899 Member
    Black duct tape could make that suit^^^
    A save a few bucks and perfect for hair removal.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I agree that it's the suit, not you. I would try elsewhere for a suit. Try on a few that you don't particularly like on the hanger, even. I've discovered quite a few outfits that I like on me but when I saw them on the hanger thought "there's no way."
  • Fursian
    Fursian Posts: 548 Member
    The changing room mirrors/lighting wildly confuse me, it's like the shops do not want peoples money, lmao
  • marysabetournay
    marysabetournay Posts: 69 Member
    edited May 2018
    the swimsuit is the problem, not your body! You look wonderful! Try on many more, cause finding the right one can take time but you would be surprised how great you feel when you find the one that suits you best
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    I agree that it's the suit, not you. I would try elsewhere for a suit. Try on a few that you don't particularly like on the hanger, even. I've discovered quite a few outfits that I like on me but when I saw them on the hanger thought "there's no way."

    Excellent point.
  • DananaNanas
    DananaNanas Posts: 665 Member
    I think you look great and I'm sad you don't agree :( and no one needs a tan to look good!
  • whitpauly
    whitpauly Posts: 1,483 Member
    I must be trippin cuz I like the suit haha! I think you look fabulous btw and maybe not a real tan but some of that Jergens body glow lotion? I use it on my legs and it somehow makes me look smoother and muscles more poppin :)
  • Crafty_camper123
    Crafty_camper123 Posts: 1,440 Member
    You look fine.(Great, actually.) The bad lighting in that fitting room is playing tricks on your mind. I always think of fitting room mirrors like evil funhouse mirrors. I'll try stuff on and discover rolls I didn't even know I had! I'm sure you'll find a bathing suit you'll feel confident in, you may just have to keep shopping. Since everyone's body is different, you may find some place where nothing fits right. And, that's okay. It's their selection. Not you. I've tried on heaps of clothes and walked out with nothing because there was something that was just a bit off on every piece. Happens to all of us I'm sure. Try not to be down on yourself. :)

    Some of my strategies? I try to position myself in different ways in the fitting room to combat the funhouse lighting. Sometimes it helps to stand back a bit and look from a different angle. I'll also try stuff on that I like but am not sure will look good on me. Sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised! Sometimes I'm like "lol, nope". If I have any "maybes" I'll take a pic in the fitting room and then show it to my husband. It's sometimes good to have an outside eye. They may not see what you see and point out why that item looks great (or sometimes not so great). Also if you think it maybe looks okay, but aren't sure, save your receipt and try it on at home. The better lighting and good mirror at home could make all the difference to what you are seeing. If I saw you on the beach I wouldn't be seeing a single thing you pointed out. Neither would anyone else. Usually, people are too absorbed into their own self to worry about other people anyways. Find one you like, and just think to yourself "Screw them! I look great and I know it!" If you don't believe it, just fake it. Fake confidence eventually turns into real confidence and no one from the outside will know the difference. ;) Tell yourself you're beautiful enough, you will eventually come to know it's true.
  • VUA21
    VUA21 Posts: 2,072 Member
    Go to a high end department store. Ask for help finding a swimsuit. LISTEN to the salesperson (because they work on commission as well as a base salary/wage, they really want to make a sale and aren't going to show you stuff that isn't flattering to you). Try the suits recommend on..... Even if you don't plan on buying anything, you'll get a really good idea of what cuts look best on your body. Swimsuits are like any other piece of clothing, different styles flatter different bodies.
  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
    Honestly, you look good. I'm in the same boat with the no waist and wide love handles thing, but you look far better than I currently do. And you have more hip. Rock that bathing suit because you look damn good.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    Your body looks good.

    Try a halter or bandeau style top - that will give you the visual appearance of a more rounded chest, and being smaller you can actually pull them off where they just look awful and are super uncomfortable on bigger girls.

    For bottoms try something with a higher waist and possibly higher cut legs...so, something like a retro style bottom or even a boy short bottom.

    Some of it is a style preference, but I do a lot of sewing and a lot of clothes looking good is just finding what is a good fit for your shape. If you really want to go with bottoms like you have on, then go with a tie side or block pattern so there is more definition on the sides to accent your hips.

Categories